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Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood

4.12  ·  Rating details ·  1,747 ratings  ·  197 reviews
Parents need help to teach their teens how to make decisions responsibly--and do so without going crazy or damaging the relationship.

Parenting Teens with Love and Logic, from the duo who wrote Parenting with Love and Logic, empowers parents with the skills necessary to set limits, teach important skills, and encourage decision-making in their teenagers.

Covering a wide ra
Hardcover, 316 pages
Published May 3rd 2006 by NavPress Publishing Group (first published January 1st 1992)
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Average rating 4.12  · 
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 ·  1,747 ratings  ·  197 reviews

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Kirsten (
I am of two minds about this book and the approach. On one hand many of the principles are sound and have given me a calm framework for working through common issues with my teens. It is also a reminder that adolescence is a time to start granting your child greater autonomy. I do feel that the degree to which a parent can do that depends a lot on the child - and when the child betrays certain trusts sometimes they have to have some freedoms temporarily reduced. The options presented in the book ...more
Sandy  Kemp
Jun 23, 2013 rated it it was ok
Short on love. At various points it advocates throwing out teens because helping them might cost a lot of money, and telling your daughter you'd be bummed if she was raped and cut up because she got involved with a weirdo in a chat room. Craziness!

I also don't care for their religious views. I wish books that use a Christian or bible based philosophy would state that on the cover. The bible is not a good basis for parenting, in my opinion. So, that makes this a bit short on logic too.

I think the
Mar 19, 2013 rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Apr 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
There will come a point in time when “Because I said so” is no longer going to work. Your children will still love you – but they will no longer accept your value systems JUST because they love you. And in a few short years, they will walk out that door. Yes, you have been a good parent and “provided” for them all along. But have you “prepared” them for the rest of their lives? That’s the question this book makes you think about.

The title sounds cheesy, and the cover looks cheesy, yes. But I di
May 12, 2011 rated it it was ok
Good points: (which parents will hopefully already know)
1. Be consistent
2. Hold your teens responsible
3. Let natural consequences happen so your teen can learn from their mistakes

Things I also agree with:
1. Allowances are not related to doing chores
2. Negotiate curfews by occasion
3. Grounding is not really effective, especially if done repetitively

Reasons I won't recommend this book:
p. 64 - authors misrepresent and then slam the well-proven theory of positive reinforcement (which is not handing
Cindy Weatherford
May 25, 2009 rated it it was ok
Shelves: self-help
I'm suprised that this book got so many 4-5 star ratings. I completely disagreed with many of the principles this book teaches. What I got from this book is this: let your teenagers make their own decisions and live with the consequences, that will teach them responsibility. Hello! Isn't that what adulthood is? I quit reading when I got to this part: Three Messages for Teenagers 1. I love you. 2. If you have any questions, ask. 3. Good luck in life. Good luck? I don't think so. Teenagers should ...more
Jan 10, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: self-help
There were good principles in this book. There were areas that I definitely need to improve on. I do think this book is far too extreme. Letting your children learn to make their own decisions and learn from the consequences is a sound principle. Leaving them stranded somewhere to teach a lesson is extreme. Having open communication with your children is a sound principle. Telling them they might get raped and chopped up if they give out information in a chat room is extreme.

Another thing I didn
May 03, 2013 rated it it was ok
I had heard a lot about the Love and Logic method, but had never read any of the books. Since my two are teens, I decided to give this a try. While I did find myself agreeing with a lot of what the authors had to say about teens learning to make their own decisions (with guidance of parents, but in a way as not to be a dictator or helicopter parent) I found the examples of sample dialogue absolutely laughable. I can't see any teen talking to their parents that way. From my experience most teens ...more
Nov 11, 2007 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents
This books takes a load off the helicopter parent who thinks he should swoop down anytime anything happens to their child. An excellent book for new parents or parents of those little ones who are entering their teen years.
Feb 10, 2010 rated it it was amazing
OK I know I don't have any teens. I was reading it for my sister who DOES have teens, and I loved the concept so much that my husband is at the library RIGHT NOW picking up the Love and Logic book for younger kids. Can't wait to read it.
Jun 21, 2010 rated it it was amazing
Great principles. Common sense advice and good examples for how to work with teens/youth. I need to read the one for kids, but the same principles apply I'm sure, it's just giving them different freedoms and choices. Love this theory.
Dawn Wynn
May 07, 2013 rated it it was amazing
As the mother of four children, I highly recommend this book. Although I'm an avid reader, I unfortunately did not find this book until my third child was 17. It has been a life changer for our family. Whenever I am talking "kids" with people, I reference this book.
Jul 13, 2020 rated it did not like it
This book has many 5 star reviews and I honestly cannot figure out why. It opens with a story about a woman tricking her son into thinking he’s going to jail and tells the officer to put him in with pedophiles and sex abusers. That isn’t loving or logical, and I almost put the book down right then. Since I have several friends who love this book, I decided to keep reading.

The overall ideas such as not yelling, natural consequences, and giving teens responsibility make sense. But they don’t enco
Mar 26, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
I read the original Love and Logic book many years ago when my older kids were younger; I found it enlightening. Now that I have a teenager, this book was recommended as a refresher. There are some great reminders in there; specifically I appreciated the reminders to
1) turn more control over to my kids as they grow up
2) react calmly, with empathy and not anger
3) allow real consequences to follow their actions rather than imposing non-related punishments
It was valuable for these and other remind
May 12, 2018 rated it really liked it
Although the writing is not superb, I am giving this book four stars because I have begun using some of the techniques with success. Parenting teenagers is difficult and I tend to get emotional. I appreciate that this book helps one keep perspective on the natural course of events that leads toward independence and adulthood and provides language that allows the parent-child relationship to flourish at this time of transition.
Keilani Ludlow
Jun 15, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: other, life
I loved this book. I started implementing a lot of the "mannerisms" for lack of a better word right away and I saw a difference right away. I wasn't having lots of problems with my kids anyway, but hey, forewarned is forearmed, and good-enough really isn't good-enough, I want great! I am buying the book and will review it often. The first half goes through how to implement teaching kids through love and logic, what to do and how to do it and why to do it that way, with lots of actual case-study ...more
Sep 29, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
I have six children and half of them are teenagers. The older half. Which means adolescence is fairly new territory and that they are all my guinea pigs. More than anything, I want my parenting to be a positive experience for all of us (translation: as few scars as possible!). This book is exactly what I needed!

This book gave me tools to help settle conflict and conversational guides of gentle words to turn away wrath. High praise indeed!!

Even just summing it up for my husband has aided his pare
Feb 25, 2013 rated it did not like it
Not really helpful. I read the basic love and logic book so long ago I guess I needed a refresher before I started this one. They don't explain their technique enough. Most of their examples are so extreme that I'm not sure they really apply to more garden-variety teen problems. Though I guess they are designed to make you feel better about your kid? I liked their theory that parents need to turn into more of "consultants" as children age, asking questions and trying to make your children take t ...more
Mar 01, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I am giving this 2 1/2 stars not because the content was that bad but because I listened to this book on CD and had a very hard time paying attention. The man reading the book had a monotone voice and I found myself zoning out at times. However, I did pick up some good tips on improving communications with tween/ teens by encouraging them to figure out solutions to the problems that their behavior can sometimes cause (instead of figuring it out for them or doling out punishments). This allows te ...more
Oct 25, 2011 rated it really liked it
Good advice. I will have to keep this book eternally on my "to read" shelve since I will have to refer to it occasionally. I wish that there was section that said "If your child says/does this....., Here is what you can say/do in response....and here are the results you can expect" Maybe even better, someone could have a section for each type of child personality. Like, "the calm/good child", or "the child who has to test everything for themselves", or "the child who is impulsive", or "the child ...more
Stephanie Broyhill
Sep 25, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This is an incredibe book. I wish I had read it sooner. Cline explains the necessity of consistency. He discusses the danger of rescuing teens and how doing so threatens their maturity. The book discuses a variey of parenting styles with the pros and cons of each. Part 3, called Parenting Pearls was my favorite part. Practical solutions are offered for issues such as back talk, driving, curfews, dating, parties, internet, grades, money, music, and jobs, just to name a few.

I recommend this book t
May 03, 2013 rated it it was ok
Shelves: nonfiction
There were some good ideas in this book, but they were completely outweighed by the extremely hokey sample conversations. Not only that, some of the sample conversations were just downright offensive. Also, some of the ideas had no logical follow-through. Such as if you make a deal, or negotiate, with your teen and they don't hold up their end of the bargain, then what? Since you're not supposed to punish your teen, I'm not exactly sure what you are supposed to do. Throw them out on the street? ...more
Mar 05, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I will have my first teenager in a few months. Before reading this book I felt a little apprehensive about parenting a teen. After reading this book I feel excited and empowered. this book had a lot of common sense suggestions. It made me feel like I am already a good parent and have a lot to look forward to. For me it was the right book at the right time. I do not think it will solve all my problems but I feel much better equipped to face the challenges that await.
Chad Simons
May 07, 2018 rated it really liked it
Nothing groundbreaking included in these pages, but the way it is organized helps to make sense of good ideas to help with raising kids. It seems a touch out dated with the all the technology available for kids today, and some of the examples were very extreme, like examples of kids breaking the law and being in jail overnight, but overall I found this book to be helpful with some good ideas that I will try to implement in helping prepare my kids for life.
Mar 16, 2011 rated it liked it
I have heard a lot about this book through the teaching version "Teaching with Love and Logic"...after struggling with some parenting issues, this book really helped me be less angry and involved in the mistakes that my kiddos are working through right now...I have the "teaching" version checked out from the library currently...
Apr 26, 2016 rated it it was ok
I felt after finishing the book I took 2 helpful tips in the end. This book seems fashioned to religious white people having to deal with the grips of change in their children and the best ways to cope. So if you are a religious white person who is scared of their teenagers this is the book for you!
May 13, 2008 rated it it was amazing
This has greatly helped me in dealing with my teenager. A no-nonsense approach to putting up with the arguments, attitude, and negative behavior in a positive way. This sits on my night-stand for quick reference on a daily basis!
Jan 27, 2015 rated it liked it
Some good ideas and advice. A tad outdated on references, especially because electronics are such a huge part of my battle with my teens. Worth reading, but not the miracle balm to ease my parent-to-teenagers soul.
Mar 19, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
However this is not an audio it's a text book, As with the other Love and Logic books, I wish I had found these writers sooner, but excellent!!!
Aug 20, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Profoundly practical when you have a teen at home.
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