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Awakening in Time: The Journey from Codependence to Co-Creation
Presents a psychospiritual approach to co-dependency, employing the ideas behind the twelve-step program, Jungian thought, and Eastern philosophy to challenge co-dependency as a disease
304 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1991
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
April 17, 2025
There is value to this book, but it's undermined by a tendency to grandiosity and a lack of scrutiny about its sources and information. It also feels significantly outdated.
I actually ended up liking the author, who seems like a very emotionally mature, loving, and intelligent person. I think the book is written well. She is full of valuable insights about human growth and relationships. I like her boundaries and rules for a heart-centered relationship. In some parts, she takes the time to shed light on tricks we play with one another and ourselves that result in toxic relationships and how to move away from them.
I also love the general thrust and premise of the book, which is that overcoming addictive relationships requires more than anything a profound affirmation of one's own value and potential. She says this often gets lost in the over-determined, dehumanizing, deconstructive takes that therapeutic communities often get lost in, and I heartily agree. It's because these takes are so dominant that I've been going back to books from the 90s or earlier for different perspectives.
However, most of the book consists of glib, grandiose promises of the benefits of spiritual exercises, which are not very clearly defined or delineated from one another and seem to exist on an overloaded buffet plate. She carelessly lumps together entire continents of spiritual tradition, mixing them together with quotes from dubious occult sources. She has obsolete faith in the inevitable affirmation of chakras by Western society. This is nothing new; this sort of optimism that the spiritual branding of the 70s and 80s is entirely on track and is just around the corner of reaching a singularity point is definitely of its time. I don't fault her for that directly, but it makes the book harder to accept.
I think my most specific criticism along these lines is how her endless optimism of these practices - her belief in the relative ease in which they work - really does set the stage for spiritual bypassing. And this is a book where spiritual bypassing is mentioned constantly. She seems to understand the concept and be aware of it, but she doesn't recognize it, when she says over and over again how performing various inner work paradigms and spiritual practices tap you into supreme wisdom and make you a superior person. This was how it was the whole time, but I think now even mainstream advocates of inner work and meditation and the like acknowledge that these are serious, disciplined commitments to oneself, that ground you in who you are and last your entire lifetime, not processes you can perform in a weekend workshop that make you a better person. There seems to be some cognitive dissonance there.
I would recommend this book for people (like me) using their baleens to scour the landscape for as much information on relationships and codependence as they can find, but I would advise anyone else not to bother.
For people interested in a relatively holistic, somewhat spiritually inflected book from the same era, I recommend Margaret Paul's "Inner Bonding." It makes similar points but in a much more grounded and directly useful way.
I actually ended up liking the author, who seems like a very emotionally mature, loving, and intelligent person. I think the book is written well. She is full of valuable insights about human growth and relationships. I like her boundaries and rules for a heart-centered relationship. In some parts, she takes the time to shed light on tricks we play with one another and ourselves that result in toxic relationships and how to move away from them.
I also love the general thrust and premise of the book, which is that overcoming addictive relationships requires more than anything a profound affirmation of one's own value and potential. She says this often gets lost in the over-determined, dehumanizing, deconstructive takes that therapeutic communities often get lost in, and I heartily agree. It's because these takes are so dominant that I've been going back to books from the 90s or earlier for different perspectives.
However, most of the book consists of glib, grandiose promises of the benefits of spiritual exercises, which are not very clearly defined or delineated from one another and seem to exist on an overloaded buffet plate. She carelessly lumps together entire continents of spiritual tradition, mixing them together with quotes from dubious occult sources. She has obsolete faith in the inevitable affirmation of chakras by Western society. This is nothing new; this sort of optimism that the spiritual branding of the 70s and 80s is entirely on track and is just around the corner of reaching a singularity point is definitely of its time. I don't fault her for that directly, but it makes the book harder to accept.
I think my most specific criticism along these lines is how her endless optimism of these practices - her belief in the relative ease in which they work - really does set the stage for spiritual bypassing. And this is a book where spiritual bypassing is mentioned constantly. She seems to understand the concept and be aware of it, but she doesn't recognize it, when she says over and over again how performing various inner work paradigms and spiritual practices tap you into supreme wisdom and make you a superior person. This was how it was the whole time, but I think now even mainstream advocates of inner work and meditation and the like acknowledge that these are serious, disciplined commitments to oneself, that ground you in who you are and last your entire lifetime, not processes you can perform in a weekend workshop that make you a better person. There seems to be some cognitive dissonance there.
I would recommend this book for people (like me) using their baleens to scour the landscape for as much information on relationships and codependence as they can find, but I would advise anyone else not to bother.
For people interested in a relatively holistic, somewhat spiritually inflected book from the same era, I recommend Margaret Paul's "Inner Bonding." It makes similar points but in a much more grounded and directly useful way.
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April 22, 2020I really enjoyed this book. It takes a very spiritual approach to healing codependency issues and I love it. Thanks Jacquelyn.
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December 12, 2013This is my second reading of the book. The first time I found it remarkable and eye-opening, especially about the shadow self and the higher self. I was really heartened by Small's claim that once a person commits to becoming a co-creator, he/she will meet other people on the journey. The second time around was a good review and I kept wanting something more.
November 8, 2017
After reading for the second time, I find this book made a difference in my life the first time, and even more of one this time. The sub-title is "From Co-dependency to Co-Creation" and how true this is!
December 5, 2018
This book opened up a whole new world to me.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews