What do you think?
Rate this book
488 pages, ebook
First published November 29, 2013
“Some battles are best fought with a sidekick.”
“I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here when you come home. There will always be an us.”Someone has told the world about Lily Calloway’s sex addiction. This destroys Lily. Lo is newly sober, but is determined to be there for Lily no matter what. He is her rock. She needs him to help with her addiction and to be there to love and support her, and he does 100%.
She shrunk into herself and waited for me to stare at her like she was gross and dirty. But I just wanted to hold her and tell her that she was worth so much more than whatever she was searching for.
"I'm sick too," he says, " and there will be times where we're weak. Where we beg for the things we can't have. But you can't be scared of that, Lil. You just have to believe that you'll be strong enough in the end. Even if the middle is all fucked up."
"He is my breath. My soul. My life-force. I have spent forever with him. Being apart is the most unnatural feeling in the world."
"Lily doens't do hugs. She fucks until she passes out. And I so badly want to fix her, but I can only help her. The real mending-that has to be her job, her fight, her battle. I can't win this one for her - just like she can't defeat my demons."
"I won't ever desert you, love. Not for a goddamn moment. You're mine to take care of, you understand?"
"There will always be an us."
"A Lo and Lily."
"Or Lily and Lo."
"Whatever happens,we're in this together. You and me. Lily and Lo."
She is my past, my present, my future.
"Ryke has Melissa pinned against the back of the seat. I can barely see her behind his broad shoulders. Sitting up, her legs wrap around his waist, and his body melds into hers. His hand disappears underneath her shirt, and his lips devour hers hungrily"
"I'm here," he says, a silent tear dripping down his cheek. "We're going to beat this together."
“Your addiction is much different, and there’s less support there... It’s just the way it is. I’m prepared for this. I won’t leave. I won’t ever fucking leave.”
"She wants to be with me, but my mere presence tempts her. I don't ever want to believe that being alone, being apart, is the solution.
She needs me as much as I need her. We just have to find our footing in this relationship. And that takes time."
"She holds tight around my neck, and I keep my arms underneath her legs, willing to carry her as far as she needs to go - just like when we were kids. Some things never change."
"I dream that one day, I can hold Lily in my arms without any other influence begging me to drop her. I want to be enough for her to beat this thing."
He brushes off an escaped tear with his thumb. "You're sick… I'm sick too," he says, "and there will be times where we're weak. Where we beg for the things we can't have. But you can't be scared of that, Lil… You just have to believe that you'll be strong enough in the end. Even if the middle is all fucked up."
“She doesn’t have to say, I love you because ... The sentiment is attached to each and every word. She loves me because she believes I’m strong. She loves me because she’s a part of me... there will always be an us.”
After all we've been through. Years and years of mistakes, it feels like a dream to be here in this moment. Right now. Sober. Alive. With her.
My next breath comes out ragged and Ryke focuses on me for a long moment. But when Daisy inhales strongly, staring at the sand with tears brimming, trying to bottle her emotions, he turns his gaze on her. I watch his face change. If he was concerned for me, I don’t even know what to call the expression he has for her.
She gave him the classic ultimatum. Me or her. And he chose to protect my sister.
“If the whole world says living without each other is what we should do, then this will be the last wrong I make.”
“You’re the best everything, love, that’s unspoken and true.”
“What’s going to happen,” he breathes, “is that I’m going to carry you through this door. I’m going to draw out every single moment until you’re exhausted. And I’m going to move so slow that three months ago will feel like yesterday. And tomorrow will feel like today, and no one in this fucking universe will be able to say your name without saying mine.”
Dramatic, I realize, but with our situation— recovering alcoholic and a struggling sex addict—we’re anything but mundane.
She is my past, my present, my future. So when I open the door and slide into the driver’s seat, I’m not surprised that it feels like I’m returning home.
“I don’t know how to live without you.” And I shake my head quickly as tears pool. “And I don’t want to know how. I don’t want to find out.”
He is my breath. My soul. My life-force.
Not all touching leads to pleasure. A hug is just a hug, not the pathway to sex.
"I think she loves you more than she loves sex. And you love her more than you love alcohol, but you two just haven’t let yourselves believe it yet."