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It’s Not Me, It’s You

3.84  ·  Rating details ·  13,152 ratings  ·  1,219 reviews
Delia Moss isn’t quite sure where she went wrong.

When she proposed and discovered her boyfriend was sleeping with someone else – she thought it was her fault.

When she realised life would never be the same again – she thought it was her fault.

And when he wanted her back like nothing had changed – Delia started to wonder if perhaps she was not to blame…

From Newcastle to Lond
Hardcover, 544 pages
Published November 6th 2014 by Harper (first published 2014)
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Average rating 3.84  · 
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 ·  13,152 ratings  ·  1,219 reviews

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Susan's Reviews
Oct 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Great story, wonderful characters.

Delia has to rebuild her life when she discovers her live-in boyfriend has cheated on her. She takes off for London, leaving everyone behind, to spend time with her Bestie and get over her heartbreak - and maybe reinvent herself.

Delia is an aspiring comic book creator. She's never been published, but like the superhero character in her comic book, Delia is now ready to try anything to push forward with her life. But her new life in London gets complicated: Del
Helene Jeppesen
Jun 05, 2015 rated it liked it
Nice and cute story about Delia who goes through some heart-breaking events in life and is forced to change direction and make some choices. I wouldn't say that this novel was absolutely mind-blowing, but it was definitely interesting, relaxing and at times quite funny. I was expecting a chick-lit novel, and that was exactly what I got.
"It's Not Me, It's You" did become quite predictable, especially towards the end, and it wasn't as hilarious as I had heard it would be. Still, I loved how this
Okay, so, me giving a Mhairi McFarlane book ALL THE STARS is getting boring and commonplace, I know. But I wouldn't even want to buck the trend if I could. These books are such a high point, things to look forward to with indecent impatience, the Christmas dinner of my reading year.

What was unexpected was 'It's Not Me, It's You' taking over as my favourite Mhairi read (putting it up there in my Top Reads Ever). I always love a Mhairi heroine and wish she was my best friend but Delia was just to
Elisabeth Plimpton
A quirky and strange, but fun read with charming characters.

Delia finds herself at a breaking point in life. She gets fired from her job and proposes to her boyfriend of ten years only to find he is cheating on her with a younger woman. Delia is an aspiring artist who creates comics. She decides to move to London with her best friend, all the while debating whether to go back to her boyfriend.

Delia soon finds herself working for a sketchy PR firm in London. She meets Adam who is a journalist a
Apr 25, 2015 rated it it was ok
There are books you read because they widen your horizons or make you think of things in a new light. Then, there are books you read because you want something dependable--you know how things are going to turn out and that's just a-okay. It's Not Me, It's You definitely falls into the latter group.

The basis of this book is not unusual: Young woman's life is turned upside down (by a cheatin' boyfriend, of course) and heads off to the big city where her world is opened up and she realizes her own
ReadAlongWithSue [Catching-Up]
This flows along excellently with plenty of dialogue. It’s a fun light read which I’ve needed over the past couple of days.
It’s smart, it’s funny and it’s very touching.

I read this in paperback format from the haul I have on my shelf.
Book Addict Shaun
Oct 30, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2014
This was my first read from Mhairi McFarlane but I was very excited given how highly fellow bloggers speak of her work. I wasn't therefore put off the the book's 500+ pages. A book of that length has to be really good for me to invest my time, and actually time just flew by as I was reading this book, so engrossed was I in the world and characters that McFarlane has created.

It's always a sign that you are onto a winner when you are laughing from the very first page. Very rarely does a book make
h o l l i s
At the onset of writing this review I was still hmm'ing and haw'ing over my rating for this one (but by the time you see if it'll have a nice shiny star value up above) because sadly I'm still comparing everything to DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME. This had a similar ish vibe to McFarlane's latest, IF I NEVER MET YOU, in regards to where our leading lady finds herself relationship-wise at the beginning of the book but things spiral out much differently and I appreciated that.

"Compared to the usual id
Jacob Proffitt
I think I may be a fan of Mhairi McFarlane. But that's in spite of this book. While I liked Delia well-enough, I hated how weak she was and that she'd even consider getting back with the cheating weasel Paul. Cheating is a hard-no for me and while I can see getting past it given sincere regret and the right circumstances, this was very much not it. Paul lied. Constantly. Worse, Delia kept catching him in his lies so getting wobbly on the whole "will I go back?" just felt stupid.

So that I kept th
I've become accustomed to McFarlane's leisurely, meandering stories of a heroine's journey at a pivotal moment in her life, and It's Not Me, It's You is the classic, winding women's fiction/romance I now expect from this gem of an author. I mostly loved every minute of it, except for a few nail biting parts when Delia detours from the right choice to the clearly wrong one. The wrong choice moments in the book are downright harrowing, even though I understand the likelihood (i.e. "realism") of sc ...more
Sam (AMNReader)
Jan 12, 2020 rated it it was amazing
When an author can make you hold a 500+ page print book well after the time it's usually lights out (though I'd still be reading typically), makes you laugh out loud more than once, and presents a complicated scenario that shows a human side to cheating and manages to still convey the complexity long term relationships, it's a 5 right?

Well at least a 4, but it's a 5 bc I love a Batman hero.
Claire Reads Books
I honestly don’t know how to rate Mhairi McFarlane’s books anymore – but I continue to inhale them one after the other, so I guess that merits a 4 ⭐️

Hilariously, this book has almost the EXACT SAME plot as the last Mhairi McFarlane book I read, If I Never Met You, following a 30-something heroine after her 10+ year relationship has imploded due to cheating. This iteration of that template was published 6 years before If I Never Met You and is a little rougher around the edges, but in a way that
Jun 14, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
4.5 stars - Incredible. I really loved it.

While trudging through a 1000+ page novel by Dickens, I wanted something light and entertaining to read on the side. My trusted GR reviewers had raved about this one, and they were absolutely correct. It delivered and easily exceeded expectations.

It starts off running when the main character, Delia, finds out her life-mate of 10 years has been having an affair. From there the author takes you on a delightful, heartfelt journey that travels though all ki
Mar 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I'm officially obsessed with this author. She's also kind of on shit list because, a) I've stayed awake until 2am two nights running - and on busy work week - because I was completely unwilling to leave the world inside of this book (her fault) and, b) the Parsnip incident*. Hard. Fucking. Limit.

So anyway, thanks to the sleep deprivation, my eyes are now like pissholes in the snow and I've drifted into that strange, dreamlike state where I can't always be sure whether I'm awake or napping, but i
Sep 06, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Mhairi McFarlane is simply incapable of writing a book I don´t love. This one was a bit slow in the beginning but I still enjoyed it.
Apr 30, 2015 rated it really liked it
This review can originally be found on Olivia's Catastrophe:

As soon as I saw this book on Edelweiss I had to request it! I had read You Had Me At Hello a while ago and absolutely loved it. Ever since then I discovered that this book was to be published the next year (this year) and I was anticipating it for SO long. And then finally I had it! I was a bit surprised that this chick-lit book was about 600 pages. What could possibly go on in this novel that n
Nov 09, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2014
This was a very good Chick Lit book. The only problems I had with it was that it was a little bit too long and something that happened near the end of the book that left me wanting to smack Delia in the face and push her in front of a cab.
Shelleyrae at Book'd Out

Witty, charming and a little bittersweet, I really enjoyed It's Not Me, It's You, Mhairi McFarlane's third novel.

Delia Moss brushes aside the lacklustre response from her partner of ten years when she proposes, after all he said 'yes' and that was all she wanted to hear. What she can't ignore is the text Paul erroneously sends to her minutes later;
'C...She's proposed. Don't know what to do. Meet tomorrow? Pxx'
C, Delia discovers, is Celine, a twenty four year old student with whom Paul has been
*The Angry Reader*
Feb 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2019
I’m not sure why I love this author. It’s inexplicable. But it doesn’t matter. I am nuts for her long winding stories with blurry hero/bad guys and lots of drinking and bad decisions and incredible humor. I truly don’t want to read anything else.

I think this one was a little darker and sadder than the others. I still think maybe the first one was my favorite. But maybe this one was. I like the awful zany things and weird plots and fabulous supporting cast.

I cannot wait for the next one.

4 Stars!

What a whirlwind of emotions this felt like for me. It felt so relatable in some senses and it also felt empowering. If I'd of read this a few months ago I feel like it would helped me so much. Seeing Delia grow as a person and come into her own really was my favourite part of this book. Her friendships/relationships that she made and just her overall strength. Some parts I have to admit I questioned her decisions HOWEVER upon reflection it makes sense and it helps to wrap up certain sit
Raven Haired Girl
Jun 01, 2015 added it
Shelves: 2015
A great beach read with a sweet heroine warming your heart. You will cheer Delia on as she finds her way through heartbreak and discovers much about herself.

Great cast of characters, all wearing their hearts and emotions on their sleeves. You become very familiar with each one adding to the full spectrum of the narrative. Likable cast given their questionable choices and missteps. You find yourself struggling and hurting along with healing as Delia and Paul attempt to recover. Delia’s heartbreak
On the Same Page
Oct 03, 2020 rated it it was ok
Shelves: adult, 2020, romance
I've had a chance to give this some more thought and although I was gonna say it's a 2.5, I think it's actually firmly in the 2 zone.

SPOILER ALERT: this review will contain info on who she ends up with.

Let's start with what I liked.
There was some humor in the book and witty dialogue. This is what usually draws me to books by British authors.

I liked how some of the characters were written, like Emma and Paul. Paul to me was a very real character that you can hate and sympathize with at the sam
Well that one was like a ride in the washing machine, on spin.

How ironic: Delia the 'resident sleuth’, who hadn’t noticed her other half had another life.

I can write this review having read all of Mhairi’s books (YAY). It’s Not Me It’s You was a little bit: If I Never Met You and Who’s That Girl. There are always notes of her other stories in her books, because she has a certain style. They do not however, ever feel regurgitated, just like safe reading.

The first 40% of this fell short for me,
Sara Strand
May 20, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was EASILY the best book for me to read while holding Penelope for hours so she would sleep. It clocks in at 531 pages, so a bit longer than I usually enjoy, but it was so good. I don't even know where to start with the review to fully convince you to purchase this baby, but I'm going to try.

The story is about Delia, who has been with her boyfriend Paul for years. She has gotten tired of waiting for a proposal from him so she decides to buck tradition and ask him to marry her. She's got th
Jessica (Jess Hearts Books)
4.5 stars

Delia Moss lives a very ordinary life and she’s quite content with her lot. She lives with her long term boyfriend (soon to be fiancée when Delia pops the question) and their scruffy rescue dog and has a job that she neither loves nor hates so who is she to complain?

When Delia finds out on the night she proposes that Paul has been having an affair she’s pushed to take a leap into the unknown and start afresh in London. It’s there that Delia takes a good hard look at her choices and real
Jul 01, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Absolutely superb. I picked this book up this morning and haven't been able to put it down. Sharp witty dialogue that you have come to expect from this author.
The heroine Delia was a joy to read about. This book starts off in Newcastle and I love the Geordies, great sense of humour. It's quite a long book but by no means did it drag in fact my time flew by today reading it.
What would you do after ten wonderful years with your partner, you plan to propose to then find out he's not the man you tho
Nov 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was quite a long story. But a nice one!

It's about Delia Moss from Newcastle, who proposes to her boyfriend Paul. Being together for ten years, Delia is sure that Paul is The One, but when she pops the question he seems a bit less enthusiastic than she was hoping for. Shortly after she receives a text message from Paul, which was obviously meant for another woman...
The next thing she knows, Delia flees to London to live with her best friend Emma for a while. But her life in the big city isn'
Jan 08, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Perhaps this is my American Anglophilia at play, but I find the Brits often nail the chick lit genre. This one certainly hit the high notes: smart, funny, with a protagonist who is likeable and human enough to make some mistakes.

Delia Moss has a long-term loving relationship with her boyfriend, Paul. She isn't crazy about her job in the office of the Newcastle city councilors' office, but she is content and ready to take her personal life to the next level. After a heartbreaking betrayal, she le
Michelle Sallay
Nov 30, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: own, favorites
Originally on my blog:

How delightful are the characters in Mhairi McFarlane's books? I can't even tell you. Three books now and I have been delighted by all of her characters. Her writing style in this book is the same as in her previous two. She writes a TON of little asides that go way over my head. However, her characters shine and make me want to read and read and read and then cry when there is no more to read.

Thank you Edelweiss for the review copy.
Laura (Kyahgirl)
2 stars, ‘ok’, rather than 3 stars ‘I liked it’.

This rating is because there was a lot of inconsistency in the main character Delia. I liked many things about this book but really didn’t buy how spineless Delia was with respect to Paul and Kurt. She was intelligent and competent but couldn’t see past her boyfriend’s duplicity and let herself be badly used by her new boss in London. When she went to work in London, I kept waiting for her to find another job and couldn’t believe the book was going
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Mhairi was born in Scotland in 1976 and her unnecessarily confusing name is pronounced Vah-Ree.

After some efforts at journalism, she started writing novels. It’s Not Me, It’s You is her third book. She lives in Nottingham, with a man and a cat.

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