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How to Love

(Mindfulness Essentials #3)

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4.31  ·  Rating details ·  8,224 ratings  ·  613 reviews
The third title in Parallax’s Mindfulness Essentials Series of how-to titles by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, How to Love introduces beginners and reminds seasoned practitioners of the essentials of mindfulness practice. This time Nhat Hanh brings his signature clarity, compassion, and humor to the thorny question of how to love and distills one of our strongest emotions dow ...more
Paperback, 128 pages
Published December 30th 2014 by Parallax Press (first published December 22nd 2014)
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David Silver Even beginner meditation requires quiet, focus, and solitude. The dedication to 100% focus of the Buddha before his enlightenment required much more. …moreEven beginner meditation requires quiet, focus, and solitude. The dedication to 100% focus of the Buddha before his enlightenment required much more. His wife and son rejoined him, spent their lives with him becoming disciples soon after his enlightenment and were accomplished masters themselves over time.(less)
ArtPol Assay I also would like to know what people think. I read True Love a long time ago. Brainpickings has a good intro paragraph in its synopsis of How to Love…moreI also would like to know what people think. I read True Love a long time ago. Brainpickings has a good intro paragraph in its synopsis of How to Love. https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/03...(less)

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Dr. Appu Sasidharan
Aug 18, 2019 rated it really liked it
In this third book, the author teaches us the importance of loving ourselves and others. According to him, connecting to people, we love means connecting to the universe.

There are a set of meditations that can be done with our partner to understand more about our love in this book.


My favorite three lines from this book.
“A true partner or friend is one who encourages you to look deep inside yourself for the beauty and love you’ve been seeking.”

“Other people’s actions are the result of t
...more
Abbey
Jun 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Can this be required reading for everyone in the world?
Heidi The Reader
Sep 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Thich Nhat Hanh, monk and spiritual leader, has written a short series of books he calls "Mindfulness Essentials." This entry is all about love. You might ask yourself, what could a monk possibly know about love? Turns out, plenty.

Hanh applies the mindfulness techniques he's learned over his lifetime of spiritual practice to the potentially thorny pathways of love, and the result is a gem of a read.

He counsels lovers to bring happiness to each other through being present in the moment and sharin
...more
Sunny Yoo
Apr 02, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Thich Nhat Hanh is so wise and deep. I love how this book is broken down into multiple sections and titles, allowing readers to be mindful of what they are reading. I recommend that you buy a copy instead of borrowing one. This book is easy to navigate through and I am glad because I will be revisiting it often.

Throughout the book, I was forced to reflect about my past relationships and my current relationships, both romantic and non-romantic. I started to realize the mistakes I made. The times
...more
Nick
Jan 26, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I am a beginner, trying to learn every day how to love a bit better. This book, by a famous Zen master, is a gentle, optimistic guide to the strangeness and the mystery of love, and I recommend it highly.
Ken
The biggest of the little books in this 5-part series (gee, I wonder why?), and yet, for me at least, less novel than the first two I read. Not that I've figured it ALL out on my own or that I would put it quite this way ("Tell it slant, like a Buddhist would."), but if you've been married long enough and your marriage is humming along, you get to the point where you've covered as much territory as Lewis and Clark.

One nice point of emphasis is letting go of our infatuations with "self" (would Do
...more
K Flewelling
It is difficult to review a book like this. This book is composed of sweet morsels of truth, and statements meant to ponder. It is not something that you need to read quickly -- but I did read it quickly. It brought tears to my eyes, convicted my heart, gave me practical tools and meditations to practice. But that's all it can do. It is up to the reader to be changed. Some of the sections had a powerful impact, others not as much. I imagine if I were to re-read this short book, I would be attrac ...more
Bianca A.
Jan 26, 2021 rated it it was ok
Shelves: speed-read, 2021
Typical Eastern philosophy. Makes a few good conclusions but the argumentation for them is terrible and unscientific. It kind of relies on the reader just trusting the author that what they say is true and that's that. Couldn't really get into it. ...more
Jen - The Tolkien Gal
The Buddhist meaning of mindfulness is to know the mind and to be aware of its capacity. It means to pay attention in a very particular way to the mind and the body as well as the experience of daily life. When an awareness of the present moment is cultivated, intention becomes clear.

Sometimes you need something to remind you how to love and how to appreciate your significant other. Sometimes, shit hits the fan - but it is not the end. That's the problem with people these days. We give up on ot
...more
Madelyn Hernández
Nov 25, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I need to practice Hugging Meditation.

"When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings. Hugging with mindfulness and concentration can bring reconciliation, healing, understanding, and much happiness. The practice of mindful hugging has helped so many people to reconcile with each other -fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, friends and friends, and so many others. You may practice hugging meditation with a friend, your daughter, your father, your even with a tree
...more
Jae
The last in this series of short books on mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh, and just like the other books in this series it is written with simplicity and elegance. Each chapter is very short, only 1 or 2 pages followed by a small line drawing - easy to digest and meditate upon. A series of little gems.
Paula Cappa
May 29, 2015 rated it really liked it
This little book (would make a charming gift) is so clear with thoughts about love and happiness. Example: "If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all." I've actually not thought about this idea until I read it on page 106. We do learn happiness or unhappiness from our parents. I felt compelled to take this thought with me for the afternoon and really examine it and personalize it within my life. There are many thoughts like this that stopped me because they ring a ...more
Guy Choate
Apr 15, 2016 rated it it was ok
Shelves: philosophy
I'm a firm believer that the love people share is unique to those people and its parameters can't be generalized. I cringe when someone tells me that because they understand love, they understand the love I have created and share...even if that person is clearly thoughtful and wise in other areas. ...more
MJKF
Feb 03, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Thích Nhât Hahn has written another amazing little book full of wisdom. The small sections are powerful, truthful, and thought provoking.
Carolt_reads
Apr 05, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2021
I read this book for my "reading Lana Condors favourite books" video! check out the video for my live reactions and review! ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwgVw...
...more
Priyanka Sharma
May 30, 2020 rated it it was ok
Quite reflective, discreet and thoughtful but it’s a beginner’s guide to love. Anyone who reads advanced books about Buddhism and spirituality might find it very repetitive and generic.
A common reader
May 20, 2021 rated it liked it
Very beautiful what he writes, but not very realistic in my opinion.
Meg
Feb 16, 2022 rated it liked it
Sweet, easy read but pretty redundant
Neeraj Chavan
Mar 14, 2021 rated it really liked it
Stumbled upon this book after I read an excerpt of it in an article written on BrainPicker. This is a beautiful book on how to practise mindfulness in love and the relationships of our life. Also, a short and sweet read!
Huy Pham
May 19, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: mindfulness
I couldn't put the book down the moment I opened it. This is a very simple book on how to love, cherish someone, overcome sufferings and understand our partners more. I thought I knew all those things before, but I was wrong.

I took a slow but closer step in reminding myself of taking time to breathe and appreciate every moment I have with people I love, and that arguments and conflicts only keep people apart.

I believe that this book will help you understand people better, especially if you're in
...more
Laura
Mar 26, 2019 rated it liked it
I think there was a lot of wisdom in this little book and I got a lot out of it. I have found mindfulness to be a very positive force in my life.
My biggest concern is that the book didn't address clearly when compassion and deep listening cannot change or maintain a relationship if you're with an abusive partner.
I also question Thich Nhat Hanh's stance that crushes and sex without commitment are going to leave you feeling empty and lonely. I think that could be the case but as a person who is v
...more
Preethi Krishnan
Aug 30, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: spirituality
I keep coming back to this sentence in this beautiful book.

"One of the greatest gifts we can offer people is to embody nonattachment and nonfear. This is a true teaching, more precious than money or material resources. Many of us are very afraid, and this fear distorts our lives and makes us unhappy. We cling to objects and to people like a drowning person clings to a floating log. Practicing to realize nondiscrimination, to see the interconnectedness and impermanence of all things, and to shar
...more
J.M.
This is a mesmerizing book on mindfulness in relationships with our loved ones. This gave me plenty to think about and to do in terms of how to bring peace to myself during a depressive time. This book is especially useful for people in relationships that have grown apart or are in the process of growing apart, yet it also will assist one in how to expand their own capacity to love. For me, this was a perfectly-timed five-star read.
Undrakh
Aug 26, 2018 rated it really liked it
'How to Love' was like a gentle fresh breeze which carried words of love and compassion all the way from other side of the world. Want to read these wonderful passages again and again.

"The more you understand, the more you love; the more you love, the more you understand."

...more
Katrina Sark
Mar 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing
p.10 – Understanding is the Nature of Love – Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.

p.11 – Recognizing True Love – True love gives us beauty, freshness, solidity, freedom, and peace. True love includes a feeling of deep joy that we are alive. If we don’t feel this way when we feel love, then it’s not true love.

p.13 – Love is Expansive – The moment love stops growing, it begins t
...more
Cherie Kephart
Mar 13, 2022 rated it it was amazing
A simple little book with complex teachings, How to Love brings together all the aspects of love that could use our attention. From making mistakes, to loving communication, to healing and meditations, Thich Nhat Hanh delivers masterful prose and beautiful wisdom for us all to learn from. This is a book I will explore again and again. Thank you, Thay, for your heart.
Pedro Veloso
Mar 30, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Small little book, with short advice from a famous Vietnamese monk on mindfulness and love. Most of it is self-evident, yet a good read as an exercise on checking up my own actions.
S.
Unexpectedly one of the few real parenting books. I guess that the other few I read were more less after kids were out, but this one emphasizes on reaching a good level of self-control, mindfulness (again), compassion and empathy as you consider the idea of having kids. Pretty awesome, and encompasses all forms of love, the real one! You name it it's there!
Again, deep listening is a must, and you shouldn't be surprised it is!
...more
Melissa Jung
Jun 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing
On my own in Denver and read this quickly at a bookstore -- simple yet powerful with messages I'll likely revisit again and again. "So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself." ...more
Virgin Davis
Nov 06, 2020 rated it it was amazing
"Understanding someone's suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love's other name." ...more
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Thích Nhất Hạnh was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist who now lived in southwest France where he was in exile for many years. Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen (Vietnamese: Thiền) monastery at the age of 16, and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary ...more

Other books in the series

Mindfulness Essentials (9 books)
  • How to Sit (Mindfulness Essentials, #1)
  • How to Eat (Mindfulness Essentials, #2)
  • How to Walk (Mindfulness Essentials, #4)
  • How to Relax (Mindfulness Essentials, #5)
  • How to Fight
  • How to See
  • How to Connect (Mindfulness Essentials Book 8)
  • How to Focus (Mindfulness Essentials, #9)

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Here at Goodreads World Headquarters, we're always on alert for any shifts in readerly attention that we can spot. Recently we've noticed a...
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“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.” 62 likes
“Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.” 49 likes
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