Things No One Taught Us About Love: How to Build Healthy Relationships with Yourself and Others – A Guide to Self-Love, Healing, Growth, and Lasting Connection

by Vex King

Things No One Taught Us About Love is a concise paperback that distils the ideas found in Vex King’s hardback book Closer to Love, reworked and presented in the warm, relatable style of his No. 1 bestseller Good Vibes, Good, Life.This extraordinary book is for anyone looking to harness the power of the universe, and their own self-understanding, to manifest stronger, deeper relationships.Bestselling author of Good Vibes, Good Life, Vex King is back with a life-changing guide to strengthening your relationships by learning to love yourself, and understanding the true nature of love.Many of us expect romantic love to solve our problems and validate our worth. This burden strains modern relationships. Partners become frustrated when unable to meet each other’s idealized and impossible demands. Broken dreams of a life-long romance can leave people feeling incomplete and hopping from one partner to another.It’s no wonder we struggle, given that society fails to teach us about the true nature of love. We’ve been misled into thinking love is external - somewhere out there - rather than a force within us.Vex King dismantles the myths and misconceptions surrounding love and relationships. Packed with personal stories, expert advice and inspirational messages, Things No-one Taught Us About Love will help you understand how you love, create healthy habits, set boundaries that work for you, and heal unprocessed emotion and trauma.'A long-term relationship will die and be reborn a thousand times. It doesn’t matter how long you are with someone, but how willing you are to stay open to the new versions of them (and yourself) that are certain to arise.' - Vex King'A must read if you are seeking to elevate your relationships and your life.' Yung Pueblo, New York Times #1 Bestselling author of Clarity & Connection and Lighter

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Love, Psychology, Personal Development, Audiobook

320 pages, Paperback

Published January 14, 2025

About the author

Vex King is the Number 1 Sunday Times Bestselling author of Good Vibes, Good Life, and Healing is the New High. He is also a social media content creator and mind coach. He experienced many challenges when he was growing up: his father died when Vex was just a baby, his family were often homeless and he grew up in troubled neighbourhoods where he regularly experienced violence and racism. Despite this, Vex successfully turned his whole life around and is now leading a revolution for the next generation of spiritual seekers.

As a major voice in the world of personal development, Vex shares deep spiritual knowledge in a way that's easy to understand, with stories from his own life, great inspirational quotes and practical solutions.

For more inspiration from Vex, follow his popular social media platforms (all @vexking) and sign up to his mailing list at: www.vexking.com

Reviews

[Balvinder Sopal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well - sometimes you just need reminding of how much you are loved. And not only by others. But more importantly, by yourself. It starts inside of you first.

I found 'Things No One Taught Us About Love' informative and profound. As you delve into the book, you realise how your version of "love" allowed the wrong kind of love to enter into your life. And then confused and messed up your energy. What we realise going through the book is that our energy is precious and scared.

I read parts of this book, I listened to other parts, and at times, I listened and read along at the same time.

The short chapters are brilliant. It means you can go back to specific parts of the guide whenever you need a reminder on anything: boundaries, communication, expectations v's reality, and so much more. I liked the narrators voice, which is why I continued listening. It was calm and soothing.

What I love about good self-help books is that once you become aware of all that is incorrect, your heart desires nothing more than to correct it. You walk around with a protective purple glow (or whatever colour you like) that keeps you from making the same mistakes. Or at least it gently asks you if this is the right thing for you - if what you are doing is actually out of love for yourself, another or out of ego. It also becomes impossible to ignore these traits in other people too.

And so you learn to guide through life with a little more knowledge about the human condition and what it actually means to love. You desire to love the ones you let in the right way. The right way; show up for them and yourself in the right way, nuture love & hold them the right way.

I think Vex King is another favourite author.

A book to keep by the bedside and dip into when you need a little replenishing in the art of what it means to love, deeply.

[Halima Ahad · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

An absolutely amazing book delving into the inner workings of self love and putting this into practice with your relationships with others.

Vex has such a wonderful way with his words which makes you really question yourself, in such a sweet and vulnerable way too, and that’s one thing which I have loved about the Good Vibes collection and how this book ties all of these things up nicely.

Good Vibes, Good Life explores self love, Healing Is The New High teaches growth within your healing journey and Things No One Taught About Us Love ties this up by putting this into practice with your relationships with others.

Couldn’t recommend this book enough. Thank you Vex for writing such a poignant and powerful collection on self love, growth and healing.

[Michael Wijaya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love is pure, love is giving. One of the best books about love.

[Tee's Tree · Rating 5 out of 5]

ดีจนไม่รู้จะอธิบายยังไง เอาเป็นว่าคนโสดควรอ่าน คนมีคู่ควรอ่าน คนที่ชาตินี้ไม่คิดจะแต่งงานควรอ่าน 'เรื่องที่ไม่มีใครสอนเราเกี่ยวกับความรัก' มันไม่ใช่แค่เรื่องเกี่ยวกับความรักหนุ่มสาว แต่มันรวมไปถึงการรักตัวเอง การใส่ใจดูแลตัวเอง ความรักที่ผ่านมาสอนอะไรเรา
อ่านจบแล้วมุมมองความรักเปลี่ยนไปด้วยเลย มีความกระแทกใจในหลายๆตอน ตระหนักรู้เกี่ยวกับความเป็นตัวเองในด้านความรัก

ขอแชร์ประโยคที่ชอบ 2อัน
'รู้ไหมว่า ใครที่จะไม่ทิ้งคุณไปเลย? คุณไงครับ
บางทีมันอาจเป็นความสัมพันธ์ ที่คุณต้องทะนุถนอมมากที่สุดก็ได้ '

'เป็นเรื่องเจ็บปวดเวลาคนอื่นไม่ทําเพื่อคุณ ในสิ่งที่คุณทำเพื่อเขาได้โดยไม่ลังเล แต่กระนั้นการปล่อยวางความคาดหวังก็เป็นวิธีที่แน่นอนที่สุดในการยับยั้งไม่ให้คนอื่นมีอํานาจทําให้คุณเจ็บ
รู้ซึ้งใ้นคุณค่าตัวเอง แล้วคุณจะบอกได้เองว่าคนไหน ควรค่าแก่เวลาและพลังงานของคุณ'

5/5

[Arzalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

such a beautiful book about love <3

[Anne Willems · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ik had hoge verwachtingen, maar ik heb heel weinig nieuwe dingen gelezen. Daarnaast vond ik het langdradig, vaak niet concreet, te veel metaforen bevatten en te zweverig. In het voordeel van de twijfel toch 2 sterren in plaats van 1, omdat ik me voor kan stellen dat het boek boeiender is als je nog niet veel hebt gelezen over dit onderwerp. Ik had verwacht dat het boek vooral over relaties zou gaan, maar ook zelfliefde vormt een belangrijk onderdeel. Als je daar wel naar op zoek bent is het wellicht wel interessant.

[Rebekah Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS WAS PHENOMENAL!

I listened to this as an audiobook and it was just incredible. I think everyone should read or listen to this book at least once in their life as it really is so eye opening, inspirational and full of thought provoking topics and content that really opens up your eyes to why we are the way we are.

I absolutely loved this self help book and I couldn’t recommend it enough!

[Mook Woramon · Rating 5 out of 5]

อ่านเถิด เพื่อเปิดมุมมองความรักให้กว้างขึ้น 😍

พูดถึงเรื่องความรัก ก็ดูเหมือนเรื่องเกร่อ ๆ ที่ผ่านหูผ่านตามาไม่รู้เท่าไหร่
และเพราะมันใกล้ตัวมากนี่แหละ เราก็เลยอยากทำความรู้จักให้ดียิ่งขึ้น

ชอบมุมมองของผู้เขียน ที่ส่งเสริมให้รักตัวเองก่อนเป็นอันดับแรก ความรักที่แท้จริงบริสุทธิ์ ไม่มีเงื่อนไข ไม่ทำร้ายใคร

เรามักเอาความรักไปโยงไว้กับความสัมพันธ์
เราสามารถมีความรักโดยไม่มีความสัมพันธ์ก็ได้
แต่ถ้าเลือกที่จะผูกสัมพันธ์เราต้องใช้ความพยายาม ลดอีโก้ ให้เกียรติ ใกล้ชิด สื่อสาร ซื่อสัตย์ พูดง่าย ทำยากโนะ 😅😅

สิ่งที่มักทำให้เราเจ็บปวดคือความคาดหวังที่เรามีต่อคนรัก เราไม่ควรคาดหวังให้ใครเป็นทุกอย่างให้เรา เพราะเราก็ทำแบบนั้นให้เขาไม่ได้เหมือนกัน

ความรักก็คือความรัก แม้ความสัมพันธ์จะจบลง แต่ความรักที่เกิดขึ้นแล้วคือเรื่องจริง

เมื่อความสัมพันธ์จบลง เราเจ็บเพราะเราไม่ได้แค่เสียเขาไป แต่เราเสียกิจวัตร แผนการ ความฝัน อนาคตที่เคยวาดไว้ร่วมกัน
เพราะฉะนั้นจงให้เวลาเยียวยา อดทน เมตตากับตัวเอง ยอมรับความจริง
การยึดติดกับภาพลวงตา มีแต่จะทำให้ความทุกข์ยาวนานขึ้น

ใด ๆ ก็ตามคุณสามารถอยู่ได้ด้วยตัวคนเดียวโดยไม่ต้องมีคู่และสามารถสัมผัสรักอันไร้เงื่อนไขได้ คุณอยู่ในความสัมพันธ์กับตัวเองเสมอ


ยังมีรายละเอียดอีกมากมาย รอให้คุณได้อ่าน 😘

[Dannii Elle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review to follow.

[madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

C’est le deuxième livre de Vex King que je dévore d’une traite, celui-ci est indispensable selon moi. Bible de l’amour, j’ai annoté tellement de passages que je souhaite relire. Mon livre est rempli de post-it maintenant. Ces pages m’ont permis de me rendre compte que l’amour est vraiment partout. Il le reflet de ce qu’on possède à l’intérieur de soi. L’amour qu’on ressent n’est autre que celui qui est enfoui au fond de nous. Quand on comprends ça c’est tellement plus simple de savoir ce qui est bon pour nous ou pas et d’écouter son intuition. Il faut apprendre à se délester des attentes qu’on a des autres mais aussi accepter. Accepter ses erreurs, accepter ses faiblesses, accepter le mal qu’on se fait et celui qu’on nous a fait, accepter que les choses soient comme elles sont et comprendre que parfois on ne peut juste pas tout contrôler. C’est dur à mettre en place et c’est un long long long long travail je pense.

Un des passages que j’ai adoré : « Choosing love means getting real and finding your way by tuning into your inner compass. It's trusting the magnetic pull you sense deep in your core without reservation or doubt. Choosing love means surrendering completely to where your heart points, letting it guide each step. You do this because you know love is truth, love is wise, and love is the only thing we can do right. »

[Melody Villers · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Love has the capacity to bring light to the dark corridors of any heart"


"Love rushes in when you allow it"


Meeldis! ✨💛

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘Every relationship consists of two individuals at different stages of consciousness. To evolve together, you must be willing to resolve together- that includes anything that is unhealed within. This is how a relationship matures’
I loved this book, I find vex kings writing style so easy to digest and every book of his I’ve read has been a pleasure.
The focus of this book is that love exists inside of us and this is something that never diminishes, that by loving ourselves we can better love others and that by believing in ourselves and the love that exists inside of us we will never have to out source it.
It also focuses on loving people as they are rather than trying to change them into our own ideals.
I wish this book was written a long time ago as I think it would have helped me to recognise unhealthy patterns.
I will definitely read this again and again.

[Ruchi · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book!

[Bec Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved it - I’ve learnt that, above everything, communication and openness is the key to every relationship (the one with yourself, romantic ones and platonic ones too!)

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ⭐️ I actually learnt a lot about myself and how I conduct myself with others. Even when you think you know it all, you can ALWAYS see things differently and have explanations for how yourself and others may behave.

[Carla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I fear nothing will ever top Good Vibes Good Life, but I wish I had read this book while still in bad past relationships 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[Kim Isgar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up when I was in a grump - but it is genuinely incredibly inspiring. It teaches you about how self love is important and how this will help with all of your relationships. Really enjoyed it and devoured it in two days.

57/100

[Enrique Fernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ever questioned what love truly is, whether in relationships, with themselves, or in life as a whole? It’s not just a book; it’s a perspective shift. King takes the often confusing, messy concept of love and breaks it down into practical, digestible insights that feel like they’re speaking directly to your heart.

One quote that stuck with me is:
“The right partner will not complete you. You are already whole. The right partner will expand you. They will catalyze your growth and elevate your consciousness.”
This perfectly captures one of the book’s central ideas: love isn’t about someone filling a void, it’s about sharing your journey with someone who challenges and inspires you to grow. That perspective alone is worth picking up this book. Moving forward it will be the only way.

What I appreciated most is that this isn’t just about romantic love. King explores self-love as the foundation for every other kind of love in your life. He offers tools for recognizing unhealthy patterns, setting boundaries, and learning to truly value yourself. It’s like having a roadmap for navigating both your inner world and your relationships with others.

The tone of the book is approachable and thoughtful, with moments that really hit home. It doesn’t feel preachy or overly philosophical. It just felt real! Whether you’re healing, searching for clarity, or already in a good place and wanting to deepen your understanding of love, this book will resonate with you.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of unfulfilling relationships or wondered how to align love with personal growth, Things No One Taught Us About Love will feel like a wake-up call in the best way. It’s insightful, uplifting, and filled with wisdom that stays with you long after you’ve finished.

I can’t recommend this enough. Its the kind of book you’ll want to revisit again and again.

[Shabnam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book started off really good and I loved the first half, the second half was a bit less exciting. Maybe because I read the first half in Granada lols

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Imagine:
you wake up early because the person you're staying with has work and you have a flight to catch. Then imagine you're at manchester airport, the security is taking forever because people are inept and brits are getting annoyed. You finally get out and through duty-free (where they give out free alcohol to taste ??). With only one shitty flat white, that you got at the train station cafe, in your otherwise highly caffeinated system, you see a WH Smith. You think to yourself, hm, yes books will fix me. You find a book you've wanted for a while, but WH Smith is clever and it's a buy 1 get 50% off. What a steal. So you see this book and think 'fuck it.' You've started slowly dating again, and since the last guys you dated wanted you dead, there wasn't much time to discuss future dating in therapy. THEN not even halfway into this silly book, the author goes: "if this is something you relate to, you should seek professional help".

Otherwise, this book felt very much like one of those tarot reading tiktoks, which lucky for Vex King, I thoroughly enjoy.

[Kandice Joice · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like picking up books l learn something new from, and while the information presented is relevant it was quite a basic overview of the topic of love.

[Ariana Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the book, and I think the way Vex King uses words and portrays love is beautiful. Also the short chapters are amazing, such an easy read. I liked how we made a deep connection with self-love, and that we need it, in order to find romantic love. I also love the emphasis on attachment styles, and how they change us in our relationships, I'm a big fan of knowing yourself and attachment styles has been a big topic in my life for the past 2 years. I think is a great book, if you're looking to deepen your understanding of yourself and the way you love.

[Rebecca Galbraith · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brilliant little book that celebrates the meaning and qualities of 'true love' and how that looks in practice today. Plenty of wisdom and insight that supports the growth and development of healthy and fulfilling relationships for both parties. Thank you, Vex.

[Feny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Broaden the perspective about love and the essence of love. Such an inspiration.

[Amit Bharti · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will help you to understand the real essence of love and relationships. This book offers a pragmatic role of love in our relationship. We often follow a predetermined rule of love which sets unrealistic expectations.

Vex King's Things No One Taught Us About Love is an enlightening exploration of the complexities of love and relationships. With a pragmatic approach, King challenges the conventional notions and societal norms surrounding love that often lead to unrealistic expectations.

The book delves into the true essence of love, encouraging readers to reflect on how love shapes and influences their relationships. By questioning the "predetermined rules" many of us unconsciously follow, King provides valuable insights into fostering authentic connections.

For those seeking a fresh perspective on love, free from romanticized ideals, this book is a must-read. It offers not only wisdom but also actionable advice to nurture healthy and meaningful relationships.

I would highly recommend you to read this book to embrace yourself and have a realistic approach in relationships.

[Sabine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vex is one of the greats ☺️ great reminders

[Naynesh Desai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found this book as a self help for post breakup situations.


The author has given very simple and easy ways to come over the heartbreak at the same time many ways to deal with different personality and maintain the personal mental hygiene.

A good read for someone who want to accept life and start moving on & also for someone who don’t know what their current relationships looks like.

3/5 stars for the way it’s written & overall helping me gain more insights about love and life 😊

[Simmona Coelho · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet read! Not everything resonated but definitely a nice refresher. Vex has a way with words especially the last few chapters.

[Megan Race · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really trying to get more into self help and non fiction and mum passed this one onto me, did enjoy it but didn’t loveee it.

[Alana · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️