Excuse Me, But I Was Next...

by Peggy Post

Have you ever been annoyed by cell phone yakkers, line cutters, or movie chatterers? Been confused about who pays at a restaurant? Received a gift you hated? Fumed over how to respond to a nosy question? America's etiquette expert Peggy Post comes to the rescue in this concise, readable handbook devoted to the top 100 etiquette issues everyone wonders about. You'll learn how to politely say "no" to difficult requests, how to introduce someone if you've forgotten his or her name, how to perform damage control for e-mail bloopers, and countless other strategies for handling life's awkward moments.

Additional highlights include:

Ten Conversational Blunders . . . Five Introduction Goofs . . . Top Dinner-Table Manners Goofs . . . Tipping Guidelines . . . A Family Gathering Survival Guide . . . How to Spot a Dud on the First Date . . . Playdate Etiquette . . . How to Be a Welcome Houseguest . . . How to Simplify Gift Giving . . . Dispelling Wedding Myths . . . and much more.

In ""Excuse Me, But I Was Next . . .,"" Peggy Post distills the essence of etiquette for today's world into the perfect portable book.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Reference, Audiobook, Psychology, Personal Development, Communication

304 pages, ebook

First published October 1, 2006

About the author

Peggy Post, Emily Post’s great-granddaughter-in-law, is a director of The Emily Post Institute and the author of more than twelve etiquette books. In March, 2011, Peggy began a new question and answer column with the New York Times called The Well-Mannered Wedding. The column aims to address modern day wedding conundrums and provide advice for the soon-to-be-wed.

Currently, Peggy is actively involved in the launch of Emily Post Wedding, a new line of wedding invitations produced by M. Middleton and licensed by The Emily Post Institute. Peggy has worked with M. Middleton on the development of the two collections, Grace and Style, and is now making public appearances at national and regional retailer events to promote the wedding invitation offering.

Peggy writes a monthly column in Good Housekeeping magazine. She is also a contributing editor for AARP, The Magazine. Peggy conducts lectures and seminars for businesses and community groups across the country. Peggy’s vibrant personality and media savvy have led companies to request her services for spokesperson campaigns. In this role she has worked with clients like MasterCard, Yahoo!, American Express, Florida Citrus, Merci Chocolates, Tassimo Hot Beverage System, Georgia-Pacific, and SBC Communications.

Peggy began her career as an international flight attendant for Pan American World Airways. She then taught seventh grade English and history in New York City before entering the business world, developing a 30-year career in management, consulting and sales. Born in Washington, DC, she was raised in Maryland and New Orleans and holds a Bachelor of Science degree in education from LSU. Peggy and her husband, Allen, live in south Florida, and she has two stepsons, Casey and Jeep.

Reviews

[Cindy aka "The Book Fairy" · Rating 4 out of 5]

Marvelous book with some helpful tidbits even though I have read these types before there's always room for improvement!

[Tessa (Taylor's Version) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of this could be seen as "common sense," but a lot wasn't, and some people don't even do the "common sense" stuff, so. It was a nice refresher. I love having a lady tell me what to do to be nice and right and stuff.

[Cass]

Not sure I learned anything new that was too important. Just flicked through quickly over like an hour.

[Bree · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of this was common sense if you were raised properly. You just need to stop and think before you do something and really you should never ask a woman when she is due, ever, unless you have seen the sonogram. Save yourself the embarrassment! Many of the place settings and table items I was unaware of because I have never gone/hosted a formal dinner. I also have never been to a restaurant that has a "captain" who is the lead server of the night and probably never will as that kind of place makes me feel nervous and out of my element. Some of the answers are just bite your tongue as you don't want to make an uncomfortable situation more uncomfortable. Times have definitely changed which Ms. Post added why we have some of the customs still.

[غيداء الجويسر · Rating 2 out of 5]

علمني ان اكون أكثر "وقاحة" ^_^

[Alyce · Rating 2 out of 5]

The best thing about this book is the title. But it doesn't even deliver on its promise. My 100 year old etiquette book is more useful- and better written.

[Ell, Ess Jaeva · Rating 1 out of 5]

LMAO, this is short by dnf-trash.

your spouse tells joke that offends--to solve: later u joke to host, you know how bill can be

you are swamped with your life to help with PTA, how do u tell them no--to solve: you are NOT too busy (stop whining). OFFER to do small things to help them (vs doing what you asked for advice about)

[Izuvaz · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a guide for how to be polite and well mannered in certain real life situation. Its very focused on American culture. A good book for quick read like if you want to overview something like that. With its title i thought it was something like how to disrespect someone respectfully like saying them no but in a polite way. But its not :(

[Noourhan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy book
I think its a good book for teenagers and young people like if you just began to have a social life.
And it’s also a nice book for introverts who forget how to communicate with people (like me :)).

[R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy read, nice reminder of tactful ways to handle some difficult situations

[Reka Beezy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had some helpful hints and tips. I personally think they should have etiquette courses in school.

[One · Rating 2 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️ 2.5 stars
This had some good advice but most of it was common sense really
Started this earlier this year(Jan-Feb 2020) and forgot about it and then picked up again (Dec 2020)

[LeeAnne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book came across as a bit more for the very wealthy (tipping your nanny, when to wear gloves, etc), but I learned things I could do better.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haha this was great! I think people with social anxiety would love books like this because it outlines exactly what to do in certain situations!

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little outdated and very US focussed - so many concepts of tipping! It is not part of our local culture so it didn’t really provide helpful information

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

At my stage in life this was not a particularly useful book since it covered a lot of issues about weddings, childrens' behaviors, etc. Some of the answers were embarrassingly obvious--like cover your mouth if you sneeze or cough at the dining table, get help if you're choking on a piece of food, and don't use dental floss at the table. On the other hand, she encourages writing thank you notes for wedding gifts within 3 months (I would have thought one month more appropriate, some of my friends think a year was okay, and many of the newlyweds I've given shower and wedding gifts to think that never is appropriate). I did learn that I've been making a mistake or two setting formal tables all these years! Overall, I would recommend this book to parents who are trying to raise children in a manners-free time. And I would love to see it updated at some point to include Internet etiquette.

Update: apparently the book about internet etiquette is Emily Post's Manners in a Digital World, although it may be a little lightweight or beginner oriented also.

[Bonnie]

There's a story about Emily Post and table manners that people love to hear. While dining with a group of notable ladies, Emily was asked by one of them at the end of the meal: "Why Mrs. Post, do you know that you've been eating from my bread plate the entire meal?" Emily's reply? "Well! Isn't that just like me!" Not one to rise to rudeness, Emily's response also relayed her philosophy-that etiquette is based on the principles of honesty (with tact!), respect, and consideration. Etiquette is a code of behavior that we follow to make those around us feel comfortable. Emily did not commit the major breach of etiquette in this situation; her dining partner made the breach by pointing out Emily's mistake. Don't highlight someone's mistake; rise above it in order to make those around you feel welcome. Oh, and by the way, you bread plate is the one on your left-slightly above your forks.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw this book at an end cap at the library and it piqued my interest. For the most part, I thought the advice offered in the book was completely obvious. I kept expecting great pearls of wisdom and this book definitely didn't offer that. However, with the short easy chapters and the anticipation of what terrible things some people do right around the next page, I kept reading. I found it very easy to pick up and put down. I can’t say that I learned a whole bunch but I enjoyed it and it got me thinking about what I thought was polite and how I would respond to certain situations. Over all a good read.

[Hilary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Surprisingly interesting even though it's about etiquette. (OK, who am I kidding -- I read advice columns too.) I did find it relatively up to date; it didn't have advice about eating french fries with a knife and fork or anything like that. I liked the underlying viewpoint: that etiquette is about being honest while also making others feel comfortable -- so don't lie when making excuses, but behave as the situation dictates and according to social norms, not according to possibly outdated rules.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked this up randomly from the library with the idea I needed some pithy or polite one-liners and strategies for navigating Sticky Situations. Also, I wasn't ready to switch to my kids with cancer fiction yet though I know the writing will be leap years ahead.

A fair portion didn't seem applicable to life on the Left Coast but overall found it useful nonetheless. Also also, made me feel tons better about the fact that my future MIL arranged a bridal shower for me (I feared it was an etiquette faux pas but didn't want to upset her offer). Turns out, it's kosher!

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book with lots of good information on manners and etiquette, however it is by no means complete or comprehensive. This would be a good book to read when trying to learn more about manners, but it is definitely not a comprehensive reference book on manners or etiquette. (I didn't read this book cover to cover, just skimmed through it as I prepared to teach a group of teens a class on etiquette.)

[Cassandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh, it was okay. Some useful suggestions sprinkled into the chapters, but on the whole it seemed like a bunch of miscellaneous manners advice was thrown every which way onto the pages, grouped loosely into very short chapters that didn't quite hang together. Also, at least one third of the pages were completely blank. If I'd paid for this book I'd feel ripped off. As it is, I'm taking it back to the library tomorrow, and moving on to something better.

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

For someone who is always trying to improve herself, this book was a necessary stepping stone in the betterment of myself. This book points out dilemmas that I have been a part of and dilemmas that I hope to never see. It is nice to see that some people still care about etiquette and manners. Everyone who needs to download a little class needs to read this (and it's good for those of us who already have manners... everyone can improve!).

[Mako · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was filled with entertaining scenarios, some of which I hope I never encounter (writing scathing e-mail about boss and then sending to boss)and more importanty how to tip appropriately. Good manners never go out of style. If you have ever wanted to read people the riot act, you will find that it is not appropriate to point out peoples mistakes!~arrgh....

[Charity · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book spells out etiquette by answering questions about how to respond in situations that call for good manners. I realized upon reading this book that I have unknowingly committed many of the faux pas cited within. So, if you have ever inwardly shaken your head at my manners, know it was in ignorance. No longer. Now I will plead imperfection.:)

[jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun, quick read. Well organized and concise. I find etiquette books very enjoyable to read and interesting, as well as useful. Having read many, I appreciated this one as a modern addendum. It includes many situations that pertain to adults with and without children; i.e. dinner parties, some dating, fashion, etc.

[Melinda · Rating 1 out of 5]

"Excuse Me, But I Was Next...." by Peggy Post
Does it count as reading when you can skim a book in less than 3 hours? It was interesting but entirely predictable. All well and good to say the fall back position for a rude question is "Why do you ask?", but some really rude questions can't be answered that way. Most of this I already knew and the rest I'm not sure I agree with.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this etiquette guide, the Emily Post Institute gives advice on how to handle several situations politely from everyday life to special occasions.

I needed something quick to listen to, so I picked this up. I consider a lot of the advice common sense, but there is a good deal of useful information that I will keep in mind as well. Overall, a helpful piece on manners.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hey! My etiquette isn't as bad as I feared even if I didn't know how to seat dignitaries at a dinner party. Now if only we could get this book into the hands of all those loud cell phone users and deli-counter line jumpers.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't know why, but I like reading etiquette books. I find them interesting, and I liked this one. It had lots of practical, every day dilemmas, apart from what fork to use with fish and all that fussy stuff.