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Gil's All Fright Diner

3.88  ·  Rating details ·  11,025 ratings  ·  985 reviews
Bloodier than Fried Green Tomatoes!
Funnier than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer. . . .

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to
Mass Market Paperback, 268 pages
Published June 27th 2006 by Tor Books (first published May 1st 2005)
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The Bibliopossum I just finished this book, and I can assure you that the whole situation is played as a joke.

Earl's plight is that women are attracted to the vampire …more
I just finished this book, and I can assure you that the whole situation is played as a joke.

Earl's plight is that women are attracted to the vampire side of him, but not his personality, so Tammy's initial attraction to him is superficial.
Duke ends up being the target of Tammy's desire specifically because he doesn't give her the time of day.

Yes, there is some uncomfortable moments here and there (she teases to Earl that her eighteenth birthday is coming up), but there is definitely a moment when she tries something with Duke and he stops it right then and there with a phrase along the lines of, "I like -women.-"

Believe me, I was prepared to drop the book if anything Super Gross was going to transpire, but nothing really did. Ultimately, it's up to you if you want to pick this book up or not. Either decision is understandable.(less)

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Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin
Oh my Lord! I needed this laugh today!

We have Duke who is a werewolf and ole Earl who is a vampire. They end up stopping at Gil's Diner because Duke is hungry. They meet Loretta who owns the place for reasons and she offers them a job when they help kill off some zombies. 😂

I loved the pictures in my head of the old diner in the backwoods next to a cemetery in a small town. We have ALL kinds of supernatural creatures! What fun 😄

I loved the ending! Omg! It was perfect 😊 I want to read more of thi
Jeffrey Keeten
Nov 08, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: horror
”Loretta outweighed him by at least a hundred pounds. Nonetheless, Sheriff Kopp held his ground with the courage of a man who had seen sheep explode spontaneously and lived to clean himself up later.”

Any apocalypse is about living to tell about it, right? The interesting thing about this small community is that spontaneously exploding sheep aren’t the strangest things that happen.

When Duke and Earl saw the glowing sign of Gil’s All Night Fright Diner appear, they had no idea they were about to s
Jul 27, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fans of irreverent UF
Fast, fun read. Solid four stars for cleverness and silliness--the book blurb was right, this was silly in the style of Hitchhiker's Guide, and that's a high compliment indeed.

It starts off like a buddy movie of the anti-hero variety, with Earl the vampire and Duke the werewolf driving around drinking beer in a beat-up pickup whose cab holds exactly 76 empties. They stop at an all-night diner run by Loretta, but little does anyone know, the diner is under assault by the most fearsome of opponent
Jun 04, 2015 rated it liked it
Gil’s All Fright Diner, first published in 2005 (and was Martinez’ debut publication) is a fun, no strings attached, steaming hot cup of have-at-you! urban fantasy.

Earl and Duke, vampire and werewolf respectively, arrive in Rockwood, a town in the middle of nowhere that has had more than its share of occult goings on – most of which seem to surround the vicinity of the all night diner.

Along the way, Martinez introduces us to zombies, ghosts, ghouls, a teenage sorceress and references to the “Old
Jen/The Tolkien Gal/ジェニファー
So far this book started with two thick-accented Southerners, Earl (The Earl of Vampires) who is a neurotic and bitchy dude, while Duke (The Duke of Vampires) is laid back.

Image result for gil

If it weren't for that amazing, kick-ass ending everything that came together like a knitted hat, this would have been a three stars.

Review to come soon!
Sep 09, 2009 rated it liked it
I really liked this book. Very fluffy, but a nice tone and funny. Makes fun of the vampire/werewolf genre that has become ridiculous lately with the swoony man-chests. Would recommend to people who like Christopher Moore and other tongue in cheek fantasy adventures.
Loved Loved Loved this book!

I am a big fan of campy fun novels. Books that make the unbelievable seem like, yeah.. ohkay... that could happen.

Meet two unlikely best friends: Earl (a vampire) and Duke (a werewolf). Throw in an all nite diner run by a very large, very spunky Lorreta. Sprinkle in a teenage wanna-be mistress of the old gods, a few ghosts, and a ton of zombies/ghouls and slimy, tentacled, oozing things, and you have yourself one helluva kick ass novel!

This was one of those books i j
Aug 16, 2008 rated it really liked it
Recommended to Chloe by: Lori Hettler
I'll be the first to admit that there's been a glut of books like this on my reading list lately. Humorous takes on horror archetypes seem to be all the rage right now, which is more than fine by me. They're quick, light and entertaining- just the break I need in between the other books that howl at me from the shelf, trying to guilt me into reading them next.

Gil's is a buddy adventure starring Earl the Vampire (think Dwight Yoakam with fangs) and Duke the Werewolf (think Jesse Ventura with fur)
Noran Miss Pumkin
May 01, 2008 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: No one ever! never to kids!!!!
Recommended to Noran by: good reads
Shelves: worst-bks
The first page had most of the 7 famous words, driving while drinking, and the phrase "yellow puddle formed around my groin". I really do not think this is a youth book! The curse words got worse from there, and graphic underage sex was also included. The obese werewolf, describes the fatty woman's butt. as it jiggles--like the last time he disemboweled someone--lovely. Just what we want to teach teens today to think about large people--new insults!

The only reason for a star is the lovely romanc
Apr 12, 2009 rated it really liked it
Shelves: horror
Melinda raised her head and uttered a low, haunting howl. The rest of the herd joined her in a bloodcurdling moan that seemed to bubble up from the sulfurous pit of Hell itself


Gotta love those zombie cows! Rockwood is sort of a Texas redneck version of Sunnydale with its own answer to the Hellmouth. Vampire Earl and werewolf Duke run out of gas in the God-forsaken county of Rockwood and offers to help Loretta, owner of Gil's All-Night Diner, solve her zombie problem. Bu
Feb 20, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: ha-read-from-tbr
How could this go wrong? Zombie cows, spontaneously combusting sheep, crazy ghost dog, a redneck werewolf and vampire, spells cast in Pig-Latin. This book had me in stiches.
Okay, that is the good. Now the downside. As a whole the plot and the main characters all needed polishing. At the end, I just felt this story could have been better.
ᴥ Irena ᴥ
Gil's All Night Diner is a weird place. It's way too big to be in Rockwood. 'Unfettered by the laws of normality, the unnatural ran rampant in Rockwood County.' Its owner, Gil, disappeared a while ago and nobody knows where he is. Today Loretta is the one who is managing the place and she needs all the help she could get. She and her shotgun can't keep up with all the zombies that have been trying to enter the place every night.
Enter Duke and Earl.
Being paranormal creatures themselves (werew
Jan 23, 2009 rated it liked it
Shelves: fantasy, humor, horror
A light, fun, though ultimately rather sophomoric read. The gratuitous cursing didn't bother me, but the author's treatment of female characters did-- out of the three main women in the book, one is a creepily oversexualized, underage evil-nymphet stereotype, and another is a waitress who, though a very sympathetic character, is overweight and therefore treated as disgusting and undesirable. (Interestingly, one of the main male characters is also passingly described as very large, yet somehow th ...more
Holly (The Grimdragon)
“Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface.”

Gil's All Fright Diner is a book I picked up on a whim. It was purely a cover buy! I mean, besides the fact that the creature on the cover looks like the one-eyed alien that lives in a purse from My Stepmother Is an Alien (a movie I grew up on and will always have a soft spot for), the book felt so good in my hands. Like a big floppy.. but small and in paperback format! The
3½ out of 5 stars

The writing is light, fast paced, and doesn't take itself or anything else seriously. It's funny at times and somewhat poignant at other times when you least expect it. The humor is not what I'd call sharp or hilarious, but it's absurd enough to carry the story through to the end and unusual enough to hold my attention.

A better review is posted at Wordpress and Booklikes.
Originally posted at The Book Nympho
Icon Read It Track It icon AUDIOBOOK icon snarky Icon Library Book

Read It, Track It is a way for me to track books for my reading challenges and they will be super short.
I've wanted to read Gil's All Fright Diner for a while now. My husband has it on his bookshelf but after I saw it was available on audio and that Fred Berman was the narrator I had to request it from the library.

Gil's All Fright Diner features an unlikely couple of friends, Earl (vampire) and Duke (werewolf). These two rednecks drive into town a
Nov 29, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: read-before-2020
1.5 stars
Feb 23, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Earl and Duke are just a couple of rednecks, driving along in their pickup truck minding their own business until one night when they pull into an all night diner. What they find is a diner owner with a bit of a zombie infestation problem. This doesn't fluster anyone nearly as much as one would expect since it seems that weird stuff isn't a new phenomenon in the small town. Did I mention that Earl is a vampire and Duke is a werewolf? And that they have their very own meet-cute story? Well, they ...more
Apr 07, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: library
What a fun read!!!! This would make a HILARIOUS movie. It's silly, it's goofy and has plenty of horror and gore to go around. It's marketed as a young adult novel, don't know if I would go that far...but it was just a good time. I read it in a day. I would like to see further adventures of Duke, Earl, Cathy and Napoleon. I liked this book so much I reserved a copy of A. Lee Martinez's In The Company of Orges.
Rebecca McNutt
Mar 28, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This book is hilarious! It reads very much like watching a retro drive-in movie and it's full of laugh-riot humor, exciting and creepy situations and likeable characters. Definitely worth reading if you're a fan of horror, comedy or adventure.
Gil's All Fright Diner was a fun, quick (or would've been; had I not kept forgetting it at home and thus lost 20 min x 2 commuting to work most days) read. It's most likely not something that I'll remember in a year's time, but it did leave me wanting to stock up on more by A. Lee Martinez for future reading slumps.

Actual review to come once inspiration strikes me.
“When you cross over into the weird stuff, there's no going back. Hector has a theory on it. Calls it the law of 'Anomalous Phenomena Attraction.' He explained it to me once. Didn't really pay attention, but it boils down to 'weird shit pulls in more weird shit.”

This was absurd and crazy. A teenage girl trying to bring on the apocalypse and a werewolf, a vampire and a ghost trying to prevent it. Sprinkled with zombies (including zombie cows!), ghouls, evil old gods and a lot of gore. Thankfully,
Literary Ames {Against GR Censorship}
Good lord, that was bad. But I can understand why some like it. The humour, frivolity and flippant nature of the characters towards all things supernatural just wasn't to my taste. Where were the disbelievers, those ignorant of the paranormal or the crazy fist-shaking fanatics hell-bent on ridding the world of evil doers?

Everything was designed to be quirky, to draw a laugh or a smile from the reader. From the melodramatic evil Lolita determined to take over the world any way possible, seducing
Stephanie (That's What She Read)
This didn't land with me as much as I wanted it to. I love book that poke fun at horror tropes and I thought I would get that with Duke and Earl and a vampire and werewolf who stop at Gil's All Night Diner for a bite to it, but stay to help out with the town's strange zombie problem. I had issues with the way fat characters were described, it was a little over-the-top and played for cheap laughs that weren't funny. The humor also fell flat for me, I chuckled a little bit at a teen girl using an ...more
Lisa Schensted
in a sentence or two: the funny journey of Earl the vampire, Duke the werewolf, Loretta the overweight waitress, and Cathy the ghost in their quest to rid the diner of zombies. and as if that isn't enough, a foxy teenager is trying to open the gates to hell right underneath their immortal noses.

Duke and Earl stumble upon the little diner in rockwood county (read: middle of nowhere). within minutes, they are defending the diner from zombies. the good news is, zombies aren't really that bad - just
Will review later, but allow me to tease you with this:

I had some issues with this book, but it was also one of the rare books where I felt it was sort of okay to let some things slide. Why? Because when a book is about:

zombies (human)
zombies (bovine)
teen sorceresses determined to end the world
horny teen minions
Ancient Gods
tentacled hell beasts
graveyard guardians (ghosts)
dead terriers (ghosts)
determined mini-golfers (ghosts)
obese werewolves (main character)
balding va
The Flooze
Feb 24, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Christopher Moore fans
Martinez's debut novel is a wild ride, at once horrific and hysterical. Despite what I've been taught, I judged this one by its cover and it lived up to my every zany expectation.

Earl, a scrawny vampire, and Duke, a hulking werewolf, stop off at a roadside diner for a bite, only to become entangled in a web of dark magic where things bite back. But zombie cows, cemetery guardians, ghostly dogs and spirits that reside in Magic 8 Balls aren't enough to deter this duo from doing their best to preve
Aug 04, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: comedic-horror
This is a fun book. It's about a vampire and a werewolf that try to stop Elder Gods.
And it's a comedy!
I think it's great, there's a lot of weird stuff in it but overall it's just a fun and rather silly book that is a really good read.

OK, it's been 4 years since I wrote this review. I should probably try and expand on why it's so good.
In short it's about a vampire and werewolf that are kind of stuck traveling together that stumble upon a small town that seems to have a bit of a zombie problem. T
Michael Reitema
Jul 07, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: everyone.
Recommended to Michael by: Paul
A vampire and a werewolf walk into a diner...

and an awesome book ensues.

I heard this book was not as good as the newer ones, which I loved as well, but this one is far superior. The humor is less forced, more natural in its delivery, and the writing is damned good, especially for a debut.

This is not high art, unless you consider entertainment art. But it is a simple, good read, something that makes the commute fly by, something that you'd take on a plane and not worry about the turbulence. I'd c
Mar 02, 2007 rated it it was ok
Shelves: sci-fi, bubblegumfic
Ian recommended this novel involving hillbilly vampires and werewolves and a diner. (Sci-fi; 250 pages)
rated it really liked it
Mar 23, 2007
rated it really liked it
Apr 08, 2007
rated it really liked it
Apr 08, 2007
rated it it was ok
Apr 09, 2007
May 10, 2007 rated it liked it
Shelves: young-adult, fantasy
Armageddon has hit the small desert town of Rockwood and all that stands in its way is a weary vampire named Earl, a hardened werewolf named Duke and Loretta, the formidable owner of Gil's, who refuses to back down even when faced with an army of zombies.

Recommended for readers who will appreciate a mashup of humor, horror and fantasy.
rated it it was ok
May 29, 2007
Jun 16, 2007 rated it really liked it
I picked this one up because it looked like a really schlocky B-movie-with-no-budget kind of thing, and, hey, that was what I was in the mood for at the time. Plot-wise that's kind of what it is, but I was absolutely amazed at how well written it was. I grew quite fond of the characters and really hoped that everything would work out well for them. As George Alec Effinger said, God's perfect meal is a cheeseburger with fries and a Coke; that what Gil's serves, with pecan pie for dessert.
Jun 18, 2007 rated it it was ok
There is no real twists or turns but there is some good spots.
rated it liked it
Jun 19, 2007
rated it it was amazing
Jun 26, 2007
Valerie Cooper
rated it really liked it
Jul 01, 2007
marked it as to-read
Jul 17, 2007
rated it liked it
Aug 09, 2007
added it
Aug 11, 2007
Aug 17, 2007 rated it liked it
Shelves: fantasy, humor, modernlit
This is a florid little beach read that hit it off a lot more successfully with my friends than it did with me. It's decidedly light for something that deals with blood-thirsty cult-of-personality figures, chthonic entities and a vampire-werewolf team up.

It all centers around Earl and Duke, a Vampire and Werewolf respectively. They, as supernatural entities, tend to draw a lot of freakish happenstances down on them simply by being, and as a result they're not surprised to find that the greasy sp
rated it it was ok
Aug 18, 2007
rated it liked it
Aug 20, 2007
marked it as to-read
Aug 24, 2007
rated it it was amazing
Aug 29, 2007
rated it really liked it
Aug 30, 2007
Sep 01, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Easy, off the cuff reading. Immensely enjoyable. I recommend it to anyone that just needs a smooth, funny, relaxing read.

Can't wait to delve into his new stuff.

rated it liked it
Sep 02, 2007
rated it it was ok
Sep 03, 2007
ShirleyUjest Ujest
rated it it was amazing
Sep 04, 2007
Jacob Jones-Goldstein
rated it really liked it
Sep 10, 2007
Sep 14, 2007 rated it really liked it
This book is not an intense read of any sort. It's purely fantasy with quite a bit of off-beat humor.

A vampire, werewolf, ghost and ghouls? This book wasn't quite as funny as Christopher Moore but I've already started to read "In the Company of Ogres".

A light, easy read and entertaining. I laughed out loud more than once!
Sep 18, 2007 rated it really liked it
I'm about 90% sure that this was a heartwarming tale.
John Nondorf
Sep 19, 2007 rated it really liked it
A fun change of pace vampire/werewolf story. A quick, amusing read.
Sep 22, 2007 rated it really liked it
Shelves: sophmore-yr
This is book is very interesting. It has many twists and turns. It is about a werewolf and a vampire who got hungry while on a road trip, they found a diner to stop by for a while and ran into a problem. The diner was constantly being attacked by mindless zombies. The owner offer them a price to help get rid of the zombies, but they found themselves fighting more than just zombies. The diner was a portal to summon the old gods and someone was trying to drive the owner out so they can summon the ...more
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A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.

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“When you cross over into the weird stuff, there's no going back. Hector has a theory on it. Calls it the law of 'Anomalous Phenomena Attraction.' He explained it to me once. Didn't really pay attention, but it boils down to 'weird shit pulls in more weird shit.” 39 likes
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