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The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top
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The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top

3.35  ·  Rating details ·  671 ratings  ·  83 reviews
How many times have you and your friends asked one another these questions without ever coming up with any good answers? Your girlfriends just tell you what you want to hear. At the end of the day, the only person who can give you insight into man problems is—that’s right—a man! But guys have hidden agendas. What guy would give up all his dating advantages by spilling the ...more
Paperback, 304 pages
Published May 27th 2008 by Harmony (first published 2007)
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3.35  · 
Rating details
 ·  671 ratings  ·  83 reviews

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His take on the catcall viral video makes me want punch a dolphin. Some pro quotes:

"I'm more of an expert (on street harassment) than you because I know how guys think."

"You would not care (about street harassment) if all these guys were hot."

"There is nothing more that a woman wants to hear than how pretty she is."

It gets worse. Watch for yourself.

Denelle Swaim
Mar 01, 2013 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Did I say Twilight was the worst book I'd ever read? I've changed my mind.
Jul 28, 2011 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: annoying-garbage
This book was crap. It may give you insight into the mind of an 'asshole,' but that's about it.
I am kind of embarrassed that I liked this book, particularly since while I was reading it I was also reading the Body Myth which was all about not trying to be perfect and giving into the pervasive advertising culture that makes me value my appearance over all other aspects of the goddess that is I...but I gotta say, there was alotta truth ringing around this book.
So now I am experimenting and trying to follow this fool's advice while dating, which is basically:
be a bitch
then be nice
Jan 02, 2013 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book was a big fat face slap to men and women everywhere. The advice could not have been worse. Ladies, if you want some good dating advice, unless you want to know how to date a tool, you will need to look elsewhere. Guys, if you want to feel nauseated and pissed, read on. Wonder why I'm so angry? Read my book blog post at:
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jan 04, 2009 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
If you want to know how do date a guy and fulfill all of his needs, and make sure that he will never commit to this book.
OK, so I am giving 3 stars as the book actually contains some very useful information (don't jump to conclusions here, read further on) even though the title is misleading.
So the book is called:
The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--And What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top
but in my opinion a more appropriate title might be:
The Insight: A True Bad Boy Explains How Bad Men Think, Date, and Mate--And What Women Can Do to Avoid Them
For one - the author is wrong in asserti
Apr 11, 2010 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
This book was a load of crap. All these tips he gives to give to get us to be able to weed out the bad guys and find the good guys, or just to get a guy to notice us just didn't make sense. He says that he often uses another girl to help him get the girl hes interested in. If I see a guy with a girl, I'm not going to hit on him. For all I know she's his girlfriend. No point in starting a cat fight. He also talked about playing games and following rules, which just sounds like a recipe for disast ...more
This book started out ok, albeit shallow... I gues with a title like that you can't expect much more... What really threw me off though was that instead of perhaps peeling layers off and becoming more interesting, it became way way wayyyyy worse!

I was particularly offended by the section on women's jobs and how they should NOT talk about their job, and how to get out ot talking about their work - oh, and that women who talk about work won't have their phone ringing or something silly of the sor
Jul 28, 2009 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Does Steve really speak for every man? I feel like I'll be great at picking up and keeping Santagati...but what about everyone else?!
Any person with an emotional age above 17 will find it hard to take someone seriously that judges the length of a relationship by the length of their lover's pubic/ under-arm/ chest hair. At the same time - some credit should be given for good intentions: Steve seems to sincerely try to give women the heads-up on the secret character traits that unite all those born with a y-chromosome. It's hard to fault him for the fact that his bad-boy banter gets regularly in the way of serious contemplation ...more
Jul 25, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I thought this was an interesting, although not always inspiring look into a man's mind regarding the game of dating. The author gives some good insights into how men think, but he doesn't always offer women the solutions in a helpful mode of feminine understanding.

He's hypocritical. He expresses how important a woman's physical appearance is to men, which is understandable. However, he says initially that women only need to be well-groomed and natural to be sexy; then, he spends 4 chapters on
Jun 11, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: female friends
Recommended to Kerry by: self
Gives an insight on as to how a man thinks and acts with women. This has sure enlightened me with men. While it has put a different perspective on my views on men, after this read, I now know that many men do play games and expect the female to play along. It states how men are visual creatures and the woman truly does need to look her best, even at the grocery store. Even though the book sates to enjoy yourself, it seems there are still rules to go by and made me feel like I need to be on high ...more
Apr 04, 2010 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
The sole reason as to why this book caught my attention was to see what a guy would write about the male thought process.

I give this a flat-hand-with-twisting.

Sure, his point of view MAY be true to the males who have the same thought process as him. Men who claim "All men think the same" are mostly speaking about guys like them. He has some good points.

Good toilet reading.
Krista Martin
Nov 06, 2014 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Thanks for giving me this book, mom. My favorite part was possibly the advice to dress up & do my makeup & hair for work, because everyone (especially bosses!!1one!) appreciates the extra effort to look nice. And hey, maybe I'll snag myself a man!


Donated this at the last book drive. Only now do I realize I shouldn't have passed it along to some unsuspecting 25 cent bargain hunter.
Cassandra Sabako
Dear Women, if you want to learn how to self-objectify yourself, this is the book for you!

What made me give this book two stars, and what truly frightens me, is that the author is actually sincere. He thinks he's helping women when he's part of the problem.

It's actually really sad.

This book was recommended to me by an ex, and I can't wait to call him up and tell him what I think.
Nov 04, 2014 marked it as thanks-but-i-ll-pass  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: reviews-say-no
Just saw him on TV discussing the Viral Catcalling Video.

He says that women should just "suck it up" and deal since "he knows what women want and think more than women do."

Oct 05, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Read this while doing research for a character. Personally I always thought bad boys were a lot of work. Sure, they are fun and you can attract one by following Steve's advice, but keeping one for a long term relationship is not easy. And would mean playing games until you tire and he runs.
Mar 11, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
I want to give this book to a guy and see what he thinks about it.
Karina Sell
Well, What can I say? It wasnt a very helpful reading, as am still not having a clue what really goes through their f..... minds!!!
Oct 21, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I find that I've been reading a lot of dating and diet books lately, which might make me look slightly pathetic, but I don't seem to care. Anyway, this is probably my second-favorite dating book. The tone is hip without being depressingly uber-cool, so I could get into the advice without getting depressed about the state of the universe. Santagati's advice is refreshingly specific--instead of the usual "Love yourself and then you will find a mate" it's more "Wear skirts that cling to your butt a ...more
Eleanor Hopkins
Def not politically correct or kind. It is brutally honest. Reading this book gave me insight into how men behave and think in the dating world. I do feel more empowered by reading this book and better equipped to deal with the dating world in a very pragmatic way. Dating and romance is a game for most men - and just because we women don't like it won't change that fact. This book confirmed and clarified a lot of the past behavior in previous partners - even the nerdy so called good boys. Unders ...more
Aug 06, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read an excerpt of this book online somewhere, and I decided to give it a try when I found it avaliable at the library.

Ultimately, it's enlightening. It confirmed some things I already knew about men and their psyches, and listed new ones too.

Advice in this book is something to think about. Certain suggestions, I admit, I would never do unless I was extremely desperate - yes, from my point of view, certain suggestions were a bit extreme. (For example, I'm not going to get all dolled up to go
Nov 22, 2011 rated it it was ok
The real question is, how much of this book is helpful to girls and how much is meant to groom his next perfect fling-chick? Some good points (ie, if he's a jerk, drop him; these are signs of a jerk), and some good glimpses into male reasoning, but makes the assumption (among others) that what you're after is a series of flings, that causal sex is always on the table, and that you want to spend a great part of your energy in a relationship on manipulation. It's an OK book, and an ok manual if th ...more
Dec 28, 2007 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: single women out there
yes, i too can't believe i'm reading this book. my mom bought it for me and my sis a few years ago. i was already in a committed relationship so i was NOT interested. well, now that i'm back to being alone i figured why not? after i move on from mike's passing i know i have to put myself back out in that scary dating world. this tip is giving me a lot of pointers, things to consider, and what goes on in a guys mind when they first met someone.

it's actually pretty funny so i suggest you single l
Sep 05, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
OK, I read this as part of the "Man Plan". Within the first few chapters, the author has a quiz to prove women love bad boys whether they want to believe this or not. I took the quiz. I do not love bad boys. I love the "boring" nice boys. It was an OK book. Some things were frustrating because I knew they were true, others were because it just seemed so juvenile. Honestly, I don't know that it'll help with the almost defunct "man plan", but we'll see.
Nov 27, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Honestly I got this at the library five years ago on a whim. I took the whole thing with a grain of salt and just enjoyed reading it. He's funny and for better or worse honest. I don't think you should take it so seriously--one look at the first couple pages and you get a pretty good idea of what it's going to be like...put down the book and get another...

not to mention. he hardly seems like a bad boy as much as he seems like a douche.
Oct 18, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Honestly? Very helpful. I gained a lot of understanding after reading this. I finally get why many of the men in my life acted the way they did. There is some contradictory advice, but the other reviewers are missing the point. He's saying it's best to be a bit contradictory. I think some women are being a little too sensitive about this book. Some of it's a little ugly, but I like having the other teams playbook. Try to go into it with an open mind, ladies.
Oct 10, 2008 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
A friend gave this to me after yet another break up. But what I realized is that I really don't want a "bad boy" so this manual doesn't really help me in my situation. My "bad boy" brother did think it was pretty accurate in some places. The part I really didn't like was the "relationship expiration dates" - Steve claims that men know how long they will stick aroudn right from the beginning. Wish I was given that information upfront.
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