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What Every Parent Needs to Know: The incredible effects of love, nurture and play on your child's development

4.33  ·  Rating details ·  241 ratings  ·  18 reviews
“Explains the science without losing sight of the realities of raising a child.” Mother and Baby

It’s time to re-write the rule book on raising a child. Based on over 700 scientific studies into children’s development, award-winning author and child psychotherapist Dr. Margot Sunderland explains how to develop your child’s potential to the full.

Find out the truth about popu
Paperback, 288 pages
Published June 7th 2007 by DK
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Annie Cole
Aug 02, 2018 rated it really liked it
Despite the off-putting title, this book’s subtitle more accurately sums up its essence: “The Incredible Effects of Love, Nurture and Play on your Child’s Development.” I read it cover-to-cover over the course of a year spanning pregnancy to motherhood, dipping in whenever I needed some inspiration.

It covers a wide range of parenting topics from a strong, opinionated and research-led perspective. The writing is congenial to a new parent’s mindset; informative with a tone of what you what you ne
Jan 09, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: children
A great book. It clearly and openly advocates a particular approach to parenting, but cooly backs its claims up with recent research in psychology, evolution and biology. Focusing mostly on newborns and toddlers, and grounding the referenced research in the day-to-day world of parenting, it is also crammed full of useful advice for parents of children of all ages. The only downside is that the book is laid out like some trashy women's weekly magazine, complete with excessive callouts and an over ...more
Feb 11, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
Really interesting, thought through, empathy driven book... And then we get to the chapter on discipline, which read like someone else had written it.
The chapter on discipline was cynical, manipulative, and encouraged love withdrawals as a way of managing disliked behaviour. No thanks.
In all other areas, it was on point.
Shahd Bensaoud
Feb 14, 2021 rated it really liked it
Review in Arabic at the bottom. التعليق باللغة العربية في الآخر

“What every parent needs to know” is such an amazing book I would say. It took me a while to finish as it is quite full of information that is pretty scientific; which I like due to my background in research and the fact that I like to track sources of information.
I would suggest to change the title! May be something like “Understanding your child brain”? Or “Parenting effects from a science point of you”.
To summarise, extremely in
Aug 07, 2018 rated it really liked it
If you had never read books about attachment parenting, or books such as "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" by John Gottman; "The Whole Brain Child" and "No Drama Discipline" by Daniel J. Siegel, and Tina Payne Bryson; "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" by Becky A Bailey; and Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon this is a good beginner's to the concept without particularly pushing an "agenda".

The author goes over the results of studies used in books mentioned above, and t
This book has helped me with my parenting. Whenever I try what it says, it works. I.e., if I work on being in a good mood and am playful, my son is a delight to be around. I'm going to get my own copy and occasionally flip through it in trying times. It's not 100% gentle discipline, but time-in sounds better than other options and I think it helps a parent feel secure in what they are doing. Although, obviously I disagree with the diet advice, I feel it's tone is informative and not too judgy an ...more
Oct 09, 2018 rated it liked it
I have read 'Why Love Matters' which covers the same ground as the earlier chapters in this book without the photos, diagrams etc. It was good to be able to see that oft-talked about scan of Romanian orphans brains. Of particular interest to me are the chapters more concerned with toddlers and older children: 'Behaving Badly', 'The Trying Times' and 'All About Discipline'. I hope to be able to put some of the guidance into practice soon. ...more
Sølvi Goard
Mar 09, 2020 rated it really liked it
Got a lot from this, including valuable reflection on my own childhood and internalised messages. Dated in some ways, outright wrong on autism (as a disorder to be cured!) and suggests that stress in pregnancy may make your child gay, but still very relevant and practical, and resonates a lot with the trauma science that Bessel Van de Koek writes about.
Aug 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
I found this book to be much more straight forward to read unlike other adoption books. It is laid out more like a school text book with additional case studies as well as brain scan pictures and diagrams. The sections are clearly displays to make it easier to keep track of where you are in the book. It also encouraged more talking points with my husband as we are going through the process.
Nov 24, 2020 rated it liked it
Begon erg goed, laatste paar hoofdstukken zijn echter minder. In de loop van het boek ligt de nadruk steeds meer op alles wat mis kan gaan - die negatieve inslag werd storend. De schrijfster leek er bijna vanuit te gaan dat iedereen therapie nodig heeft... mag wel wat positiever allemaal!
Ben Guest
Dec 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Essential reading for the prospective parent.
Jul 29, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: biblivilleqc, vf
La science au service des parents, c'est plutôt la science du gros bon sens: les enfants ont besoin d'amour, d'encadrement, de sécurité pour s'épanouir. L'aspect scientifique n'est pas celui auquel je m'attendais (honnêtement, savoir quelle partie du cerveau s'active à quel moment en fonction des émotions...) et les sujets abordés ne sont pas aussi variés que ce que j'aurais souhaité (je croyais qu'il y aurait un sujet par deux ou trois pages avec une étude spécifique pour chacun de ces sujet
Laurel Cook
May 30, 2010 rated it really liked it
This books provides the scientific answer for why allowing your baby to cry herself to sleep is unhealthy. When this technique has been suggested to me I've wanted to tell people it is simply inhumane. Now I've been provided with an educated and composed response.

As the book explored disciplining older children the author lost me as a fan by going after the 'sit in the naughty step and ponder your transgressions' school of thought. I was a child and I remember those moments in the corner and (s
Jan 12, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Recommend by our nhs pre natal class this is definitely highly recommended. Puts across a lot of straight forward science which in the most part can't be argued against and would benefit any babyhood, childhood (and even adulthood) yet still a lot of what was said is far from common knowledge.
Its a shame everyone who has a baby doesn't get told about this book after the 12 week scan. Its that good and would certainly give everyone the right start in life to help them deal with its many challeng
Jun 01, 2014 rated it liked it
I especially liked two chapters, "The chemistry of living life well" and "The chemistry of love". These chapters discuss interacting with your children through play and the importance of touch and demonstrating affection. They talk about the science behind it all with the hormones that are released during these interactions and the effects they have on the body/mind. Some of the information in this book, combined with things I've learned from the "Solihull Approach", has helped me to try to unde ...more
Allicia Coates
Jan 13, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book. I cannot stress enough how much this helped me to understand my toddler's mood swings, their causes and how to help her through them. Thoroughly enjoyed the "science" bits and it just seemed to be common sense to me. ...more
Camilla Nes
I read this for work related reasons. It was really interesting in a lot of unexpected ways.
Samir AAtalla
Aug 30, 2015 rated it really liked it
Great parental advice and tips.
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