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Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage

4.15  ·  Rating Details ·  244 Ratings  ·  24 Reviews
Are your in-laws poisoning your marriage? Bestselling author Susan Forward shows you how to manage their behavior without jeopardizing your relationship with your spouse. Toxic in-laws come in a variety of guises. There's the Critic, who can't wait to tell you what you're doing wrong: the Controller, who tries to run your life; the Engulfer, who makes constant demands on y ...more
Paperback, 304 pages
Published October 15th 2002 by Harper Perennial (first published 2001)
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Kazza
Sep 06, 2014 Kazza rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
One of the biggest issues when couples come into relationship counselling is the in-laws. Sometimes it isn't even at a conscious level (although often it is) until everything becomes about "your mother"... "your father"....This book is an excellent tool to help you understand why you feel as you do and how to deal with the difficulties in a reasoned and helpful manner.

Susan Forward always has an engaging and straightforward writing style, and once again that is to the fore here.
Sun
Mar 01, 2007 Sun rated it liked it
I stopped reading this book when I got to the most applicable advice: sometimes it's best to just cut em loose.
Lize
Dec 16, 2011 Lize rated it liked it
Shelves: 2002, psychology
My notes from 2002: "Two months after the wedding and I'm reading a book called 'Toxic Inlaws'. Which mostly proved that it could be a lot worse. Got some tips for coping and what my rights are in the relationship."
Eve
Jul 31, 2016 Eve rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Toxic In Laws is a well-crafted, thought-provoking look at the dynamics that occur in many, if not most families. The great thing about this book is that everyone can find elements of what goes on with every married couple - to a greater or lesser extent. Sometimes things are a combination of factors and the author points out that everyone is a product of his or her own family history. She takes the blame out of the scenarios she presents, and gives the reader concrete tools and even verbal stra ...more
Katie
Jul 12, 2012 Katie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I have been married for 6 years, and I wish that I had read this book 5 years and 11 months ago. If you have difficult in-laws, this is is an excellent book to help you. It gave me insight into the root of the problem, helped me acknowledge how I was contributing to the problem and gave me steps to work forward to reclaim out house from a critical and controlling matriarch. Everyone has their problems, and this gives you tools to address those issues. Personally, the most helpful section was the ...more
Melissa Brasil
Mar 31, 2014 Melissa Brasil rated it it was amazing
I have an overbearing mother in law who never believes that any of her children are genuinely happy. I was the first in the family to come in as my husband is the oldest. I was mentally and emotionally abused by her so badly that I almost left my husband. I could no longer handle my mother-in-law. The sad thing is is that she is still doing this today to her other daughter in laws and son in laws.
This book helped me to understand why she is the way that she is. I pray for her anger everyday and
...more
Meg
Apr 03, 2007 Meg rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone with problematic in-laws
This book was wonderful!!!! The first half deals with introducing the different categories of toxic in-laws. The second half tells you how to protect your marriage. Reading the first half of this book actually prompted me to email the author and thank her for writing it. It helped to make me feel less guilty about my feelings toward my in-laws. It also helped my husband understand what I've been feeling.
Lori Larsen
This book was incredibly helpful to me in learning new strategies in dealing with my toxic in laws/people in general. Really well written and gives great examples. Unfortunately, my relationship status with my ILs has not improved or changed, but this book has been helpful in realizing how to better deal with their nastiness, move one and take my 50% responsibility.
Jaclyn Gadberry
Aug 05, 2016 Jaclyn Gadberry rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This has been a fantastic read. Seeing others have the same issues has helped me realize I'm not alone, and that the behavior of my in-laws is not appropriate and harmful. This book teaches you how you can regain control of your marriage, and how to communicate effectively with your partner and how to be a team. Highly recommend
Amy
Feb 27, 2014 Amy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Helped remind me I am not the only one going through this. The book was excellent, and after reading the "engulfers" and the "controllers" chapter, I felt as if the book was written especially for me. Even though the strategies in the book probably won't help me much, it is nice to know I am not alone in this struggle.
Jennifer
Mar 24, 2016 Jennifer rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great book. Very helpful insights and tools to help anyone take the steps needed to improve their relationships with their in-laws and spouse. Nothing takes the place of in-person therapy or marriage counseling, but a great resource.
Mindi
Jul 02, 2008 Mindi rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help-books
This book was excellent. I highly recommend this for anyone struggling with in-laws that are difficult. I always thought it was me... until I read this book. Then, I realized that my in-laws were driving us away with their actions. So glad I read it... it helped to open my eyes.
Katie
Nov 07, 2010 Katie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-10
This was well written with very good examples. There is a section on how to actually deal with difficult people / family at the end. This book was not applicable to my life so I can't really comment on its effectiveness, but it was well written.
Kermit
Mar 11, 2013 Kermit rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Note that MY in-laws are not toxic...
Ellemuskov
Aug 06, 2012 Ellemuskov rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This offered great insight into something that I am dealing with. I am so thankful for all the advice in this book. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is dealing with troubling inlaws.
Jyllian Martini
Jan 16, 2008 Jyllian Martini rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It certainly let me know I'm not alone!
Melinda
Feb 14, 2010 Melinda rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Made me appreciate my in-laws more.
Tie
Sep 05, 2016 Tie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book gave me some perspective. My in-laws didn't seem so bad after reading what others go through. It offered pretty good advice for the areas applicable to my situation.
Jahque Sweeney-Hill
One of the tools that saved my marriage. EXCELLENT!!!!!
Karen
Feb 24, 2016 Karen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Read this one for work. Sound advice and perspectives for many different scenarios and relationships.
Nikki
Apr 18, 2013 Nikki rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Lots of useful strategies for learning to live with difficult in-laws. Wish I would've found it 25 years ago!
Abbie
Mar 08, 2011 Abbie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
BEST BOOK EVER!!!!
Bobbi
Bobbi rated it it was amazing
Apr 22, 2015
Amanda Easton
Amanda Easton rated it it was amazing
Dec 11, 2012
Alexis Fraser
Alexis Fraser rated it really liked it
May 12, 2017
Penny
Penny rated it it was ok
Aug 23, 2012
Lavinia
Lavinia rated it liked it
Mar 29, 2016
Loraida E. Santiago Mendez
Loraida E. Santiago Mendez rated it it was amazing
Oct 15, 2016
Amy Williams
Amy Williams rated it really liked it
Jan 30, 2013
Megan
Megan rated it liked it
Oct 27, 2014
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One of the nation’s leading therapists, as well as a best selling author, dynamic lecturer and frequent talk-show guest. In addition to her private practice, she has served as a therapist, instructor and consultant for many Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities. She is the author of the #1 New York Times best sellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents ...more
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