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I'll Never Write My Memoirs

3.72  ·  Rating details ·  1,327 ratings  ·  215 reviews
Legendary influential performer Grace Jones offers a revealing account of her spectacular career and turbulent life, charting the development of a persona that has made her one of the world’s most recognizable artists.

As a singer, model, and actress—a deluxe triple threat—Grace has consistently been an extreme, challenging presence in the entertainment world since her emer
Hardcover, 400 pages
Published September 29th 2015 by Gallery Books (first published September 24th 2015)
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Jul 14, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: music, autobiography
“I decided from an early age that the best form of defense was attack. and that taking on the world and living life to the fullest was how I would deal with setbacks and problems. This means you leave behind quite a trail. What you do gets noticed.”- Grace Jones, I’ll Never Write My Memoirs

Grace Jones is a model, singer, actress, and many other things. She threw eggs at cabs in Paris that didn’t stop for her, hung out with Andy Warhol, lived as a nudist for a while, and is the kind of woman wh
Raul Bimenyimana

Grace Jones is a style icon, known for her work as a model, singer, and actor. This memoir is a record of her life, growing up under an abusive house as a child and later her rise to fame. Grace Jones’ music is what would be termed underground, not mainstream and cherished mostly by a cult –mostly gay– fanbase, something Grace Jones prides in. All this together with her roles in films like the Bond movie A View To Kill as well as her publicized and much rumoured private life, and relationships a
Nov 13, 2015 rated it really liked it
3,5 Stars!
Grace Jones is the definitive controversy. Some hate her with passion and believe she's trashy and pontificates everything wrong in the music industry and others love her to death as the ultimate idol. Progressive, strong, interesting and an absolute delight, no matter in which category you belong, there is no way you won't enjoy this book.

Funny, lighthearted, and even hilarious one moment and the next, it transforms into a deep and raw psycho-gram. A story that is a bit repetitive in
Suzanne the Bookaholic and Proud
I don't read many autobiographys, I can count on one hand how many I have read, but with Grace Jones everything is fantasy and wild and no hjolds barred.

I just love Grace Jones, from the first time seeing her in film as Zula in Conan, alongside Arnie, then to seeing her in James bond as Mayday, I have always been intrigued with her flamboyant actions, to her excitement over things, well now you get to read where it all started and take a trip through the years with grace by your side.

I have to
Dec 06, 2015 marked it as to-read
I had to be a bitch to maintain any kind of authority. Well, if I were a man, I wouldn't have been considered a bitch. If I were a man, I would simply have been in charge, however aggressive and demanding I was. I wouldn't have had other people running about filming things behind my back. A man putting his foot down is in control. It's strong. A woman putting her foot down is out of control. She's weak. ...more
Victoria Sadler
Oct 23, 2015 rated it liked it
I adore Grace Jones but perhaps she should have stuck to her original promise to not write her memoir because this book is all over the place and, worse, at times seems to destroy the mystery.

Of course all the partying is here - Andy Warhol, Jerry Hall, Dolph Lundgren. And this part of the book is interesting. But too often she seems an unreliable narrator - One moment she's saying she was the only person to get Michael Jackson on the dance floor at Studio 54, the next she's saying she barely kn
Alex Sarll
Grace Jones has written a memoir. Yes, like a lot of famous non-writers, there's an 'as told to' - but that's not some hack who's flattened her out, it's her once and future collaborator Paul Morley. And this emphatically does not read like a Paul Morley book, it reads like Grace Jones telling her life story.

You need more than that?

"What follows is the me I have made up, rather than the one made up by other people." She doesn't claim to be authoritative, she doesn't want to shut down the other v
"I can be a pain, but most of all, I can be a pleasure."

Stated in the prologue, I flagged this comment in the margins of my book, and now I see it's actually a nice summation of her entire memoir. Because while it could have used some substantial and judicious editing and condensing, overall what's here is mostly a pleasure to read, a raucous romp through the second half of the twentieth century through the perspective of one of pop culture's most iconic—and iconoclastic—personalities.

Of all th
Oct 24, 2015 rated it liked it
Grace is quite the character and much of her persona was crafted to fill a void. All the world is a stage and the men and women merely players. This truism is exhibited in Grace Jones' memoirs. She was very detailed about her early upbringing in a strict Pentecostal home on the island of Jamaica. Once she was able to join her mother in New York, she was able to breakout literally and figuratively.

She found a space for the shocking, outrageous, outspoken and outlandish female and stepped into tha
Dec 13, 2015 added it
Listen, some days all you need is 300+ pages of Grace Jones telling you that yes, she knows she's awesome. ...more
Barry Pierce
Let me tell you all about one of the most ridiculous, hilarious, and egocentric memoirs I’ve read in a long while. I’ll Never Write My Memoirs is Grace Jones’ attempt to write about her colourful life. As with a lot of celebrity memoirs this wasn’t actually penned by Jones herself, it was told to a journalist who then (somehow) turned it into a narrative. In almost 400-pages, Jones goes from her birth and childhood in Jamaica to her early career in New York and Paris ending in her present life b ...more
Oct 06, 2015 rated it it was ok
Two words: yawn fest. I love Grace. I think she is an amazing performer and her music is fantastic. Upon reading the preface, you think you are going to get so much dirt that even Kitty Kelly would flip out. However, what we are left with is nothing but memedrugsdrugsmemedrugsmemusicme. Some names are changed so you never really know who she's talking about so what's the point. Anyway, Grace has had an interesting life, but there are better bios out there. I struggled to get through this one, th ...more
Oct 08, 2015 rated it really liked it
I've always loved Grace Jones, been fascinated with her since the very first time I heard "La Vie En Rose" as the club was closing and the lights were coming up some late night in 1980 something. I have all of her albums, was the first one in line to see "Vamp" when it came out, have danced to "Pull Up To The Bumper" innumerable times and chilled out to "Libertango" on my WalkMan. I ordered and advance cd copy of "Hurricane" as soon as it was available. I'm a fan.

She is ageless, timeless, fascin
Jan 23, 2016 rated it it was ok
I wish this was better.
Jan 30, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bookclub
This is a five-star story told in a three-star narrative. It needed either a stronger ghostwriter or a stronger editor, or, possibly, both.
May 24, 2018 rated it liked it
My brother took me to see Grace Jones perform when I was still living at home, which is so long ago, I don't remember the year. I'd never heard of her, but I bought her albums afterwards. She was clearly a link to queer culture, which I was a bit starved for, living in suburban Bethesda. So when I saw her memoir at the library book sale here in Ohio, I couldn't resist. The book turned out to be both better and not as good as I'd hoped (I know, that makes no sense, but that's what reading this bo ...more
Aug 21, 2015 rated it really liked it
Cool to read about other famous people, like her sharing an apartment in Paris with other young models Jerry Hall and Jessica Lange, but really the best was following the development of her ideas around art and how she conceived of her own image.

On One Man Show:

"I was behaving in a way that was certainly not perceived to be African, or Jamaican, not least because the show was clearly interested in things African and Caribbean people apparently had no interest in because it wasn't part of their
Oct 02, 2015 rated it liked it
Things I learned reading this book:
Grace Jones is way fucking cooler than you, so cool she turned down a role in Blade Runner because she didn't want to sell out. Andy Warhol and Debbie Harry threw her baby shower at the legendary Paradise Garage. She prefers to take her cocaine rectally. And perhaps most shockingly, before becoming an actor, Dolph Lundgren was awarded a Fulbright scholarship to study Chemical Engineering at MIT.
Nov 24, 2017 rated it really liked it
GJ serves up her origin story, personal philosophies, celebrity anecdotes, strong opinions, rambling reminiscences, and a heapin' helpin' of self-romanticization. It's a fun read, and my only qualm (which almost knocked my rating down to 3 stars) is the poor editing. Someone did NOT go through and delete all the repetition, and there is a LOT of it. Even so, if you love Grace Jones (and how could you not?), you'll certainly enjoy the book. ...more
Nov 08, 2015 rated it it was ok
I really wanted to like this, I'm not really fan of her music but she always struck me as someone interesting and in control of her life. Unfortunately even with a ghost she can't write. A really hard book to get through. Disappointing. ...more
Andy Moss
Oct 18, 2016 rated it it was ok
Surpisingly dull and tedious. There's not much of a coherent narrative as ghostwriter Paul Morley seems led by whatever Jones fancies talking about that day (usually herself in the abstract of how great she is). None of the Factory/ 70s New York stuff provides anything new. You get the feeling that Jones provided a blank canvas for people to use, but she herself was a very passive part of the era. (To be charitable she may also have been part of that - to re-appropriate - if you remember New Yor ...more
Mrs. Palmer
Oct 16, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: memoir, 2015
A solid memoir relating to the entertainment industry. I could hear her voice coming through the pages, as though she were talking to me. Grace Jones is a character, but she's also a person. I was really fascinated by her ruminations about her life and the fact that she enjoys jigsaw puzzles! So much of her personality came through...or what you want to see of her personality. I'll probably want to read it again. Most entertainment memoirs have their fare share of namedropping, but it never felt ...more
Jan Sulmont
Jul 26, 2016 rated it liked it
quite repetitive "i am more underground than most" "i knew andy warhol and issey miyake" BUT what a story in extraordinary settings. read with YouTube close at hand to check out music videos & talkshow misdemeanor ...more
Maya B
Jul 29, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: memoir
This was an ok read. We all know celebrities do not wrote their own stories and I could definitely tell in this one. This book felt more like she was talking to the writer and not the reader. What I did like was that she was very candid about the crazy life she has lived.
Jan 17, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2016
Emma Reed
Oct 19, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Grace Jones, big fan of cocaine, orgies and Ravensburg jigsaw puzzles comes over as a surprisingly down to Earth in this very well written biography. Until the last chapter. And the rider at the back. Well worth a read.
Nov 11, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Being a big fan of raw undiluted art and always believing Grace was on the wild side is what made reading this scribe thrice the speechless treat.

The picture provided of Jamaica and parts of its culture, particularly compared and related to black American culture, and the differences noted between the slave systems was priceless. Many of the phrases splayed throughout her memoir captivated me as well. Often absurd but lyrical writing. Very beautiful. Loved what seemed to be at the core of her es
Alessandro  Viscontini
Nov 10, 2015 rated it really liked it
I don't usually review books I read, however I wanted to make an exception for Grace Jones' autobiography, I'll never write my memoirs.

I've always fanboyed over Grace Jones' due to her originality, shockingly vibrant looks and appearance, as well as her obvious love for art, taking all advantages that life gives you, as well as wanting to experience, inspire and be inspired. Not to mention her killer voice and sense of fashion, great voice and generally as a true innovator.

First up, she has don
W Davidson
Jun 08, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: biography
I've long considered Grace Jones an iconoclast and innovator, and this biography certainly cements that view. Her unwaivering focus on her unique artistic vision comes across throughout her life story. There is a lot of fascinating information on her artistic collaborations, especially the Jean-Paul Goude period which produced so many of her iconic images and created the definitive Grace Jones brand. I would have however loved more detail about her music which is given less coverage than I'd exp ...more
Jul 26, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Several things happened while reading Grace Jones' autobiography, I'll Never Write My Memoirs. First, I felt that other-worldly feeling I always had of her slowly slip away as I read about her mortal life. I always thought Grace's appearance in fashion and music heralded the dawn of a new age. I'm completely serious when I say that. I always felt as long as she is still with us, anything is possible. Shattering that illusion probably wasn't the smartest thing I could have done. So I read and rea ...more
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