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Modern Romance

3.81  ·  Rating details ·  171,539 ratings  ·  13,284 reviews
Now a New York Times Bestseller

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connectio
Hardcover, 279 pages
Published June 16th 2015 by Penguin Press
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Madison Calhoun I think that older generations will actually like this more than younger generations. Personally, I found a lot of this book boring, because I already…moreI think that older generations will actually like this more than younger generations. Personally, I found a lot of this book boring, because I already knew everything he was mentioning about technology. It wasn't new to me. However, I feel like a lot of older adults might not be as aware of how dating sites, Tinder, etc. work. However, I also thought this was a little boring, because it had a lot of advice for singles. I'm in a relationship, so this wasn't applicable to me at all. So, I guess it kinda depends. If you're reading it to learn about how romance correlates with technology, go for it. But if you'll get bored hearing a lot of content geared towards singles, you may want to skip it.(less)
Laureen Andrews No. Not a novel & not specifically humorous. There is humor & I laughed a few times, but do not expect to read amusing anecdotes & biographical storie…moreNo. Not a novel & not specifically humorous. There is humor & I laughed a few times, but do not expect to read amusing anecdotes & biographical stories. It's more like a newspaper article than the funny pages.(less)

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Average rating 3.81  · 
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 ·  171,539 ratings  ·  13,284 reviews

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Jul 06, 2015 rated it really liked it
Recommended to Anne by: diane
So, this isn't really a humorous book about Aziz Ansari's dating experiences, it's more like a book about dating in the modern world, written by the very humorous Aziz Ansari.


I was introduced to Aziz's stand-up by my oldest son, and I've been hooked on him ever since. He's hilarious, and if you haven't seen him perform you're missing out. Which makes me wish I'd listened to this as an audiobook...


Turns out, Aziz and his partner, Eric Klinenberg, did quite a bit of research for this book. Now,
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Find all of my reviews at:

3.5 Stars

Houston commercial photography

Modern Romance went on my TBR as soon as I heard rumors of its existence. We’re talking about waiting months for this damn thing (and also never being able to track down an ARC) . . .

Houston commercial photography

Quick confession – I never bothered reading the synopsis for this book. I saw Aziz Ansari had a “romance” book coming out and my brain immediately thought it would be something like “Tom Haverford’s Guide to Dating” . . .

Houston commercial photography

If I would h
Nandakishore Varma
Oct 06, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: gr-2015-choice
I got married in 1989. In India in those days, "love" marriages were still exceptions rather than the norm: when you had to look at the religion, caste, family background, and age of a possible partner who was to share your life (divorces were absolute stigma!) before hitching up, falling in love was like solving a mathematical equation with too many constraints. For a nerdy, uncouth, shy and bookish youngster who got tongue-tied in presence of a halfway-pretty girl, this was even more of a nigh ...more
Clumsy Storyteller
As a single woman I feel like Aziz Ansari knows my pain. Yes I am single by choice ( not my choice, but still a choice) , He knows how unpleasant it is to stare impotently at a screen waiting for a message that never arrives “we all have Tanya on our phones”
The hours slouched by. “I’m so stupid!” he writes. “I should have typed ‘Hey’ with two y’s, not just one!” Later: “Did Tanya’s phone fall into a river/trash compactor/volcano? Did Tanya fall into a river/trash compactor/volcano?? Oh no, T
Stephanie *Eff your feelings*
Sep 22, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2015, humor
I am a satisfied single.

I did not coin that term, I did hear it from somewhere, but I don’t remember who said it. Sorry person who said it. Anyway.....what this means to me is that I’m fine with being on my own. It’s easy. Would I like to meet ‘the love of my life’ or ‘the man of my dreams’ my 'soul mate' if you will? Sure, I’d be alright with that, in fact it would be great. But I'm not holding my breath.

Am I willing to spend hours and hours poring over profiles, reading messages from guys that
Snoon Mcwilliams
Jul 07, 2015 rated it it was ok
Startlingly inessential.

Early on, Ansari makes a somewhat baffling statement that he felt compelled to write this book because there wasn't any other literature on modern dating culture-- a topic explored ad nauseum in newspaper thinkpieces, podcasts, and other disposable pop science bestsellers (many of which he goes on to reference throughout the book). He also mentions that he rejected the idea of writing a strictly humorous book because he feels like his stand-up is a more comfortable medium
Elyse  Walters
Nov 26, 2015 rated it it was amazing
At the beginning of the audiobook, Aziz joked with 'us listeners', about being
"Lazy People"......too lazy to sit down and read a book. He not only had to write the
book, but now he 'had' to read it us us too!

Aziz is entertaining and hilarious no questions about it. Love the guy!

By the end of my 'lazy- listening'... I came to the conclusion that Aziz brought playfulness and lightness to the game called "Modern Dating".
However ...'everyone' could benefit listening to this audio tape if you pla
Joe Valdez
Oct 24, 2018 rated it really liked it
Like every successful standup comedian today, Aziz Ansari was offered a book deal. Though Patton Oswalt did turn his offer into Silver Screen Fiend: Learning About Life from an Addiction to Film, Ansari's peers have largely released memoirs or joke books; even George Carlin wasn't above taking money that a publishing house was giving away and adding "New York Times bestselling author" to his accomplishments. Winning the award for original thought, Ansari turned his offer into Modern Romance, a s ...more
Nov 05, 2015 rated it really liked it
Aziz Ansari is a funny guy. I've enjoyed his work as an actor and a comedian, so I shouldn't have been surprised when I really liked his book.

But I was surprised, especially when I learned that he had teamed up with a sociologist and did actual research on modern romance. Aziz was interested in how technology has changed dating culture, and he opens the book with a funny story about a girl, Tanya, who didn't text him back after he had asked her out. He realizes that texting and social media and
Sarah Jane
Aug 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I think Aziz Ansari just convinced me to get on Tinder?
i posted, i posted, i posted! plz be proud of me. link here:

Disclaimer: I have the biggest crush on Aziz Ansari. Can anyone blame me? He’s like a humor magician. Parks & Rec, flawless standup specials, MASTER OF NONE, and this book. What a track record.

Anyway. I could never claim to be unbiased on this subject. It’s now clear that what I thought was a post-season 2 Master of None hangover is just...part of me now. I am destined for an existenc
4ish stars.

Disclaimer: This review contains my life story/abridged relationship history. Do not feel obligated to read it in its entirety, but c'mon it's kind of entertaining.

Surprisingly not as funny, but much more insightful than I expected. I guess I figured this would be Master of None in book form with Ansari chronicling specific experiences he's had that reflect dating culture today. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of humor, and Ansari does throw in a few auto-biographical accounts, bu
Glenn Sumi
May 25, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
Bravo to comic and actor Aziz Ansari for not writing just another memoir-by-someone-who’s-sorta-famous-but-hasn’t-lived-long-enough-to-really-warrant-one. I’ve read a number of them (good: Bossypants; okay: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?; abandoned: sorry, Lena Dunham).

Modern Romance is about dating in the digital age. Getting to know people has evolved significantly even over the past few years. Dating sites, swipe apps like Tinder and sexting are a far cry from how people used to meet – y

"A phone call? The WORST."
- Female Focus Group Participant

"If you want to talk to me, you're going to have to call me."
- Another Female Focus Group Participant

- Every Guy in That Focus Group

The issue of calling versus texting generated a wide variety of responses in our focus groups. Generally, younger dudes were FUCKING TERRIFIED of calling someone on a phone. This didn't surprise me that much, but I was surprised that younger women also expressed terror at the
Dec 06, 2017 rated it really liked it
I came into this not expecting much, but this was fascinating! I picked it up without reading the description, so I was pleasantly surprised to find the majority of this is based on psych studies. If you're interested in the psychology behind modern dating, I highly recommend. Definitley listen to this as an audiobook.

It also left me more depressed about being single, but heigh-ho!
Chihoe Ho
May 25, 2015 rated it it was ok
"Modern Romance" straddles the line of being funny and serious. It doesn't commit (get the pun?) one way or the other, and so, falls flat on both fronts. This is especially unsatisfying as I love Aziz and his work. Perhaps it's with this high expectation and skewed notion of what this book could have been that made it all the more disheartening. The quicker you accept the fact that "Modern Romance" isn't what you wished it was, the easier you'll find yourself enjoying it a little more.

It isn't a
In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

“The world is available to us, but that may be the problem.”

Fun fact: I actually started 2017 with this read, but at the time it didn't feel relevant enough for me to get the most out of it, so I put the book down. Fast forward to November, when I discovered the wonder that is the Hidden Brain podcast, where it featured an episode with Aziz Ansari sh
Jul 10, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction, 2015
The knowledge offered in this book is pretty common and obvious, nothing you haven't read online/heard on a podcast. But some anecdotes, especially about dating in other countries/cultures are funny and interesting.

I am glad I listened to an audio narrated by Ansari himself. I can't imagine reading the book on my own, to be honest.
Roy Lotz
Jan 16, 2017 rated it really liked it
One firm takeaway from all our interviews with women is that most dudes out there are straight-up bozos.

My introduction to modern romance was abrupt and unexpected. I was back in New York for the holidays, drinking with a few friends, sipping and gulping the wonderful IPAs that I miss when I’m here in Spain.

Sometime deep into the night, one of my friends, who is a gay man—this is relevant to the story; you should also know that I’m a straight guy—asked if anyone wanted to go on his Tinder.
Apr 09, 2015 rated it really liked it
Ok, so I picked this up thinking this was going to be a Aziz Ansari version of a Steve Harvey book. You know the kind with advice like "Ladies, don't call him back right away!" kind of thing.

This is not that kind of book. Ansari worked with a sociologist to look at love in the modern age. He covers everything from texting to sexting to Tinder and how love/romance has changed due to technology.

I really like that the book took a more academic approach. Because it's Aziz, it's also still funny. I
I've been so behind on my reviewing these days, but I had so much fun with this one I wanted to make sure I didn't let it fall through the dark cracks into the swirling abyss where my non-reviewed books go.

I'm a huge fan of Ansari. I think he's cute as a button and funny as goddamn hell. I watched him in Parks & Rec, his most recent Netflix original Master of None (which I highly recommend), and thoroughly enjoy his stand-up concerts. He's not at the same level as Louis CK or Patton Oswalt, but
Mar 19, 2017 rated it really liked it
This book is more insightful than I first anticipated. It is a funny book indeed, but the focus group discussions and other researches that discussed in this book are good for my own thinking and introspection.
Nenia ✨️ I yeet my books back and forth ✨️ Campbell

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There are a lot of books that I am interested in reading but don't really get around to unless the book is selected by a book club or for a buddy read. This is because sites like Amazon and Goodreads have made the whole prospect of choosing a book so stressful. Up-and-coming books, out-of-print books, esoteric books from small presses - there are so many options. Before Goodreads, I would select books based on the cover, the synopsis on
Jul 25, 2016 rated it really liked it
3.5 stars, but I rounded up, just because Aziz is hilarious.

This was really a very interesting read. Obviously well researched and very insightful. It was funny, for me, reading about the way romance was done before the technology we have today and in modern times, because I went through my teens in a gap time I guess. I grew up in the 90's and early 00's, so I didn't have my own cell phone until I was closer to an adult and even these days, I'm not big into social media (GR is about it for my s
This is a more serious book than the cover or author could lead one to believe: I think Ansari is hilarious, and I was pleasantly surprised by the blend of humor and social sciences to be found in this often funny, but sometimes painful, look at modern dating culture. As a student of history, I was well aware that the very idea of romance is fairly modern, marriages having basically been business transactions for thousands of years. But post-Industrial Revolution Western society quickly became p ...more
B Schrodinger
Aziz has written a book on romance and dating in the 21st Century and he wants us all to take him seriously.

I know what you're thinking, and so did Aziz, "Another comedian book, another fluffed out 200 page book with anecdotes that probably didn't happen".

This is not that type of book at all.

Aziz was interested in how dating works these days and decided to team up with a proper social scientist to do some research. And it seems like he was heavily invested in it all. The new research that Aziz
Matthew Quann
Sep 07, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: science
Are you single?

Are you in a relationship?

Do you use a cellphone?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone older or younger than you about technology ruining/not ruining society?

Do you ever wonder why people don't text you back within moments of you texting them despite the fact that you can see that they've read the text?

If any of this applies to you, then you need to do yourself a favour and dig into Aziz Ansari's book. This gorgeously bound book beautifully dodges all the pitfalls of a n
Omg what fucking yawnfest. I'm so pissed at how misleading the book description is. In it this book is called "hilarious". Can someone point me to the hilarious part in the book? All it got out of me was couple of giggles and a snort. DNF at 50%.
I just want to say that I'm fan of Ansari, as an actor and a comedian, but this book felt more like a lecture, with a couple of giggle-worthy comments thrown in. The book is not badly written, at all. Aziz uses a lot research and material from interviews
Chuddchutney Buana
Jun 10, 2015 rated it really liked it
There's a reason why Goodreads aptly put this book in a non-fiction category in this year Goodreads Choice Awards, while it could've easily been in the humor section.

The thing is, much like his brilliant new series Master of None, the comedy's there, but not as a central point. Instead, it was being used as an accessory for Aziz to make an interesting topic become more engaging.

If there's one downside is that the book can be repetitive at times. He often wrote something that was pretty much in
Shannon (kitchandpages)
Sep 16, 2015 rated it really liked it
Actual rating 4.5 stars
Well I don't know what I was thinking when I picked this (audio)book up, but Modern Romance wasn't it. I really like this! It was super interesting and I feel like I learned a lot about the history of romance and how it's changed with technology. Being a person who was been off the market since 2006, a lot of this stuff was news to me, lol - I really enjoyed how Aziz talked to people of all ages and all around the world. This is not your typical comedian-memoir
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Aziz Ishmael Ansari is an American actor and comedian. He starred as Tom Haverford on the NBC show Parks and Recreation.

Ansari began his career performing standup comedy in New York City during the summer of 2000 while attending New York University. In 2007, he created and starred in the critically acclaimed MTV sketch comedy show Human Giant, which ran for two seasons. This led to acting roles in

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“Marriage was an economic institution in which you were given a partnership for life in terms of children and social status and succession and companionship. But now we want our partner to still give us all these things, but in addition I want you to be my best friend and my trusted confidant and my passionate lover to boot, and we live twice as long. So we come to one person, and we basically are asking them to give us what once an entire village used to provide: Give me belonging, give me identity, give me continuity, but give me transcendence and mystery and awe all in one. Give me comfort, give me edge. Give me novelty, give me familiarity. Give me predictability, give me surprise. And we think it’s a given, and toys and lingerie are going to save us with that. Ideally, though, we’re lucky, and we find our soul mate and enjoy that life-changing mother lode of happiness. But a soul mate is a very hard thing to find.” 148 likes
“When I've really been in love with someone, it's not because they looked a certain way or liked a certain TV show or a certain cuisine. It's more because when I watched a certain TV show or ate a certain cuisine with them, it was the most fun thing ever.” 107 likes
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