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272 pages, Hardcover
First published March 1, 2015
How did I get this way? Or a better question: why have I let myself grow to over 300 pounds? Simply put: Now I'm invisible. Funny isn't it? The more I weigh, the less people ride me about it.
I have friends. Tons, actually. Over the past four years, I have accumulated a massive number of online friends. I’m not lonely, far from it. Tonight, I’m looking at pictures from my online friend Lucy’s seventeenth birthday party. Lucy lives to have fun. She loves guys and girls who party. She smokes Malboro Lights and weed, and stays out late, even on school nights. The only reason she gets online at all is because she’s so frienzied after a night of partying that she can’t calm down. In real life, a girl like her and me would neve coexist.
The more he stares, the more determined I become to prove him wrong. Yes, I’m at a Finch baseball meeting, I want to yell. My little bastard of a brother says he’ll teach me to throw this macical knuckleball that will help me pitch the first perfect game in school history. Even though I’m determined, I feel stupid and out of place.
“God damn it, Biggie, talk!”
“I don’t want to be call Biggie anymore.”
“You want something in life, you have to earn it. You don’t want me, Maddux, your teammates to call you Biggie, then you have to earn it.”
He reaches forward, grabs the Mountain Dew, and gets out of the truck. I drop my head against the steering wheel like I might yank it out and grind my teeth, a thought boils inside me and I lean back and scream at the top of my lungs.
“God damn it, Mom. Why did you rip up that note?”