I received this book late one evening after an all-night bender. A shadowy man clothed in what appeared to be a bathrobe blocked my exit from the tavern I where I had the misfortune of spending the last of of my inheritance on Grouse. This mysterious man held the book before me and simply said, read or readn’t, which I assumed was a display of his lack of basic English. I chose to read. Though it was only 12 pages, it took me weeks to read. My life began to subtly change. I started shaving again. Alcohol became repulsive to me. I flushed my pills, and made every effort to greet strangers with a warm friendly smile. I became the best version of myself. I longed to improve the lives of others so one evening I put on my most beautiful bathrobe and blocked the exit at the pub I once frequented. I passed this book to a man on a similar path that I once walked.
I felt happy at first, but began to miss my book. Now I return nightly to the bar, bottle in hand, wasting away in hopes that My Princess Carriage will one day return to me.