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The New Dad Dictionary: Everything He Really Needs to Know - from A to Z

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Chris Illuminati shares everything new dads really need to know, including parenting techniques and theories, all on Dad's terms!

Are you ready for cluster feedings and cradle cap? How about meconium and jaundice? With The New Dad Dictionary , you no longer have to page through parenting tomes to understand what everyone is talking about.

From engorgement to independent play, author Chris Illuminati offers a crash course in today's parenting language, guiding you through the foreign territory of doctor visits, magazines, and conversations with Mom. Featuring hundreds of real-life explanations for popular words and phrases, each entry not only translates these textbook terms into plain English, but also teaches you what changes to expect from your baby—and Mom—during this time.

So stop banging your head against the wall and discover everything you need to know about raising your child with The New Dad Dictionary !

224 pages, Hardcover

First published April 3, 2015

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About the author

Chris Illuminati

9 books16 followers
Chris Illuminati --yes, that's his real name, so let's get it out of the way now and move on-- is an author, a blogger, a stand-up comic and a pop culture commentator.

He is the former editor of a men's lifestyle site. He is also a stand-up comic who has taken the stage and performed at Gotham Comedy Club, The Stand and New York Comedy Club. One of his tweets was christened as one of the funniest jokes of 2013 by The New York Post, which is better than being in paper for, say, doing something really dumb, offensive, or that comes with any sort of jail time, right?

If the New York Post editorial staff "gets" him and his humor, chances are you will, too.

Illuminati isn't afraid to put it all out there and let it all hang out, with the "it" being his personal experience. Whether it's the digital space or on stage during his act, he is comfortable mining his personal life and real life as he knows as source material for his work.

As an author, Illuminati has published several books, including Assholeology: The Science of Getting Your Way And Getting Away With It (2010) with two co-authors; Assholeology: The Cheat Sheet (2011); and Thank You for Not Laughing (2012). The former works are a guidebooks and a field guide about the art of being, well, an ass, and the latter is a collection of notes from his personal journals.

His next book -- The New Dad Dictionary: Everything He Really Needs to Know - from A to Z -- will be published in April, 2015.

As a blogger, pop culture commentator, and writer whose words often live on the glorious w-w-w, Illuminati's work has appeared in a variety of sources and in front of millions of eyeballs, among them BroBible, AskMen, Men's Health, Cosmo, Nerve, Maxim, Uproxx, Huffington Post, Guyism, The Good Man Project and Penthouse.

But wait. That's not all.

Illuminati muses on his role, responsibilities, and unique experiences as a parent who is essentially learning on the job in his hilarious yet poignant A Message With a Bottle website, which pulls in over 200,000 new visitors each month and even raked in a whopping 2.3 million views in June 2014.

In addition to writing about life -but not in a reality TV kinda way, of course- Illuminati has also published several works of fiction that have appeared in online literary journals.

Essentially, Chris Illuminati has a lot to say about a lot of topics, like most of us, but he does so with humor, informed opinion, and with a grasp on what's happening in pop culture, running it through a personal filter. That combination makes most of what he writes and says relatable and able to elicit a chuckle more often than not.

And yes, it's his real name.

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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
Profile Image for 安娜.
195 reviews
August 7, 2022
I’m a soon to be new mom, reading this to make sure I’m not missing anything and also to see if my partner needs to read this book.

…so…this man is SO funny!!! (Not at all, it’s that easy American humor that’s so so simple). He writes the definition and then a dadfinition. Indeed, this is a simple man, writing easy to understand definitions.

What I liked about this book is that it goes over clusters of concepts that ARE needed on pregnancy, postpartum and childrearing. Even if you have a vague idea of what these concepts mean, you will benefit from reading the definitions. What I didn’t like is the humor because it just wasn’t my cup of tea. It’s a quick read and you will go quickly through all the concepts.

I’d recommend this book to anyone who is clueless on the subject or to anyone who, like me, needs to brush up on some unfamiliar concepts. I most likely will NOT recommend this book to my partner, though. I doubt he’ll stomach the American humor or the sports references in the dad definitions.

Another book by the same author was reviewed as an incel production. I think its safe to say the same for this book. It really does try too hard to crack jokes and does very little to hide what a lazy jerk the author is. (Suggesting dads get anesthesia because of how much they are suffering in hospital after birth? Really?)

In fact, the entire book reeks of male chauvinism. He goes so far as to label “nesting” as an activity done out of boredom, argues women won’t push back against man crap in their “tired, delusional days of caring for the baby”. He’s also cheap. At first I felt for his wife. Now I wonder why this woman hasn’t run away from him and left him alone with his stupid, cheap, chauvinistic jokes.

I do need to underline, though, that the only segment where the jokes stop and clear instructions are given is in the PPD section. He really underlines the importance of getting professional care and caring for the woman’s life. I find this very commendable, as many women are unable to realize the deep dark hole they are falling through and society still blames them for not being always happy after becoming moms. I believe all moms should be given a card with access to a suicide and PPD therapy emergency hotline.
Profile Image for Bojan.
123 reviews
July 12, 2021
Magnificent! Great advices for the future dads :)
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews

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