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Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

4.12  ·  Rating details ·  5,403 ratings  ·  896 reviews
Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years Let Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D., help you start your child off on the right foot. The tools in Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood will give you the building blocks you need to create children who grow up to be responsible, successful teens and adults. And as a bonus you will enjoy every stage of your child's life and loo ...more
Paperback, 200 pages
Published January 1st 2010 by Love & Logic Press (first published 2000)
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Average rating 4.12  · 
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 ·  5,403 ratings  ·  896 reviews

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Apr 12, 2008 rated it it was ok
Wow.... Okay, so there are a couple (I mean literally two) of key points that work for my parenting style. However, there are some big red flags that come up for me personally. I know this is a popular method with many people so will keep my opinions close this time. Happy to talk individually w/ anyone about it though.
**Sorry, had to add a note after reading the reviews and some
great information on Psychology Today's website / magazine. I feel that I took a bit of a cowardly exit by keeping my
Jan 29, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting-family
This book has a lot of great ideas. I think the technique is pretty good, and they write it in an easy-to-use way. However, it was so obnoxious to read that I could barely stomach the first half of the book. After that I got over the annoyance and just gleaned the good techniques. The Fays seem to be high on their own theory. They even make comments such as "Is it possible that there would be no such thing as the United States of America if King George had known about Love and Logic?" Barf! The ...more
Feb 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I'm not even done yet, but it's life-changing. I really love this book. Take it with a grain of salt and some prayer (like any parenting advice), but for quite a while I feel like I've been running into a brick wall with my parenting - it's not quite what I want (I get angry and frustrated way to easily and just plain don't like who I become in those moments), but I had no exact strategy to change my parenting/discipline techniques, so always ended up back in the same boat.
Enter this book, and
What I liked about this book:
- its clear outline and need for enforcable statements and rules, and the need to set limits and boundaries for your child
- its emphasis on staying calm, being positive and loving, even in a difficult situation
- its emphasis on teaching consequences and helping your kids learn to think
- suggesting to give lots of choices and sharing power/control where you can

What I didn't like:
- pretty much everything else. I particularly hated the tone of the Authors. They sounded
Jun 05, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: ANYONE
Recommended to Meg by: my dad (marriage and family counselor)
That's right! Another book that receives a rare 5-star rating from Meg! If you have children, or if you work with children, or if you've heard of children before, do yourself a favor and read this book NOW. All the Love & Logic books are amazing, but this one is packed with concrete examples and conversations with young kids... instead of just a bunch of theoretical mumbo-jumbo. I'm terrified to think how much worse a parent I would be if I hadn't read it. ...more
Jan 20, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Great parenting book! I agree with a lot of what they advocate. A few things I gleaned from it:
-Replace anger and frustration with empathy.
-Replace threats and warnings with simple actions (stop talking the talk so much and just walk the walk).
-Set limits you can enforce.
-Give away the control you don't need (give your kids lots of opportunities to choose).
-Point out your kids' interests that you notice, and resist the urge to follow it up with "That's great!". Let them have their interests with
Jun 04, 2009 rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenting
Ideas from this book I liked: 1. Let the consequence for your chid's actions be the (primary) teacher (that is, don't lecture, just act). 2. Always discipline with empathy. 3. Don't let your child see your anger or frustration when they misbehave. If you lose control it tells your child they're unmanageable, which makes them feel insecure. 4. Encourage your child to think through problems and find solutions for themselves. 5. Hand over any control you don't absolutely need to your child, so that ...more
Dec 02, 2018 rated it it was ok
Love and Logic have been offering parental advice for awhile now (since the 70s) They likely are the people most responsible for creating the idea of a 'time out'. They are without a doubt the people who coined the term 'helicopter parent'. They advertise that they are the parental teaching system Bill Gates uses for his kids (I don't care what Bill Gates does. I want to know what his parents did, right?).

Like Dave Ramsey, I feel obligated to mention that they are faith-based. That doesn't neces
Apr 10, 2014 rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenthood
This was picked for my daughter's Montessori school book club of parents and teachers; fortunately, the lead teacher wasn't enamored with this book either.

My first issue is the barrier--the first hoop, the first swoon or sorrow--I will always have with a book: the writing style. And in this case, it's miserable. There's a weird, used-car salesman grin behind every sentence, and most of the points the authors raise come with a completely asinine scenario with unrealistic conclusions. "And then th
Aug 12, 2011 rated it liked it
aside from the overly and ridiculously (at least to me with MY kids) unrealistic examples of love and logic at work with young kids, i actually thought the basic principles of love and logic make a lot of sense. i especially liked the idea that actions speak louder than words -- you don't need to give a million warnings, just one and then act on the consequence. i also appreciated the concept that you don't need to act in anger or frustration, but just put the kid in their room for as long as it ...more
Nov 17, 2011 rated it it was ok
The central idea of this parenting book (and the Love and Logic system) is a good one: instead of solving all their problems, let your children learn from natural consequences, helping them develop logic on their own. For example, if Bear throws food at dinner, dinner should be over, and I should let him go hungry for a little while. Good plan. I just don't think it necessarily works for every single scenario, especially through toddlerhood. I don't think he's ready for adult-like logic, especia ...more
Kris Patrick
May 31, 2016 rated it liked it
I could lead with a number of jokes here but they would make zero sense to someone unfamiliar with Love & Logic. How sad.
Ok... I couldn't control myself. ;)
Esther Nevener
Jun 18, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2020
This is a great practical guide to the love and logic philosophy. I read Parenting with Love and Logic first and found it was hard to apply to my toddler. I would recommend that book for parents of school age kids. This book, however, helped apply the same philosophy to toddlers. It gave plenty of examples and stories which made the concepts easier to grasp. I would say about half of this book was gold and the other half I felt was dated. This book is very helpful for ages 3-6 but I would say th ...more
Aug 04, 2016 rated it did not like it
Update review written on December 3, 2019:

Believe it or not, among all of the horrors and tragedies in the world right now, the fact that I gave this book 5 stars has been keeping me up at night. I reviewed this book when I was pregnant, and 3 years later, I have not found anything in it to be helpful in raising a real child with real emotions and a real attachment to mom and dad.

My problem with the love and logic method is the emotional and relational detachment that it requires. Maybe this is
Lisa Wuertz
Aug 25, 2010 rated it liked it
I liked this book, but I think that the subtitle is totally off: "Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years." More like from 3 to the teenage years. While there are a few things the authors address that are applicable to infants and anyone under the age of three, most of it is not.

Other problems I have with this book:
-It definitely reads like a cheesey self-help book. Complete with catch phrases, one-liners, and mantras. These kinds of things annoy me.
-There is a lot of emphasis placed on "se
Nov 02, 2007 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: parents
Shelves: parenting
[update after thinking about this a long time and worrying that I gave the wrong impression to everyone who got this email update originally]
So I have a really hard time assigning a rating to this book. The philosophy itself should get a five, because I think it is a fabulous philosophy. But the explaining of the philosophy should get a one or two, because this is hands down the most disorganized book I've ever read.

I repeat, though: the philosophy should get a five, and I'm looking into hiring
Jul 20, 2010 rated it it was amazing
This little book is the clearest introduction I've found to the Love and Logic parenting system, an excellent system that is adaptable to situations including parenting, step-parenting, co-parenting, teaching, and counseling.

The system is based on empathy, natural & logical consequences, and helping kids make age-appropriate decisions on their own---so that they take on increasing levels of responsibility for themselves and move towards healthy interdependence. Although this book uses examples
Jan 10, 2012 rated it liked it
I just wish this had really been geared more at EARLY childhood. like, starting at age 2. That's what I assumed it would be from the title and I was hoping for more tips about dealing with issues that arise from with my 2 year old. But there was only one chapter-one!- dedicated to ages 3 and under. I like a lot of the ideas and philosophies in this book but I think it's titled incorrectly to try to gear towards a different audience than their other books. I guess I will revisit it in a couple of ...more
Natalie Cornish
Feb 27, 2014 rated it liked it
The concepts offered in this book seem simple, but they are difficult to remember in the heat of the moment. Take the authors advice and master one concept before adding another. I still don't know if this will work for my family, but it is worth a try!
Mar 12, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
This was a decent book. It reads quickly and doesn't overwhelm readers -- most likely parents -- with techniques that cover everything. This is really a disciplining technique that the authors believe helps to create wisdom that will last into adulthood. There's a Tao-ish simplicity to this that I can appreciate, and to be honest getting frustrated and arguing with my kid all the time doesn't work well so hey, if someone has a method they think works well, I'm all for it. Moreover, it does invol ...more
Nov 25, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: aborted-read
This book is worth reading, especially for modern parents with trouble enforcing boundaries.

It's not very in fashion, though, because it's been superseded by "positive parenting," although in my humble opinion, the two overlap and also share similar flaws.

The summary of L&L is that you give your kids choices, and if they don't choose whatever aligns with your preference, well, they deal with the consequences that you pre-define for them.

For example, "You can keep all the toys you clean up" me
Aug 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
At first I thought the examples of how the kids responded were really unrealistic- or at least unrealistic unless you've been trying the methods for awhile. But as I read along, it really has practical and powerful parenting techniques. I want to give my child choices, follow through, and come across with empathy. I want my child to be able to contribute as a family with chores. I want to help encourage my child to think through options. I will be reading this book again and taking some practica ...more
Jillian Vincent
Nov 04, 2018 rated it really liked it
We are in the exact stage for this book right now. My pediatrician recommended it to me and I will start to highly recommend too. It was simple, which we need, but sets a foundation for later in growing up too. It gave me the words and actions to use when misbehavior starts, and eliminates some of the stress and anger at the situation. My critique is that it is missing the gospel, so there will need to be conversations about sin and grace added to this. Also some of the examples I would never do ...more
Sep 10, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, parenting
Our elementary staff is using Love & Logic for professional development this year so reading this book was two-fold. One, I thought it would really help me learn more "L&L" lingo and two, it might actually help me as a parent of a two year old.

Overall, I found the book really useful. I think being familiar with Love & Logic helped-- and I might recommend reading a more basic L&L book before this one. I felt like this book assumed that the reader had some prior knowledge of L&L before reading th
Mar 13, 2013 rated it really liked it
Over all, I like the Love and Logic philosophy. I think it can be hard to apply without sounding sarcastic, and I don't think it fixes everything, but for the most part, I think it's good.
A word about the energy drain, which seems to be a major complaint of this book. When I think of natural consequences for temper tantrums, bickering, and general disrespect, here's the honest to God truth, when my kid acts that way, the natural consequence is that I don't want to be around him. And that's the
Nov 28, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
Really helpful for me. Easy, fun to read, super helpful tips. A few to remember:

1. Give young children lots of options (all of which work for you). This has been super helpful. My toddler will initially say no, but when I turn the proposition into a choice, she'll happily choose one of the two options.

2. Using empathy instead of anger. Instead of losing your temper, saying, "This is so sad." My toddler has responded really well to my using more empathy, not surprisingly.

3. The towel trick. Nothi
Sep 19, 2015 rated it really liked it
Recommended by my sister after I told her how I was starting to feel exhausted by all the decisions and disciplining during the day of my almost-two-year-old. 90% of the time, everything was great, but when it wasn't, it was emotionally and physically draining for him and me. I felt like I was constantly being "the bad guy." I'm glad to read about this method because it mostly describes what I want to do (act, with love, not talk or lecture) and helps me figure out how to get there. And my son i ...more
Jan 30, 2012 rated it liked it
I quickly skimmed over this book and found a few helpful tips. I know several friends who use the Love and Logic system in their home. I've always heard positive things. I'm trying to give my children more options throughout the day so they have more choices. I feel like such a dictator most of the time. This has helped them feel more in control and then they seem to recognize when it's my choice, they need to agree to it since I've agreed to their choices throughout the day. I also feel like I ...more
Mar 06, 2013 rated it really liked it
I don’t read many how-to parenting books, but Gage has some behavioral issues and another mother recommended this to me.

Here’s what I liked

This really will help make dealing with misbehavior easier. You let go of the anger by feigning sincere empathy for your toddler/hellion. After only a few days of trying some of these techniques my blood pressure hasn’t spiked once

I like the philosophy behind it. All that love and empathy has to be good, right?

Concrete examples of what to do in a (limited
Tanya W
Apr 13, 2009 rated it it was amazing
This is a really great parenting book for those with young children. Applying a simple principle in this book has enabled me to see a big change in just a couple of days in my 1 1/2 year old son's behavior. The Uh-Oh song is an amazing conditioning tool... when I look at my baby who is touching or doing something he shouldn't, I look at him and say Uh-Oh and start the song... he quickly moves away from what is forbidden and finds something else to do.

This is a relief since he is such a curious
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