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Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting

4.29  ·  Rating details ·  2,966 ratings  ·  222 reviews
Janet Lansbury’s advice on respectful parenting is quoted and shared by millions of readers worldwide. Inspired by the pioneering parenting philosophy of her friend and mentor, Magda Gerber, Janet’s influential voice encourages parents and child care professionals to perceive babies as unique, capable human beings with natural abilities to learn without being taught; to de ...more
Paperback, 1 edition, 150 pages
Published May 1st 2014 by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
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Average rating 4.29  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,966 ratings  ·  222 reviews

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Oct 19, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting, rie
This is a collection of 30 of Lansbury's blog posts whose titles I've transcribed below, so get this book if you prefer to read a paper copy. My understanding is that Lansbury's blog really helped spread the word on Gerber's RIE philosophy, but after reading Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities -- From the Very Start, I would recommend going to that when you want to get more in-depth.

The blog is good as an introduction but there's something about the tone tha
Dec 22, 2014 rated it it was ok
Like most parenting books, this one has a pamphlet's worth of advice sprinkled into a novel's worth of dogmatic repetition, condescending anecdotes, and quotes from other parenting experts. It's long on theory and short on examples of how to apply the principles in real life. Lansbury comes across like a zealot, so ardent in her following of Magda Gerber that I was put off by her religious fervor. Still, the principles themselves seem to jibe with common sense, so that's a plus. ...more
Erin Collins
Jan 20, 2021 rated it it was ok
I am very torn about this book. On one hand, I do think the book has some very solid advice. I have tried to stop saying "it's ok" when my child is crying. I don't know if that actually does anything, but it kind of makes sense not to undermine their feelings. I have also started trying to be less active and more supportive in play time. I do think that helps kids show more creativity and take charge of their fun. We even started having a set amount of 'independent play' each day.

On the other ha
Katy W
Mar 23, 2015 rated it liked it
I really struggled with how to rate this. I really love some of her ideas but some are laughably ridiculous. It also just reads as opinion, with little reference to real research to back up her points. For the good, it seems as if it was taken wholesale from other books (Magda Gerber, "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen...", etc) so might as well just read those instead. Meh. ...more
Mélanie Ross
Aug 16, 2016 rated it really liked it
I struggled with rating this book. Though it is very helpful, and I'm thankful I fell upon this book, the ideas discussed here are not her own. That being said, the ideas discussed resonated with my husband and I. We've applied some of the concepts and it's made parenting a lot simpler & more fun. I feel like our daughter is already flourishing. All and all very helpful parenting book. ...more
May 29, 2021 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
Lots of Janet Lansbury's advice (from blog posts and podcasts) has already been influential on me, in particular around how to respond when my son is upset: calmly getting close to him and cuddling him if he wants it but not swooping him up; acknowledging his feelings instead of dismissing them or telling him he's OK; letting the feelings play out instead of trying to distract him; talking through what happened ("You bumped into this table and it hurt your head" or “you’re trying to open the cup ...more
Oct 08, 2014 rated it it was ok
Coming off the high of How to talk to your kids so they listen and listen so your kids will talk, this was quite the disappointment. While I LOVE the RIE way and do my best to impart this way to my kid--her style of writing is too abrupt and quite frankly, a bit boring. I find the same issue with her blog. I get all excited to read her posts and then I do and I'm bored. I can't put my finger onto why this is the case. But there was something to Faber's book that was so quick and easy to read--th ...more
Feb 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, parenting
A nice introduction to RIE for this new parent. I don’t agree with everything (RIE advises against tummy time, for example), but a lot of principles do appeal to me (not using distraction to get through unpleasant tasks or emotions, letting babies play independently from the beginning instead of feeling like you have to entertain them). I’ll keep reading Lansbury and Gerber as we go along.
Aug 14, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, parenting
“Lack of discipline is not kindness; it is neglect.” — Magda Gerber

3.5 stars, for the shape of the book itself, not for Lansbury’s good advice. The wisdom here is all sound, but copying and pasting a bunch of blog posts and calling it a “book” is kind of lame. I don’t think that practice ever makes a meaningful, readable book; a lot is lost in translation and form. All that Lansbury has to say about parenting is smart, but I think you’d be better off to subscribe to her newsletter and read her b
Lauren Beckett
Apr 13, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: being-a-parent
The stars are for Janet Lansbury herself and the RIE philosophy rather than this book. I’m eternally grateful to her for helping me become a more respectful, caring and mindful parent and I can’t help feeling that if everyone used this philosophy to raise their kids the world would be a very different place.

If I ever find I’m slipping into losing my patience I often realise it’s because I haven’t listened to an Unruffled podcast that week. The podcasts are such a source of wisdom and calm. They
Jan 31, 2022 rated it really liked it
A lovely, affirming, calm-inducing book. We’ll see how it works in practice but it sure makes me less nervous about becoming a dad.
Katie Hornberger
Nov 21, 2018 rated it liked it
I listen to Janet Lansbury’s podcast and generally like her parenting approach and solutions so I decided to read her books. Unfortunately the advice in the book and tone did not resonate with me. I would rate her advice as 2 stars, but the book is quick, can read in an hour or so with easy to find chapters, scenarios and examples, but minimal research to back her philosophy so I’ll give the book 3 stars for usability.

Lansbury writes about always informing a child of what you are doing to their
Sep 04, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting, love, essays, family
Very interesting book! Donny started reading bits of it too. We both thought there was a lot of food for thought in the book we imagine we'll be coming back to it once we have kiddos in our life. It's based on the RIE model of parenting, created by Magda Gerber. Some of the main concepts are treating your baby, toddler, or older child as a real person (e.g. no baby talk, explaining what's happening with their body before you move them / change them / etc.), communicating authentically instead of ...more
Katrina Dombrowsky
Feb 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I found this to be really common sense, but at the same time I learned so much! It has me rethinking how I interact with kids and planning for a respectful approach to my own parenthood journey. My only criticism (if you can call it that) is that raising children doesn't happen in isolation, and the book doesn't address this. What I mean by that is, while it would be relatively simple to employ these strategies at home or in an RIE class surrounded by supportive parents who are using those same ...more
Jan 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Changed the way I parent forever. Simple, paradigm shifting concepts explained in just enough scenarios that I understood the gist but not too many - I never got bored. Lansbury has a great way of framing things so even if I decided a particular technique wasn’t for me (eg not using high chairs), I didn’t feel guilt.

Only downside is that it is a combination of articles/essays and it can feel that way as you read - there’s occasional repetition in concepts, lots of “lists” that feel made for onl
May 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
I am so grateful to have this framework and parenting philosophy in mind as we venture into the toddler years. I only wish I had known of Magda Gerber/Janet Lansbury's work from day one of motherhood. I was in tears by the end. It all just makes so much sense. Parenting is the most amazing and challenging thing I've ever done, and this approach honors both mine and my baby's full humanity. I feel such a tremendous sense of calm and confidence after reading this guide and applying its teachings. ...more
Dec 17, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: baby-parenting
Very quick read. I really liked the basic concept here of seeing infants and toddlers as whole people and speaking to and treating them as such. The tone of the book was a little off-putting at times and it felt a little white privilege-y with the assumptions she made about families and caregiving situations. I found myself rolling my eyes...a lot. BUT, it's still a book I would recommend to friends with some added caveats. Take some, leave some, as with all parenting books. ...more
Morgan Kern
Apr 25, 2022 rated it liked it
I really like the idea of respectful parenting and found a few valuable nuggets in this book that I want to use in my own parenting journey. However, I wish I had just read one of Magda Gerber’s books. This book isn’t about any of the author’s original research/ideas but rather about her experiences working with Gerber.
Morgan Myers
Feb 13, 2021 rated it it was amazing
While I don't agree with 100% of the philosophy, I found this book to be a very refreshing and different approach from the commonly practiced parenting gimmicks that don't work. I really appreciate heart behind Gerber and Lansbury's approach to parenting. The premise of theor philosophy is to respect babies/toddlers as whole people and communicate with them as such, trust their intrinsically motivated development, and encourage self-directed free play.

"Loving our child does not mean keeping him
Michelle Zeigert
Aug 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction-2019
So much to learn from Magda Gerber’s work. Absolutely fantastic read to get you and your partner thinking and talking about the kind of parents you want to be and the kind of child you want to raise. I truly think this is one we will be returning to over and over with this kiddo and any potential future kiddos as well. Also, this was a good reminder as a kindergarten teacher of how I have strived to run my classroom and how I can always improve.
Feb 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
While I don’t agree and follow ALL of the lessons within the RIE parenting approach, the vast majority of it really resonates with me (and my husband) and it is how we choose to raise our daughter. This book and Magda Gerber’s “Your Self-Confident Baby” are both great reads for someone interested in learning about RIE’s philosophy and it’s many benefits in child rearing. I’m glad I have them both in my kindle as I’m sure I’ll be referring to my highlights from years to come.
Michelle Kuhn
Jul 16, 2022 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
Good principles to think about. I found the audiobook soothing to listen to as I cared for my newborn. Although Lansbury seems a little idealistic about children’s behavior, I will take away the main idea that infants are people and should be treated with the same respect and dignity as any person deserves. She encourages parents to connect with children through their struggles and difficult emotions, especially anger towards us. I liked her accounts of learning from her mentor, Gerber. She expl ...more
Sep 29, 2021 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
The content is actually really good and, if anything, lead to some good conversations about how Blaine and I want to raise our kids. But I really struggled with the format and got a little annoyed by the constant mention of Magda Gerber. If I hadn't read in another review that this book is really a compilation of blog posts then I definitely would have given it an even lower score. I still think she could have taken the blog posts and written a real book instead of just copy/pasting her posts (w ...more
Nov 19, 2021 rated it it was amazing
This stuff makes so much sense when you read it – so simple it must be correct, right? Tell the kid what's happening to them. Treat them as you'd want to be treated if you were a stroke victim and couldn't communicate. Don't interfere if they're absorbed in something. Let them lead. (If only this were as easy as it sounds...) ...more
Danielle Van Huysen
I think it’s really hard to find a parenting book that is 5 stars and you love everything about it. I enjoyed the latter part of the book. And took nuggets from each chapter but I wish she would’ve gone into more of examples for what to do when things go wrong or are hard.
Sep 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Every parent, grandparents and caregiver should read this book. Also teachers.
Gabrielle Pitman
May 01, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Really helpful, etc, as per review of no bad kids
Sep 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
This is a compilation of her blog. Reading it in book form helps keep me from having my face in my phone while trying to parent. It's a major bonus. ...more
Ariel Jensen
Mar 01, 2022 rated it really liked it
Shelves: family
Definitely good. But very similar to other RIE information out there—especially Magda Gerber’s books.
Jun 14, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: informative
Finally a parenting book that doesn't make me feel I'm doing it all wrong :) ...more
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Angelic Learning Center 1 2 Jun 30, 2020 04:11AM  

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