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Who's Pushing Your Buttons?: Handling the Difficult People in Your Life
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Who's Pushing Your Buttons?: Handling the Difficult People in Your Life

3.99  ·  Rating details ·  343 ratings  ·  32 reviews
Button-pushers come in all shapes and sizes, but they have one thing in common: Their behavior drives us crazy and makes us dream of ways to escape the mess we're in.

The person who pushes your buttons is likely someone who matters to you – a spouse, a parent, a boss, a fellow church member. Almost always this difficult person is connected to you by blood, love, faith, or m
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Paperback, 224 pages
Published September 16th 2007 by Thomas Nelson (first published July 13th 2004)
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Average rating 3.99  · 
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 ·  343 ratings  ·  32 reviews


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Kathy
Aug 19, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: healing-books
OUTSTANDING!!! I'm buying this for several of my friends who are married to MAJOR Button Pushers!!! Wish I had read this years ago. Thanking God my husband in NOT my BUTTON PUSHER! Trying & praying very hard NOT to be ANYONE'S Button Pusher myself. ...more
Barry Davis
Aug 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Subtitled, Handling the Difficult People in Your Life. The cover also makes the statement, “If someone is making your life difficult, take control and stop the stress.

This extraordinary book tackles the problem of “button pushers” from the side of the “pushee.” Using a combination of solid Biblical principles and the accompanying psychology of relationships, the author begins by helping reader understand how button pushers are hardwired, why they act the way they do, and why they don’t “own” th
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Jennifer
Jul 29, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: psychology
This book had a lot of good ideas for the manner in which to approach difficult relationships. However, the biggest thing I took away from this book is that if you yourself have not handled your own grief, your own backlog of emotional baggage, you are not ready to take this step yet. Sure, perhaps a few little things here and there - but you can't begin to overhaul your relationship with others until you've taken a good hard look at yourself and your own growth. Maybe that sounds cliche here, b ...more
Jan
Oct 09, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone who has difficult relationships or feels victimized by others
I listened to the audiobook version read by the author. This book tackles problem relationships that occur when one person "pushes the buttons" of another. He addresses how to evaluate the problem, how to identify your button pusher and what your part is in the process, and how to deal with the problem. He does a great job of giving examples of different relationships and problems and ideas for working with making changes. The author is a psychologist and talented speaker who comes across with a ...more
Kari
Jan 09, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2000-to2010-ad
I would have thought I'd put this on my list a long time ago. Anyway, I read it online, bought a paper copy, and have just finished reading it that way. This is about the only book I've seen that puts all this stuff in the same place, that also covers everything and doesn't leave stuff out, that also explains it this well. So I would recommend it instead of anything else you've read. ...more
debbicat *made of stardust*
Fantastic!! Highly recommended!!!
Sara Lawson
Oct 20, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A useful little book that would probably have greater impact when read or practiced along with a support group or counseling sessions. It also seems practical when used in a family situation, but what about a roommate, a kid in your Sunday School class, or a parent of a teenager you work with? It seems like the absence of proximity and more distant relationships complicate things, not necessarily harder, just more complicated than the book can address. Still, it's a quick read with lots of pract ...more
Matthew Hodge
Nov 24, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian, self-help
This was a useful book. I don't know about you, but I find the most difficult thing in life is dealing with people who push my buttons.

Townsend provides a framework for pushing through that is utterly realistic and yet steeped in a level of grace and redemption that comes from his Christian faith. I don't know if it will fix any of the situations I sometimes find myself in, but it has inspired me to want to be better at dealing with difficult people.
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pianogal
Mar 29, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a good read. The author is a little wordy in places, but I think his ideas are sound. If you've got an annoying person in your life, this book should help. If you don't have an annoying person, I'm happy to give you mine. ...more
Tish VanPut
Sep 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This can be life changing for people who are constantly plagued by someone else’s bad behavior! It teaches you how to approach the person and how to set boundaries to protect your own sanity! Love it!
Loreen Button
Sep 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Great for understanding different types of people and how they can push your buttons
Eliza
Jun 24, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-2020
Read as audiobook
Lilly Zhukova
Jan 02, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Andrey Georgiyev
Recommended to Lilly by: Andrey Sakhno
So so good. Couldn’t stop reading it. Definitely looking forward to applying the 7 concepts discussed in the book.
Victor Da Silva
(Please don't always pay attention to critics, because each critic has its different point of view, and it's almost always better to see it for yourself ratter than only paying attention to other's comments) I've read books like this, that are only in spanish (I'm from Venezuela) and they have some similar points of view, but I don't think that pointing out the person's problem, rather than seeing the problem as something outside the person so it won't "hurt" them would be better, and this book ...more
Danielle
The concepts are 5 star, his other books have better writing. I can appreciate the desire to be fair and use both he and she for the button pusher, however, it changed back and forth so often it was distracting. I would prefer he stayed with one pronoun unless he is telling a specific story about a male or female button pusher. His other books and the concept would get 5 stars and I recommend his books on boundaries.
Skylar Hatfield
May 25, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book was great. I wish I had read it 10 years ago. This book is more about co-dependency than dealing with people who irritate you once in a while. I It is the most instructive, constructive book I have read on dealing with difficult people. I recommend this book to anyone who loves someone or works with someone who has personality issues or addictions. I will re-read this book.
Stacey
Sep 24, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
I loved this book more than I thought I would. The advice Dr. Townsend gives in how to deal with difficult people was wonderful. Much of what he said can also be used in a daily manner. I think the best part was how he's talking as if you can control another person, when in reality all you are controlling is yourself. You simply take away the second party in the argument. ...more
Mark Manderson
Mar 05, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great quick read. Breaks down how to set boundaries (and hold them) in actionable steps. It shows how lack of ownership from another should result in problems for them. The author does a great job giving many "roll playing" examples showing the steps from showing your in their corner and care for them, how to state the problem and solution, and how to overcome even the most difficult diversions. ...more
Ann Swan
Nov 04, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a great book, one that i will have to read again to take notes. In the future i will better handle people that push my buttons. I tend to shy away from these people, but will try to solve instead of walk away going forward.
Offbeatonpurpose
Mar 14, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian-life
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Deborah Chapman
May 17, 2016 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Religious perspective

If you are interested in a Christian-focused approach, this may work for you. Personally, I prefer that this important information be included in the initial review, so that I may make an informed choice when purchasing.
Cathy
May 04, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
great book for dealing with challenging people :)
Paulette
Feb 05, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Keen insight that teaches one how to look inside a situation and navigate within personal boundaries that protect.
Melanie
oh boy...don't even get me started...I hope to learn much from this about myself, faith, surrender and boundaries ...more
MerD
Nov 08, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Too much religion, not enough substance on how to deal with the asshole, bipolar, belligerent ex husband.
Karen (Living Unabridged)
Another solid effort by 1/2 of the successful Cloud / Townsend writing team. Great advice here.
Caroline
Feb 01, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I would give this 4.5 if I could! Full of great information we could ALL use, as there are lots of button pushers out there in the world! :)
Zee Space
Feb 10, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Excellent book to read. It’s like a dictionary for anyone in the boxing ring with pushy, manipulative, offensive, difficult people.
Dorothy
Apr 27, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Helpful

Rated four stars easy to read. The book is insightful causing one to look for certain patterns of a relation that's unhealthy.






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