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Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People
With wisdom and humor, Thank You for Being Such a Pain offers gentle and compassionate guidance for understanding and healing relationships with difficult people. By embracing four fundamental premises and putting into practice the author's many helpful and practical suggestions, you'll acquire the skills and insights necessary for turning around even the most troublesome relationship. What you need to keep in mind is (1) nothing in your life happens randomly and your difficulties have a deeper purpose; (2) frustration and even emotional pain are as necessary for your personal and spiritual growth as love and joy; (3) transforming enmity and completing unfinished business may be the most important skills you can learn in life; and (4) when you make an effort to work on your inner self, your outer relationships will be transformed.
This groundbreaking book draws upon state-of-the-art psychological principles and timeless spiritual practices from all traditions. Filled with enlightening exercises and entertaining stories, Thank You for Being Such a Pain will forever change the way you see the difficult people in your life . . . as well as the way you see yourself.
This groundbreaking book draws upon state-of-the-art psychological principles and timeless spiritual practices from all traditions. Filled with enlightening exercises and entertaining stories, Thank You for Being Such a Pain will forever change the way you see the difficult people in your life . . . as well as the way you see yourself.
286 pages, Paperback
First published March 3, 1998
39 people are currently reading
170 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
January 29, 2012
This book intrigued me. Everyone has someone in their lives that puzzles them and makes them uncomfortable. This book challenges you to dig deeper into why they puzzle you and make you uncomfortable. In a quote from the book, "the fundamental premise of this book is that spiritual development is about growing as a person and that difficult people teach us how to do this. By paying attention to our experiences with difficult people, we learn things about ourselves that wouldn't ordinarily come to our awareness."
April 16, 2010
Blessed book.
Full of balanced wisdom and spiritual ideas. He walks you through possible scenarios for dealing with challenging people in your life, letting you make the decision about how to move forward and whether to try and repair, get revenge, ignore OR (and there's always the OR) adjust your thinking. He also helps you see patters in your behavior that just might be part of the problem!
Full of balanced wisdom and spiritual ideas. He walks you through possible scenarios for dealing with challenging people in your life, letting you make the decision about how to move forward and whether to try and repair, get revenge, ignore OR (and there's always the OR) adjust your thinking. He also helps you see patters in your behavior that just might be part of the problem!
April 12, 2008
This book was surprisingly refreshing. The title tells you what it is about. Worth reading.
February 9, 2020
There were some minute contradictions in the book, but nothing to get one's knickers in a twist over.
I asked for this book for Christmas since my dad read it a while ago and it's a book he recommends to people regularly. It was fine. I think my dad taught me more of this in conversations growing up, so there was really nothing new here for me.
The author is very upfront about his views on religion and spirituality. The books is a spiritual approach to dealing with frustrating humans. It says so in the title. If that's not what you want, there are thousands of these books to pick up from other perspectives. Dr. Rosen's spirituality is very encompassing and he expresses it throughout the book. His journey is not mine and I will not be subscribing to it, but that doesn't mean there aren't good points to consider.
What it comes down to is I was hoping to get more out of the book. There just weren't any lightbulb moments in this read. I'll have it if I ever need to refresh my memory, though, and maybe I'll have those moments down the road.
I asked for this book for Christmas since my dad read it a while ago and it's a book he recommends to people regularly. It was fine. I think my dad taught me more of this in conversations growing up, so there was really nothing new here for me.
The author is very upfront about his views on religion and spirituality. The books is a spiritual approach to dealing with frustrating humans. It says so in the title. If that's not what you want, there are thousands of these books to pick up from other perspectives. Dr. Rosen's spirituality is very encompassing and he expresses it throughout the book. His journey is not mine and I will not be subscribing to it, but that doesn't mean there aren't good points to consider.
What it comes down to is I was hoping to get more out of the book. There just weren't any lightbulb moments in this read. I'll have it if I ever need to refresh my memory, though, and maybe I'll have those moments down the road.
November 3, 2021
The title and description were very appealing. Who DOESN’T have difficult people in their lives at any given time? I was curious to see the authors point of view on how to approach, and respond in situations.
There are areas in the book that make good points, however, it was all a bit too repetitive for me. Each section tended to review the last, and end with a look at the next. In each of these there was a caption, or saying, that I eventually resorted to reading and skipping the in between. Not all, but most.
The author writes in a way that makes him seem very kind which I really enjoy. Overall I think it was good, I just have a hard time immersing myself with too much repetition.
There are areas in the book that make good points, however, it was all a bit too repetitive for me. Each section tended to review the last, and end with a look at the next. In each of these there was a caption, or saying, that I eventually resorted to reading and skipping the in between. Not all, but most.
The author writes in a way that makes him seem very kind which I really enjoy. Overall I think it was good, I just have a hard time immersing myself with too much repetition.
January 14, 2026
I picked this up in a hospital gift shop purely because of the title — who could resist? The book offers plenty of thoughtful reminders and sparked meaningful self-reflection, though I did find parts of it repetitive. True to form, I was a bit disappointed by the ending, which closes with an exercise instead of a more satisfying summary. Still, I’m glad I read it. Despite the subtitle, I believe this book would benefit anyone interested in exploring strategies for dealing with difficult people, regardless of their personal spiritual beliefs.
March 23, 2024
Very insightful in the psychology of why some people are difficult and even talks about the possibility of us being difficult to others. I bought this book to help me better understand my elderly patients as well as get and insight as to why some people are such a pain in the *ss. It actually helped a lot. It also helped me see myself through other people’s perspective and that I can be difficult as well.
August 24, 2021
I ended up purchasing this book after borrowing it from the library. A compassionate approach to understanding ourselves and others, without judgement.
September 13, 2015
Interesting book, full of techniques that I've read about from others and some I have incorporated. The one thing I was looking for, how to use these techniques without falling overboard and sinking into self analysis and even self blame, wasn't in there but for those who don't habitually go to extremes of like that it's probably unnecessary.
It's best to read it while working through the exercises and taking one's time with it, otherwise it blurs together. The first quarter was best for reading straight through, when reading the middle I felt it verges on victim blaming, though probably not in context. The last third I thought was very helpful but would take practice.
Good advice on seeking therapy and when to dump a therapist, on the use of and creation of prayers, and on forgiving without tolerating mistreatment. Writing about this sort of thing especially in a spiritual context without triggering selfblame in your audience is tough and the author does much better than the usual writer tackling such topics.
Books to pair with: Difficult Personalities; the works of Harriet Learner, other books such as Self Esteem, and the works of Robert Fulghum.
It's best to read it while working through the exercises and taking one's time with it, otherwise it blurs together. The first quarter was best for reading straight through, when reading the middle I felt it verges on victim blaming, though probably not in context. The last third I thought was very helpful but would take practice.
Good advice on seeking therapy and when to dump a therapist, on the use of and creation of prayers, and on forgiving without tolerating mistreatment. Writing about this sort of thing especially in a spiritual context without triggering selfblame in your audience is tough and the author does much better than the usual writer tackling such topics.
Books to pair with: Difficult Personalities; the works of Harriet Learner, other books such as Self Esteem, and the works of Robert Fulghum.
November 27, 2007
Actually I read this book almost 2 years ago, but what had happened lately forced me to pick up this book from my "little" library. It has helped me dealing with my tragic separation with my ex, and this time it helps by giving me clues how to handle my present situation. Dealing with difficult people. I think the difficult part is not because of the people but the reality that they're my best friends. My dear dear friends.
In short words, Mark I Rosen has written a book that everyone should read. After reading this, I bet you won't feel angry or even feel grudge to people who hurt you. On the contrary you will feel grateful on those painful situations because actually those people had already given you the opportunities to enhance your quality of life.
In short words, Mark I Rosen has written a book that everyone should read. After reading this, I bet you won't feel angry or even feel grudge to people who hurt you. On the contrary you will feel grateful on those painful situations because actually those people had already given you the opportunities to enhance your quality of life.
September 11, 2011
I have a difficult person in my life and periodically read a book along these lines. Nothing strikingly new, just good general advice on the subject. While the title was about spirituality, that was the part I least enjoyed.
February 27, 2012
Excellent book! If you are having any kind of difficulty with someone, whether it be at work or at home, this is the book for you. ;) Very well written & very insightful! You won't regret choosing to read this book. :)
August 9, 2008
great book! learning a lot about myself and how to handle difficult people and difficult situations!
August 9, 2009
Borrowed from Dawn
June 12, 2010
I doubt I'll finish it. Statistics do not show that cancer is caused by a bad attitude. ass.
July 19, 2011
The terms "Universe", "Holy One" and "God" are NOT interchangeable.
January 16, 2015
A really good look at how to deal with people who MAKE YOU CRAZY! And we've all got a few of them in our lives. Sound advice…good insights…I highly recommend you read it.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews