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Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life

4.38  ·  Rating details ·  1,000 ratings  ·  127 reviews
Cynthia Kim explores all the quirkyness of living with Asperger Syndrome (ASD) in this accessible, witty and honest guide looking from an insider perspective at some of the most challenging and intractable aspects of being autistic. Her own life presents many rich examples. From being labelled nerdy and shy as an undiagnosed child to redefining herself when diagnosed with ...more
Paperback, 239 pages
Published September 21st 2014 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers (first published 2014)
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Average rating 4.38  · 
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 ·  1,000 ratings  ·  127 reviews

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Maxine (Booklover Catlady)
Jul 31, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Autism, Aspergers Readers and Researchers
I am so excited that this book is here! I am a woman in her 40's who like the author, Cynthia Kim was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at a late age. I very much related to this book, but not only that, I have studied Aspergers for years and read every single book available that is out there and this is a fantastic book that is a must have for anyone thinking they have Aspergers, knowing they have Aspergers, loving someone with Aspergers or just wanting to understand Aspergers, especially if yo ...more
C.G. Drews
Aug 18, 2015 rated it it was amazing
THIS is the book you need read if you want to learn about living with Autism/Aspergers. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. IGNORE THE REST. Ha, ha, I'm kidding. But ignore Asperger's and Girls because it's horrendous and inaccurate and read THIS because this is by a woman with Aspergers. Also she's a blogger at Musings of an Aspie. And I'd read a lot of her blog prior to reading the book, so I kept doing double takes and deja vu moments with "WAIT HAVEN'T I READ THIS BEFORE?" But it didn't matter because ther ...more
May 11, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book about the life-changing discovery that you're autistic in your 40s. (Oh, how I could relate to THAT.) Based on Cynthia Kim's blog, Musings of an Aspie, this book is packed full of everything Kim's learned since her diagnosis, backed by research and supported by stories from Kim's life. ...more
Michelle Llewellyn
Oct 11, 2016 rated it it was ok
Cynthia Kim was fortunate to find someone who "got her" to have a child and find a successful, fulfilling career so she didn't "fail at adulthood" like she keeps stressing out about in her book.
As a newly diagnosed Aspie, my whole life has been spent struggling to understand why I can't achieve those same worthwhile goals. She offers no answers, only page after page of how she learned to communicate with her husband, successfully raise her child all while trying not to go insane.
By chapter 11,
Not a bad book, but I can't say I really enjoyed reading it.

The title seemed a bit misleading to me and made me expect a different type of book.
I was also hoping to read more about the struggles in everyday life (I was diagnosed last year, at age 47). But for Cynthia there didn't seem to be any struggles (at least, not in the book). She's happily married, raised her daughter, and has a successful business. And if there were any small problems along the way, well, she has done her research, figur
Winter Sophia Rose
Sep 01, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Insightful, Honest & Intense! An Incredible Read! I Loved It!
Nov 22, 2018 rated it liked it
Since people seem to absolutely adore this book: unpopular opinion incoming!

It's not that I dislike it. Because I don't. Honestly, out of the three books I've recently read (this, Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome, and Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Expanded Edition) I prefer this when it comes to explanations, views, experiences, and tips. Because, out of those three books, they are most like my own. However, the writing s
Adults expect other adults to know how to sit in a chair. p102
I not only only wasn't perfect, I wasn't even "normal". p183

I am not sure if CK intended her book to be especially funny, or if I was being insensitive when I gasped with laughter at reading her insiders account of someone (herself) who was already an accomplished human being, compensating quite nicely thank you, when diagnosed with Aspergers, the perky form of autism.

Or maybe my inadvertent laughter was more the shock of recognition
Victoria (RedsCat)
Sep 20, 2014 rated it really liked it
"There are few traits that are universal, which makes it hard to write a definitive book about life on the spectrum", Cynthia Kim. It also makes it confusing to tell people about. But books like "Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life" make it a lot easier, both to understand ourselves as Aspies and help others understand us. As I was reading, I probably highlighted something on every page. I kept telling my cat, "That is so me." I took so. many. notes.

"Nerdy" c
Jessica Nguyen
Oct 25, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I clearly can relate to most matters described by the author and it was a good feeling, like talking to a friend who can actually understand you.
Aug 04, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: ensayo
A truly enjoyable read. Kim walks you through what Asperger looks from the inside. It's very helpful for anyone who wants to understand what a person with Asperger feels, or thinks. She clears a few misunderstandings about Asperger and explains how each term related to this condition looks like.
I was looking for the point a view of a woman, because Asperger look very different in boys or men compared to women.
She explains theory of mind, empathy, all from the eyes of an insider.
I loved it.
Susan Dunne
Feb 28, 2015 rated it really liked it
Just read a couple of chapters of this so far and I'm really impressed.

As a late diagnosed Aspie myself I find Cynthia's insights really interesting, especially on social communication - keep thinking Yeah that's me!

There's not much around on late diagnosed people, let alone adults on the spectrum so this is a great addition.

Jul 08, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is brilliant! It teached me a lot about myself and how to deal with things. I admire the author a lot for the way she deals with everything. I hope I can reach as far as she has.
Oct 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2014
As a parent of a child with Asperger's I look for stories about adults with the diagnosis. This gives a wonderful first hand account of living with Asperger's (childhood and adulthood). The struggles the author has are some I can see my own child having, or already had. I am so glad I read this book and this will be one that when my child gets older I will have him read.

I was given this book in exchange for an honest review via Netgalley.
Nicola Montague
Ok so like a week or so ago I was diagnosed as being autistic at age 31. Even though I was the one who wanted to be assessed a large part of me thought maybe I was imagining things or exagerating. When I was diagnosed I was given a list of resources to look into, one of them was this book and it is the most seen and valid I have ever felt. Almost every page I found myself nodding like "YES! Exactly!". All in all a brilliant resource. ...more
Shana Nichols
My favorite read in 2014 by an author on the autism spectrum. I would recommend this book to all adults with ASD with no hesitation, and to their parents and clinicians with whom they work. Exceptionally well-written, practical, perfect blend of personal experience and general observations. This book is award-deserving. Congratulations Cynthia!
Loved it, possibly because I see so much of myself in the situations and feelings she described. I think you get a really good look at what it's like to be an adult on the spectrum, especially if you're not of the "savant" variety. ...more
Oct 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorite-books
Must read! This book honors its title. It is surprisingly accurate. Kim's voice is clear, sincere and knowledgeable. Sometimes funny and at all times truthfull. Definitevely a user guide to whoever is doubting if They are within the spectrum or not. ...more
Moon Captain
Apr 18, 2018 rated it really liked it
I want to die.
Ieva Gr
Apr 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: autism
Why I started reading it: I’m looking for ways to understand myself better. Read about being introverted, being a highly sensitive person and then started to think what if ‘higly sensitive’ = ‘non neurotypical’. So looked for some books about women on the spectrum. This was the highest rated one among them.

What I liked about it: It is very well structured. Author takes one topic, shares her personal experience, explains what she read about it and what helped her to manage thing better and the mo
Aug 02, 2021 rated it it was amazing
I couldn’t read this book fast enough. I’ve spent my life on the outside studying people to try to stand out less. I’ve felt alien, alone, and misunderstood. This was such a positive resource. I’ve never found my internal struggle reflected so clearly. Do recommend for everyone, irrespective of ability to relate directly.
Feb 17, 2016 rated it liked it
Kind of a primer for aspies. I would have liked more stories rather than such thin vignettes of the author's behavior. It wasn't exactly Temple Grandin, whom I consider the best writer on autism. I was curious about some of her behaviors, because I have depression, OCD, and social anxiety, and rather than lash out, I withdraw. I get mad once a year, and then take someone's head off. Otherwise I am considered charming, "shy, sensitive, and retiring," according to one personality test.

There are s
Donna Parker
Oct 14, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Remember that nerdy kid in school? Maybe they were shy or maybe out there...How about socially inappropriate? Or maybe you were one of those kids. When I saw this book on Netgalley, free for the low low price of an honest review, I was honestly pleased to read it. Even before my son was officially diagnosed, officially labeled I knew there was something different (different but not less) about him. As I read this book I could picture my son someday writing one too, a kind of user guide to an Asp ...more
Nov 17, 2014 rated it really liked it
I picked this up intending to read it as a mother of two children on the spectrum, but I ended up reading it more as what I've come to understand about myself, which is an undiagnosed adult. She covers a lot of ground and coveys chewy information in a very readable style. Insightful and thoughtful, I especially appreciated the practical advice at the end of each section. ...more
Melanie Clemmer
Aug 02, 2017 rated it really liked it
Like the author, I too came late to discovering that I am ASD. She does an excellent job of detailing her self discovery and how she has learned to understand and cope with relationships, social difficulties, and sensory issues. This was a great help to me in understanding some of my childhood issues as an "undiagnosed" girl/woman on the spectrum. ...more
Sasha Boersma
90% of this book is exactly reflective of my life experience. Creepy, but reassuring to see it written in black and white. Also, if you don't already follow her blog Musings of An Aspie, it's just like this, but in blog posts. ...more
Nov 13, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: asd
Liked this book a lot. Useful tips and checklists, and tips particular to women, people diagnosed later in life, and parents. I had hoped for more personal/memoirish insights, and there weren't a lot of those, but still a valuable resource and will resonate with people. ...more
A truly disappointing reading experience. The book is messy written and does not come with some useful information that you do not already know if you have just read a little about Asperger's syndrome. I cannot and would not recommend this book!! ...more
Apr 01, 2021 rated it liked it
As someone whose looking for a book recommendation for my sister, I have given this book three stars. For the most part it is informative and well written/orgaisnsed but it is full of her touting her individual experience as the general traits of autism.

Example 1 "Autism is fundamentally a social communication disorder." Austism is characterised by a different neurology, so to say its primarily a social communication 'disorder' is skirting over many an Aspies experience. Many Aspies have strong
Crystal (Goddess in the Stacks)
I've been picking up books on Autism since we realized my husband was on the spectrum, in hopes of finding tools to help us manage daily life. He's too busy with school and work to do much reading these days, so I've been doing the research and bringing it to him to discuss. It's led to some enlightening conversations and we've both learned a lot about each other. Cynthia Kim's blog was one I pored over and read parts of to him, and I finally got her book from my library.

One of the things I noti
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Read an extract from the book here. 1 6 Sep 29, 2014 03:25AM  

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