A Beginner's Guide To Christmas

Beginners Guide #3

by Jennifer Joyce

Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations. Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids. Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.

Genres: Christmas, Short Stories, Amazon, Chick Lit, Fiction, Holiday, Humor

69 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 6, 2013

About the author

I'm a writer of romantic comedies who lives in Manchester with my husband and our two daughters. I've been scribbling down bits of stories for as long as I can remember, graduating from a pen to a typewriter and then an electronic typewriter. And I felt like the bee's knees typing on THAT. I now write my books on a laptop (which has a proper delete button and everything).

You can keep up to date with my books by subscribing to my newsletter. The newsletters are packed with book news, exclusive content and giveaways. Sign up here: https://mailchi.mp/310b4ee4365f/jenni...

You can keep in touch with me on Twitter and Instagram (both @writer_jenn) or by liking my Facebook page www.facebook.com/jenniferjoycewrites

Reviews

[Cyndi]

This is absolutely hilarious! Ruth provides a handy list of do’s and don’ts for the Christmas season. The funny part comes when she tells you why she came up with the list.
Ruth’s mom sprains her wrist and can’t cook the family Christmas meals. When she calls Ruth in to help hilarity ensues.
Excellently funny story about all the pitfalls that come up while trying to make a perfect Christmas. 😊🎄

[Lilly]

If you want a free book quick book to read then this is worth picking up, but I agree with another review on here that it should be called Complaints about Christmas because that all Ruth does and it didn't have a real ending. I didn't hate this book but didn't love it either.

[Kelli Santistevan]

I didn’t really think this book was funny and I don’t like that the main character complained throughout the entire book and this book didn’t really have a very good ending but I wanted something short to read and I liked the title of the book. This book would be good to read if you’re looking for something short to read. I read the excerpt in this book for another book written by this author called “A Beginner’s Guide To Salad” and I feel like I will like it better than this book.

[Lisa Bentley]

Synopsis

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Ruth has been roped in to a more active role in her family’s Christmas celebrations. Her mother – incapacitated after falling over a rogue toolbox – has been forced to buy presents, entertain guests, cook Christmas dinner and create the perfect festive event. But is the pressure just too much?

Review

This book, whilst being short – a half an hour read – is the perfect tonic for those dreading the festive season. There is something about Christmas that fills people with dread. They love the whole holiday spirit and the whole gift giving and receiving and the eating until you get the met sweats but the lead up to Christmas can be fraught with all kinds of unnecessary drama and expense.

What Jennifer Joyce does in her story A Beginner’s Guide to Christmas is remind us of all the fun times ahead whilst also offering rather precise interludes of advice.

This short story will get you in the mood for Christmas but will also remind you that preparation is the key!

A Beginner’s Guide to Christmas by Jennifer Joyce is available now

You can follow Jennifer Joyce on Twitter @Writer_Jenn

[Julie]

If you want to get into the Christmassy mood but are pressed for time, this lovely short story is just the ticket as you can read it in a coffee or lunch break. It may be short but it stays with you as it is so well observed. Anyone who has fretted about cooking the perfect Christmas dinner or buying the right present or dealing with relative’s kids on Christmas day after a sugar surge should read this book. One thing is for sure, no matter how bad your Christmas, it will take some doing to beat Ruth’s after her mother’s illness forces her to take over all the preparations. It really isn’t the most wonderful time of year!

[Vicki]

Oh my gosh this was so funny. Ruth is facing Christmas at her mother's house and all the Christmas chores are falling to her. The way she tells this story is so hilarious. Whenever anything needs doing her Mom reminds her that her brother has just endured an 8 hour flight and needs to rest. The sheer number of times that is told to her is uncountable. I laughed at her Aunt Pat coming in and insulting them one by one as they receive her.

If you want a quick laugh this is the book to read.

[Claire Reviews]

Review: A Beginner's Guide to Christmas by Jennifer Joyce Rating: 4/5
 
Review:
A wonderfully funny short story, told in diary form, about the mishaps Ruth has while she returns home to her parents' house over  Xmas.
These diary entries cover a whole range of Xmas nightmares and escapades, my personal favourite involving a supermarket and other people's children. Great Christmas fun.

[Eileen Carter]

Complaints about Christmas

The title of this book should be complaints about Christmas since that is all the main character did. From start to finish. Thankfully this book was a shot story so it wasn't as painful to get through as it could have been. I really did not enjoy this book at all. It was like watching a spoiled brat complain about everything she had to do, though she should be thankfully to be able to help.

[Kathy Bryson]

Treat yourself this Christmas to an hysterical short story at family ties over the holidays! How would you react if your mom called and asked for help with the family holiday get-together? Be honest! It's not an automatic yes. Ruthie does the brave thing and not only pitches, but records the experience in a series of helpful, and brutally honest, lessons that are both familiar and funny!

[Liz Balaam]

A sweet little short story to get everyone into the Christmas spirit.

[Pat Elliott]

I loved this short book. It made me chuckle when the heroine was obliged to help out over Christmas, complete with someone else's little darlings!
This is a quick read - and a fun one too.

[Linda (The Arizona Bookstagrammer)]

Thank you Amazon Prime @amazonorime , and Jennifer Joyce @writer_jenn for this free ebook.
”A Beginner’s Guide to Christmas” (Beginner’s Guide Prequel) by Jennifer Joyce ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Genre: Short Story. Location: From the office Christmas party at a grimy pub to Ruth’s parents’ home in Oldham, England. Time: Christmas.

Ruth (late 20s) has a boss named Kelvin who treats her like dirt, roommates who ignore her, and Gideon, an unreliable boyfriend who treats her like a casual hookup. It’s been this way all her life. So she looks forward to spending Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies, being fed by her mom. However, her mom ends up with her arm in a sling (but refuses to cancel Christmas lunch or the Boxing Day buffet). So Ruth must step up and manage the shopping, cooking, family, friends, kids, and neighbors. Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.

Author Joyce has written a funny, short, easy-to-read comedy of errors. She describes her characters with wit and humor: (RE Aunty Pat: “…when she wafted off to poison someone else with her tongue and fumes”) Her book includes clever, snarky Christmas life lessons: (“Lesson 1: Book Xmas Eve off on 2nd January. Do it quick, before you’ve even removed your jacket.”)
(“Lesson 29: If you’re going to hide chocolate, do it well.”) If you want to get in the Christmas mood (especially if you’re a Grinch), read this book. I’m in my 70s and I think I’ll fake-sprain my arm this holiday season! It’s 4 stars from me!🌵📚💁🏼‍♀️🎀

[whatemsreadingx]

Oh my goodness, this book was hilarious! I really did enjoy reading it.

Christmas time is traditionally very stressful and I feel a lot of us (me included) try to gloss over this when we share our Christmas photos online, which is the complete opposite of what A Beginner's Guide To Christmas does.

Ruth complains, a lot, about what she has to undergo on Christmas day when she just wants to chill but I found that quite endearing, and led me to love Ruth as a character. And with the whole book written for us in Ruth's POV it just solidified that love I had for her.

As the book was from Ruth's POV we got these little comments and remarks that were quite sarcastic and snide (the kind of things we've all thought about whilst preparing for Christmas) and they truly had me laughing my socks off at points!

The family dynamics presented to us in A Beginner's Guide To Christmas also worked really well for this book and just served to remind me of my own family.

My real disappointment though came at the end of the book, I felt the author rounded the story up too quickly and left a few lose ends, just an extra few pages would have finished this off so much better...

On the whole, I did really enjoy reading A Beginner's Guide To Christmas and it gave me some much needed laughs! I only wish it was a little bit longer and the ending was wrapped up better.

[mrsljgibbs]

This is another short Christmas story and as it was free I thought I would give it a try. I was very glad that I did because I really enjoyed it!
From beginning to end it kept me chuckling along. Now I just want to read the other two ‘beginners guides’ books by this Author, so that I can read more about the characters!
After Ruth’s mum suffers a DIY related injury that means she can’t cook Christmas dinner, it is up to Ruth (even though she doesn’t want to do it) to take over the reigns - with disastrous but hilarious results!!!

[Kirsty]

A Beginner's Guide to Christmas - Jennifer Joyce

Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations.

This is a quirky, funny, handy list of do's and don'ts for the festive season. At only 60 pages this is a very quick and entertaining read. This will get you in the festive mood whilst reminding you of the importance of preparation.

Rating 4/5

[Ken Finlay]

The Best thing about “A Beginner's Guide to Christmas” is the title - and that's not saying much.
Ruth is summoned home after her mother sprains her wrist badly.
It's up to Ruth, who can't bake or cook, to prepare the Christmas dinner, deck the tree, etc. All while making a list for future reference - Lesson 20: Just because it’s Christmas, it doesn’t mean you have to take any shit or fall for emotional blackmail. Lesson 7: Never underestimate a recipe, no matter how basic it appears.
It's the sort of book you have to be in the mood for and I definitely wasn't.
2 Stars.

[Sarah]

The story was much shorter than expected, the second half of the book was used to showcase another book written by Jennifer Joyce, which I cannot complain about because it was a Amazon freebie. The story was pretty humorous and made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion. I would have liked the story to have continued on a little more because it finished a little abruptly and I was beginning to enjoy the writer's style.

[Lynn]

A laugh-a-minute story starting with the Office Christmas Party – ending up at her home with family, friends, kids, neighbors and having to do everything because her mother sprained her wrist and can’t do what she always did! Truly a comedy of errors and more then fun to read! Made me feel sorry for mothers who are in their 70’s and 80’s still doing all this stuff for Christmas and really never having had time to enjoy it all!

[K.J. Chapman]

A quick, christmassy read with humour and relatable characters. The christmas rules that kept popping up (pretty much after Ruth made mistakes or bad calls) were a hilarious touch. I didn't understand the purpose of Gideon or why she was dating him, but the other characters made for a dynamic family.

[Zorana]

I love reading novellas during Christmas time so this year I chose this one. The writing style is dynamic and easy to read. It’s funny, but Ruth really doesn’t stop complaining throughout whole book. And there wasn’t any ending.

[Roberta]

Really, really, not to my taste. The main character just lets everyone treat her badly. Her boyfriend is awful to her, but she stays with him. And things don’t improve. I thought this was going to be a jolly Christmas story. Just awful.

[Kirstie Cooper]

Just what I needed - an easy to read book that required absolutely no thinking at all.
Was very easy to read, and was relateable in so many ways, and actually made me laugh out loud!
Great little book :)

[Hayley Marsland]

A fun short but sweet festive read, ideal if you've got a spare half hour, during your own Christmas chaos.

A list of do's and don'ts, a how not to survive Christmas if you like.

A fun read I will definitely be looking out for more by this author.

[W.A. Ashes]

Honestly, this book is more of a 3.5 for me. It’s a good story and relatable for me, but it’s very fast paced and has a fairly basic plot. It was a good quick read. The snippet at the end of the book has me thinking I might like the series.

[Sarah Baines]

Brilliant

A Beginner's Guide To Christmas is brilliant, fun and oh so relatable!! For anyone wanting to read this must-read series, this book comes BEFORE A Beginner's Guide To Salad.

[Jade Jones]

I so wish this was longer! Such a funny and relatable writing style :)

[Janis]

Maybe you had to be there. Didn’t do anything for me.

[Sarah Jacobs]

Really good

Was a lovely heartening read once I started it couldn't put it down definitely recommend to be uplifted xxx xxx

[Angela Newby]

Hilarious short story

[Kellie]

This one was great! I laughed out loud. Very quick, very entertaining, very relatable. Ruth needs to dump that boyfriend, though.