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On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone
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On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone

3.76  ·  Rating details ·  251 ratings  ·  39 reviews
At some point over the course of the average American woman’s life, she will find herself alone, whether she is divorced, widowed, single, or in a loveless, isolating relationship. And when that time comes, it is likely that she will be at a loss as to how to handle it. As a society, we have an unspoken but omnipresent belief that a woman alone is an outcast, inherently fl ...more
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published March 20th 2007 by Harmony (first published January 1st 2007)
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3.76  · 
Rating details
 ·  251 ratings  ·  39 reviews

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Dec 01, 2008 rated it liked it
I think the title is a little misleading. The book is really about what it means to be a woman in her own right as separate as possible from societal pressures that force so many women to suppress their real life passions. It's written by a therapist based on her experiences helping women discover their true selves, so it's very anecdotal. It's about embracing oneself as whole person with a unique identity that is not directly tied to one's role.
Jun 02, 2012 rated it really liked it
Being newly single for the first time in about ten years, this book is a life saver. It has been my therapy in getting through separation, filing for divorce, another break up and ultimately living alone in a new town with a new job, trying to make new friends. I recommend it to any woman who feels that they are "going it alone" even in a small way. This book renewed my faith in girlfriends, and in myself.
Marie Bee
Feb 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book offers an unflinchingly positive look at what it means to be an independent woman in the modern world. It helped me to answer questions that have been with me for a long time, such as: why is being a Woman Alone such a frightening concept? Why do women (in particular) resist the idea of being alone? What aspects of a young person's development affect how she adapts to or is inclined toward being an independent person? It is not a flawless book by any means, but is very thought-provokin ...more
Ginni Dickinson
Oct 10, 2010 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: all women
I think that it would be benificial for all women, whether they are in a relationship or not, to read this book. The essence of this book is letting women know that it is not only okay, but essential to have time alone. Alone means many, many things. For some it means living alone. For others it may mean ensuring that there is time for solitude built into their lives. There are many great insights in this book. It is very well written. I skipped over about half the vignettes. I preferred to get ...more
Jan 22, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
I did enjoy this book very much. It mirrors a lot of the feelings I had when thinking a lot about being alone, not "with somebody". It confirmed my belief that being alone is not something to be ashamed of, or something that marks you as somehow lacking. But instead it's a time to explore who you really are, a time to enjoy and ultimately it's an enriching experience.
However, I also felt this book was repetitive, and if you're really grappling with adjusting to aloneness, it does not offer any
Yessi Young
Apr 07, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It's not about me

I bought this book for my own sake - to take the information in here and apply it to myself. But I got more out of it than that. Falk's compassion for all women rubbed off on me and reading the book became a way to connect with the women in the stories she presented.

This book has made me excited about my alone time. I think I'll go on vacation for a month to get a taste of real solitude!
Jun 16, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: women
I loved the stories of women clients, her insights and wisdom. Not so much a self-help book as an empowering reminder of the difference between being "alone" and "lonely" and that society still defines a woman's status according to her relationships.
Aug 19, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A really helpful guide to discerning "aloneness"
Sara Underwood
Aug 10, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

I’m read this book while going through my own struggles with being alone. This is a very comforting book, validates a lot of feelings I struggle with. It doesn’t sugarcoat it either, like the tired advice to just love yourself and once you do then your partner will appear. The only drawbacks I encountered were a huge focus on the feminine (as if reclaiming ones feminine side is a pre-requisite to being on your own) and there’s not much direction on specific steps to take to learn to be
Katya Mclemore
Nov 14, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book was a powerful book, and truly insipiring. Though I am not able to relate to the author and what she is writing about in some ways, but in others I am. This book opened my eyes to realize the struggles that a lot of women go through these days, and all alone. Yes, I would recommend this book.
Shivi Bhalla
Aug 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A Bible for every woman. It enables a true woman inside every female to emerge and reach to her full potential.
Dec 28, 2007 rated it it was ok
I felt a little gyped when I started this book to find out that the author was raising childen after her divorce. That to me is very different than being completely alone, as children are company/companionship of a sort - though I understand it's not the same as having a partner.

She makes a good point about the cultural emphasis we have on "packaging" ourselves up to be appealing to men (or women) with the point being to be part of a couple. The other good point that she makes is that we don't
Sep 04, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
More than likely, at some point in our lives, we are all going to find ourselves alone. Relationships fall apart. Children leave home. Our spouse passes. It’s sad and rather scary when we enter a new phase of our life but what’s really awful is the terror we put ourselves though.

It’s the new millennium. Women have secured the right to vote and work alongside men in most any job that suits their fancy. Yet, somehow we still see a woman without a man (and by association, children) in a negative l
Jan 08, 2016 rated it it was ok
While this book talked about some good points, the overall tone of the book was very slow. I forced my way through the end of it. Focuses very much on heteronormative, monogamous relationships. At the end of the book, the author mentions something about homosexual relationships between women. I only wish that some of these accounts were shared throughout the book. Overall, the book is self perpetuating--almost a sob story within itself, sharing the idea that women need to have solitude, but plan ...more
Rebecca Tolley
Aug 15, 2016 rated it really liked it
Surprisingly good, though the parts delving into childhood wounds that affect us as adult women was rough going. This is a mix of anecdote, pop psychology, and cultural observation about women living alone and how much of women's self-value and societal value is predicated on her being in relationship with a partner, typically a man. Basically, Falk suggests that there are strengths found within solitude that women (or anyone else) can never know if they're in a nested, long term marriage or civ ...more
Enjoyable read, a bit repetitive. A good overall book of how women need to and should become comfortable with themselves as women, rather then needing to be defined by a man, a family, etc. It's a bit off, as some of these stories are women with children, and as another reviewer put it, when one has kids, one still isn't totally alone. I could also turn it around though, and ask why there was no mention of women having a dog or cat or other animal, as animals make good companions as well, withou ...more
Mar 19, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: women-s-issues
This book covered a topic not often considered in the plethora of self-help manuals flooding the book markets: how to successfully live as a woman without a mate. While I was intrigued by this premise, I found the author to be somewhat redundant in the presentation of her ideas, with more anecdotal references than original thoughts. Yet and still, I it did lead me to new considerations about the solitary woman's place in American society.
Sep 20, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Written by a psychotherapist, one who has not had the occupation throughout the entirety of her adult life. Interesting varied perspective gleaned from her own experience and stories from other women as told to her.

An unpretentious and likable narration. Probably would appeal to most women. Sisterly and reassuring. Probably more appropriate to a more mature age group than myself, yet I found it to be a compelling read.
Jan 16, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: spiritual
This book was helpful for me to see being alone as not lonely, but actually full filling of my own needs and self-discovery. It made me realize that it is healthy for my own spiritual development and expansion of creativity. Though it can be hard, it is necessary to embrace time alone instead of always relying on having a man that isn't right for me out of fear of being alone.
Aug 08, 2009 rated it liked it
I'm setting this aside while I work on school assignments, but I'm definitely coming back to this - because it's an amazing perspective to consider ways that society tries to tell me that I'm wrong because I don't have a man in my life. In actual fact, I'm more right now than I've ever been before!
Jun 15, 2011 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Solo Mamas
Another often recommended book to my clients. If you are struggling with loneliness, or afraid of being a woman alone in the world, this book is a powerful read. Florence Falk will help you shift from fear and shame to empowerment, grace and joy.
Nov 07, 2007 added it
Recommends it for: windy
I didn't finish this book. It read the first few chapters and the auther seemed to repeat herself, but with differant ways of saying the same thing. So I prettty much got what she had to say and moved on to another book.
Apr 28, 2016 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed it but there is a disconnection between chapters which seem repetitive.I perceived the sequencing in this book slightly and unnecessarily off.Overall I truly appreciated this book and recommend it to my friends.
Mar 01, 2015 rated it really liked it
There's quite some food for thought here, but even though I agreed with what I read, no big ideas stuck with me. It seems that this would be a good book to take notes from so that you can use them as springboards to further growth.
Jan 23, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: wishlist
This is an awesome read for any woman facing the worl alone and not in a relationship. It teaches how to be ok with this even though society teaches us different. For the single woman trying to wade through the "So when are you getting married? and So when are you going to have kids?" questions.
Oct 05, 2011 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: All women
Recommended to Sandy by: Sally Hellane
This is a great read for all women. I am very happily married and I am on my own - as are we all. Jump into this book and you'll be captured with new insights and vigor for living your own unique life.
Jun 09, 2014 rated it really liked it
There are some wonderful mini-bios and bits of advice and information in this book. It's not just about women alone, as in w/o partners, but about how to be at peace with ourselves no matter what.
Aug 01, 2007 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all women and some men
This book reminds us of the multifarious gifts that we can give to ourselves by actively engaging in solitude.
Katharine Holden
Sep 26, 2013 rated it it was ok
Odd, repetitive, heavy on the self-pity. Author Is raising children and has large, close family, but considers herself "alone" because she no longer is married.
Jun 24, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: read-in-2011
This is more of a 3.5, I think. It was an interesting read, mostly for the discussion of the differences between "aloneness" and "loneliness."
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“We, who are so schooled in the art of listening to the voices of others, can often hear our own voice only when we are alone. . . For many women, the first choice, then, is to give ourselves the necessary time and space in which to renew our acquaintance with our lost voice, to learn to recognize it, and to rejoice as we hear it express our truth.” 84 likes
“Aloneness is an opportunity, a state brimming with potentiality, with resources for renewed life...In the space of aloneness...a woman is free to admit and act on her own desires. It is where we have the opportunity to discover that we are not a half but a sovereign whole.” 6 likes
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