Het zwart en het zilver

by Paolo Giordano, Mieke Geuzebroek (Translator), Pietha de Voogd (Translator)

Als Nora tijdens de laatste maanden van haar zwangerschap door medische complicaties aan bed gekluisterd raakt, nemen zij en haar man Signora A. in dienst om Nora te verzorgen en hen te helpen met het huishouden. Na de geboorte van hun zoontje blijft Signora A. als kinderjuf voor hen werken, maar ze is veel meer dan alleen een oppas of huishoudster. Ze vangt al hun onzekerheden op en wordt de bewaakster van hun relatie, het kompas dat het paar door windstilten en stormen loodst.
Als Signora A. hun plotseling door een ziekte wordt afgenomen, vallen ze in een diep gat. 'Zij was de enige echte getuige geweest van de onderneming die we dag na dag volbrachten, de enige getuige van de band die er tussen ons was. Zonder haar blik voelden we ons in gevaar.' Maar Nora en haar man moeten nog ontdekken dat zij inmiddels net zo sterk zijn geworden als Signora A.

In Het zwart en het zilver registreert Paolo Giordano op gevoelige wijze de schokken in het dagelijks leven van een jong gezin, de blijdschap en het verdriet, het onvermogen en het verlangen. Het is na De eenzaamheid van de priemgetallen en Het menselijk lichaam wederom een prachtig geschreven roman over liefde, verlies en eenzaamheid.

Genres: Fiction, Italian Literature, Italy, Contemporary, Literature, Drama, Family

160 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
Paolo Giordano is a professional physicist and is currently working on a doctorate in particle physics. The Solitude of Prime Numbers, his first novel, took Italy by storm where it has sold over a million copies. It is being translated into twenty languages and has sold all over the world.

Reviews

[Jim Fonseca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. It reminded me a lot of The Perfect Nanny by Leila Slimani, although without the tragic, violent ending. In both novels, a woman who is a nanny, maid and cook is wonderful in every way. The nanny makes herself indispensable to a busy two-career young couple. And because the nanny herself has no children or close family connections her employers’ child and their way of life becomes indispensable to her life.

The nanny in Like Family is a 68-year old widow. The husband and wife have contrasting personalities: she an artist and he’s a physicist and the author plays with the stereotypes that go along with those careers. The story, set in Italy, is told by the husband.



We learn at the beginning of the story that the nanny will become seriously ill (cancer) and have to give up her role. Much of the story focuses on the impact of that loss to the husband, wife and child. Coincidentally or not, when the nanny has to quit her position their marriage starts to sour and the narrator, the husband, uses cancer as a metaphor for the possible disintegration of their relationship. “In the long run, every love needs someone to witness and acknowledge it, to validate it, or it may turn out to be just a mirage. Without her gaze [the nanny] we felt at risk.”

As the nanny’s disease progresses, their roles switch and the couple visits her frequently. The novel talks about the nanny’s impact on the child but the wife is particularly impacted when the nanny becomes ill because she was bedridden for much of her pregnancy and for months, the nanny was essentially her nurse and constant companion.

There is good writing:

“Among the countless things I’ve learned about my wife in ten years of marriage is her habit of isolating herself in times of grief. She suddenly becomes unreachable and won’t allow anyone to console her, forcing me to remain a useless spectator to her suffering – a rejection that I sometimes interpreted as a lack of generosity.”

[the Nanny] “…always described them [her cousins] as envious and spiteful and kept away from them even though she was alone, but the cancer seems to have weakened her immune system against her family as well, defenses that she’d spent half a lifetime building up.”



It’s a short book and a quick read, essentially a novella. I also enjoyed and reviewed another book by this author (b. 1982), The Solitude of Prime Numbers. That book won Italy’s highest literary honor, the Strega Prize, in 2008.

Top photo Italian street scene from i.etsystatic.com
The author from hayfestival.com

[Fabian · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's only right to be extra strict upon these tight little novellas that must, above all, pack a significant wallop in such a small, tidy package. If not... why do they EVEN exist, am I right?

& I tried to resist the smallness & frailness of this one. This... novelette. But it brought about stuff that had been stuck in the undertow of feeling, it made me truly meditate on the life and death of loved ones and the toll it takes on a single person. It's very personal (again, the protagonist is a wealthy member of society that can see stuff at an elevated plane, but can describe feelings beautifully) & it's very small (a woeful tale of death, cancer), yet it will make you THINK. It hits the correct points to activate a feeling of a nostalgia which comes perilously close to tears.

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 They called her Mrs. A or Babette, never her real first name. She came into their lives when she was really needed, a widow that took care of his wife when she was confined to bed rest with their first child. She stayed and became nanny, cook, confidante and managed their lives with supreme efficiency. After eight years she came down with a serious illness and could no longer work.

A quiet, simple novel about a woman who becomes indispensable in the lives of this family. a woman who became a friend, part of the family to the extent that she left a gaping hole in their lives, when she was no longer there. Not only did their son miss her terribly, but their lives no longer went as smoothly, not even their marriage.

What was unusual was that this was narrated by the husband who is a physicist, a man of science. It is told in a rather dispassionate manner, as if the husband is dissecting not only Mrs. A's effect on their loves but her personal life with the husband who had died many years preciously. It also made me think how often people are identified by the illnesses they have. Also the many different people that can make up a family.I loved the ending of this novel, simple but effective.

Arc from publisher.

[Elyse Walters · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Of the three of us, Emmanuel is the only one who has not yet learned that nothing
lasts forever when it comes to human relationships".

Mrs. A had been working for a young couple and their only child, for eight years, when one day she calls and quits -says she is exhausted.

Emmanuel, their son, doesn't understand. He wants to know when his 'Babette' is coming back. Nora and her physicist husband ( the nameless narrator), are also coming unplugged - worried - anxious-flustered -- they call Mrs. A trying to get her back. Mrs. A held their family together - she was the person who 'encouraged' everyone. She not only cooked grand fancy delicious meals, cleaned, and was a nanny to Emmanuel, she represented strength, security, and context for the entire family's daily living.
"Every love needs someone to witness and acknowledge it, validate it, or it may turn out to be just a mirage. Without her gaze we felt at risk." Mrs. A was 'that' person -a temporary gift.

Mrs. A said she could no longer work for this family because she was tired - but the real reason is that she had terminal cancer.
At the beginning of this novella - we learn Mrs. A has died. The storytelling is looking back --- but what especially moved me to almost tears - ( each time I read it) - is what the author wrote in the beginning---before he started his story:
"There really was a Mrs. A in my life. She stayed in my house, shared life with my family for a few years, then had to leave us".
I, too, had a Mrs. A for a few years - after my father died ( her name was Carol --Carol who took me on a trip once - just she and I to visit her family in Oregon).
I understand - in real life -- the author's father died when he was a child also.
I had been wanting to read this book since I first learned about it almost 2 years ago - when I was declined the opportunity to read an 'advance' copy. I finally bought the book for myself. It's lovely ....and sad.

Deeper beneath the seams - problems were not getting addressed. Mrs. A's defection was soon visible not only in the household but in the couple's relationship.
"Outwardly our married life went along unchanged, structure around a sequence of commitments, yet as if it's heart had been drained. I had seen Nora sad, upset, angry,
but never listless or indifferent. Without the intercession of her exuberance, the world went back to being the cold shell that I had inhabited before I met her. Even Emmanuel, at times, appeared alien to me".

The writing is lyrical-- so lovely --sad --yet a beautiful tribute to Mrs. A. Her name was Anna.

[Mohadese · Rating 3 out of 5]

نمی‌دونم.

_______
بعدن نوشت:
سایه سنگین خانم الف کتاب کوتاهیه که میشه تو یک نشست خوند. (احتمالا اگه کرونا نبود تو دسته کتابایی قرار می‌گرفت که در مسیر دانشگاه تا خانه خوانده‌ام.)
انقدر کتاب کوتاهیه که تقریبا نمی‌دونم چی باید در موردش بگم. :))
این کتاب در مورد خانم الف هست، زنی که به قصد پرستاری از نوزاد زوج جوانی وارد زندگی‌شون میشه و به نظرم پاسدار و پرستار زندگی این زوج میشه.
کتاب با مرگ شروع میشه، پس اگه بگم با مرگ خانم الف شیرازه این زندگی از هم پاشیده میشه اسپویل نکردم (البته پشت جلد کتابم نوشته شاید کمی اسپویل باشه الان که فکر می‌کنم.)
کتاب روایتی‌ست از زندگی این زوج و آشنایی‌شون با خانم الف، منش و رفتار این خانم و بعد مرگش.

خوندن این کتاب دقیقا مثل این می‌مونه که بشینی کنار یه آدم (تو اتوبوس یا تاکسی) و زندگی‌شو واست تعریف کنه،
و وقتی پیاده میشی (کتاب تموم میشه) شاید مثل من از خودت بپرسی:
"چه کسی توی زندگی‌م اونقدر برام مهمه که اگه نباشه شیرازه زندگی‌م از هم می‌پاشه؟"

[Gabril · Rating 4 out of 5]

Romanzo breve e serrato che rappresenta una prova più matura di Paolo Giordano, rispetto a La solitudine dei numeri primi.

Sempre di solitudine si tratta, quella dei due componenti di una giovane coppia: lui, voce narrante, rappresenta il nero, vischioso e insinuante come un’onda di angoscia che sale. Lei: l’argento fuso, “il migliore dei conduttori, il riflettente più spietato“. Sono mondi vicini e paralleli, apparentemente comunicanti, drammaticamente insolubili.
Ma non sono i loro problemi di coppia a costituire la materia narrativa. È la progressiva inesorabile scomparsa della signora A., collaboratrice domestica, balia del loro bambino, amica sapiente e testimone silenziosa e necessaria della loro unione. Un cancro se la sta portando via.
Come un filo che a poco a poco si allenta, si sfilaccia e infine si spezza, la resistenza di A. si consuma e il dolore del protagonista, quello di sua moglie Nora e del piccolo Emanuele è la concentrazione di tutto il dolore immaginabile: quello provato davanti alla perdita degli affetti più cari, dei legami e dei testimoni e in ultima istanza della vita stessa, ma anche della possibilità che un legame intimo sia durevole, che l’amore sia possibile.

Intenso e malinconico.

[Arghoon · Rating 5 out of 5]

همینطوری توی کتابفروشی میچرخیدم که این کتاب به چشمم خورد، برِش داشتم، چند صفحه‌ای ورق زدم و... جذبش شدم! من معمولا اینطوری کتاب انتخاب نمیکنم و هر کتابی که میخوام بخونمو باید اول حداقل ده-پونزده مرتبه کائنات سر راهم گذاشته باشن، ولی همون بیست صفحه‌ی اول این کتابو که خوندم نمیتونستم دیگه ادامه ندم.
خیلی وقت بود که اینطور داستانی نخونده بودم، داستانی که توی حجم کم، اینهمه غصه‌ی لطیف و صادقانه گنجونده باشه؛ شخصیت های بسیار قابل لمس که ترسها و روزمرگی‌هاشون مثل یه بوی آشنا خاطرات عمیقی رو جلوی چشمامون میاره.. رابطه‌ای که آهسته سرد میشه و چنگ زدن بهش فایده‌ای نداره ، اشیای قدیمی که بار عاطفی زیادی دارن و این حقیقت که بعد از مرگ ما دیگه هیچ معنایی برای کسی ندارن، از دست‌دادن روتین هموار زندگی و ناتوانی برای برگردوندن آرامش سابق و .. چیزهای حقیقی و تلخ دیگه.
ترجمه خیلی دلنشین و روان بود ، نمیدونم متن اصلی هم اینطوریه یا نه ، ولی توی متن ترجمه شده آوای کلمات انگار به سکوت داستان عمق بیشتری میدادن.
_________________

[Rana Heshmati · Rating 5 out of 5]

سایه سنگین خانم الف از بهترین کتاب‌هایی بود که به تازگی خوندم. لطیف، آهسته و غمگین.
نکته‌هایی ریز از روابط آدم‌ها با هم، از زندگی و مرگ.
موشکافانه زندگی یک خانواده سه نفره رو روایت می‌کنه. خانواده‌ای که ستونش خانم بابته، خدمتکارشون. کسی که ازشون مراقبت می‌کنه، در کارهای خونه کمکشون می‌کنه، و چشمیه که زندگیشون رو سر پا نگه می‌داره. همونطور که خود راوی (که اسمش رو نمی‌دونیم) می‌گه: «هر عشقی، در درازمدت، نیازمند کسی است که ببیندش و تصدیقش کند و بر آن صحه بگذارد، اگر نه ممکن است اصلا عشق نباشد. بدون نگاه او ما در خطر بودیم.»
‌
در قلبم جای گرفت. 💛

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I get the impression that both books I've read by Paolo Giordano are deeply linked to the author's actual life. The Solitude of Prime Numbers has two characters that bond because of their love for math, and in this novel the husband/father central character is a physicist, just as the author is. I think that made this novel feel quite small, as if maybe it was too close to home, and couldn't be extended easily beyond that world.

At the same time, small can really work, and I would encourage anyone who starts this to push past the first third. A novel that seems like the story of a family's housekeeper and nanny becomes more about family, and relationships, and the small things that make or break them. The thread of cancer was particularly close to my own family's experience and I found the whole book to be touching. Not as good as the previous one, but worth a quick read. I also find the writing (and perhaps the translation) to be quite beautiful, and if it were not a review copy I would give you a few examples. A few paraphrases - falling in love akin to being flushed out, a child described as an "extraordinary seismograph," and the parallel between cancer and what happens in relationships when a married couple starts to grow apart.

This book was provided by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Marta Xambre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gostei muito, muito...
Quando um livro nos permite sentir e reviver o que está guardado no nosso coração e na nossa memória, é de facto tocante e inesquecível.
A Senhora A desta história, fez -me lembrar com muito carinho e saudade a minha senhora R.
Foi uma viagem muito sensitiva e muito emocionante. Tão real, tão pura de sentimentos e tão carregada de amor.
Há pessoas que, de uma forma única e especial, marcam as nossas vidas para sempre, assim como a senhora A marcou a vida da família desta história.
Uma história que aborda a doença, a importância das relações humanas, a perda e o amor. Uma narrativa tão transparente e real, e ao mesmo tempo repleta de simbolismo.

[Connie G · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Every love needs someone to witness and acknowledge it, to validate it, or it may turn out to be just a mirage."

Mrs A is a widow who was hired to help cook and clean during Nora's difficult pregnancy. When the son of Nora and the narrator is born, the indispensable Mrs A is asked to stay on to also care for the baby. Everything seems to run smoother for this two-career couple when Mrs A is around. They think of her as part of the family and an honorary grandmother. The nickname Babette, from the Karen Blixen story, is bestowed on their wonderful cook/housekeeper/nanny.

After eight years, Mrs A quits because she's exhausted - and it's soon known that she has cancer. There is a parallel between the deterioration of the nanny as the cancer advances, and a slow unraveling of the couple's relationship without her encouragement and positive influence. A huge void is left in their lives. This is a lovely novella about relationships, communication, and the importance of people who are more closely bonded to us than real family.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars: Paolo Giordano is a fabulous writer. In this, very short novel, he captures a young family struggling to function. Giordano’s gift is illuminating character’s feelings: their unsaid thoughts.

At the opening of the story, the reader learns that Mrs. A, the housekeeper/nanny dies of cancer. The narrator (husband) reminisces the family’s life with Mrs. A. In a short (146 pages) story, we learn of the significant role Mrs. A plays in the marriage. Anyone who is married will see themselves in the complexities that ALL marriages go through. What makes the novel wonderful is how realistic the marriage and husband and wife are.

Mrs. A is hired by the young couple due to pregnancy problems the wife, Nora, is experiencing. Nora needs to be bedridden early in her pregnancy. The marriage is still forming when Mrs. A is hired. There are marital issues still needing definitions and resolutions. In this, Mrs. A becomes part of the mortar of the marriage, and continues as the child’s nanny.

The book cover claims the novel is “Elegiac, heartrending, and deeply personal, this is a jewel of a novel—short, intense, and unforgettable.” I cannot reiterate that any better. I highly recommend this novel. All characters are realistic, human, and flawed. It’s a true portrait of a young marriage.

[Nicko D · Rating 4 out of 5]

Много хубав роман, или по-скоро повест. Книгата засяга отношението ни към хората, на които даваме работа и към тези, които се грижат за нас. Как може да почувстваш някой като кръвен роднина, една бавачка, една детегледачка. Преди години бях започнал и оставил до средата "Самотата на простите числа", на същия автор. Тази книга ми хареса много, даже ми се стори прекалено кратка - едва 140 страници. Очевидно Паоло с годините става все по-добър.

[Fatemeh · Rating 5 out of 5]

اشکم در اومد. کتاب کوتاهی بود که باعث شد حس کنم به خانم الف نزدیکم و انگار مادربزرگمه.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paolo Giordano – a 32-year-old Italian physicist – creates portraits of wounded individuals who yearn to bond through companionship yet often find solitude more comforting. I was haunted by them and eager to read his third book, Like Family. I was not disappointed.

When read quickly – and at 146 pages, it can easily be read in one sitting – Like Family at first appears like any other cancer story. A young couple – an unnamed narrator, a physicist who may or may not be partially based on the author himself, and his wife Nora hire a widowed housekeeper, referred to only as Mrs. A. Gradually, her importance in the household increases as she takes over the role as nanny to their son Emanuele, who is not extraordinary enough for his father.

Mrs. A, though, has cancer. As her cancer progresses in its inevitable and programmed way, it also becomes a metaphor for the couple’s own lives (“A young couple can also fall ill, from insecurity, from routine, from isolation.”) In losing her – a woman who is like family – they also begin to lose themselves.

It’s a simple story, really, and one that has been created before. But Paolo Giordano raises this question: All these cancer stories are the same, yes, but does that mean that all lives aren’t unique, deserving of their own story? Can one person become a shield for a young family that’s “a nebula of self-centeredness in danger of imploding” and if so, what happens when that person removes herself from the equation? And perhaps most importantly, what does it mean to love somebody?

As in his other books, Paolo Giordano writes profoundly and elegantly, capturing the pathos of life in a few well-chosen words. His genius comes from his ability to mine the interior thoughts of characters who – by choice or compulsion – cannot break through to nurture themselves or each other. In many important ways, Like Family is a meditation on life, death and most of all, love.

[Fahime · Rating 5 out of 5]

بعضی آدم‌ها هستند که وجودشان همه‌چیز را سر و سامان می‌دهد و با رفتنشان بعضی چیزها از هم می‌پاشد...
از آن کتاب‌هاست که تا مدت‌ها دست از سرم برنمی‌دارد.

[Matthieu Wegh · Rating 4 out of 5]

? Dit boek was een tip van de bieb. Ik had niet eerder iets gedaan met de andere tips van de bieb, dus nu wel.

🤔 De roman bleef boeiend omdat de beschrijving van wat de ouderwetse huishoudster deed en zei in het gezin, dat ze diende, zo mooi beschreven was dat je als lezer kon voelen hoe zij het gezin completeerde en hoe onmisbaar ze zichzelf daarmee maakte.

=> Misschien nog eens de De eenzaamheid van de priemgetallen van deze schrijver lezen...

MW 14/8/20

[Bonnie Brody · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was first introduced to the writing of Palo Giordano when I read 'The Solitude of Prime Numbers'. Though I enjoyed it, I felt it rather cold and disconnected from its emotional core. After reading 'Like Family' I have to think that this is a style or perhaps a thematic element of the author's writing.

'Like Family' is a very short book, almost a novella, that is about a woman who comes into the lives of young couple to help the wife out through a difficult pregnancy. The woman who comes to help is known as Mrs. A. or Babette. Mrs. A. stays on as a nanny for the newborn and then works for the couple for another eight years. One day she calls up and states she is tired and will work for them no longer. It seems she has lung cancer and is dying.

The novel looks at the dissolution of the family without Mrs. A. at its center. I thought of it like an implosion. Without Mrs. A. to guide them, the family loses its way.

The author is trained as a physicist and the narrative has a cold rationality that I found it almost impossible to connect with. It was a text about the book, rather than the book itself. The characters seemed pretentious and while the author is descriptive to some degree, there is no life in any of the protagonists. I believe that others can appreciate this author's work but he is just not for me.
Comment

[Antonella Imperiali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paolo Giordano, con la sua semplicità, ha colpito ancora. E ha colpito al cuore, quel cuore in cui vengono conservati i più cari ricordi. Mi ha ricostruito intorno e dentro il senso e il peso della perdita e della mancanza, identificata in questo caso con la fisicità invadente e affettuosa della signora A., o più semplicemente Babette, che il male si è portata via in poco tempo.
Chi di noi non ha vissuto esperienze simili? Quanti di noi si riconoscono in questi momenti? Quanti di noi, con perdite simili, hanno perso i propri punti di riferimento e le proprie sicurezze?

Lei apparteneva a quella specie di arbusti che insinuano le radici nelle fessure dei muri, lungo gli spigoli dei marciapiedi, quelle specie di rampicanti cui è sufficiente un anfratto di pochi centimetri al quale aggrapparsi per ricoprire la facciata di un palazzo.

Bello. Straziante, doloroso quanto e più di un pugno nello stomaco, ma bello!
Non ho dovuto spremere neppure una lacrima... sono scese giù da sole...
Ora ho un cuore piccolo piccolo... 💔

📖 GdL tema del mese (set. 2018): il colore 🎨🌈

[Maria Yankulova · Rating 2 out of 5]

Не открих нищо от това, което ме зашемети в “Самотата на простите числа” ... просто не е моята история.

[Ann Marie (Lit·Wit·Wine·Dine) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like Family is a beautifully written, complex but uncomplicated, story of a family and their beloved nanny. We understand from the outset that Mrs. A has died of cancer. The focus of this book is not a long, drawn-out account of her death, but rather the story of how her life has influenced the family she cared for. The characters are realistically drawn, well-developed, and all likable even in their eccentricities . I appreciated the emotional honesty and lack of gratuitous melodrama.

Thank to Penguin Viking for providing me with a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

www.litwitwineanddine.com

[Karly Drake · Rating 1 out of 5]

GACK!! Though short, I found it really hard to get through; quite honestly, if this wasn't my book group's book I would have put it down...even though it's only 146 pages! It all seemed a little pretentious. Near the end they were on their way to breaking up...and then suddenly they are happy and thinking of moving. As an aside, I hated the movie, "Babette's Feast" too. There is some beauty in the delicacy with which he writes, the eye on the minutiae of a stranger's life. Whew, it was hard for me to find nice things to say! Very interested to see what my group thought of this. Update Wednesday.

[Arybo ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Questo libro mi ha colpito il cuore, ha smascherato i miei sentimenti, è riuscito a dare voce ai miei pensieri. Consigliatissimo.

”Sei forte abbastanza”.
E lo credevo davvero. Poi, l’ho vista disintegrarsi così in fretta da non lasciarci neppure l’occasione di un congedo soddisfacente, neppure il tempo di trovare le parole adatte per esprimerle ciò che aveva significato per noi. 💔

[Mari Carmen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Toda una oda a los sentimientos, al amor, a la amistad, lealtad. Como siempre digo es mejor llegar a las historias sin conocer la sinopsis, casi a ciegas.
Entrañable.

[Parnian Rahimi · Rating 5 out of 5]

(توی بعضی از بخش‌ها به شکل مبهم و گاها نامبهم به برخی نقاط داستان اشاره کردم که نمی‌شه گفت اسپویل، اما اگه خیلی حساس هستید مثل خودم که هیچی از قبل از داستان ندونید ریویو شامل چنین چیزیست)
اول از همه ...
ترجمه‌اش رو خیلی دوست داشتم. نمی‌دونم که مترجم چه قدر به متن متعهد بوده اما ترجمه روان و یکدست و دوست‌داشتنی بود.
فقط ای کاش مترجم عنوان اصلی کتاب رو می‌گذاشت بمونه. یعنی سیاه و نقره‌ای. چون این کتاب بیش از این که درباره خانم الف باشه، درباره رابطه زناشویی راوی و همسرش نورا بود. یعنی همون سیاه و نقره‌ای که اتفاقا خیلی زیبا در دل داستان منطق رنگ‌ها شکل می‌گرفت.
من واقعا داستان رو دوست داشتم.
شاید چون یکی از دغدغه‌های اصلیم طی یک سال و نیم گذشته، رابطه بوده. منظورم از رابطه، رابطه پایدار و طولانی مدته. رابطه‌ای که در اون تمامی لحظاتت به اشتراک گذاشته می‌شه. رابطه طولانی مدت واقعا چیز غریبیه. می‌تونه آدم‌ها رو تغییر بده و در عین حال منجمدشون بکنه. رابطه طولانی مدت (نمی‌گم ازدواج، چون لزوماً با ازدواج رسمی نیست که چنین تجربه‌ای کسب می‌شه) چیز غریبیه. بسیار شیرین و همزمان ترسناک. برای منی که مدت طولانیه به این نوع از رابطه فکر می‌کنم و بالا و پ��یینش رو می‌سنجم و بی‌شرمانه از همه دوستانم که بالای ۵ ساله با هم در رابطه‌اند سوال‌های احمقانه می‌پرسم، این داستان به مثابه تصویری منسجم بود از تکه‌های پراکنده جواب‌هایی که گرفته بودم.
خصوصا این که با راوی بسیار بسیار بسیار همذات‌پنداری می‌کردم. با منطق سرد و خشکش، با قضاوت‌های نه چندان مهربانانه‌اش، با این که می‌تونست به چیزهایی اعتراف بکنه که می‌دونست بلند گفتنشون متهمش می‌کنه. در واقع باهاش همذات‌پنداری می‌کردم چون تقریبا همیشه افرادی رو که باهاشون در رابطه بودم در چنین شرایطی گذاشتم ... یعنی من بیشتر نورا بودم توی زندگی ...
جایی از داستان هست که سوالی مطرح می‌شه (توسط نورا) با این مضمون که با فلان شرایط، آیا تو در کنار من می‌مونی؟ ... در پاسخ، راوی انگار چاره‌ای نداشت و نورا مردد بود.
توی هر رابطه‌ای لحظه‌هایی هست ... سوالاتی ... جواب‌هایی و احساساتی که اگر گفته نشن، سرکوب نشن، خورده نشن ... اون رابطه می‌تونه به قهقرا بره ... می‌تونه سرد بشه ... حتی اگر نه برای همیشه و فقط برای یک لحظه.
اون سردی مثل مزه فلز توی دهن می‌مونه وقتی جای گرمی برای رفتن نداری و گوشه خیابون موندی ... .
بالا و پایین شدن یک رابطه ده ساله طبیعیه. نیست؟ اما کی از جزییات این بالاها و پایین‌ها خبر داره؟ کی می‌دونه پدر و مادرهای ما که سال‌هاست با هم زندگی کردن و می‌کنن چه قدر و چند بار از این لحظه‌ها داشتن؟ کی و کجا دلشون خواسته همدیگه رو بذارن و برن؟ کدومشون از فکر این که دیگری ممکنه بره به ترس و لرز و حقارت لحظه‌ای دچار شده؟ ...
داستان خیلی چیزهای بیشتری هم داشت. مثلا امانوئل ... یا خصوصیات تا حدی مذهبی و تا حدود خوبی جنسیت‌زده خانم الف که باهاش کنار اومده بودن ...
مثلا تمایل به انزواطلبی نورا موقع رنج ...
مثلا لحظه‌‌ای که راوی بورس تحصیلیش رو رد می‌کنه ...
واقعا هر کدوم از این موضوعات، موضوعات مهمی هستن که توی زندگی‌های مدرن ما به وفور حاضرن.
این داستان، روایت روزمره‌های عصر کنونی ماست. و ما که با گرفتن تصمیم‌هایی خودمون رو و هویتمون رو تعریف می‌کنیم.
مایی که در روابطمون، در محیط کارمون، در اتاق رواندرمانگرمون معنا پیدا می‌کنیم.
در نهایت این که داستان اون قدر برای من جذاب بود که همون روزی که شروعش کردم همون روز هم تمومش کردم.
از نگاه موشکافانه، توصیفات و نوع روایتگری نویسنده هم بسیار لذت بردم.
مطمئنم اگر هنوز توی کتابفروشی کار می‌کردم می‌تونستم حداقل روزی ۴ تا ۶ عدد ازش بفروشم :)

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Originally reviewed @ http://readaholicpeace.blogspot.com

This author wrote an exquisitely beautiful book on love and family thereupon demonstrating throughout that random people who come into your life can become family. Likewise, exhibiting how love can change a person's feelings and behavior. Written from the viewpoint of Giordano inspired by his own personal experiences with his own Mrs. A despite the fact this book is considered a work of fiction. Mrs. A came into this family's lives when Dora, the wife, was on bedrest due to complications with her pregnancy to help around the house, she fit in so well she stayed with them after Emanuele was born becoming a part of the family. A loving part of the family but preferred this were done her way:

“Then let me into the kitchen to explain what does you should cook for dinner, how to reheat them so they wouldn't dry out and where to put the dirty pots and pans after work. “don't bother washing them I'll do it tomorrow” she's always had at the beginning I disobeyed her, but when I saw that in the morning she redid the dishes I’d washed anyway I gave into her command.”

Even though this is not a very long read it is abundant with pertinent knowledge for life. Such as, knowing when to change a behavior that is holding you back in a relationship from someone you love, letting go of traditions that do not make you happy and starting new ones that do, fighting for a person you love but also knowing when you need to let them go. I learned an abundance regarding love, family, and loss from this book. I know for a fact that I will be rereading Like Family over again many times. I hope you will read this book too. Another quote to finish my review. This takes place after a wig is specially made for Mrs. A:

“In the frenzy we forgot to take the wooden dummy. I go back to retrieve it a few days later, by myself. I tell the same girl, “excuse me, but the lady lost her head.” She, however, does not smile perhaps the joke is in bad taste... One afternoon I offer a young colleague a ride home. He gets into the car, he looks up, puzzle. “And just what we are doing with this?” he asks. Then, giving me no time to explain, he bows to kiss her lipless face.”

I would like to thank “Pamela Dorman Books” for letting me give an honest review

[Sub_zero · Rating 3 out of 5]

A pesar de haber alcanzado un apabullante éxito editorial en su país y cierta notoriedad internacional con su primera novela (La soledad de los números primos), mi aproximación a la obra de Paolo Giordano se inicia con su última obra hasta la fecha, un interesante relato de corte autobiográfico que solo puede leerse como el particular homenaje que rinde Giordano a todas esas piezas que hacen girar los mecanismos de la dinámica familiar, aun cuando no son parte de ella. Aunque su presencia no siempre se hace notar, la desaparición de estos elementos satélite tiene la capacidad de alterar mareas y eclipsar de vez en cuando otros astros más brillantes. De reajustar nuestro centro de gravedad, dejándonos a la deriva en un mar de incertidumbre y urgencia de nuevos asideros emocionales para soportar la pérdida. Tal es el caso de la señora A., una mujer mayor contratada para la limpieza que fallece a causa del cáncer y deja a su paso el cadáver en descomposición de una pareja -y de su hijo pequeño- que ya no puede retrasar más el momento de rellenar las grietas en su relación, de mirarse a la cara y dejar de huir cada vez que sus sentimientos quedan desnudos, expuestos a la fría intemperie de un desapego en apariencia insalvable. Demostrando un absoluto dominio del ritmo y una admirable habilidad para dibujar personajes que trascienden la mera ficción, Paolo Giordano habla en su novela de emociones y tectónica familiar, de cómo afecta la muerte a nuestra visión del mundo y hace que percibamos cosas hasta el momento inadvertidas. Pero también hay espacio para la observación de cuestiones sociales y académicas muy profundas que tienen bastante sentido en el contexto de la obra. Por otra parte, el estilo de Giordano, en el que se percibe una notable erudición y una exquisita selección de las palabras, logra conmover sin desbordar ni caer en los terrenos de la sensiblería barata. Breve, pero muy intensa, Como de la familia ha resultado ser una delicia de lectura, una historia única y gratificante que me ha dado mucho más de lo que esperaba. Sin duda, una muy buena opción a tener en cuenta.

[Sve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Много хубава повест за близостта, самотата и смъртта.

[Carla · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had read some very good reviews of this book. Perhaps others might get more from it than I would. The author has written some highly acclaimed books, that I have not read before. The author studied physics at the University of Turin and holds a PhD in theoretical particle physics. The authors first language is Italian and this book was translated as well, however I don't think anything was perhaps lost in translation. This book was fairly short, more like a novella. It involves a family who hires a lady to help out a couple when the woman becomes pregnant, and then stays on. She later becomes ill. She is portrayed in the book "like family". Or, so the author would have us believe. The husband and wife, who employ her, are very self centered and to me, have little empathy for people.
The book reads like a "project", with little or no "passion". I emphasized those words, because I can't help thinking that because the authors background is in the sciences, that he writes like he thinks, very logically and precise. I found the book flat, devoid of many emotion.

[Oksana · Rating 5 out of 5]

від кількох друзів я чула, що проза Джордано - не найсвітліша річ, яку можна прочитати. але мене тягнуло до неї магнітом. в магазині я відкрила першу сторінку "Самотності простих чисел" і не встигла отямитися, як мене почало затягувати. ті ж таки добрі друзі радили починати з "Чорного і сріблистого", бо вона таки світліша, і я послухалася. в романі є важкі моменти, особливо, якщо ви іпохондрик, як я. деякі сторінки читалися майже із заплющеними очима, але в цілому мені дуже сподобалося. і стиль, і оповідь, і атмосфера. манера Джордано нагадала мені чимось Страут, може, здатністю про найважливіше говорити не словами, а десь поміж рядків, увагою до ледь вловимих, але суттєвих деталей, свіжими метафорами. якщо описати цей роман двома словами, то це будуть - пронизливий і щирий.