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83 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2014























"I'm not going anywhere, and there's nothing to fix. I'm going to stay here until my liver stops functioning, and then I'm going to slide into a blissful, peaceful, uneventful death."




















Words come pouring out before I can stop them. "Does everyone in England have crooked teeth like that?"
"Whoa nelly," Mia exclaims, "that's enough champagne for you!" She grabs my glass out of my hand and hands it unceremoniously over to the handsome William-imposter.
She pushes me into the ladies room. "You don't tell people who you just met that their teeth are all fucked up!"
"I didn't say that!" "I like them like that. I was just wondering..."
"Yeah. I heard you the first time. You were wondering if everyone in England has fucked up teeth."
"I know, I don't mean to be a freak. It's just that his teeth reminded me of someone."

"She sighs, blowing the stink of Cheetoes all over my face. I hold my breath to keep from hurling."



