This memoir by fine English author Penelope Lively uses her grandmother's house in the country as a means to view social, economic and cultural changes in Britain during the 20th Century. Her grandmother lived under a set of rules and customs that later generations can only marvel at - she always had servants, and had no ability to prepare food, nor any sense whatever of the possibility that she could do the washing-up. Her generation had no fear of getting their hands and clothes dirty - she was an avid gardener - but her sense of class expectations dominated. She and her siblings walked many miles daily, rode horses, and hunted, and knew everyone in their vicinity - the rise of the automobile and the depopulating of the countryside in favor of city opportunities changed all that.
But Lively isn't just recalling a house, with its fixed ways and aging-in-place furnishings - she is also observing changes of custom, and discussing art, writing, her student years at Oxford, etc.
She has this to say about marriage:
"Every marriage is a journey, a negotiation, an accommodation. In a long marriage, both partners will mutate; the people who set out together are not the same two people after ten years, let alone thirty or more.... You are separate people, but there is a third shadowy presence which is an entity, the fusion of you both."
About customs, she writes:
"Our early assumptions and beliefs are archaeological debris and their retrieval is almost as difficult, and quite as haphazard, as the recovery of the vision of childhood. What did I think before I learned how to think? How did I receive ideas before I discovered skepticism?"
She blends this passage of time with descriptions of artifacts of her grandmother's home and life, silver pieces from another era: "the bon-bon dish, the salver, the ivory-handled crumb scoop."
Lively is always worth reading - alongside the great currents of life, she shows us the happenstance, the details in which one may defy what seems destined.