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Inkker Hauser Part 1: Rum Hijack

4.55  ·  Rating details ·  11 ratings  ·  10 reviews
One day he will write the masterpiece that renders critics speechless and seats him on the throne of literary infamy.

It’s inside him…somewhere.

In the meantime, between going from one failed relationship to the next, he sits in his dead grandfather’s flat watching videos of nautical disasters, scorning bestselling ebook writers and searching for his elusive muse.

One day
Kindle Edition, 76 pages
Published September 9th 2014
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E.L. Lindley
Feb 15, 2015 rated it it was amazing
If you like stories told in the tradition of Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, then you will love Inkker Hauser Part 1: Rum Hijack. We get to know Phil Conquest’s nameless protagonist through a first person stream of consciousness and his random collisions with other characters. Essentially, our hapless narrator is a literary legend in his own mind, despite the fact that he hasn’t actually written anything and is crippled by writer’s block.

This story is so much more than that
Cathy Ryan
Apr 12, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fiction
Beginning with the violent demise of his computer by his own hand, or rather hammer, the unconventional and strange narrator drew me in almost immediately. He is a man of repetitive behaviours, habitual visits to the same few places and routinely eating the same food (potatoes and coleslaw for three weeks.) His extreme frustration at the lack of inspiration and the belief he is a literary genius, destined to write a masterpiece if only he could get past the dreaded writer’s block, jumps off the ...more
Lord David Prosser
Sep 21, 2014 rated it really liked it
If you're really looking for dark humour in your reading I recommend you take a strong torch with you on this journey. The only light that fights it's way through is very faint indeed.
The hero of this tale gives every indication of being bi-polar. You can read your way through incredible highs when he certainly believes the story of a lifetime is about to gush out from his fingertips as they hover over a typewriter, and the tremendous lows when he finds the paper is blank and his deceased grand
Georgia Rose
Sep 13, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I do enjoy stories told in the first person, I like getting right inside a character, being privy to all their thoughts and emotions and those of the unnamed narrator of this tale are extraordinary. Our protagonist believes himself to be the all conquering author of a masterpiece of literary magnificence. The only problem being that he hasn’t written one word of it...yet. He lives an eccentric lifestyle in his flat and tries to channel his Grandfathers spirit as if believing this will funnel som ...more
Sep 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This short memoir has only 76 pages but those pages are well used. We are led by a nameless narrator through his days as a writer-in-waiting as he goes between jubilantly believing he is the greatest writer yet to be found and smashing up various items he owns which have offended him in some way. This character certainly has some personality problems and has some extreme ways of expressing himself but he isn’t the first person to feel like smashing up a computer…I have similar ideas every time W ...more
Rosie Amber
Oct 24, 2014 rated it really liked it
Inkker Hauser Part 1: Rum Hijack is a short book, just 76 pages, it's very well written around a tale full of dark humour. The protagonist is an obsessive depressive wannabe author and the tale is the first book in a series. Years ago I tried reading "How To Be Good" by Nick Hornby and this book made me think of some of David's behaviour from that book.

Living in a flat with nine TV's, a fish, an emergency potato and a large quantity of alcohol our man tries desperately to climb over the wall of
Brenda Perlin
Feb 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Inkker Hauser: Part 1: Rum Hijack by Phil Conquest is a laugh out loud, quick witted, sarcastic, smooth look on the life of a guy who is a frustrated literary genius, at least he is in his minds eye. A reclusive with a touch of writers block and who knows what else?

Crisp and cunning, this story is razor sharp. Quirky and dark at the same time. Stirred my interest and lured me in with the clever wordage and unusual storyline.

The adventures or more appropriately, the misadventures of Inkker Hauser
Olga Miret
May 21, 2020 rated it really liked it
A writer for writers of discerning taste I write this review as a member of Rosie’s Book Review Team (authors, if you are looking for reviews, check here), and I freely chose to review an ARC copy of this novel. It came highly recommended, and it’s one of those books that I’m sure won’t leave anybody indifferent.
This is not a book heavy on plot. It is a novel narrated in the first person by a would-be writer stuck in writers’ block and seemingly unable to unleash the immense and unique talent fo
Terry Tyler
Sep 11, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I've just re-read this - so good I read it twice!

The nameless narrator of this short memoir is one of the most memorable fictional characters I've come across in ages: a delusional, borderline insane young man who is convinced he's a literary genius though he has written nothing at all. He talks of his 'writers' block' throughout, and pities his hard drinking grandfather for not having the talent or tenacity to write his much talked about wartime memoirs, never seeing that he is talking about hi
Dec 01, 2014 rated it really liked it
To say that the narrator of this story is unreliable would be an understatement.
One minute he is pumped up with delusional beliefs about his own writing genius, the next he veers into the depths of depression and fury on discovering that yet again the paper is blank.

The protagonist’s contempt for the human race (especially other writers) together with his desperate insecurity and violent rages are not a pleasant combination. Yet somehow Mr Conquest nevertheless manages to pull off the unlikely
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Originally from the UK I now live in the US.

Part 1 of my serialized novel, Inkker Hauser, is out now ('Rum Hijack') and is to be followed in November by 'Part 2: Literastein'. The series runs to four parts, the last of which is scheduled for release in April 2015. Another unrelated novel is planned for release, in full, in autumn of the same year.

Inkker Hauser is a darkly comic story about a heavy

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