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How to Love

(Mindfulness Essentials #3)

4.40  ·  Rating details ·  3,762 ratings  ·  317 reviews
The third title in Parallax’s Mindfulness Essentials Series of how-to titles by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, How to Love introduces beginners and reminds seasoned practitioners of the essentials of mindfulness practice. This time Nhat Hanh brings his signature clarity, compassion, and humor to the thorny question of how to love and distills one of our strongest emotions dow ...more
Paperback, 128 pages
Published December 30th 2014 by Parallax Press (first published December 22nd 2014)
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Tran Le I guess for everything you do for a greater good, there must be sacrifices. Let's take this as an example, if you want to pass the test, should you go…moreI guess for everything you do for a greater good, there must be sacrifices. Let's take this as an example, if you want to pass the test, should you go study or should you join the party you've been longing for months? It's tempting but you must choose only one because the two options are simply incompatible, you probably cannot study while you're in a party having fun and being wild!
It's similar to how Buddha must choose between his belief and his family. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is that life is suffering because we suffer from physical and mental pain through a variety of emotional expression: fear, embarrassment, diseases, getting old, death, etc. and that we could not truly be happy because eventually, deaths will come. He believed that as long as his life is attached with others' lives, neither he nor his family will find an answer to end suffering. Even though, he surely loved his wife and child, he must make sacrifice.
And I believe perhaps that is an example of how to love.
His sacrifice perhaps, was for better. He has unbounded his love for his family to make it become a greater love. The love for all, not personally but universally.
(According to the "Buddhist Bible", his wife and his child later followed his path to end suffering)
These are my thoughts, this question is so interesting because it sounds contradicting but I hope my answer could resolve your concern.(less)

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 ·  3,762 ratings  ·  317 reviews

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Jun 22, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Can this be required reading for everyone in the world?
Sunny Yoo
Apr 02, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Thich Nhat Hanh is so wise and deep. I love how this book is broken down into multiple sections and titles, allowing readers to be mindful of what they are reading. I recommend that you buy a copy instead of borrowing one. This book is easy to navigate through and I am glad because I will be revisiting it often.

Throughout the book, I was forced to reflect about my past relationships and my current relationships, both romantic and non-romantic. I started to realize the mistakes I made. The times
Jan 26, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I am a beginner, trying to learn every day how to love a bit better. This book, by a famous Zen master, is a gentle, optimistic guide to the strangeness and the mystery of love, and I recommend it highly.
K Flewelling
It is difficult to review a book like this. This book is composed of sweet morsels of truth, and statements meant to ponder. It is not something that you need to read quickly -- but I did read it quickly. It brought tears to my eyes, convicted my heart, gave me practical tools and meditations to practice. But that's all it can do. It is up to the reader to be changed. Some of the sections had a powerful impact, others not as much. I imagine if I were to re-read this short book, I would be attrac ...more
Paula Cappa
May 29, 2015 rated it really liked it
This little book (would make a charming gift) is so clear with thoughts about love and happiness. Example: "If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all." I've actually not thought about this idea until I read it on page 106. We do learn happiness or unhappiness from our parents. I felt compelled to take this thought with me for the afternoon and really examine it and personalize it within my life. There are many thoughts like this that stopped me because they ring a ...more
Undrakh Ganzorig
Aug 26, 2018 rated it really liked it
'How to Love' was like a gentle fresh breeze which carried words of love and compassion all the way from other side of the world. Want to read these wonderful passages again and again.

"The more you understand, the more you love; the more you love, the more you understand."

Feb 03, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Thích Nhât Hahn has written another amazing little book full of wisdom. The small sections are powerful, truthful, and thought provoking.
Huy Pham
May 19, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: mindfulness
I couldn't put the book down the moment I opened it. This is a very simple book on how to love, cherish someone, overcome sufferings and understand our partners more. I thought I knew all those things before, but I was wrong.

I took a slow but closer step in reminding myself of taking time to breathe and appreciate every moment I have with people I love, and that arguments and conflicts only keep people apart.

I believe that this book will help you understand people better, especially if you're in
Mady Hernández
Nov 25, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I need to practice Hugging Meditation.

"When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings. Hugging with mindfulness and concentration can bring reconciliation, healing, understanding, and much happiness. The practice of mindful hugging has helped so many people to reconcile with each other -fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, friends and friends, and so many others. You may practice hugging meditation with a friend, your daughter, your father, your even with a tree
Katrina Sark
Mar 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing
p.10 – Understanding is the Nature of Love – Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.

p.11 – Recognizing True Love – True love gives us beauty, freshness, solidity, freedom, and peace. True love includes a feeling of deep joy that we are alive. If we don’t feel this way when we feel love, then it’s not true love.

p.13 – Love is Expansive – The moment love stops growing, it begins t
Dec 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing
so good. always. such a slim volume, cut me to the core.
Melissa Jung
Jun 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing
On my own in Denver and read this quickly at a bookstore -- simple yet powerful with messages I'll likely revisit again and again. "So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself."
Ben Schnell
Mar 25, 2019 rated it really liked it
“Understand someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand you can’t love.”
Lucas Carlson
May 12, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
To be read over and over again

So many books about Buddhism are hard to relate to because they are written for another culture. I love how he talks about checking email on your iPhone and makes Buddhists thoughts more accessible.
Emily Graham
Jun 30, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: wtb
This is the sort of book I would have ruthlessly mocked in high school and college, but now the ideas contained seem so, so important on an essential level.
Gabriel Avocado
Jun 02, 2019 rated it really liked it
taking one whole star off for tricking me into thinking that this was a reflection on the nature of love rather than a buddhist self help book. (can you tell i dont read reviews before starting a new read?) but if youre into that sort of self help thing, its actually pretty good. in general i think mindfulness is far more effective than the usual positive thinking that self help gurus throw at us. mindfulness is a skill and a very useful one at that.

my main 'problem,' if you want to call it that
Mar 26, 2019 rated it liked it
I think there was a lot of wisdom in this little book and I got a lot out of it. I have found mindfulness to be a very positive force in my life.
My biggest concern is that the book didn't address clearly when compassion and deep listening cannot change or maintain a relationship if you're with an abusive partner.
I also question Thich Nhat Hanh's stance that crushes and sex without commitment are going to leave you feeling empty and lonely. I think that could be the case but as a person who is v
Haley Corkery
Jan 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
“Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.”

Short. Sweet. Simple. Serene.

Thich Nhat Hanh is more than a Zen master. He is a wise, gentle, and rare human being. "How to Love" discusses just that. How to love, how to understand our partner, ourselves, how to cherish others and the world around us, and how to overcome struggles and suffering. Simple yet powerful.

“Every person is a wo
This is a mesmerizing book on mindfulness in relationships with our loved ones. This gave me plenty to think about and to do in terms of how to bring peace to myself during a depressive time. This book is especially useful for people in relationships that have grown apart or are in the process of growing apart, yet it also will assist one in how to expand their own capacity to love. For me, this was a perfectly-timed five-star read.
Jan 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
“Mindfulness makes the present moment into a wonderful moment.”

Oh, how much wisdom this 92 year old Zen teacher has, and how perfectly he fits it in into this tiny book. Each little page provides so much to consider. Though “How to Love” could be interpreted through the lens of romantic love, these insights are applicable to nearly every relationship in our lives— even our relationship with ourselves 🌸 I would love to read the other books in this series. A short read with a lingering impact.
Thom Behrens
Dec 15, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I recommend reading all of Thich Nhat Hahn's books as prayer books: one or two pages a day. Conveniently, most of the chapters are one or two pages. This is also a good book to read with a loved one, of any variety.
Sep 11, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A beautiful, accessible and simple book of guidance for couples, lovers and people who wish to be both.
Oct 27, 2018 rated it really liked it
"As you practice building a home in yourself, you become more and more beautiful."

"Trust that you have a good and compassionate nature. You are part of the universe; you are made of stars."
Hristian Trendafilov
Nov 22, 2018 rated it really liked it
Snippets of millennial wisdom
Apr 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I have work to do.
Michael Huang
Buddhist monk and spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh teaches you how to love — with mindfulness.
Michael Armijo
Feb 13, 2018 rated it it was amazing
It is quite surprising how one small handbook can provide so many meaningful words to learn and live by. This one made me laugh (probably one of my favorites): *We see that the other person, like us, has both flowers and garbage inside, and we accept this. Our practice is to water the flower in our loved one, and not bring them more garbage."

Here is even more of what I got out of this book titled “HOW TO LOVE”. Thank you Susan Bazinett for the gift of this book. I had already read BEING PEACE by
The Book Girl
Jan 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book and had heard such great things about this book from other people. I will definitely be reading this book again.
Keili Rae
Apr 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Well worth reading slowly.
Armagan Kilci
Mar 24, 2017 rated it it was amazing
A little great book. A must read.
Thich Nhat Hanh is a gifted story teller.
The book has a very soft tone.
Metaphors are very naturalistic, benefiting from water, earth, wind, fire.. and this helps to create an organic perception for the reader.
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Thích Nhất Hạnh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist who now lives in southwest France where he was in exile for many years. Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen (Vietnamese: Thiền) monastery at the age of 16, and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary ...more

Other books in the series

Mindfulness Essentials (7 books)
  • How to Sit (Mindfulness Essentials, #1)
  • How to Eat (Mindfulness Essentials, #2)
  • How to Walk (Mindfulness Essentials, #4)
  • How to Relax (Mindfulness Essentials, #5)
  • How to Fight
  • How to See
“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.” 33 likes
“LEARNING LOVE If our parents didn’t love and understand each other, how are we to know what love looks like? There aren’t courses or classes in love. If the grown-ups know how to take care of each other, then the children who grow up in this environment will naturally know how to love, understand, and bring happiness to others. The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people. If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all.” 25 likes
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