What do you think?
Rate this book
294 pages, Hardcover
First published April 7, 2015
I type and I type, and I trash every page. Every word I write feels false. The very act of writing feels false. Increasingly, everything around me feels false: the striving, the conversation, the social life, the theorizing, the art, the bustle and busyness...all phony. All invented to mask the reality the tribespeople knew: you're born, you live out your time, and you die. No big deal!Your tolerance for this sort of thing may be greater than mine, but a great deal of the book consists of her arguing with herself in this manner.
The tribespeople didn't cover this up. They saw it as it was; they lived it: the essential boredom of existence. They didn't create things to distract them from the truth, to make everything seem more interesting than it is....how can I write so many words about these people who used so few words of their own? How can I make this trip significant when nothing at all is significant?
And there is another woman sitting on the ground, her legs stretched out before her, naked except for her waistband and grass tuffet, who has the skin disease they call pukpuk--which is Pidgin for "crocodile"--because it turns the skin scaly. I remember being told that such people made good eating back in the day. I cannot say that she looks tasty.
Thirty years ago, I couldn't write about them without weeping. Twenty years ago, I couldn't write about them without raging. Four years ago, I couldn't even read my journals from the field without cringing. Despair, anger--shame!--all unfolding like stages of a peculiar grief..