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Authentic Communication: Transforming Difficult Conversations in the Workplace
When disagreements arise in the office, how do we express ourselves honestly without jeopardizing our career, our work relationships, or our own integrity? And how do we support the same openness in others? These are the critical questions you will explore in Authentic Transforming Difficult Conversations in the Workplace.
Drawing on his many years consulting with thousands of people on every organizational level, Fred Kofman shares a wealth of skills to help us “express and elicit all perspectives in the spirit of mutual learning.”
Drawing on his many years consulting with thousands of people on every organizational level, Fred Kofman shares a wealth of skills to help us “express and elicit all perspectives in the spirit of mutual learning.”
- GenresLeadershipBusiness
48 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2014
63 people are currently reading
337 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
March 19, 2015
I must be honest ... I did not realize this book was an excerpt of a larger book. I do think the author referenced the larger book too many times to make this a useful summary, though. It was too quick to send you to the other book rather than summarizing what was said in that book and apply it to the situations in this book.
Fortunately, I had just finished reading a book written by a different author on the same topic, so I had the background information needed to understand what was being said without continually looking things up in a second reference. If I had not read the other book first, this would have probably gotten 1 or 2 stars instead of 3. Because I had, though, this book pulled all of the various topics in the book together succinctly to reinforce what I learned. The running examples used in this excerpt just made everything make more sense.
I would recommend reading the full-blown book by this same author rather than this summary. Too much was left out or cross-referenced.
Fortunately, I had just finished reading a book written by a different author on the same topic, so I had the background information needed to understand what was being said without continually looking things up in a second reference. If I had not read the other book first, this would have probably gotten 1 or 2 stars instead of 3. Because I had, though, this book pulled all of the various topics in the book together succinctly to reinforce what I learned. The running examples used in this excerpt just made everything make more sense.
I would recommend reading the full-blown book by this same author rather than this summary. Too much was left out or cross-referenced.
June 1, 2019
Deepening understanding about communication
A great book that unpacked the common misunderstanding about a conversation, how our conversation differs from the original intend or what we really think and what are the skills we can learn to skillfully convey a message that is closer to the truth yet minimizing the negative impact to others as well as the relationship.
A great book that unpacked the common misunderstanding about a conversation, how our conversation differs from the original intend or what we really think and what are the skills we can learn to skillfully convey a message that is closer to the truth yet minimizing the negative impact to others as well as the relationship.
July 4, 2019
Sharing on skills to handle more difficult conversation when both parties are having disagreement. Simple and clear examples given for better understanding on how to apply the concepts to yield a more peaceful and productive conversation.
September 25, 2016
This little book is jammed with wisdom and usable suggestions, and it's not just for the workplace.
A few pages into this book I realized that 1) I loved it and 2) it was NOT going to be an easy book to review. Most 40 page books can be summed up in a paragraph, but not this one. So bear with me.
This author is a former professor of accounting at MIT, a long-time business consultant, and the author of CONSCIOUS BUSINESS: HOW TO BUILD VALUE THROUGH VALUES. I haven't read it, but it's almost ten years old and still selling. In the hyper-competitive American business world where every hot new trend pushes older ideas to the back burner, that's saying something.
In this book, he focuses on what he considers to be the core of any business model - communication. Of course, we all know the importance of communication, although we may not be very good at it. This author zeroes in on the most important conversations of all - the difficult ones that nobody wants to have.
These are the conversations that are dreaded by both parties because they involve conflict or bad news. And yet these conversations will and MUST occur and your professional career depends on how well you handle them. This author's advice is to approach these situations in the context of your core beliefs, which should include honesty, willingness to learn, and respect for yourself and others.
He breaks down a typical business discussion which accomplishes nothing useful and leaves both parties angry and defensive. By showing what one participant is thinking (as opposed to what's being said) he emphasizes the difference between our intentions (which are known only to us) and our words/actions (from which others interpret our intentions.) He shows how you can analyze a difficult past conversation to figure out what went wrong and how to plan for a future difficult conversation to achieve better results.
I love the quote, "Respect is like air. If you take it away, it's all people can think about." How many times have you seen an angry customer or employee continue to argue AFTER getting what he wanted? Even "winning" doesn't take away the bad taste of being treated disrespectfully.
Conversely, a customer or co-worker may emerge from a confrontation feeling good even though the situation remains unchanged. Almost always this is because some intelligent customer service rep or a wise manager listened to the person and made him feel that he was valued and that his concerns were being heard.
As this author says, a business is simply a group of people pooling their talents and efforts to provide a product or service in exchange for money. Therefore, communication must be seen in the light of accomplishing goals while strengthening relationships. "Fake it until you make it" overlooks the value of co-workers listening to and learning from each other in order to achieve the most for themselves and for their organization.
As I was reading this book I kept thinking that the techniques this author demonstrates are of use in both business and personal communication. He must think so, too, because he cites a study in which family therapists divided couples in conflict into three categories: the blamer-threateners, the silent sulkers, and those who communicate honestly and respectfully. Based on the couples' method of fighting, the therapists were able to predict 90% of the divorces that occurred in the follow-up period.
This book is short, but dense and I'm already planning to re-read it. It's also one I will be recommending to my friends. ALL of them!
A few pages into this book I realized that 1) I loved it and 2) it was NOT going to be an easy book to review. Most 40 page books can be summed up in a paragraph, but not this one. So bear with me.
This author is a former professor of accounting at MIT, a long-time business consultant, and the author of CONSCIOUS BUSINESS: HOW TO BUILD VALUE THROUGH VALUES. I haven't read it, but it's almost ten years old and still selling. In the hyper-competitive American business world where every hot new trend pushes older ideas to the back burner, that's saying something.
In this book, he focuses on what he considers to be the core of any business model - communication. Of course, we all know the importance of communication, although we may not be very good at it. This author zeroes in on the most important conversations of all - the difficult ones that nobody wants to have.
These are the conversations that are dreaded by both parties because they involve conflict or bad news. And yet these conversations will and MUST occur and your professional career depends on how well you handle them. This author's advice is to approach these situations in the context of your core beliefs, which should include honesty, willingness to learn, and respect for yourself and others.
He breaks down a typical business discussion which accomplishes nothing useful and leaves both parties angry and defensive. By showing what one participant is thinking (as opposed to what's being said) he emphasizes the difference between our intentions (which are known only to us) and our words/actions (from which others interpret our intentions.) He shows how you can analyze a difficult past conversation to figure out what went wrong and how to plan for a future difficult conversation to achieve better results.
I love the quote, "Respect is like air. If you take it away, it's all people can think about." How many times have you seen an angry customer or employee continue to argue AFTER getting what he wanted? Even "winning" doesn't take away the bad taste of being treated disrespectfully.
Conversely, a customer or co-worker may emerge from a confrontation feeling good even though the situation remains unchanged. Almost always this is because some intelligent customer service rep or a wise manager listened to the person and made him feel that he was valued and that his concerns were being heard.
As this author says, a business is simply a group of people pooling their talents and efforts to provide a product or service in exchange for money. Therefore, communication must be seen in the light of accomplishing goals while strengthening relationships. "Fake it until you make it" overlooks the value of co-workers listening to and learning from each other in order to achieve the most for themselves and for their organization.
As I was reading this book I kept thinking that the techniques this author demonstrates are of use in both business and personal communication. He must think so, too, because he cites a study in which family therapists divided couples in conflict into three categories: the blamer-threateners, the silent sulkers, and those who communicate honestly and respectfully. Based on the couples' method of fighting, the therapists were able to predict 90% of the divorces that occurred in the follow-up period.
This book is short, but dense and I'm already planning to re-read it. It's also one I will be recommending to my friends. ALL of them!
September 16, 2018
Quick read and to the point
All about conversations, expression & inquiry explained effectively with some great examples. The 'left hand side' exercise was an eye-opener.
All about conversations, expression & inquiry explained effectively with some great examples. The 'left hand side' exercise was an eye-opener.
November 18, 2018
Good reminders of how to communicate with honesty and integrity. It made me want to read his book Conscious Business.
December 13, 2015
Applicable not only at the workplace. Great book on improving communication
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews