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Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage: Because a Great Relationship Doesn't Happen by Accident

4.47  ·  Rating details ·  99 ratings  ·  16 reviews
Is what you believe about marriage getting in the way of a GREAT relationship?

When you’ve put into practice all the usual advice, but your marriage still falls short of the intimacy and joy you want, what then? Are patience and perseverance your only hope for a better relationship?
Author and speaker Sheila Wray Gregoire says, “Absolutely not!” The solution to a happier
Paperback, 240 pages
Published August 18th 2015 by WaterBrook
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Heather King
Sheila Wray Gregoire’s new book, 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage, accomplishes something quite difficult: Saying something fresh about marriage. After reading and/or reviewing so many marriage books that focus on male/female communication and seeing the world as either pink or blue and offer cute little catchphrases, I loved how Gregoire dug a bit deeper. She tackles commonly held cliches or superficial Christian marriage beliefs and replaces them with 9 thoughts that could change the ...more
Aug 19, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Great Book Whether You Have a "Good" Marriage or one that needs some TLC!

My husband and I have been married going-on-three-years. I know, ancient. We have a good great marriage. It's not perfect (neither of us are), but we've grown a lot and worked through things together. We understand each other better now, and we try to make sure we're fighting for each other, not with each other.

Even though we're blessed to be in our relationship and for it to be so strong already, I'm always trying to learn
Lindsey Bell
Sep 08, 2015 rated it it was amazing
If you’re looking for a new marriage book to dig into, I highly recommend Sheila’s new book. It offers REAL solutions to REAL problems people face in their marriages. And it does so without giving pat Christian answers.

Sheila walks through 9 specific thoughts you can change that will make a huge impact on your marriage. Some of these thoughts include:
-My husband is my neighbor.
-My husband is not put on this earth to make me happy.
-Being one is more important than being right.
And more!

My greatest
Carrie Daws
Aug 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing
What a phenomenal book! Sheila Wray Gregoire tackles tough subjects in marriage with great humor and wit, but never releases or negates the wife's responsibility for her own attitudes and actions. She openly shares some of the times she messed up in her own marriage, and then relates the difference a few small (or sometimes BIG) changes made. Whether you are struggling or think married life is pretty good, I'm sure you can find some truth in this book to make things so much better.
Oct 09, 2019 rated it really liked it
Such a refreshing addition to the marriage book canon! I really appreciated Sheila’s focus on personal responsibility in our marriages. She unpacks nine concepts (things like “my husband was not put on this earth to make me happy” and “I am not in competition with my husband” and “if I’m not careful we’ll drift apart”); points out problems with oft-used marriage “pat answers”; and provides alternative ways of thinking, including lots of easily accessible action steps. Great practical and ...more
Aug 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: marriage-family
Whether you've been married for 5 minutes or 80 years, whether your marriage is lousy or fantastic, you need to read this book. My marriage is great and we've been married a while, but I still found this book to have a wonderfully positive impact on my marriage.
Oct 25, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-loved-it
There are many marriage relationship books I've read over the last 17 years of marriage. Honestly, most of them haven't really "stuck" and some of them I didn't even get all the way through. This book, on the other hand, is one that really hit home with me. The author is so wise yet down-to-earth in each of the chapters. She describes several of the lies many of us women believe and gives us an action plan to turn things around to the betterment of our marriages. I love the practical ...more
Gabrielle W.
Aug 27, 2015 rated it it was amazing
A refreshing new book to the sea of relationship books. After reading so many marriage/relationship books it's hard to find one the you not only agree with but one that also teaches you something new.
Sheila Wray Gregorie tackles tough subjects tackling real life problems with real life solutions.
She goes through (as the title says) 9 thoughts that can make a huge impact on your marriage. Though I am not married, I've read my fare share of marriage books, and I loved this one!
"Because a great
May 19, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2016-beth-read
Although this book was not life-changing for me, it was thought-provoking. I was able to take away at least one thing from each of the nine thoughts that will make an impact of my marriage, family and myself.

This book is well worth reading even for those women who are engaged or have been "happily" married for many years.

My only complaint is that she sometimes misapplies scripture to make her point. Meaning she uses particle verses or takes verses out of context. I don't think her intention is
Dec 09, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I love this book because it takes you by the ear and forces you to look in the mirror! The tag line is “because a great relationship doesn’t happen by accident” - Sheila helps you see how you can change the dynamics of your marriage, instead of waiting for your spouse to change. Super fun read!
Jessica Lynn
Oct 29, 2015 rated it really liked it
I appreciated her honest writing and approach to some of the more touchy subjects of marriage. The action steps through out the book are a great way to take the ideas and put them into your everyday, real life and interactions with your husband.
Jessica Abell
Aug 24, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Really is just eye opening and tweaks the way of thinking in marriage. Sheila is insightful and connects with the reader on each thought. Great read.

I also follow her blog. She is amazing.
Oct 14, 2015 rated it liked it
I received this as a Goodreads giveaway. I found it to be an enlightening, encouraging, and helpful relationship book.
Erin Henry
Aug 18, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Really helpful tips. I feel her chapter on being a peacemaker not peacekeeper is really important.
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Aug 04, 2018 rated it liked it
"Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage" had a great deal of information on self-improvement. However, there were very few marital situations used by the author that I was able to relate to, as a woman whose husband is not spiritual or nurturing. Those were the issues I was going to find more answers on, but the book felt more geared toward marriages with "traditional" Christian roles. The book was well written, though, and I enjoyed the way the author would state the status quo answers for ...more
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Sheila Wray Gregoire is a syndicated parenting columnist and a popular speaker. The author of six books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, with more on the way, she loves encouraging women to forget about the dust bunnies under their beds and keep their focus on Jesus! She also has a passion for family, and together with her husband Keith speaks at Family Life marriage conferences ...more
“Most of us save our best behavior for those whom we barely know and show our worst side to those we know the best.” 3 likes
“Whatever you tolerate will continue. If he’s doing something wrong—not just something that’s irritating—you need to stop tolerating it. This is not the same as trying to change him. It simply means that you change how you react to him.” 1 likes
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