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A Long Spoon

(Johannes Cabal #4.5)

4.44  ·  Rating details ·  1,072 ratings  ·  90 reviews
You may have heard of Johannes Cabal; he is a necromancer and a little infamous. He is also very sensitive to attempts on his life. When a murder of crows tries to... well, murder him, and the contents of his bath are transmuted into hot nitric acid, he suspects someone may mean him harm. The trail leads to one of the less travelled parts of Hell itself, and there Cabal ...more
ebook, 32 pages
Published December 17th 2014 by Tor Books
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Lea Just saw this -- you've probably already bought and read this one! For anyone else interested -- yes, it's available on Kindle now. :)

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Average rating 4.44  · 
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 ·  1,072 ratings  ·  90 reviews

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Jan 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to carol. by: Jonathan L. Howard
When the giant spider devil appeared in The Fall of the House of Cabal, it wasn't long before I was giggling. How can you not at a devil who uses the 'Girl Guide' oath to 'dub' clauses on her swearing the traditional binding oaths? When one of Howard's less sarcastic footnotes pointed me toward the novelette where she first made the acquaintance of Johannes, I had to stop and find the original, particularly after it referenced Cabal turning into a haddock.

A Long Spoon employs the classic set-up
Mia (Parentheses Enthusiast)
A Long Spoon: in which Cabal makes acquaintance with a spider devil, examines a fish cake, and descends back into Hell for matters of academic curiosity.

Honestly, though, this was incredibly fun. Everybody's favourite necromancer is back, and this time Johannes Cabal sets out to confront a centuries-old Chinese sorcerer in Hell after several attempts made on his life, the more noteworthy of which include a particularly murderous murder of crows and a bath that is much too hot for its own good.
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
My Wonderfully Heartless and Delightfully Stuck Up Boyfriend (WHaDSUBB) Jojo Cabal and a Super Extra Ass Kicking Hilarious Spider-Woman Devil (SEAKHSWD) walk into Pandæmonium...most gleeful chaos and hellish merriment ensue. And so I dance. (In quite the graceful way, if I may say so myself.)

Semi-full review to come. If I ever find the time in between slaughtering puny tourists and stuff.

· Book 0.5: Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day
· Book 0.75: Exeunt Demon King
· Book 1: The Necromancer
ᴥ Irena ᴥ
And here I thought a Johannes Cabal story can't get any crazier. It's like the author accepted the challenge.
Someone is trying to kill Johannes Cabal and while that isn't unusual, the most likely suspect is. He realizes he has to go to the furthest parts of Hell, the Abyss that even Satan leaves alone, and find his answers there.
He even summons a guide. I love Zarenyia (the devil, not a demon, just to be clear). I hope this won't be the last time we see her.
"Are you trying to bind me? You are,
Apr 23, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This was delightful:) The plot itself was boring but the banter between the leads... marvelous. Hope we get to see Zarenyia again.
Apr 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites, shorts
I loved this one. The perfect blend of humor, and darkness. The writing if beautiful, and suits the characters so well. I loved the banter between the characters. I hadn't read any of the book this story came from, but it gave me enough of a feeling for the characters that I didn't feel lost or confused. I knew when I found myself requesting the first book of the series before I was a quarter way done with this story that this was probably going to end up a five star read. The ending definitely ...more
Peter Tillman
All the stars, and more! As much fun as one can have--clothing optional. And it's keeping me up far too late. But all in a good cause! And he is ever so quotable . . . .
“Why would you use a long spoon when supping with a devil?”

“It’s a metaphor. It simply means one should be cautious.”

“I know it’s a metaphor, darling. I’m not a complete nincompoop. I don’t understand it, though. Why are you feeding the devil?”

Oh, this is SO much better than that grossly over-rated Adams fellow, may he RIP.
Jess ❈Harbinger of Blood-Soaked Rainbows❈

h is for Howard.
You will forgive me, but one should use a long spoon when one sups with a devil.

This little novelette was simply a delight to read. I love the way this author writes his characters. I was interested from the first sentence to the last.

I didn't know until after I read it that this is part of Howard's Necromancer series featuring the protagonist Johannes Cabal, who coincidentally is a necromancer. And also German.

I adored the character of Cabal. He is witty and dynamic and
I should have probably read this between 4th and 5th book like it was meant to since when Zerenyia was first introduced in 5th book it was obvious there was history between her and Cabal. Nevertheless I loved this short story and it was good to discover how our necromancer of some little infamy and my favorite side character in the series have met.
Sep 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Perhaps the most fun you can have in the very depths of hell!
Sep 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantasy
Ohhhhh my. What a laugh that was. I don't think I have ever been as amused by a short story as that one.
Our friend Johannes calls forth a devil who is a spider and she is absolutely fantastic, she's also a trifle saucy being a succubine. But I won't give anything else away, other than to say, the dialogue between a saucy spider lady ( I can't help but see her as The Stalk in Saga) and dry as a bone Johannes is absolutely delightful.

Cabal paused on a step and looked back at her. "Against all
Dec 18, 2014 rated it really liked it
Really fun short-story about a necromancer who summons a devil to assist him in some research. But the devil he summons is a she-devil with a cute red bob and a luscious human upper-body attached to the lower body of a spider. Her name is Zarenyia and she is ready to have a good time (and a few light snacks)!
This was a wonderful story filled with great banter. It fit my mood perfectly!
Eon ♒Windrunner♒
Jan 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Wicked and fun, this short story about a necromancer on a mission and the devil helping him hits all the right notes. Really loved the authors style and can't wait to read more of his work.
Feb 15, 2015 rated it liked it
In general, I love the Cabal books -- the author can't write fast enough, IMO. So I was very excited last fall to see that there was a new story coming out to tide me over till there's another book.

So . . . In terms of having something Cabal, ANY Cabal to read, this fits the bill. My issue with the last book, The Brothers Cabal, was that there wasn't enough Johannes in it. This story is all Johannes, and has a seductive spider devil thrown in -- full disclosure, a spider devil would be one of
Jan 09, 2015 rated it really liked it
"Cabal rose and walked to the edge of the circle. “And what would you want?”

The devil looked off into the middle distance in deep thought, her expression that of a child formulating a letter to Father Christmas. “Well,” she said after some moments of consideration, “I haven’t been summoned in a very long time, and I’m bored. Whatever you want me to do, it had better be interesting. Also, it would be lovely to kill a few people. So . . . yes, those are my demands: murder and fun.”

Cabal looked up
Nov 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Definitely a favorite of mine

What a great short story! Johannes Cabal, our favorite necromancer is taking a secret side trip to hell to confront a Chinese sorcerer who is trying to kill him. To do this he enlists the aid of a spider devil (not demon) who is a delightful character and I hope will show up again in future novels.

The writing is witty and filled with memorable bon mitts. I chuckled throughout at the interchanges. I also commend the fabulous and appropriate cover art. Just wonderful!
Sara J. (kefuwa)
Jan 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantasy
Well that was a fun read! Makes me want to get the Johannes Cabal books (promptly googled to find that out after finishing this short story). Huhu.
Oct 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing
The best of the short stories, imo. Great fun all around! I do hope Zareniya shows up again!
Jun 16, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: mad-science
I love Johannes Cabal, and read as much as I possibly can about him. This was a good story, but it was by no means the best. Still, it was a fun, quick read, with some sexual humor. Not bad. If you have not read the Johannes Cabal stories yet, I suggest starting with either the first book: The Necromancer or the first short story: Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day. This is better for when you're an old Cabal veteran, since there is not as much character development, and the story seems to ...more
Jan 03, 2016 rated it really liked it
Three and a half stars, really. The story is fairly minimal, and I wasn't impressed by the villain, but Johannes is wonderfully practical, and Zarenyia is fun, and their conversations made me laugh. Some Douglas Adams moments in this one.
Αταλάντη Ευριπίδου
I think this was the best Cabal short story I've read so far; it was smart, the humour was great and Zarenyia was a brilliant character.
Jul 27, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: humour, adventure, fantasy
3.5 stars. More fun in Hell with my favourite necromancer and his companion arachno-succubus.
Kay Smith
Jan 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This short story DID NOT. I repeat, did not—feel like a short story. It reads like a standalone, full length novel. And the majesty of that, frankly, astounds me. Most short stories you involve yourself with feel limp, without passion or purpose or reason—but this one (which I unashamedly chose because of the cover) does none of those things.

I am amazed at how comfortable I felt with this read, given how far out to left field the subject matter is. I mean, a necromancer and a devil are NOT my
Megan Murphy
Nov 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites, dark-humor
This was the last short story of Johannes Cabal that I have read, and I am glad I saved it for last. This was such an entertaining read that I wish it did not end so soon. In this short story we see Cabal team up with a Devil, not quite what he imagined. He met his match in this sassy sucubine who can make him laugh and even smile. Nothing like a blind date in the abyss.
Bishwaksen Bandyopadhyay
Dec 12, 2017 rated it it was amazing
One of the best books I have ever read, hilarious and bizarre...the chemistry and dialogue between Cabal and Madame Zeranyia is such a pleasure to read.....easily one of the best literary partnerships of all time
Ryan Talbot
Aug 06, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

Perfectly executed. Well written, fun, and witty as hell. A great read, both for the price and the content. A fine example of what good D&D inspired fiction should look like.
Alvaro Tejada Galindo
Jun 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Another short story featuring Johannes Cabal...and I of course totally completely love it...I guess this was my favorite short story...and it wasn't even that short...which make it even more interesting -:)
Dec 12, 2017 rated it really liked it
As always, a delightful short story of Cabal.
Jan 29, 2019 rated it really liked it
“Nietzsche woz here.”
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Jonathan L Howard is a game designer, scriptwriter, and a veteran of the computer games industry since the early 1990s, with titles such as the 'Broken Sword' series to his credit.

After publishing two short stories featuring Johannes Cabal (Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day and Exeunt Demon King) in H. P. Lovecraft's Magazine of Horror, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer was published in 2009 as his

Other books in the series

Johannes Cabal (5 books)
  • Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (Johannes Cabal, #1)
  • Johannes Cabal the Detective (Johannes Cabal, #2)
  • The Fear Institute (Johannes Cabal, #3)
  • The Brothers Cabal (Johannes Cabal, #4)
  • The Fall of the House of Cabal (Johannes Cabal, #5)
“So she leapt without hesitation toward it trailing a silken thread behind her as they fell, she a model of concentration, he singing about sausages.” 2 likes
“There was drinking. There was animalistic growling and squawking. There was vomiting. There were flows of excrement. Thus far, this was indistinguishable from most parliaments, but it was the refusal to get down to any real work that galled Satan.” 0 likes
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