My Lady Jane

“Very funny, my lady. And that reminds me"---he pointed a finger at her---"no horse jokes."
He was making it too easy. "Ah, my lord, why the long face?"
"That's it!”

“Very funny, my lady. And that reminds me"---he pointed a finger at her---"no horse jokes."
He was making it too easy. "Ah, my lord, why the long face?"
"That's it!”

“Dedication

For everyone who knows there was enough room for Leonardo DiCaprio on that door.

And for England. We’re really sorry for what we’re about to do to your history.”

“Armies aren't very good about carrying libraries with them. I can't imagine why. We'd fight so much less if everyone would juste sit down and read.”

“Your majesty, please reconsider," Lord Dudley pleaded. "Your position will be much stronger with your husband as king. The people will see it as a sign of strength - "

She took a deep breath. "They need signs of my strength, not my reliance on the men around me.”

“I love you more than I love books.”

"You nearly died, and then who would I have argued with?"
"You'd have found someone."
"No." He stepped toward her. "I only want to argue with you.”

“What my wife desires--and what you should have guessed, had you paid attention--is bookcases. And books, of course, to fill them. Not more decorations or useless items. She wants books.”

“No horse jokes," he said.
"My lord, I apologize for the horse joke. If you put down the book---unharmed!---I will give you a carrot."
He brandished the book at her. "Was that a horse joke?"
"Neigh."
"Was that a horse joke?”

Now, stop babbling, Nastassja, and get to action already!

The authors' summary (it's actually the book's prologue, but I am sure it can be used as a summery):

You may think you know the story. It goes like this: once upon a time, there was a sixteen-year-old girl named Jane Grey, who was forced to marry a complete stranger (Lord Guildford or Gilford or Gifford-something-or-other), and shortly thereafter found herself ruler of a country. She was queen for nine days. Then she quite literally lost her head.
Yes, it’s a tragedy, if you consider the disengagement of one’s head from one’s body tragic. (We are merely narrators, and would hate to make assumptions as to what the reader would find tragic.)
We have a different tale to tell.
Pay attention. We’ve tweaked minor details. We’ve completely rearranged major details. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent (or not-so-innocent, or simply because we thought a name was terrible and we liked another name better). And we’ve added a touch of magic to keep things interesting. So really anything could happen.
This is how we think Jane’s story should have gone.
It begins in England (or an alternate version of England, since we’re dealing with the manipulation of history), in the middle of the sixteenth century. It was an uneasy time, especially if you were an E∂ian (pronounced eth-ee-uhn for those of you unfamiliar with the term). The E∂ians were blessed (or cursed, depending on your point of view) with the ability to switch between a human form and an animal one. For instance, certain members of the general public could turn themselves into cats, which greatly increased the country’s tuna-fish consumption, but also cut down on England’s rat population. (Then again, other individuals could turn into rats, so nobody really noticed.)
There were those who thought that this animal magic was terrific, but others who saw it as an abomination that needed to be eradicated immediately. That second group (known as Verities) believed that human beings had no business being anything other than human beings. And because Verities were largely in charge of everything, E∂ians were persecuted and hunted until most of them died out or went deep into hiding.
Which brings us to one fateful afternoon in the royal court of England, when King Henry VIII, during a fit of rage, transformed into a great lion and devoured the court jester, much to the audience’s delight. They clapped enthusiastically, for no one really liked the jester. (Later, the courtiers discovered the incident was not a rehearsed act of artful deception, but indeed an actual lion masticating the jester. When the audience found out the truth they no longer clapped, but they did remark, “That clown had it coming.”)
That very night, King Henry, once he’d returned to his human form, decreed that E∂ians weren’t so bad after all, and henceforth should enjoy the same rights and privileges as Verities. The decision to sanction the ancient magic made waves across Europe. The head of the Verity Church was not pleased with King Henry’s decision, but every time Rome sent a missive denouncing the decree, the Lion King ate the messenger.
Hence the phrase, Don’t eat the messenger.
When Henry died, his only son, Edward, inherited the throne. Our story begins in the middle of tense times, with an increasing animosity brewing between E∂ians and Verities, a teenage king with a tenuous grasp on the throne of England, and a young lord and lady who have no idea their destinies are about to collide.
Totally against their will.

Aside from the awesome approach with the history material, this book gave us wonderful characters, which according to history books (you won't find those anywhere in public places, because they are highly encrypted and kept in a far far away lands... but I give you my word: they contain only the truth) invented such things as using a pan to bash someone's head (yup, Disney Rapunzel wasn't the first to think of such useful thing) and invented an arm-stretch move on a young woman and ect. and ect. (I will need hours to count all inventions, really). Such a creative creatures these characters. Here's the cast:

a horse

a kestrel

a ferret

a fox

a skunk

I know, I know, I can guess what you are about to say, "What the... animal planet you are showing us?!" But it is the real cast of this book, though I can't tell you who is who: you'll have to read the book to find out. But for one character I can make a disclosure, because his special condition is mentioned in the first chapter, so you will not have to wait long to meet him (look at the beautiful chestnut horse on the first picture). G (his name is Gifford but he - by the obvious reasons - prefers to be called G) has an equestrian situation and literary turns into horse from every sunrise till every sunset. With the perks of being a horse other things apply, such as eating hay (but he prefers apples, really), um, manure and horse rules such as: do not ride the horse, do not tell horse jokes, do not bridle the horse... agh, too many rules for one horse, don't you think? Not an easy life I can assure you. As for our other characters (and we have three main characters as you already guessed: one for every author from our lovely team of ladies), they too have a couple of surprises to show you (and they can't wait for you to start the book) and a very exciting tale to tell.

So here's my verdict, folks: if you want a funny (a veryyyyy funny) story to read, and reliable headstrong characters to meet, and to learn the real version of English history - READREADREADREADREADREADREADREADREADREADREADREAD My Lady Jane (the pyre is still burning if you were wondering, no pressure here) and get your dose of fun that will stay with you for a long time after you finish and close the book.

P.S. I couldn't leave you without mentioning that the heroine in whose honor this book is named - Jane - is a huge lover of books (she is also a 16 years-old spinster and a redhead and as you can imagine the combination is not a very good one for the 16th century England, but, hey, the girl does really know how to use a pan occasionally). Now I am really off to do... stuff *curtsies and vanishes behind the curtain*