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268 pages, Paperback
First published July 31, 2014









No one can escape from the night forever.




"I always lose the things I don’t want to lose the most. That’s why I don’t feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it. That’s just how things are. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering" - Dazai
“I thought you were similar to Dazai at first, rushing into battle and wishing for death without even considering the value of your own life. But he’s different. He’s sharp-witted with a mind like a steel trap. And he’s just a child—a sobbing child abandoned in the darkness of a world far emptier than the one we’re seeing". He was too smart for his own good. That was why he was always alone. The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood. But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude - Oda
“You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live…”
--
“You won’t find it”
That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined—right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well.
For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom of his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:
“Odasaku… What should I do?”
“Be on the side that saves people,” Odasaku replied. “If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person."
"Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity."
[...] Dazai didn't realize until then that someone had known him so well.