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Milk, Turkey, and Neurosis: or, How Mother (Almost) Ruined My Life
Gracie Feldman is cursed. Her mother's blundering impudence seems to sabotage every job, every relationship, and every aspect of her life. Now Gracie is living single, with her obese, feebleminded, lazy cat Morgott in an apartment in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. Gracie knows Mother will soon call with an invitation to the holiday dinner, and she will not let the twenty-something girl live it down if she shows up without a date; so she rashly tells Dearest Mother that she already has a boyfriend. Gracie has to scramble and embark on a series of blind dates to find someone who could not only survive Mother's bumbles, but would receive Mother's approval.
As the clock winds closer to the eleventh hour, Gracie's blind date debacles, ranging from a cross-dressing police officer to a mustached marauder to a heavyset swinger who lives with an elderly couple, have landed her on desperate grounds. Now Gracie's dignity and future hangs on this dinner going perfectly, to try and find sanity before insanity finds her.
Colorful characters that range from a cat who is entranced by its own shadow, an aunt who speaks her own language, and a girl who needs to find her own life fill the story like the stuffing in a Thanksgiving turkey.
Join Gracie and her kooky cat Morgott in their search for a man, a career, a life, and a delicious dinner Gracie can call her own.
As the clock winds closer to the eleventh hour, Gracie's blind date debacles, ranging from a cross-dressing police officer to a mustached marauder to a heavyset swinger who lives with an elderly couple, have landed her on desperate grounds. Now Gracie's dignity and future hangs on this dinner going perfectly, to try and find sanity before insanity finds her.
Colorful characters that range from a cat who is entranced by its own shadow, an aunt who speaks her own language, and a girl who needs to find her own life fill the story like the stuffing in a Thanksgiving turkey.
Join Gracie and her kooky cat Morgott in their search for a man, a career, a life, and a delicious dinner Gracie can call her own.
234 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 14, 2014
13 people are currently reading
915 people want to read
About the author
Grace Anne Feldman
1 book2 followersGrace Ann Feldman is an avid lover of cats, the kooky, and her mother, Mallory. She studied Creative Writing and English at Southern New Hampshire University and has written numerous articles in publications throughout the world. She lives in Fort Lauderdale, Florida with her cat Morgott and her boyfriend Herbie. This is her first novel.
www.GracieFeldman.com
@TheGraceFeldman
www.GracieFeldman.com
@TheGraceFeldman
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
October 5, 2023
Funny at times.. a little absurd at times.. and pretty insensitive at times. Could use some editing! It had lots of potential, but ended up falling flat by the end.
March 14, 2014
I really enjoyed this laugh out loud funny book. It is the best book I have read all year, hands down. I have not laughed so much in a very long time. Who needs television when you can read this book?
The author does a great job of telling about Grace's many misadventures. I could visualize each scene in my mind as if I was actually there (I'm glad I wasn't). Grace's mother is a real "piece of work". She is an annoying control freak who would drive most people crazy.
Grace was on a mission to find a man through a dating site to satisfy her mother's expectations. From the mustached man to the weed smoker to the perverted cop, Grace dated them all.
I loved the cats mentioned in the book since I used to have lots of cats of my own. I was really sad when Grace lost her beloved cat.
I highly recommend this well written book to anyone who needs a good laugh. I can't wait to read more books from this very talented author.
The author does a great job of telling about Grace's many misadventures. I could visualize each scene in my mind as if I was actually there (I'm glad I wasn't). Grace's mother is a real "piece of work". She is an annoying control freak who would drive most people crazy.
Grace was on a mission to find a man through a dating site to satisfy her mother's expectations. From the mustached man to the weed smoker to the perverted cop, Grace dated them all.
I loved the cats mentioned in the book since I used to have lots of cats of my own. I was really sad when Grace lost her beloved cat.
I highly recommend this well written book to anyone who needs a good laugh. I can't wait to read more books from this very talented author.
March 26, 2024
2.5 ⭐️
Some parts of this book had me chuckling and other parts really made me wonder what was going through this authors mind. A collection of unfortunate events.
Some parts of this book had me chuckling and other parts really made me wonder what was going through this authors mind. A collection of unfortunate events.
April 24, 2014
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When I saw the cover of this book, it was rather strange. I thought this book is a recipe book about milk and sandwich, oh I was wronged. It was a contemporary fiction. How can I tell of this book is a good? A simple trick is to look for inspiring quote within the book. If the quote is good, then I know that this author has taken great effort to entertain her readers. Well, there is really such a good quote in this book. "When you can't brush your teeth, chew on grass." This simple and yet inspiring quote. Obviously, the main character, Gracie's mother is trying to encourage to brush her teeth or wise.... This simple parenting also inspires me although it is not really a quotation. Very smart sharing indeed. But when I read further, it is not good parenting technique, but a torture to the Gracie.
This fiction sets in the modern setting when the main character, Gracie, a twenty-something girl trying very hard to steer away from her mother influence as she in search for the man she can love, establish her career and manage her life without the influence of her mother. I find the overall read to be funny especially her fat and clumsy cat, Morgott.
As mentioned above, the main character Gracie is kind of under the protection of her mother while she tries to manage her career and life and virtually everything else. I find Gracie a poor soul always being controlled by her mother. Always giving her all sorts of silly advice, suggestions that confused her. I find it hard to believe there is such a mom on Earth. Overall, I think this character, Gracie is a strong and determined girl, trying to break away from her mother's hands.
The plot is simple to follow and is suitable to most people, even young adults. There are some scenes that really funny, silly and sometimes out of the world. As I read the book, I can't help but to laugh and laugh. You can be rest assured that you are able to complete the whole novel under one sitting.
This book is a simple book to read with lots of surprises and twists. This book is great for teens, young adults, and even mature readers like myself. You'll definitely get lots of entertainment and enjoyment out of this novel.
If there's one thing I'd change about this book, it would be to be the cover. I would prefer the cover to have some cartoon illustration characters about Gracie, her mother or her cat. It will sure to attached leisure readers that wants a good afternoon. However, the overall story is a good read. Are you interested how the author crafted a good read, then you really must read this novel?
This book looked great on my Kindle Fire tablet. It has good formatting and layout.
If you found this review useful, let the community know.
Zhu Hsia is the author of The Elements (A YA Urban Fantasy) and The Third (An Urban Paranormal Romance Novel).
When I saw the cover of this book, it was rather strange. I thought this book is a recipe book about milk and sandwich, oh I was wronged. It was a contemporary fiction. How can I tell of this book is a good? A simple trick is to look for inspiring quote within the book. If the quote is good, then I know that this author has taken great effort to entertain her readers. Well, there is really such a good quote in this book. "When you can't brush your teeth, chew on grass." This simple and yet inspiring quote. Obviously, the main character, Gracie's mother is trying to encourage to brush her teeth or wise.... This simple parenting also inspires me although it is not really a quotation. Very smart sharing indeed. But when I read further, it is not good parenting technique, but a torture to the Gracie.
This fiction sets in the modern setting when the main character, Gracie, a twenty-something girl trying very hard to steer away from her mother influence as she in search for the man she can love, establish her career and manage her life without the influence of her mother. I find the overall read to be funny especially her fat and clumsy cat, Morgott.
As mentioned above, the main character Gracie is kind of under the protection of her mother while she tries to manage her career and life and virtually everything else. I find Gracie a poor soul always being controlled by her mother. Always giving her all sorts of silly advice, suggestions that confused her. I find it hard to believe there is such a mom on Earth. Overall, I think this character, Gracie is a strong and determined girl, trying to break away from her mother's hands.
The plot is simple to follow and is suitable to most people, even young adults. There are some scenes that really funny, silly and sometimes out of the world. As I read the book, I can't help but to laugh and laugh. You can be rest assured that you are able to complete the whole novel under one sitting.
This book is a simple book to read with lots of surprises and twists. This book is great for teens, young adults, and even mature readers like myself. You'll definitely get lots of entertainment and enjoyment out of this novel.
If there's one thing I'd change about this book, it would be to be the cover. I would prefer the cover to have some cartoon illustration characters about Gracie, her mother or her cat. It will sure to attached leisure readers that wants a good afternoon. However, the overall story is a good read. Are you interested how the author crafted a good read, then you really must read this novel?
This book looked great on my Kindle Fire tablet. It has good formatting and layout.
If you found this review useful, let the community know.
Zhu Hsia is the author of The Elements (A YA Urban Fantasy) and The Third (An Urban Paranormal Romance Novel).
May 31, 2014
If you’re looking for a laugh out loud story filled with cringe-worthy mishaps then Grace Feldman’s Milk, Turkey, and Neurosis should be right up your alley. As a twenty-almost-thirty-something struggling for independence, success, and love, Grace must contend with an overbearing mother who often offers the world’s strangest advice. We follow Gracie as she endures one bad date after another, all in the name of not being single when she goes home for Thanksgiving with her mom. Anyone who has ever been on a bad date — blind or otherwise — knows they are no laughing matter, unless of course it is happening to someone else. But when those bad dates include a cross-dressing cop and an overweight wannabe swinger, you know you’re in for enough laughs to cause a belly ache.
My initial reaction to Gracie in Milk, Turkey, and Neurosis was to dislike her. I mean, her mother obviously has a ton of issues yet she’s going through an endless line of bad dates to find a guy her mother likes? But as I got to know Gracie, I understand that she just wants to shut her mother up. Grace Feldman employs many flashbacks so we get a pretty accurate picture of just how awful Gracie’s mom truly is. She has no filter, strange philosophies on life, and she is relentless about her misguided beliefs. When one has a mother like Gracie’s, the best course of action is to simply grin and bear it and try to minimize the damage.
Feldman packed this story with very memorable and somewhat quirky characters, including a lazy and dumb cat, a sometimes mean and sometimes nice coworker, and a new and improved old friend who just might be the one.
-Reviewed by Natasha Jackson for Readers' Favorite
My initial reaction to Gracie in Milk, Turkey, and Neurosis was to dislike her. I mean, her mother obviously has a ton of issues yet she’s going through an endless line of bad dates to find a guy her mother likes? But as I got to know Gracie, I understand that she just wants to shut her mother up. Grace Feldman employs many flashbacks so we get a pretty accurate picture of just how awful Gracie’s mom truly is. She has no filter, strange philosophies on life, and she is relentless about her misguided beliefs. When one has a mother like Gracie’s, the best course of action is to simply grin and bear it and try to minimize the damage.
Feldman packed this story with very memorable and somewhat quirky characters, including a lazy and dumb cat, a sometimes mean and sometimes nice coworker, and a new and improved old friend who just might be the one.
-Reviewed by Natasha Jackson for Readers' Favorite
March 16, 2014
Excuuuussssee Meeeeee! I'm trying to write this review but i can't stop laughing. This is a well written riotously funny book that will have you falling out of the chair. It is filled with surprises and gags and laughs. Comedy is probably the hardest thing to write. I rarely find my self laughing at so called comedy films and it's even less than that when I'm reading a book. But his book is funny. It will keep you laughing all throughout the read and beyond. The title is a hint as to what to expect. It is decent humor and most anyone can read and enjoy this book. Pick your copy up today or you're going to see me laughing at you for what you have missed. I give this book 5 stars
October 26, 2014
This book could have been written in a high school literature class. There are a lot of plot strands that you would think are going somewhere and then they just peter out. Gracie continues to put herself in dangerous situations that no one in South Florida (where I live) would not dream of doing. She also has her places mixed up and her timing as well, all that is not really important, but the writing is terrible. Best I can say is with a little work it may be a rom-com.
July 13, 2014
Horrible.
July 8, 2018
It reads more as short stories rather than a novel. Funny and easy read when you need a break from heavy reading material.
January 25, 2021
Not enough Turkey Milk.
July 20, 2024
Funny but pointless. There was no plot.
April 23, 2014
free book for honest review. juliesbookreview.blogspot.com
Gracie is a typical young woman looking for love. In today's time a lot of people have been going to the internet to try to find love. That is exactly what Gracie does. This is a story of Gracie going through the many ups and downs of dating life. That would be funny by itself but there's more. Gracie's mom has embarrassed her from when she is young to the present. She is forever worrying about what she is going to do next because she knows she will do something. Now with Thanksgiving approaching and her mother thinks she is dating someone new (a lie to stop a lecture). She now has to find a date for the big day. Date after date goes horrible wrong. With each date going badly, they also bring about memories of horrible dates as a teen. Here friends Jennifer and Herbie come along for the ride.
This is a fun ride through Gracie's dating life. The story is comical, full of trouble and turmoil. Her mother is hilarious but you feel the love she has of her daughter. The story is well written and it is great for a lite non-serious read. Life comes full circle and teaches some life lessons to Grace. Good comical story age appropriate for YA.
Julie
Gracie is a typical young woman looking for love. In today's time a lot of people have been going to the internet to try to find love. That is exactly what Gracie does. This is a story of Gracie going through the many ups and downs of dating life. That would be funny by itself but there's more. Gracie's mom has embarrassed her from when she is young to the present. She is forever worrying about what she is going to do next because she knows she will do something. Now with Thanksgiving approaching and her mother thinks she is dating someone new (a lie to stop a lecture). She now has to find a date for the big day. Date after date goes horrible wrong. With each date going badly, they also bring about memories of horrible dates as a teen. Here friends Jennifer and Herbie come along for the ride.
This is a fun ride through Gracie's dating life. The story is comical, full of trouble and turmoil. Her mother is hilarious but you feel the love she has of her daughter. The story is well written and it is great for a lite non-serious read. Life comes full circle and teaches some life lessons to Grace. Good comical story age appropriate for YA.
Julie
March 25, 2014
This book had me laughing by the first paragraph. If you have any ability to visualize at all, you'll find yourself laughing throughout. The main character, 28 year old Gracie, is cute, quirky, imaginative and fun. She's experiencing all the awkward adventures that go along with being a young single woman trying to start a career and find Mr. Right. That's hard enough to do without being constantly pushed by an overbearing but well meaning mother. Gracie's mom is a complete original and has a personality as big as Montana and as driven as Manhattan. I didn't know who to think was funnier, Gracie, her Jewish mother or her adorable fat cat, Morgott. I think this book is very appropriate for young adults. I liked that it's very current and typical of today's youth culture without being profane in any way, not that a few embarrassing and problematic things don't happen along the way. I enjoyed this read and I wasn't ready for it to end! I wanted one more chapter at least. Maybe there will be a sequel.
July 13, 2014
Kooky title, kooky cover, kookier book. I would recommend this book just for the cat alone! An obese cat entranced by its own shadow. Haha. I love it when pets have such vivid and wild and, (kooky?) personalities. Reminded me of the pet that Jennifer Aniston had in Along Came Polly. Was it a ferret? This is a very funny book, sort of reminded me of Bridget Jones' Diary with the calamitous dates and an overbearing mother. If you like those kinds of books and enjoy laughing out loud then this book is for you.
March 18, 2014
This book was extremely well-written. Aside from a few typos this book was a joy to read. It reminded me of Bridget Jones Diary with the eccentric mother and dating disasters. But it really stood alone as a well crafted and enjoyable story that was a delight to read. I can really see this book as a film, as the author paints clear visual descriptions throughout. Great work! I think we will see more good things from this talented writer!
July 14, 2014
Milk, Turkey, and Neurosis: or, How Mother (Almost) Ruined My Life by Grace Feldman is a hilarious book which I would highly recommend!
Charming and very witty, the author has done an excellent job with the writing of this book!
I borrowed this book from my daughter who found it fresh and exciting to read. I have to agree with her,a very outstanding read that everyone should enjoy!
Definite 5 star Read!
Charming and very witty, the author has done an excellent job with the writing of this book!
I borrowed this book from my daughter who found it fresh and exciting to read. I have to agree with her,a very outstanding read that everyone should enjoy!
Definite 5 star Read!
January 2, 2015
Thank you to Goodreads for the opportunity to read this book. It is a somewhat quirky book and I feel I now know Grace and her mother quite well A tip for reading this to make sure you read the chapter headings because a couple of times I got confused as to where the book was going and then realised I had skipped back to the past, rather than being in the present. I am glad your mother liked Herbie.
June 5, 2015
Oh my goodness! I finally found a book that could make me laugh! I absolutely loved it!
Gracie is determined to get a quick-fix boyfriend in time for Thanksgiving to get her mother off her back, but every date she has leads to a disaster of some kind, be it the man himself, her mother's way of "helping," or a circumstance that ruins it forever.
Recommendation: If you like humor, this one is a good one to read, and it's definitely a one-sitting read!
Gracie is determined to get a quick-fix boyfriend in time for Thanksgiving to get her mother off her back, but every date she has leads to a disaster of some kind, be it the man himself, her mother's way of "helping," or a circumstance that ruins it forever.
Recommendation: If you like humor, this one is a good one to read, and it's definitely a one-sitting read!
March 14, 2014
I was a bit thrown by the cover, but this book was amazingly funny!!! Not only did I like it because I, too, am from Ft. Lauderdale area and many of the places I knew, but the things that happen to this poor girl had me in stitches!!! Her mother is something out of this world. I also like the way the book was written. It was very easy to visualize. Great read..I really enjoyed it!!
March 16, 2014
This book had me laughing out loud! I love Morgott, the cat, and I could really relate with Gracie (not because of her crazy mom-- mine is wonderful) when so many things just don't go her way. I'm pretty sure I would have said or done the same as her if I were in some of the same embarrassing situations. This is a fun read to lift your spirits!
September 2, 2016
"Milk, Turkey, and Neurosis: or, How Mother (Almost) Ruined My Life" by Grace Feldman is a hilariously funny read.
Grace is a wonderful and inspired character for this comedy of misadventures but she meets a series of equally entertaining people. Highly inventive and original this book has a lot of tricks up its sleeve.
Highly recommended.
Grace is a wonderful and inspired character for this comedy of misadventures but she meets a series of equally entertaining people. Highly inventive and original this book has a lot of tricks up its sleeve.
Highly recommended.
July 27, 2014
This book was hilarious. I loved the cat, the mother, and the crazy stuff the main character went through in her life. I don't normally read women's fiction, but this was recommended by my wife and I really liked it.
March 17, 2014
This book was hilarious. It reminded me of Everybody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld rolls into one. It was a quick read, and I don't think I saw anything explicit or profanity in it. Definitely recommend it.
August 8, 2014
This was a perfect book crappy day. I started laughing from the beginning tell the end of the book. I hope this writer keeps writing funny books I love it. I recommend this to everyone. I won this book on Gooreads. Thank you
June 5, 2014
This was SO funny! I wish it was longer, because the misadventures of this poor girl are deliciously entertaining. Horrible as it may be, I relished in her misfortunes, and I can't wait to read the next one if there is one (please please please - write another one!)
June 6, 2014
My wife loved this book and she forced me to read it. I am definitely not a chick lit or romantic comedy fan, but this was like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. The mother is worse than Marie, though! This was really funny and I wouldn't mind watching a show or movie based on this book.
September 13, 2015
Thank you Gracie Feldman. This was such a laugh out loud kind of story and I loved Ms. Feldman's writing style. I recommend this book to anyone and everyone and I'm really looking forward to Grace's new novel coming out in November!!!!!
June 17, 2014
This was by far the funniest book I've ever read. I hope she writes a second one, because I want to know more about the mother, the cat, and Gracie's crazy adventures in dating. If you like to laugh, I definitely say start with this - it'll set a pretty high bar for any other humor you read.
July 12, 2014
This is an entertaining and very funny read. I enjoyed Grace’s adventures as she went on a series of miserable dates and met so many zany characters. And her relationship with her mother was just as entertaining. The author has written a story that would make an excellent TV sitcom.
July 14, 2014
A brilliant book for anyone who wants to laugh about family situations and get lost for some high quality reading hours.
The main character is simply hysterical and I loved every page of this lovely novel.
Highly recommended! 5 stars well deserved.
The main character is simply hysterical and I loved every page of this lovely novel.
Highly recommended! 5 stars well deserved.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews