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Love Is Not Constantly Wondering If You Are Making the Biggest Mistake of Your Life
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Love Is Not Constantly Wondering If You Are Making the Biggest Mistake of Your Life

3.88  ·  Rating details ·  389 ratings  ·  83 reviews
Published 2011 by Perfect Day Publishing
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Average rating 3.88  · 
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Jason Koivu
Thrills and chills! ZOOMIDDY ZOOOOM!!! Space chases! BLAMMO!!! Laser blasts! All this excitement and more is promised on the back of this book:

"You are an ace starfighter pilot in the Galactic Space Force. Shot down over a mysterious planet, you have been taken captive by a race of giant, super intelligent ants."

But soon enough you discover Love Is Not Constantly Wondering if You Are Making the Biggest Mistake of Your Life " actually about your relationship with a young woman named Anne, an
Sep 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own-hard-copy
An old boyfriend and I once spent the weekend in a town in the middle of nowhere for a friend's wedding. The reception had an open bar, and my boyfriend got very drunk. Afterward, we went back to the motel, where he drank all of the alcohol he'd brought with him on the trip. When it was all gone, he asked me to drive him to the liquor store to buy more. When I refused, he demanded that I give him the car keys so he could drive himself. I hid the car keys and spent the next few hours getting scre ...more
Feb 27, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2012, 2016
This was a really enjoyable fast read. Admittedly I did have anxiety dreams about my ex-boyfriend going on a six month heroin binge (which certainly never happened) after reading this late into the night-so I might suggest that for those who are emotionally susceptible save it for an afternoon's respite.

All that aside, I would recommend this little novella to anyone. It's the story of a young man's struggle in a relationship with an alcoholic, disguised as a choose your own adventure novel. An
Jul 02, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I don't remember how I heard about this book, and getting hold of a copy was tricky- I think it had a small run and is out of print- but it was worth it. It's not very long, but its brevity was just right for trying to get at the rock and hard place the story was about, without ever falling into melodrama. The gimmick, that it's a choose-your-own-adventure, is perfect for the story-- as it is not in fact a choose-your-own-adventure book; this is the first lie-- and it's a metaphor for the situat ...more
Aug 30, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: memoir
"You are an ace starfighter pilot in the Galactic Space Force. Shot down over a mysterious planet, you have been taken captive by a race of giant, superintelligent ants. However, the story is actually about your relationship with a young woman named Anne, and your struggles to cope with her alcoholism."

This tiny book is about the author's four year relationship with an alcoholic. It is structured as a Choose Your Own Adventure book, in short segments that often end by presenting the reader with
Jan 06, 2012 rated it liked it
The book is cleverly designed exactly the way a Choose Your Own Adventure would be, and attempts to use an Ant-Warrior Sci-Fi story as a metaphor for the destruction that codependence with an alcoholic creates. The story is short, enjoyable and fascinating if one chooses to follow the dates selected. It sends the reader back and forth on specific memories, building anxious tension about the ultimate end of the disastrous affair.

However, the book is terribly copy-edited, and several obvious gramm
Nov 14, 2018 added it
Shelves: fiction
"You are at the coffee shop with Anne. It is your first date. She orders a quadruple espresso poured into a cup half full with cold water. She drains it in one gulp. You are simultaneously disgusted and aroused...She is fascinating, not necessarily for her answers, but for how she talks. It is all riddle and allusion and metaphor. Listening to her is like trying to decipher an unholy amalgam of Tori Amos and Muhammad Ali. You like her. You're probably too different for this not to explode into a ...more
Katie Voss
Jan 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I was intrigued by the cover, of course. I cannot resist choose-your-own-adventure books... even though this isn't one. The cover was just the teaser, and the description got me hooked. Every part of this was heartbreaking and beautiful. A wonderfully broken look into the life of someone who loves an addict.
Amanda L
Anonymous is truly gifted.

Hilarious (if in title alone)! Apparently it's some weird flavor of 'choose your own adventure' though self-proclaims NOT A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE in the conclusion of the back-cover blurb. My now sister-in-law had the gumption to stuff this hodge podge of oddities into her HAPPY WEDDING CARD to us. Pure genius. It's nothing less than a masterpiece, and the gesture is up there with only the most memorable.

There's an unyielding impression throughout of a supposed sub
Ali Lafferty
Aug 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I found this in Powell's in Portland (fuckyeah independent/local/small press publishing) and it sounded cool, I liked the meshing of a romance plot with the whole sci-fi choose-your-own-adventure trope. Little did I know the sci-fi part only enhances the romance plot and the romance is not a romance at all but the story of one man rapidly destroying the manic-pixie-dream-girl myth when he dates a quirky stripper who hides severe alcoholism. Fittingly, they move to Portland. If you ever want a sh ...more
Nathan Carson
Sep 22, 2017 rated it liked it
This book is packaged like a CYOA but doesn't really operate like one. Nonetheless, it's well-written, legitimately humorous, and filled with northwestern dread.
May 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
At times heartbreaking, but consistently genuine and gimmicky. All around pluses for me.
May 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: underrated
What an unexpected gem of a book. Seriously. I found this at my work on display with the other books we market as “weird” on display, but I was pleasantly surprised. Hard to describe this book other than saying it’s hilarious and devastating at the same time.
Jessica Oswald
Dec 16, 2012 rated it really liked it
It was a lightning-quick read, having few details about anything. We get through this whole book without knowing what either of the characters look like or any meaningful detail about the setting. The most described setting for any part of the book was a car. What it is is a running list of dates and drunkenness interspersed with brief moments of sobriety. I'm not sure that the book loses anything by being so light on descriptions of the people or places. It seems something would have to go in o ...more
Ilana Jaffe-Lewis
Aug 15, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book hugs you and says, "I know". Well written, creatively presented. And a Quick read, too.
Dec 17, 2016 rated it really liked it
A fun, easy read. The author/protagonist is a little pompous and cold and self-involved, but tolerable. On his girlfriend: we all know people like Anne. They're our friends (because they are exciting friends!), our family, but they really shouldn't be our lovers -- too painful. This guy seemed to miss the warning signs early and often. Some people are afraid of being alone and will stay in obviously mismatched relationships. I went through that stage late in life, late 20's and early 30's. The a ...more
Jonathan Byrd
Mar 13, 2013 rated it really liked it
This book is an intriguing and informative look into the world of alcoholism in the world of the late 2000's. While the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' aspect of the story is extremely small and not nearly as important to the plot as I would have imagined, I still enjoyed this book very much. I would recommend this to people in their 20's, or early 30's, or anyone who has experienced pain from someone they loved who was/is an alcoholic.
Feb 01, 2012 rated it really liked it
I took the author's advice in the intro and (mostly) just read it from beginning to end. An intimate look at a disastrous relationship with an alcoholic. At a reading he gave, the author recommended you write about the most horrible experience of your life and make it funny and inappropriate--that's basically what he's accomplished.
Hein Matthew Hattie
"You are very cold, and this feels like an adventure."
Mar 14, 2018 rated it really liked it
Calling this a "fun read" wouldn't necessarily be fair, as it wrestles with some pretty difficult issues (primarily alcoholism).

So of course the first thing you'll see regarding this book is the cover art and...what does it look like? A Choose Your Own Adventure book from your youth! However the author (who we don't know) actually refers to it as a "NOT A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE" on the back of the book due to the fact that the story very much ends at a specific end point regardless of the dec
Jan 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: science-fiction
This was . . . surprisingly good. I bought it as an ironic nostalgia item - I loved the Choose Your Own Adventure books as a kid, and it was fun seeing an adult rip-off so blatant that only the artist can safely take credit.

When I read it over the last few days, though, I found a surprisingly nuanced story of what it's like to live with an alcoholic. It feels closely based on real experience, which could be another reason the writer doesn't want to take credit. It's a brilliant concept for a boo
Taylor Krabiel
Mar 03, 2018 rated it really liked it
I picked this book up at a comic book store because I was in an old fashion space adventure shoot them up mood. I am no longer in that mood. Is that good? Yes, but no my mood is not good. It is somber.
I love the band The Mountain Goats. Their songs are catchy but when you get down to what they are really about every song leaves you somber and wanting to hug the closest loved one to you. This book is a Mountain Goat song personified in literary form.

I came on her to try and figure out if there
Lillian Grace
Aug 19, 2019 rated it really liked it
The cover and summary of this book can be deceiving. It is presented as a Choose Your Own Adventure, and thus, my initial perceptions assumed it would have that general vibe. I was very incorrect in that regard.

This book sent chills up and down my spine. Had me rereading sections and taking pictures of pages for later. Left me needing someone to hold my hand and double checking the time to see how soon I would see my s/o again. It is painful. And it is truthful. I didn’t think it would be. In i
Erick Romero
Jan 15, 2018 rated it did not like it
A piece of crap book. It has one gimmick it repeats through 98% of it, a little entertaining for the first 20 pages or so but then gets boring really quick. Then it ends with three more gimmicks in a row, none of them satisfying in the least, with one of them intentionally made not to make any sense, leaving the reader with a sense that they've been punked.

I read this book at the recommendation of someone who not only enjoyed it but felt he could relate because of the relationship dynamics of t
Sep 25, 2017 rated it really liked it
I've wanted to read this book ever since I read this review in Slate:

I was stymied by the fact that it wasn't available for several years until I finally came across a used copy online.

The review in Slate does a good job of describing the story. But it's a great fun, very quick read (couple of hours). The Choose Your Own Adventure (not really) format is perfect for the story and really quite creative. Definitely a good way to spend a few quiet hours.
James Wallis
Jul 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A clever, dark, funny crossover between the solo-gamebook format and a novella about trying to love and live with an alcoholic, and also fighting alien ants. If you have any interest in interactive narratives and how to combine them with serious storytelling so that the two work hand in hand, this is one of the best meldings of the two forms I've read. And I've read a lot of gamebooks.

If you're 'anonymous', please drop me a line. I'd really like to talk.
Abigail Creech
Aug 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book is not at all what it seems to be at face value. Packaged as a fun choose your own adventure story, the book instead delves into the relationship between the narrator and his alcoholic girlfriend Anne. This short and unexpected book made me laugh, cry, and confront uncomfortable truths about the nature of some of my own relationships. If you like a book that is a bit of a riddle, this is for you.
Nov 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
i’ve never really read anything like this, and i want to read more! i’m from portland and i found it in the local section of the bookstore and i of course was really into the cover and the title and i ended up buying it, and when i got home, i sat down and read it cover to cover. i’m a really big fan of books written in journals and letters and other alternative formats, and this book really did that for me.
Nov 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: zines
I liked this so much! It's frustrating and depressing, since it's about being in a relationship with an alcoholic, but it was well written and personal. It's styled as a "choose your own adventure" book, but as the author says at the beginning, "Your choice will have no meaningful impact on anything that happens." So good.
Apr 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
August 2, 2004

Anne's apartment is kind of messy, and there is rarely food there, and nothing in the way of TV or video games or things like that. But that's not the reason you don't like to spend the night there. The reason you don't want to spend the night there is stuff like this:

"Hey, wake up!"

"Mmph... wha... ?"

And that was the moment Anne dropped the snake on your face.
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Books can be attributed to "Anonymous" for several reasons:

* They are officially published under that name
* They are traditional stories not attributed to a specific author
* They are religious texts not generally attributed to a specific author

Books whose authorship is merely uncertain should be attributed to Unknown.

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