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Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart

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3.85  ·  Rating details ·  130 ratings  ·  32 reviews
Today's divorce epidemic reflects the rise of many social forces that can pull even the happiest couple apart. In fact, many of us hold deeply ingrained attitudes and assumptions that work against long-term marital happiness. From renowned family therapist Dr. William J. Doherty, this book helps couples pinpoint hidden marital problems and take positive steps to stay close ...more
Paperback, 1st Edition, 184 pages
Published June 1st 2003 by The Guilford Press (first published 2001)
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Average rating 3.85  · 
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Amy
Apr 25, 2009 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting-family
I read this, not because I thought my marriage needed "taking back," but because it was one of several books on marriage recommended in a magazine. I had previously read Doherty's book, The Intentional Family, about family rituals and liked his approach. Doherty's main case in this book is that we have become such a consumer-oriented society that we even use the consumer approach when it comes to marriage. We focus on what we are getting out of marriage and what our needs and wants are, with hig ...more
Sara
Sep 04, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A book well worth reading. Filled with information that, if applied, can strengthen any marriage. Doherty does a great job at explaining how consumerism, especially in America, is having a negative impact on the way we view marriage and consequently, divorce.
Doherty give antidotes to common pitfalls that couples face, and does so with humor and empathy.
He speaks from a position of actively supporting marriage, not being indifferent to it. This book declares that you CAN find connection and f
...more
Jennefer
May 31, 2020 rated it liked it
This book was part of the curriculum for one of my college courses. Doherty shares some really valuable insight to guide couples through marriage in a culture that has embraced consumerism. He shares very practical and applicable tools such as setting boundaries and marital rituals that contribute to not only a lasting marriage but one that is happy as well.
Stela Idrizi
Jul 09, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I read this for one of my classes and found it very helpful in my mentality about my marriage. It helped me realize that it was time our toddler had a bedtime and that we should plan to spend more time together and do fun things like we used to before kids. It has been so good and the quality of our marriage has increased a lot. I am 25 and have been married for 3 years
Deadra
Aug 30, 2017 rated it really liked it
A good reminder of why we need to keep working on the most important relationship in our lives, our marriage.
Andrea
Nov 16, 2019 rated it really liked it
I read this one for class, but I think I would have picked it up anyway. I found his information on love rituals especially beneficial.
Rachael
Jan 20, 2020 rated it really liked it
I read this book for a class I am taking. I specifically loved the information about consumer marriage, marriage rituals, and community support for strengthening marriages.
Ashley Eaton
May 17, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Expect to feel like you're reading a textbook. But the information and research within this book is amazing and very useful in strengthening marital relationships. Highly recommend! ...more
Tricia
Jul 29, 2021 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Read for a class. Some good practical tips on strengthening marriages and dealing with marital issues.
Kami
Dec 16, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I read an excellent article on parenting a while back and wrote down all the books referenced in the back of the book. Doherty wrote a great book about marriage. I skipped a couple of chapters, but most if it was dead on. I love to part about a retail marriage -- getting the newest, latest and greatest electronic toys does not apply to marriage, though some in our culture seem to think it does. We stick with it. We serve. We make it work and that is what makes it so beautiful.

Doherty mentioned s
...more
Angela Cheney
Apr 20, 2010 rated it really liked it
Take Back your Marriage
Doherty presents a useful perspective that analyzes how our consumerist society exerts pressures that pull people apart in a marriage. Marriage has changed over the decades, and our expectations today are very different than the expectations that couples brought to their marriages in our parents' generation. These days, we're likely to be much more demanding of the ways in which we want our marriages to "measure up," which is often a tall--and unrealistic--approach. Dohert
...more
Jessica
May 28, 2009 rated it liked it
I read Doherty's book about family rituals and found it insightful and helpful. I recommend that book to anyone who wants to create meaningful rituals in the family, whether or not children are involved. I thought this book might do the same for marriage, and it does, but it also has quite a few chapters that talk about the prevalence of divorce and how to avoid divorce. We are thankfully not in a crisis stage in our marriage and so this section of the book was not useful to me. I found Doherty' ...more
Amy
Nov 19, 2013 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
Pretty good, possibly not the best marriage book I've ever read, but good food for thought.

Biggest nuggets I got out of this one:

*Make traditions routine. Things like lunch every Wednesday, or coffee after dinner, or a footrub during Tv, are small things that bind together a marriage.

*Don't read marriage books and then jump on your partner about all the things the marriage book has said. Just because you've got your relationship forefront in your mind and have spent the last four days thinking
...more
Rozana AlBanawi
May 29, 2010 rated it really liked it
This book is excellent for single people, who want to learn about marriage's challenges and joys and comprehend the dynamics of intimate relationships in a modern world influenced by consumerism and materialism.
It is also excellent for married people who want an optimistic and realistic perspective that helps them look at their glasses half full.
This is an easy to read and practical book; the author supports his ideas with research findings and longitudinal studies conducted in the area of "ma
...more
Rachel Meyers
Jan 05, 2011 rated it really liked it
I've just begun this book, but it's fantastic so far. Not that I'm having problems with my marriage, but someone recommended this to me and now I realize how much better I can be! The author is definitely pro-marriage and pro-sticking-it-out-when-everyone-else-is-getting-a-divorce. I'm excited to read the rest of the book.

I have only great things to say about this book. My husband is now reading it and likes it too. Everyone should read this book.
...more
Amanda
Jul 25, 2008 rated it it was amazing
One of the best books about marriage that I have ever read. Even my husband read it and liked it. That alone means it is worth reading because my husband is the ultimate critic of self help books. The author states that his marriage book is unlike many others on the market because it is NOT a book about communication. A very good read!
Crystal
Oct 05, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Very inspiring and thought-provoking. Good for therapists and for people who work with couples, in addition to those who just want to pump up their marriage or who are struggling in their relationship. Gives a new way to think about relationships and these tools can translate to other relationships too- not just marriages/partnerships!
Taryn
Dec 13, 2008 added it
Pretty good so far. I have to read it for Family discussion over Christmas break, not because I'm taking back my marriage.

Sometimes non-fiction doesn't take "finishing" to get what you need out of the book.
...more
Marilyn
I read this (or at least most of the end of it) in a couple of hours at Barnes and Noble (The library didn't have a copy of it and they should have had more than one). I think it had some very good ideas that I expect will stick with me. ...more
Brandon
Jun 10, 2008 rated it really liked it
Good advice and simple ways to protect your marriage from...life.
Cameron
Nov 14, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: psychotherapy
This is not a bad book and a good way of looking at our priorities.
Elise
Apr 13, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: social-work
This is for a couples therapy class...no one need be concerned!
Michelle
Sep 24, 2010 rated it really liked it
Beautiful opener worth pondering in itself
Carolyn
Oct 14, 2010 rated it really liked it
This book encouraged me to celebrate and strengthen my own and everybody else's marriage. It has some concrete ideas about how to do this. ...more
Diane
Jun 15, 2011 added it
read this many years ago and thought it made a lot of sense
Franchesca
Dec 26, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Reading for my LMFT class. Practical!
Glen
May 30, 2013 rated it liked it
Addresses the issues which pull couple apart. While a bit dated, it maintains its usefulness and illustrates these issues are timeless.
Catherine
Dec 07, 2013 rated it really liked it
I thought this was an interesting read on his marriage is viewed in society today and how we can keep our marriages strong.
Marvelyne
Dec 13, 2016 added it
Shelves: marriage
Great book for my husband and I as it helps us to become better at keeping our marriage alive and making sure that the last thing we do is seek a divorce.
Jill
Jun 28, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I met Bill Doherty and enjoy his approach to relationships.
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