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To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power
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To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power

3.88  ·  Rating details ·  181 ratings  ·  13 reviews
A groundbreaking guide to a genuinely healthy masculinity, at the heart of which is a potent pathway: facing our unresolved wounds and whatever else holds us back, bringing our head, heart, and guts into full-blooded alignment.

To Be a Man clarifies what’s needed to enter a manhood as strongly empowered as it’s vulnerable, as emotionally literate as it’s unapologetically al
Hardcover, 320 pages
Published January 1st 2015 by Sounds True
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Ben Azadi
Dec 16, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: wish-list
I just finished this profound book by Robert Masters. It goes against all conventional ways of thinking about manhood that have been shaped by the media and modern society.

The books shows how so many men cannot sustain intimate relationships because of what he calls the "unholy triumvirate" of "unhealthy forms of shame, power and sex." Masters covers the need for men to deal with the disowned parts of themselves by facing their shadow. He also recommends shifting from aggression to anger and de
Oct 02, 2017 rated it it was ok
Only a few chapters were interesting enough in my honest opinion.
But probably because I'm already a man very much in touch with my emotions and not so much an angry, porn addicted momma's boy.
I had to laugh or gasp a lot at Masters was sometimes describing, the things he had done/encountered/witnessed/.. whatever..
So, this might be useful to certain people, but I'm not one of them... I'll be holding on to the book, just in case I run into somebody and I can smack him in the head with it :D
Daniel Coburn
Apr 09, 2018 rated it really liked it
Highly recommend this one to men who are ready and motivated to do their own work to become the best they can be. This book is partly about taking responsibility for one's sexuality, emotions, relationships, ambitions, actions, etc, for the purpose of developing greater self-awareness and interpersonal connection. The book is also about understanding, discovering, and embodying "true masculine power," which the author writes "happens when courage, integrity, vulnerability, compassion, awareness, ...more
Ben Smitthimedhin
A practical mixture between Freud and Jung on masculinity. I agree with most of Masters's advice on embracing the "shadow self" (a Jungian concept of the unconscious-- parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of and are attempting to hide) and becoming more aware of our emotions without being reactive.

His chapters on "Eroticizing Our Wounds" are brilliant, and his call for men to outgrow pornography and to deal with our issues takes courage, especially in a culture that refuses to criticize the to
Denis Kotnik
Dec 29, 2020 rated it liked it
It is a really good book! It is clearly that the author knows a lot about psychotherapy and he indeed is a therapist. If I would release such a book I would title it "To be a self-reflexive man", because everything in the book is about self-reflexion. The chapters about the shame, anger and aggresion are amazing! It also talks about that the rationality and emotions work best when they work together. And about repressed feelings, how for example shame can be expressed as anger (shame behind ange ...more
Mike Pietrzak
Mar 08, 2021 rated it liked it
There was a lot of great stuff in here related to the male journey. I can't say that I was ready to understand all of it but it opened my eyes to many of the patterns that I'm playing out, in relationships especially. The writing became clunky at times, which hurt its clarity, but overall the message in this book was appreciated. ...more
Ted Waldbillig
Oct 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
Crucial material for healing and understanding deep issues many men struggle with and barely even know it.
Jim Leffelman
I did not care for this very much. Many assumptions about what drives men. And not much useful advice. Just don’t act that way. Mostly opinion in this book.
Karim G.
May 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A great book where it acknowledges some facts related to manhood that may seem sensitive to talk about.
Sep 22, 2015 rated it liked it
My therapist recommended this book, and I was excited about reading it. Reading about manly things usually doesn't interest me. In some ways the book was better than I expected. But it definitely had its issues.

First off, the author would put about 3 or 4 comma in every sentence. This to me is a clear sign that the author cannot write. The author also used over the top language, and repeated themselves.

Next, I didn't relate to large swathes of the book. I thought the rape and breasts section w
Snazzie Lama
Dec 09, 2016 rated it liked it
Some good stuff but a bit too soft, subservient to emotion and feelings and a bit too wordy to get to the point. in saying that, i also felt there was alot of good stuff in here as well. particularly in relating to masculine shame and how we develop social norms based on that shame that ultimatly has developed our personal traits. Also aids to help those with deeper help trauma and patterns of disconnected masculinity.
Bartosz "Azatar"  Solowiej
Excellent resource for understanding the potential and sensitivity of the masculine. Good for men and women.
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Robert Augustus Masters was born in Victoria, British Columbia in 1947. From an early age he was an avid artist, but in high school switched to the sciences, with which he stayed until he found himself at the age of 21 in a PhD program in biochemistry. Little more than a year later, only a few hours after a dream of dying, he left his doctoral studies, and began an odyssey of intense travel, initi ...more

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“Shame is the painfully self-conscious sense of our behavior—or self—being exposed as defective, with the immediate result that we are halted in our tracks, for better or for worse.” 1 likes
“In the heat of such dark ire, we feel far away from our shame, even though we are in fact being driven by it and our aversion to it. It’s easier to fight than to be vulnerable, easier to attack the other than to openly state that we’re sorry for what we’ve done to them, easier to do battle than to connect, easier to hold a grudge than to grieve together, easier to engage in warfare than in peacemaking. It’s easier to armor ourselves than to step out of our armor.” 1 likes
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