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Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

4.16  ·  Rating details ·  676 ratings  ·  73 reviews
And Then They Lived Happily…
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together.  But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we onc
Hardcover, 320 pages
Published September 22nd 2015 by Harmony
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 ·  676 ratings  ·  73 reviews

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Brian Tucker
Jan 05, 2016 rated it it was amazing
For the love of god. Everyone please read this.

Update 12/10/16 - I've read this 7 times this year and it gets better every time. This has become one of those special books. I hope it makes a difference in your life as it has in mine.
Mar 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
In an uncertain period in our marriage, I turned to the tools in this book to help us through with kindness and compassion. Thanks to this book, I now have a framework for understanding our relationship and how we can move forward without blame or shame as we figure out whether reconciliation is possible. Perhaps it’s strange to be so open about such things on a site like this, but I’m glad I read this book and am glad to recommend it to others. No shame.
Arlena Dean
Title: Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After
Author: Katherine Woodward Thomas
Publisher: Harmony
Reviewed By: Arlena Dean
Rating: Five

"Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After" by Katherine Woodward Thomas

My Thoughts...

This was a very good self help read especially if you are going through a breakup of
any kind...this read is for you.

Here are some of what I took from the read....

Bad experiences can be turn into positive ones.

Wisdom and Guidance's...hand
Dec 25, 2020 rated it really liked it
This book helped me process my breakup/divorce in as positive a way as possible. I read this book on my own vs with my ex, but it helped me see the longterm benefit of leaving a relationship - no matter the reasons - with love, respect, dignity and grace. As l share children with my ex, finding a path forward that doesn’t smack of resentment, anger and bitterness will help me heal and help me be a better co-parent with my ex, and give our kids as healthy an environment to grow up in as possible. ...more
Mar 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I’m going through a divorce right now. It’s [supposed to be] an amicable one, but a divorce nonetheless. As I’m going through a downward spiral felling sad, lonely, not respected and betrayed, this book showed that I’m not the first and won’t be the last to go through separation, and if we think about long-term well-being (forever live with the consequences) instead of the short-term vengeance there is a light in the end of the tunnel. Lots of questions aiming to get to the root cause of the pro ...more
Oct 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I learned so much from reading this book. My intention behind reading this book was to help understand some of my many relationship patterns - work, friends, family, etc. It certainly delivered on that intention. I've read it once, and will reread it in the coming weeks. Taking more time to dive into exercises.

My first read opened my eyes to some deeper thoughts on creating a new foundation/filter for my relationships. There were even a few moments where the light bulb clicked on to long held m
Jul 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book was an eye-opener. Several things in the first chapter made me really think. It seems so obvious that the length of a relationship should not be the deciding factor in its value, and yet somehow I needed this spelt out for me. Some people may have been together 50 years and counting, but may not be happy, just because they are still together. Others are brave enough to value what they have had together and when it ends in its current form, to try to evolve into something new and loving ...more
I am crawling through this book, FINALLY on page 129. I am taking my time with each of the 5 steps to be really ready for the next. This is the first book that gave me tools to calm my emotions and wrap my mind around my divorce. For the first time, I could make it through a day without crying and I just kept getting better and better as I worked through these steps and really did the emotional work of growing.
Conscious Uncoupling

I just finished reading this book “Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After”
by Katherine Woodward Thomas

I found the ideas in the book to be very powerful and worthwhile. Being involved with singles through my retreats for singles and being single myself, I have seen a lot of pain and suffering when a dating relationship does not work out or hearing the perspective from divorced people about their breakups.

There is no
Jun 19, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: did-not-finish
Great self-help for uncoupled and maybe even avoiding it. Or realizing you need it.
Mar 22, 2017 rated it liked it
Enjoyed the writing and simplicity of language as a self help book, but didn't necessarily learn anything new. Well structured and organized information. ...more
Dec 26, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
i highlighted a bunch of shit. really liked it. i should probably re-read it, because i've already forgotten all the good feelings it gave me. ...more
Nov 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book! Anyone going through a breakup, of any kind, should read this.
Nov 27, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This book is a guide for those who choose to grow through life's experiences in a positive way. Divorce can be more than something to just get through. It can be a catalyst for transformation. ...more
Katrina Sark
May 25, 2016 rated it liked it
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." (Jean-Paul Sartre)
Maxine Hargreaves
I have done a ton of work on myself over the years trying to let go of the relationship with my ex-boyfriend.

I'd heard of the book some time ago, and then someone I met in LA in 2019, recommended this book to me, as he is a relationship coach and one of Katherines coaches. I finally bought and read the book.

I took my time working through all the journal exercises. I found it an emotional experience, and liked the way that the process allowed me to remember the good things about my ex, while al
Sep 05, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: love
In a society that considers romantically partnering with someone a success, then when that romantic partnership ends or transforms into something else, it is considered a 'failure.'
While my wife and I separated long ago, and it was done in the most healthy and loving way possible (to the point where we're still great friends!), the language I used was often one of "ending" a relationship or how it "failed."
Turns out she just isn't into guys, and so rather than our relationship being a 'failure'
Cheryl Goveia
Dec 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2018
Very few people know what's been going on in our lives this past year and I am grateful to each loving soul who reached out and shared in our journey. This book has been a blessing. For all of us who come from the dreaded "broken home" to those of us who also have bad divorces behind us, this is a new way, a new vocabulary of grace in the age of serial monogamy. We live long. Sometimes things last and are meant to and sometimes they just can't survive change. I am incredibly thankful to Katherin ...more
Feb 15, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
"Life has broken you open and it is violently, mercilessly forcing you to evolve, to develop, and to grow."

I saw this book linked in an article last week, ordered it, and then read it in one afternoon and evening. I only wish I'd read it two months ago.

When we first decided to divorce I was intent on making it a good and healing process. I felt alone in that idea. It was so refreshing to realize that there is a body of work trying to help make that more of a common reality.

There is much that I
May 05, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
The steps in this book are absolutely helpful for anyone going through a breakup. I gained a lot from considering the questions to ask yourself and reading the example answers. If you're someone who likes to journal, going through the questions in each step may help you clear the air and move forward in a much more conscious way than most people do when a relationship ends. I also appreciated the self-care ideas. Most of them I knew already, but a refresher is helpful, and some were entirely new ...more
A.Y. Berthiaume
May 16, 2018 rated it really liked it
Conscious Uncoupling was more than I expected. I picked it up because I liked the idea of turning the coined and tried phrase "Happily Ever After" on its head, but I never imagined it would be full of anecdotes from the author's life or people she's worked with; research and theory; and/or self-help meditations and guided questions. It felt like part memoir, part (relationship) psychology, and part self-help. And completely useful to not just those going through divorce but anyone going through ...more
C. Scott
Aug 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
I realize that the concept of "conscious uncoupling" became kind of a cultural punchline because of Gwyneth Paltrow. The Goopster announced that she and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin were breaking up in this hippy-dippy way a few years back to widespread eye-rolling.

Paltrow borrowed the phrase from author Katherine Woodward Thomas, who hadn't yet written this book. There is much wisdom to be gleaned here. Does breaking up have to be so acrimonious and harsh? Or can it be done with kindness and
Jul 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
shadow side of love, chronic enabler, accept as is value goodness, expectations root of heartache, addicted to others, desire understanding that brings peace, duplicate stories, core value shift, love then let go, emotional freedom, give love peace forgiveness understanding concern a chance, never know someone until you divorce them who you choose to be how you treat someone who wounded you, forgive them know not what they do as JC, forgive spouse and yourself, love yourself and JC WWJD understa ...more
Chrysta Bairre
May 13, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a great book for navigating the end of a significant relationship. It gave me a fresh, new perspective to treat myself and my ex with compassion and kindness throughout the process of getting divorced.

I did find some of the language to be a bit overdramatic. Divorce is absolutely painful and hard, and yet I'm not sure I ever felt like my life was over or I wouldn't or couldn't recover. Still, it was overall a very helpful book and I would recommend it.
Vishnu Priya
Aug 01, 2020 rated it it was amazing
What a beautiful book. At first when I started reading it I was so full of anger, resentment, sadness and many other negative feelings towards my ex. This book has a weird way of putting things into perspective and calming you down. I did the exercises by myself and by the end of the process, I felt liberated from the negative emotions. Sure I'm working on myself and feeding heathy food to my mind and body but I'm grateful for the clarity I got from this book! ...more
Oct 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Fantastic read for anyone who has had bad relationships in the past who think they may still be haunting them in the presence. Practical exercises to work through relationship issues so you can end any current one with grace and head into the future with integrity and positive emotions.

Created for people going through a divorce but I found it useful even having ended my previous relationship with Conscious Uncoupling.
Deborah Weinstein
Feb 09, 2021 rated it it was amazing
This quote from the final chapter pretty much sums it all up, and illustrates how powerful this book and her five step process are. If you are ready for a different path this time, and turn your suffering into positive change, then this book is for you.

“If we can find ways to transform our heartaches into breakthroughs, on the challenging journey of learning to better love ourselves, and each other, then all we’ve been through, dear reader, will well be worth it.”
Mar 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Two things stand out about this book: the myriad of inspiring and insightful quotes, and the generous and kind approach to the ending of a relationship. If we all parted ways in this fashion, there would be less stigma around divorce. This is an easy read, at least in comparison to a lot of other self-improvement books.
Jun 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I would recommend this book to anyone who has EVER been in a relationship. Even just one. It doesn’t matter if you’re married, separated, divorced, or dating, there are so many helpful exercises and ideas in this book that can help you approach your relationships (past or present) in a kinder and more accepting way.
Feb 13, 2020 rated it really liked it
This book came at an important point to me. Overall I appreciated her thoughtfulness and looking at the deeper and more unconscious processes that happen at the end of the relationship.
my only thing I found difficult was her tone which I found a bit patronizing at times - although perhaps that is just my own sensitivity
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Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the national bestseller, Calling in “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world ...more

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