Why Bad Things Happen to Good Parrots: A Sermon Under the Mount in Three Essays, plus a Short Story about Kurt Vonnegut

by Arik Bjorn

EBOOK VERSION

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“I enjoyed 'Why Bad Things Happen to Good Parrots' as much as I enjoyed Mark Twain’s 'Letters from the Earth'—and that is saying a heck of a lot.”

—Free Times

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In "Why Bad Things Happen to Good Parrots," author Arik Bjorn aims his keyboard at the Creator and asks several pointed questions not about how to live, but about why we are alive. These essays explore the Problem of Evil, the magic chicken multiverse, and chimichanga cosmology--plus there's a bonus tribute to the late, great author Kurt Vonnegut.

Bjorn is determined to dig his way to the center of the theological mountain—even if all he has is a trusty garden trowel: “I have always wanted to aim my keyboard directly at the Creator and ask several pointed questions not about how to live, but about why we are alive.”

In the title essay, “Why Bad Things Happen to Good Parrots,” Bjorn presents a heartfelt reflection 20 years in the making on Theodicy, or the Problem of Evil, “under the collective shadow of Aslan, Frodo and Freddy Kreuger.” In “Magic Chickens, Lemon Seeds & a Universe Sans Unicorns,” he wonders why the Creator presented us with this Universe, so absent in miraculous lemon trees, when human beings seem so good at inventing more interesting ones.

And with “The Science Fair at the Edge of the Universe,” Bjorn contemplates Creation prequels, such as a divine spicy midnight snack that may have led to the Big Bang. In the concluding short story, “Vonnegut Lives,” the author makes up for the fact that writer Kurt Vonnegut left our Little Blue Planet without appropriate ballyhoo.

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Arik Bjorn has published ten books. His most recent title, THIS IS NOT A SELF-HELP BOOK: AND YOU CAN TOO!, is a "Jesus take the wheel (of cheese!)" health recovery journey memoir.

Bjorn also recently published, UBER NIGHTS, about his late-night rideshare adventures in the Deep South. Bjorn has also published a novel, THE PRODIGAL, as well as several essay collections, plus a volume of short stories and poetry.

53 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 27, 2014

About the author

ARIK BJORN is a novelist and essayist, but most importantly, a dad. He enjoys French silk pie as well as a quality shot of bourbon. His writing explores such themes as the Problem of Pain and building Civilization (or at least humanity's efforts to-date). He also likes to honk at slowpokes.

Bjorn has published ten books. His most recent title, THIS IS NOT A SELF-HELP BOOK: AND YOU CAN TOO!, is a "Jesus take the wheel (of cheese!)" health recovery journey memoir. (If you're going to lose 85 pounds, might as well write about it.)

He also recently published, UBER NIGHTS, about his late-night rideshare adventures in the Deep South. In South Carolina, you never know if your next passenger will be a naked lady with a toothbrush, a banana spider, or a punch-drunk redneck.

Bjorn has also published a novel, THE PRODIGAL, as well as three essay collections: WAITING FOR CIVILIZATION, THE R-RATED THEOLOGIAN, and WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PARROTS. He has one short story collection, BIRDS OF A FEATHER, as well as a book of verse, POCKET LINT.

SO I RAN FOR CONGRESS chronicles his experience running for U.S. Congress. SHOW & TELL AT WORLD'S END is a social media diary about life in South Carolina during the COVID-19 pandemic.

He holds degrees in archaeology, ancient languages, and library science. He loves snow and hippos and enjoys retelling the story of how he was once shat upon by pigeons during Mass in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and thereafter fled down the Via Dolorosa in search of a towel.

To read more of Arik Bjorn's writings, visit his website, VIKINGWORD.COM -- he is also active on social media.