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Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault

4.16  ·  Rating details ·  3,494 ratings  ·  492 reviews
At last, the book that answers the question on every parent’s mind: Why does my toddler hate me?
 

Okay, it’s not really hate. It’s just that a little psychopath who walks through life 100% convinced that he or she is the center of the universe does not care that you have a heart, a mind, or a soul. You are simply a skin-covered robot tall enough to reach the candy on top
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Paperback, 176 pages
Published April 7th 2015 by Workman Publishing Company
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Average rating 4.16  · 
Rating details
 ·  3,494 ratings  ·  492 reviews


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Heather K (dentist in my spare time)
Really funny, really relatable read for all parents. Sure, it's over-the-top, but when you are in the thick of it, an honest voice is a godsend.

Okay, this book is clearly meant to be satire, people. I've followed this author for a very long time and she loves her kids... a lot. Just parenting is sometimes the best and worst thing in the world, often at the same time. Bunmi Laditan gets it.



Starting my week of reading all black authors with this one!

(ppst- this on is on sale right now for only
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meghann
Jun 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I saw this book and just had to buy it for my friend. I'll give it to her at Christmas since her little one will just be entering her toddler years at this time. This book is written with 100% our sense of humor. There is so much cussing, and toddlers are often described as sociopaths whose mission in life is to destroy your soul. If you think your child is a miracle to be cherished, this book isn't for you. Its main intention is to normalize how horrible this time is and reinforce that it's not ...more
R
Mar 24, 2016 rated it really liked it
8 year old: what does that mean "toddlers are a-holes"?
Me: airholes. You know, what you breathe out of. Like nostrils. That's why the kid has a crayon in his nose.
8 year old: But what does it really mean?

Such a fun, laugh out loud book, with so many relatable moments!
Jennifer Heise
Jun 05, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: humor, parenting
A successful book need not be great; it must merely arrive at the proper time. In this case, the proper time is when your toddler is sending you bats**t insane.

Yes, it's over the top in places, and there's a whole series of slacker parent jokes that are a bit heavy handed. But between the humor there's some serious reminders that toddlers really don't understand you have a separate existence, and they really have no idea that waiting will not kill them or that the suspicious looking piece of fo
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Erica Harriman
Apr 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Hilarious!! I swear this this was written specifically about me and my child. I'm going to make Daddy read it because he doesn't understand toddlers and often thinks we may have given birth to a psychopath. No honey, he's just a toddler.
Sarah
Apr 26, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I laughed. You'll laugh. I may have laughed as hard as I did because there have been days, many, many long days, where if a pack of gypsies came by, I would literally hold my littlest out and say, "How much for this one?" And then, possibly counter with, "No, what do you want me to give you!?" If you don't laugh, you never had kids. Or are a sanctiparent and need to study the Sanctiparent Responses at the end of each chapter. Study them.
Adam
Mar 21, 2016 rated it liked it
Yep
Mehsi
A funny, honest, snarky, sarcastic, OMG-did-she-really-say-that? book about toddlers. Toddlers are assholes. I don't have kids myself, but I still know that toddlers are evil. :P So I had lots of fun reading this book. From clothes to parties to potty training to sex life with a toddler running and screaming around you to mealtime to well everything else. Did I mention wine or alcohol, a very important staple to survive toddlerhood. This book is full to the brim with everything about toddlers. T ...more
Jennifer
Apr 28, 2016 rated it did not like it
I really enjoy The Honest Toddler and Bunmi Laditan's Facebook posts. In that medium, short snippets and tiny glimpses into toddlerhood, she comes across as someone who will say the things we all know to be *occasionally* true about the parts of parenting no one talks about.

In book format, she doesn't come across as a keen observer with a sharp wit who says shocking but honest things sometimes. Instead, given an unlimited word count, a point that would be funny or ring true in 140 characters or
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Katie Reus
May 10, 2016 rated it it was amazing
This book is hilarious! My pre-parent self would probably be horrified reading this but after living through toddler-hood... I can appreciate the exaggeration of this book. Soooo funny and spot on about just how tough it can be when your kid is in the toddler stage. The chapter about a$$hole parents is brilliant too.
Nicole
Apr 07, 2017 rated it it was ok
I think I completely misunderstood what this book was going to be like. I pretty much skimmed through the whole thing in 30 minutes. Obviously it's loved by many (based on ratings), but it's not my cup of tea. I was looking for something helpful, not comedic. Again, my bad for misunderstanding the point of the book when I checked it out at the library.
Danni Pinnick
Jan 09, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I greatly enjoy Bunmi on social media, so I thought I'd check this out. It was a cute read! I must have gotten lucky with my daughter because I could not relate to a lot of it, but I know what to watch out for with my son, now! :-)
Madison
Mar 29, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting, nonfiction
I love the Honest Toddler and follow Bunmi on FB. Her humor makes me smile as I grit my teeth and make it through rough moments with my toddlers. But this book has a lot of swearing and feels too angry at times. Yes toddlers are jerks and small terrorists. But they are also fun and a learning adventure. Read the book in small chunks and not in a marathon read.
Shannon
Jan 09, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A good read for exhausted toddler parents

Ok, this book is the real deal. If you're offended by swear words, calling toddlers a**holes, or real REAL talk about how your hygiene and sex life takes a nose dive when you have a toddler, steer clear. But if you've had it up to HERE, are sleep deprived, might jump off a cliff if you don't learn how to laugh about all the ridiculous stuff your toddler does, please read this book. And laugh. Laugh very hard.
Paula Lee Johnson
Nov 16, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Fabulous

Seriously. I and my husband enjoyed every word written.
Not only do I recommend you get this book, if you have a toddler (and a sense of humor), but I also think you should get one for a friend, if they have or will have a toddler soon.
It should be a required present for the parent(s) of a child who just recently turned one.
Get the kid a present, and get the parents one too! (A copy of this book). Because after reading it, you will not be loaning yours out. You will be keeping your copy
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Melody Loomis
Dec 25, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I don't have children, but I do have a toddler niece and I used to teach preschool, so I could relate a lot to this book, lol. Like, the stuff you'd never thought you'd say: There's nothing in the bathroom trash for you. Yes! My niece loves to dig into my trash! What is it with toddlers and bathroom trash? LOL

I think I'll pass this book on to my sister now. She and her husband, as parents of the toddler, will probably relate to this book in even more ways than I can. Potty training has just star
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Tiff (fictionaltiff)
Wow!! This is the best book on toddlers I've ever read! At the end of the day, it's always good to get a laugh out of the stuff we go through as parents, and it is OKAY to complain about things instead of pretending life is perfect. Because if we don't talk through the hard times in life, we feel lonely and life seems even harder than before. And raising children is hard. It's REALLY hard, and it's okay to admit it.

This book is a fun, quick read that is over the top and completely sarcastic (an
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Jennifer Varnell
Overall the book was ok, however I was turned off most of the time by the author's 'potty' mouth and the fact that it seemed like she was trying really hard to be funny. Obviously having children isn't an easy task and as parents we have a lot of material to poke fun of our kids or life...I was expecting more of that narrative versus the totally over-the-top, unbelievable stories/examples that were given by the author.
Penny
Oct 03, 2017 rated it it was ok
Some parts are really funny and enjoyable. However, she simply goes overboard and after a while it becomes ridiculous. Not too much insight if you're a new mom (or dad) and was hoping to learn something new or some useful tricks. My suggestion? If you have time to waste and don't mind a lot of vulgarity and some over-the-top platitudes, then by all means, try to read it. On the other hand, if you're a busy parent who wants to gain insight into toddlerhood, don't waste your precious time.
Jenny
Jun 25, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2016
This is the only book my doctor has recommended. And I wasn't even in there to talk about my toddler! Ha! Laughed till I cried and I love to pull it out on hard days. the
Honest Toddler Facebook page is also hilarious. The how to make toddler toast video is my living version of Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.
Olivia Briscoe
Mar 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Hilarious

Bunmi is hysterical. The way she writes is so relatable and her comedic delivery is spot on. If you need a good laugh; aren't afraid of some bad language; and want to feel like you had a mommy date with the funniest chick on the block; read this book!
Lisa
Apr 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book is a must read. It's hilarious and honest, and makes me feel a teeny bit more sane.
Bunny
Nov 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-17
A toddler is a cross between a sociopath, a rabid animal, a cocker spaniel, a demon, and an angel. Depending on the time of day and when your toddler's last meal was, you will see all of these sides.

Y'all. I cannot stress enough how much everyone I am friends with needs to read this book.

The mothers. The child free by choicers. The grandmothers. ESPECIALLY the grandmothers.

This is validation. This is warning label. This is "bwa ha ha ha ha I AM SO HAPPY TO NOT HAVE KIDS BRING ON THE MARGARITAS
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Danielle Messier
Mar 19, 2019 rated it it was ok
I DNFed this at 70 pages. The humor was great and over the top but honestly I just found myself not wanting to pick this up. I’d read a little at a time then not want to continue. I think I would enjoy following the author on social media and reading sections of the book in a post. I can see why people love this and appreciate it but it just isn’t for me. It wasn’t that I was offended by the humor or couldn’t handle the language, but more so that I don’t think I can enjoy humor like this in a bo ...more
Kimberly
Oct 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
So relatable! My toddler gave me a breastfeeding related injury yesterday that drew blood 😭😭😭As I was standing there bleeding, I saw this book on my counter that I ordered from when he was nonstop whining for a week straight.

This was the perfect book for my mood and had me laughing through the pain. I think he's taking his Halloween costume of baby shark too far
Cassidy (Cassidys.Bookshelf)
Jan 17, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2018, own
5/5 glowing stars! Any parent of a toddler that has a sense of humor will get a kick out of this book. It's not meant to be taken seriously - it's meant to make you not feel so alone in the toddler stage and so you don't completely lose your sh!t.
Whitney
Feb 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Equally funny as it is terrifying. It’s obviously super extreme for humor sake, but I found myself trying to read parts out loud to my husband and was laughing/ crying so hard I couldn’t even get the words out
Alyss
Jan 25, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Someone did it! They sat down and wrote the Fucking truth of having a toddler. Some brave mother sat down and decided to take down the Toddler Embassy by giving away all the truths parents cover up with, “Its just a bad day.” No. It’s a bad four years. We can say it. We still love our children but good golly they push those buttons until all that is left is a phantom of who you once were.
I read this book in one sitting. Yes, my toddler was watching tv. But mama needed me time. It was like the t
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Jessica Potts
May 08, 2017 rated it really liked it
I read this all in one day because it was so outrageously funny and accurate. Sometimes it tries too hard, but I don't even care because just knowing that other people feel your toddler pain makes it brilliant. Thank you Bunmi Laditan for putting it all out there.
Rachel
Jan 13, 2018 rated it really liked it
If you have a sense of humor and don’t mind (lots of) swear words, then read and enjoy. SO hilarious and so relatable!
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Bunmi Laditan is a contributor to Parenting.com, Mothering.com, iVillage.com, and The Huffington Post. She lives with her family outside of Montreal. The Honest Toddler is based on her youngest child. Not potty trained, not trying, HT enjoys attention, cake, television, running & games. ...more

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