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You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity
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You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity

4.26  ·  Rating details ·  4,778 ratings  ·  493 reviews
Marriage is great, but it's not forever. It's until death do us part. Then come eternal rewards or regrets depending on how we spent our lives. In his latest book, Francis Chan joins together with his wife Lisa to address the question many couples wonder at the altar: How do I have a healthy marriage? Setting aside typical topics on marriage, Francis and Lisa dive into Scr ...more
Paperback, 191 pages
Published August 20th 2014 by Claire Love Publishing (first published January 1st 2014)
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Cora If you download the app (You and Me Forever by Crazy Love Ministries), it has a free copy of the book and you can download the audio version free as…moreIf you download the app (You and Me Forever by Crazy Love Ministries), it has a free copy of the book and you can download the audio version free as well. It asks you to sign up when you open the app but I think you can get to everything without signing up. (less)
Cora The book has questions at the end of each chapter to consider and think through so I don't know why you'd need a study guide but maybe it has more to…moreThe book has questions at the end of each chapter to consider and think through so I don't know why you'd need a study guide but maybe it has more to it. There are also free videos on the website where they go over each chapter/session. (less)

Community Reviews

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4.26  · 
Rating details
 ·  4,778 ratings  ·  493 reviews


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Matthew
Jun 24, 2018 rated it it was ok
I would have rated this book higher if the subject matter was as advertised. My wife and I decided to attend a marriage class at church and this was the accompying book. We have taken other courses at our church where the subject matter was on point with the reading materials providing key parts of scripture to emphasize the content (Dave Ramsey comes to mind). Instead, this book was all about the difficulties and struggles of being Christian with a little bit about marriage and family thrown in ...more
Noel Burke
Jan 05, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: marriage-family
I gave this book five stars because I have never been more challenged by a marriage book than by this one. It makes me wonder if I should go back and adjust the star rating on previous marriage books. This book was not your typical, "let's fight less and love each other more" kind of book. Sure it talked about that stuff, but the focus was on our first love, that being God. What does it mean to be a Christ follower and be married too? Do we stop being a committed Christ follower when we get marr ...more
Elizabeth
Sep 24, 2014 rated it it was ok
Shelves: marriage-books
As a former marriage blogger, I've read a lot of Christian marriage books. A LOT. Reading the tagline - "Marriage in light of eternity" - gave me hope that this one would be good. And while it certainly isn't awful and the Chans make some great points, it simply isn't a 4 or 5 star marriage book compared to the great ones that are currently on the shelves. It doesn't even come close to Keller's The Meaning of Marriage or Tripp's What Did You Expect? or Tim Kimmel's Grace Filled Marriage.

What I
...more
Josh Olds
Nov 09, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Francis and Lisa Chan’s latest book is being marketed as a marriage book—it’s even subtitled Marriage in Light of Eternity—but in reality (and I’ve got a sneaking suspicion the Chans realize this), this is more a book on living out your Christianity than improving your marriage.

I deeply admire Francis and Lisa Chan. Whenever I read Francis’s books or hear him teach, the first word that runs across my brain is passionate. The second is genuine. More so than almost any other Christian leader I kno
...more
V Lynn McCabe Jr
Oct 25, 2014 rated it it was amazing
"A Christ-centered marriage and eternity-minded marriage is not the same thing as a 'fun' marriage."
"Most marriage problems are not really marriage problems. They are God problems."
"If we don't stare at God, we'll spend our time staring at lesser things. Namely, ourselves."
"Our lives (and marriages) should make it believable that there is a God."
"Ultimate victory is knowing that you have honored Christ at any cost, and your conscience is at rest in His presence."
"Your best shot at having a beau
...more
Robin
Nov 27, 2015 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2015
Love and respect Francis Chan on many levels, however, this book should have been called 'Crazy Love 2' and not be called a book on marriage. I appreciate the call to kingdom living and that couples should focus on that instead of just marriage (amen!), but that's pretty much all this book says about marriage. The rich metaphor of what marriage points to was not explored at all. I was hoping for more depth. The book reads like he preaches---kind of all over the place. Don't get me wrong. Francis ...more
Cara Putman
Aug 05, 2017 rated it really liked it
A personally challenging perspective on marriage. Really made me think and consider what I am doing. The exercises at the end of each chapter are a great tool to evaluate your faith and your marriage.
Jeremy Smith
Nov 15, 2014 rated it liked it
Need to know if this is a book you should read?

Reasons this is not for you:
- If you are not a fan of Chan's past books, this reads just like them.
- If you want some practical marriage tricks, you won't find it here.
- If you are an individual that is reading this by yourself, there is not much for you.
- If you're looking to have more than a basic understanding of a Christ-centered marriage, then reading this book is just preaching to the choir.

Why you should read it:
- It's bold.
- It hits points t
...more
Claire
Jun 17, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: post-college, own-it
While I think this book was good and had some good themes for any Christian no matter their relational status, I think that this book could have just been entitled "Me Forever: Living in Light of Eternity" since most of it basically talked about the importance of living in light of eternity and not letting worldy things distract you. So, good thoughts, just not really much of a relationship book.
Joy
Sep 01, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Amazing book! Highly recommended!!
Chris Hokanson
Jan 25, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shallow theology and writing that talks down - often yells - at the reader. Presented as a book by both Chan and his wife, but her parts only make up about 10-15% of the content.
You'll like this book if: You really miss middle school church youth group.
Mary
Jul 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: to-read-again
SO good! Incredibly convicting! More focused on living for Christ as a married person than improving your marriage relationship. Powerful, life-changing message.
Todd Coburn
Nov 30, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian-living
This book has amazing insight for Christian couples on how to build a great marriage.

It is not like the other marriage help books. It's insight flies in the face of much of what I've seen taught in other books on marriage.

Yet the book has Biblical insight on marriage that is more useful and accurate than any other I have seen.

I suspect this book will be of little use to folks who are not Christians (Christians are folks who have surrendered to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and who earnestly
...more
pianogal
I like Francis Chan. I've never heard him preach, but I think he would be good to listen to. He always makes good points.
This book, however, was a little disappointing for two reasons. 1) It's really not about marriage. It's more about eternity and how marriage and family fits into that. Not bad, just not what I was expecting. And 2) Chan can get a little over the top of preaching to & converting the masses.

I get it. That's his gift. And I understand that people with that gift think it shou
...more
Rachelle Cobb
Oct 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I remember hearing about this title from a friend; she and her boyfriend were reading through it together and recommended it to me as a big-picture sort of book. That's exactly how I'd describe it, too. There are plenty of books with practical tips on approaching relationships; this is not one of them. Instead, the authors approach the subject of marriage as a temporary thing that serves a greater purpose. What is that greater purpose? What is marriage about anyway? What difference does a Gospel ...more
Matt
Jul 25, 2015 rated it liked it
You and Me Forever is not about marriage. It is about individuals seeking a relationship with Christ, with a sentence or two at the end of each chapter about how your spouse should seek the same relationship with Christ. Definitely not a bad book, but it simply isn't a marriage book. The one exception is the chapter about raising children in a Christian family. That chapter is spot on and I would give it 5/5 stars.
Josh Miller
Jun 01, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Quite different than most marriage books I have read. First and foremost, the authors point to a person's relationship to Jesus Christ as the greatest advice for a good marriage. Absolutely loved the approach to the subject matter! Not your typical "fluff" marital book on the market. I recommend this book for all married couples and anyone preparing for marriage!
Heather
Mar 14, 2017 rated it really liked it
Wow this book is so much more than for married couples. It challenges you to be a better Christian and your relationship with God first and how everything else falls in place. This is a you but not just a marriage book. Recommend for all to read. I read it slower just to get and think on the content within the pages.
Leah Beecher
May 18, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Ok, so this not very thick book took over a year to finish.
That is because I read it with my husband. Have you any idea how long it takes for parents who both work and have four children all under the age of 15 to find the time to read and finish a thought- provoking-note-jotting book? Fifteen months apparently, actually. I answered my own question.
What I loved about it:
#1 Francis Chan's opening chapter stating: "marriage is not that great"! Mind you this is not some modern progressive self-hel
...more
Doug Dale
Sep 16, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: christian, counseling
This book is good. It's just not Francis Chan good. I love almost everything Francis Chan puts out ("Crazy Love", the "BASIC" DVD series, etc.) so my hopes were very high for this marriage book from him and his wife. It didn't live up to my expectations. Again, it had a lot of good content, just nothing you could not get from other, often better, marriage books. I was hoping for more about marriage while living life on-mission for Christ. It's there, but not to the extent I was hoping for.

My wif
...more
C.G.
Apr 10, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2015-book-list
I don't like marriage books... but I've already purchased copies of "You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity" to give away during this marriage and anniversary season.

It's really not about marriage, it's about a personal relationship with Christ, and how that can, will, and should affect every area of your life. This isn't about, "date nights" and "how to change", it's about realizing that if you're where you should be with God, then your marriage (and your parenting) will fall into p
...more
Amy
Apr 18, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This is one of the best books I've read on marriage in a long time. The writing itself isn't spectacular or anything, but wow, the message is convicting and timely. Basically, it's a call to live with an eternal mindset. If we focus on Jesus'last command to make disciples and live for Him alone, this alone will improve our relationships all around! Everything on this earth is TEMPORARY, why do we strive and struggle through the mundane, instead of looking for daily, minute by minute opportunitie ...more
Kyle Robertson
Sep 03, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: christian-books
This is one of the best books about marriage and family I've ever read. It is well written and easy to read, but it really makes you stop and analyze your priorities in life. I like that each chapter has perspectives from both Francis and Lisa Chan, complete with copious scriptural references. They guide you through how to make each other a priority, how to fight effectively, how to make the most of your time together, and how to effectively provide your children a religious foundation. Each cha ...more
Katie Krombein
Jan 04, 2015 rated it it was amazing
This was a hard book to read because of the gravity of questions asked and the time spent praying over the subject matter of each chapter--for wisdom, for areas of personal conviction, for direction from God for what it would look like in our family practically....overall my only complaint is that it sets up an ideal and there aren't many practical examples of the outworkings. But I know my husband and I will continue praying and wrestling through what our life mission looks like. My fave chapte ...more
April
I had hoped that this book would be for couples already on board with living on mission together, but found that it's actually more about trying to convince already married folks to re-orient their inward-focused lives to God's mission. So I was really starting to get a "preaching to the choir" feel after awhile. I just wanted a grittier, deeper exploration of what it means to really go for it and live for the kingdom! The instructional videos were more helpful than the book.
Daniel Garnett
Nov 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing
My wife and I read this book together and this radically changed the way we look at marriage. In other words, marriage is not about us! It is about making Christ known through living obediently in a relationship with Him and when we do that then our marriage will grow as a result. I would recommend this book to any married couple and engaged couple.
Omar
May 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book is a strong plea for couples to realize that they must put God first in their lives and live in light of eternity. As they write: “Marriage-centered marriages have become accepted and applauded, instead of Christ-centered ones.” When we take our focus off of God, "Our lack of intimacy with God causes a void that we try to fill with the frailest of substitutes… like people, like marriage.

You can have a happy earthly marriage, and then be miserable for all eternity. This [book] is abo
...more
Nicole N. (A Myriad of Books)
There are a few reasons why I stay away from so-called "Christian" books, but it's been a while since I read anything non-fiction, let alone Christian. A few of my girlfriends and I picked this over C.S. Lewis's The Weight of Glory, Fitzpatrick's Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life, and For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards. We're all married. Seriously, I think that was the deciding factor. Oh, also, you can download the app and read the book ...more
Jonathan Beigle
Dec 16, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: marriage-family
I just can't read a Francis Chan book without thinking that I don't love Jesus enough! You and Me Forever is no exception. As many of the other reviewers have said, the title of the book suggests that it's a book on marriage, but it's not. It's really a book about how two people in a marriage can grow their faith and love for God.

Favorite quotes:
p. 20 - "Until you relate properly to God, you won't be much help to anyone else. People who aren't living well make matters worse by living together."
...more
Teri Sobeck
Feb 21, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: marriage
This was a super challenging book for me. I read it with my church small group and we used the video curriculum as well. I would definitely recommend going through this book with a group or at least another couple so you can talk things out, it really helps.
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1,743 followers
Francis Chan is an American pastor and teacher, who lives in California with his wife, Lisa, and their four children. He is the former pastor of Cornerstone Community Church in Simi Valley, CA, which he and his wife started in 1994.
“Marriage is one of the most humbling, sanctifying journeys you will ever be a part of. It forces us to wrestle with our selfishness and pride. But it also gives us a platform to display love and commitment.” 12 likes
“A strong woman has waited patiently while her roots grew down deep into the Word of God. Over time, she becomes unshakeable in her faith. She starts bearing fruit naturally and is full of life. People are attracted to her strength and growth, and many find rest and peace as they lean on her. And when storms and trials come, as they always do, they will not be able to take her down. A few branches may be lost or pruned away, but in their place comes new growth, new life. This is what I long to be! A strong woman who is anchored in God’s promises. But it starts by setting down your roots in God’s Word. It will not happen as you stand up for yourself, and demand attention, and fight for yourself. It will happen as you stand in Christ, and demand that He gets your attention, and fight for His glory. The beautiful thing is that as we pursue this, God takes His rightful place in our lives.” 8 likes
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