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150 pages, ebook
First published June 1, 2014
“I just didn’t see the point in telling you something that would cause you anguish. Something that you couldn’t do anything about.”
“So you’d have let her stay here even if I’d said I wasn’t comfortable with it?” I challenged.
“It is my apartment.” A note of defensiveness edged his words. A slight emphasis on my.
“She’s my friend. I didn’t think we had rules for each other that way, Mia. Rules about friends, I mean.”
“Look, she’s not a threat to you. And I’ve never believed that a couple needs to tell each other everything. Total transparency is not healthy in a relationship.”
"I’m saying what you said yesterday. I want more. I love you and I miss you every day. I lied when I said I was happy with the way things are—I’m not. I want more; I’m just scared.”
“I just didn’t see the point in telling you something that would cause you anguish. Something that you couldn’t do anything about.”
“So you’d have let her stay here even if I’d said I wasn’t comfortable with it?” I challenged.
“It is my apartment.” A note of defensiveness edged his words. A slight emphasis on my.
“She’s my friend. I didn’t think we had rules for each other that way, Mia. Rules about friends, I mean.”
“Look, she’s not a threat to you. And I’ve never believed that a couple needs to tell each other everything. Total transparency is not healthy in a relationship.”
“Say you forgive me.” His mischievous expression was gone, replaced by a genuine look of longing in his eyes, maybe even a little fear.
“Say it, Mia.” He lowered me all the way down, and I gasped at the sudden fullness, the shock of pleasure deep inside me.
“I can’t lose you. Say you still love me.”
“I’m saying what you said yesterday. I want more. I love you and I miss you every day. I lied when I said I was happy with the way things are—I’m not. I want more; I’m just scared.”
“I wouldn’t submit so easily to him tonight— I wanted him, but I wanted a fight too. I wanted it rough and angry, because that’s the way I felt. I wanted him to work for it. I wanted to hurt him in some way, retaliate for the pain he’d caused me.”
“There’s no perfect life without you. In fact, I no longer dream about a “perfect” life. I only dream about a life with you.”
"I think that's what makes taking the next step so hard for me - it's not that I don't love you enough to make a bigger commitment. It's that I'm afraid I won't measure up, you'll find someone who does, and I'll never find anyone as amazing as you."
"No, you're not what I had in mind. You're so much better. There's no perfect life without you. In fact, I no longer dream about a 'perfect' life. I only dream about a life with you."
"You made me like surprises."
"You made me like forever."
"You're not scared of it anymore?"
He shook his head. "You know what?
Lately I've been thinking that the only
scary thing about forever is
imagining one without you in it."