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More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
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More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory

4.33  ·  Rating details ·  2,907 ratings  ·  341 reviews
Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now the new book More Than Two can help you find your own way. With completely new material and a fresh approach, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and updat ...more
Paperback, 480 pages
Published September 2nd 2014 by Thorntree Press (first published September 1st 2014)
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Vinny Piranha So far it has been overly analytical. Hopefully, further in it will become more than an examination of the lifestyle.

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 ·  2,907 ratings  ·  341 reviews

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Quinn Daley
Jul 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing
My Kindle tells me I've made 141 notes and highlights in this book. That's how much valuable advice and anecdote More Than Two contains.

This isn't a "poly is awesome, la la la" book like most of the less scary ones out there. This is a book about how to do poly well, and how to avoid hurting people unnecessarily.

Poly people are on their own when it comes to good advice. Most of our friends don't know any better than us how to live our relationships well, and we can forget about novels, TV series
Jun 05, 2017 rated it really liked it
Take these stars with a big grain of salt.

This book is the new gospel for polyamory. You can’t go two steps in a polyamory circle without someone mentioning it, swearing by it, living it. Every time I would sit down to read a chapter of this book, my mind went wild, and I would start making connections and going “ooooh!” I started keeping a processing journal next to the book, because I would suddenly be seized by an idea that I had never realized is absolutely me and how I am in relationships a
Louisa Leontiades
Jun 13, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: polyamory-books
As the unchartered map of open relationships takes another bound forward in its clarity with the new book More Than Two by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert, many worthy ideas and concepts are brought to the fore.

Some like consent and communication are the cornerstones to polyamory as we know it; they've been hashed, cartoonified, sliced and diced from every angle and in every forum. But More Than two explores other ideas in depth for the first time. Like so many reviewers, who have been invested in
Sep 02, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Edit 8/1/2019: Anyone who wants to read this book should be made aware that one of the authors has been called out for harm to various of his exes, including his co-author, and that it should be read with a mindful and critical eye. Many folks have said it better than I can and I want to leave up my old review for record's sake, but please visit this website ( to learn more.

This is it. This is now the book that I will suggest to just about anybody that wants to learn
Jun 15, 2014 rated it really liked it
I should probably know better than to read another intro to polyamory book, much of the book comprises of examples of "horrible things you should never ever do" that seemed fairly obvious to me. However, the treatment of ethics is very sound in this book and gave me some intellectual clarity on what "feels right" to me.

I also liked how they started with a foundation of personal work. I wish I had started with that when I began poly, it would have helped a lot. However, the practical side of actu
Jun 30, 2014 rated it it was amazing
“Polyamory is not the next wave in human evolution. Nor is is more enlightened, more spiritual, more progressive or more advanced than monogamy. Polyamorous people are not less jealous, more compassionate or better at communicating than monogamists.” – More Than Two

I’ve spent the last few weeks reading More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, and then making less than helpful cryptic comments about the book.

I hope that my faithful Facebook followers have gathered from my incredibly subtl
Nathan "N.R." Gaddis
If you're looking for some guidance for dealing with your crush on that cute barista, this book is probably overkill.

But you might note that even Mother Monster's Manifesto, which protects "No matter gay, straight, or bi, Lesbian, transgendered life", no mention of poly. And though you probably know someone who is...
Jul 02, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: english, non-fiction
A handbook on Mindfulness containing a guide to polyamory, or a guide to polyamory presented as a Mindfulness handbook.

I've been a fan of the website for years, and I loved reading more from the site's author and his partner here in such a clear, friendly way. This book contains wonderful insights about relationships, confidence, overcoming anxiety, improving one's world view and communicating healthily. It's helpful for anyone, whether or not they're interested in polyamory.
Aug 24, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Short version: This is exactly the poly book that's needed right now. With the concept of polyamory becoming widely known in the mainstream world, many new people are becoming intrigued by it who don't come from an alternative-culture context. The authors address exactly the array of blunders that people in this "second wave" are often making, and why.

Above all the book is practical, like it says in the subtitle. You can get inspiration and radical vision elsewhere; this is where to turn for wha
Jun 25, 2016 rated it did not like it
kind of a crap book full of not that great, at time horribly mean advice. would not recommend. generally unwilling to accept responsibility towards others who have a different needs framework and framed heavily in "there isn't a right way to do poly, but this is the only way to do poly successfully." ...more
Eve P.
Sep 02, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Everyone interested in polyamory
The best book about polyamory I've read so far (and I have read quite a lot).

Living in polyamorous relationships for several years myself now, I really can't praise and recommend this book enough. It touches most of the topics I found important myself and reflects on them in a thoughtful, intelligent, ethical and humorous way.

Amongst other things the book talks about different polyamorous relationship types (hierarchical and non-hierarchical relationships, mono/poly-relationships, veto-power-agr
Feb 18, 2015 rated it really liked it
It's written in a clear and straight-forward style, humourous at times but serious when needed. The writers' concern with consent, communication, and trust made this book a very solid read in my eyes.
There is room for different types of sexual preferences and practices, though they chafe short when it comes to non-binary gender representation. Male is often conflated with having a penis, female with having a vagina, and non-binary identities are not mentioned or even alluded to.
The writers make
Michón Neal
Jul 18, 2015 rated it liked it
I have one main point of contention: they state that a person who's suffered from abuse doesn't have a good sense of where their physical boundaries lie. They don't seem to be too familiar with people who fall into other categories like survivors, physically or mentally disabled, queer, people of color, and others but most of the information is more or less accurate, if brief.

This is a good starting book for regular people new to poly. It covers some basics. Though it won't help you with the day
Sep 11, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: poly-books
Long-winded, and in fact longer than it needs to be.

Also the most prescient analysis of ethics in relationships. Incredibly solid reasoning, profoundly compassionate, and just overall awesome. Everyone should read it - independently of their orientation or romantic inclinations. I simply cannot recommend this enough.

If you are looking for a softer, quicker introduction to polyamory, I'd go for Opening Up, but follow it up with this one.
Mar 27, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: sachbuch
It was a slow read for me in the beginning until I found my way into the book. It provides a wealth of information and many good thought points that sometimes you can't understand that you've never considered before. I enjoyed a lot that the book focused on romantic relationships instead of on sex (though sex and sexual health get their chapters). All in all, a book that I'd definitely recommend for anyone who wants a deeper understanding of poly relationships and how to make them work. ...more
Dec 31, 2018 rated it really liked it
Voluntary research has taken me to some wild places. Also, telling my boyfriend I'm reading a book on polyamory was very entertaining.

This was extremely educational, schooling me on some preconceived societal ideas and patterns about both monogamy and polygamy. The personal story examples of people in polyamorous relationships help with contextualizing and explicating the many forms of polyamory and the "good" and "bad" that comes with it.
Jun 03, 2018 rated it really liked it
Been a crazy three years while I’ve been reading this book. Mistakes have been made, growth has happened. If things were different in my life and I’d heard about poly sooner, Solo Poly fits my personality. But life requires adjustments. I’m married to a wonderful man and I have two awesome kids. That makes the navigation more tricky but books like this help tremendously. This book has been immensely helpful as a starting point in navigating polyamory. After reading it, I’d say I know a lot more ...more
Jun 12, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: anyone interested in exploring polyamory, or has poly friends
I think this a really important book, especially for anyone who is curious about polyamory, starting out/opening up their relationship, or for friends of polyamorous people wanting to understand what it's all about. I really liked the open approach Eve and Franklin took with this book, how honest they were about their past and current relationships, their trials and errors, so that hopefully readers who are new to polyamory can see how certain approaches might not work as well as others, and the ...more
Oct 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I started reading this book back in June and didn’t finish it until now. That’s not because I didn’t like. It wasn’t too long. Rather, I enjoyed it so much that I didn’t want it to end. From start to finish I was inundated with new information and relationship advice.
I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone in improving their communication skills for romantic relationships.

Yes, this book is about polyamory. Polyamory comes in many shapes and sizes but generally: “It's a form of romantic relationsh
This book was a much-anticipated pre-order. Franklin Veaux writes one of my favorite polyamory blogs. I find his perspectives refreshingly balanced, sane, and unfluffy. He advocates strongly for self-care, viewing your partners as people first and relationships second, and examining your own preferences and prejudices in order to create the kinds of relationships you really want, not the kinds you're told to want.

The book skews strongly towards fully open, rules-free, family-style polyamory. Spe
Jun 12, 2019 rated it really liked it
20190612 ◊ As someone who's repeatedly read (and owned) all three editions of The Ethical Slut since it first came out in the '90's, it was refreshing to read a different take on ethical polyamory. More Then Two does indeed offer up new perspectives and interesting ideas to chew on. However, some sections did make me go a bit squinty. The authors sound pretty confident that they know the One True Way to do poly; their attitude seems to be "Sure, others are free to do it differently, but just so ...more
I originally rated four stars because I think the writing style could've been more concise, but that's a quibble of a criticism. This book deserves five stars; it's the best book on polyamory I've read so far. It's my bible. This is the book I come back to again and again. It's the book that focuses on ETHICS,
on respecting all of the people in your life (that includes yourself!) while loving more than one person. If you're just starting out in non-monogamy, I recommend reading Tristan Taormino's
Eduardo Santiago
Sep 24, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: everyone
Exceptional. This is the relationship manual for thinking adults. Equal parts stuff I’ve long known (be kind; recognize other people; listen), stuff I’ve learned the hard way (listen even more; talk, too; set boundaries), and stuff I didn’t yet know (on rules; on even better communication). The fact that Veaux and Rickert get the first two-thirds perfectly right assures me that they know what they’re talking about in the other third. They are deeply moral and highly intelligent, a combination I’ ...more
Laura Wallace
Aug 15, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, the2010s
this book is full of thoughtful advice that could be as useful for monogamous people as for poly people, since it's all about being ethical and intentional in your relationships, improving your communication, regarding other people as whole people, and other stuff that we should all strive to practice. it's probably one of my favorite self-help-type books I've read. and not just because it has a lot of juicy personal anecdotes and "case studies" which you know I love. and I guess that categoriza ...more
Jul 13, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: gift-ideas
This was a great book: provides extremely valuable insights into how to handle ethical non-monogamous relationships, challenges one runs into and how to overcome them.

Highly recommended for polyamorous people, but I would also suggest it for curious monogamists wanting to know more about the lifestyle: several chapters would be valuable and insightful for anyone who isn't a recluse. I would understand if some monogamists prefer to avoid exposure to non-conventional ideas, however my own subjecti
MaryAnn Vega
Jul 21, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
As a fan of self-reflection and emotional integrity this book pleased me from the beginning by mentioning how important it is to make sure that you work at being emotionally vulnerable and emotionally intelligent.

The emphasis on feelings as things you feel instead of things that you are is something I feel the general population needs to be exposed to.

The advice about working at courage and working at feeling secure is invaluable and I would recommend this book to people even if they weren't con
Christopher Farrell
Nov 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I don't think I've ever had a book that has resonated this much with me in a very long time. A poly relationship is one that needs special work and attention, and this book provides a massive amount of information, help, and insight into how to make it work. As Veaux states in the last chapter, it all comes down to "Love more, be awesome." I'd add "Be mindful" at the end of that, but that's just me. This is a must read for poly relationships (I'd actually argue that this book would benefit all t ...more
Jun 05, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Excellent, practical, and compassionate explanation of polyamory and its place in everyday life. Perfect for anyone to read if they are polyamorous, are polyamory-curious, or know/love someone who identifies as polyamorous. Non-judgemental, humorous, and supportive advice for everyone fills each chapter, covering everything imaginable from health concerns to jealousy to telling your parents and/or children. Highly recommended.
Aug 27, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This is a great thorough book detailing the pitfalls and joys of romantic relationships. A lot of the skills this book details are relationship skills, not just poly skills, and the strong focus on ethics is wonderful
Jun 12, 2014 rated it it was amazing
One of the best books written on polyamory--thoughtful, clear, comprehensive, and both ethical and practical. It's also very well written. Anyone interested in polyamory should read this book. ...more
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