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Awkward Moments Children's Bible, Vol. 1

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4.39  ·  Rating details ·  555 ratings  ·  48 reviews
#1 Amazon Bestseller - First Day Online!
What began as a private online joke among interfaith friends quickly skyrocketed to meet the demands of the thousands of fans and critics of the controversial work. Within hours, the book became the #1 Bestseller in Amazon.com's Humor & Religion category! Combining actual Bible verses with more than 30 whimsical original illustratio
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Paperback, 80 pages
Published October 10th 2013 by Awkward Moments
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Average rating 4.39  · 
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Scott Sheperdson
Brilliant! I can't say enough good things about this book. From the truly amazing artwork to the very accessible commentaries, I can't think of another project that will challenge readers to think critically about their thoughts on the Bible.

I have seen some pretty angry reviews over on Amazon from people who haven't actually seen the book (just the illustrations), so I think it is important to point out that while the illustrations lend to the "charm" of this book, almost all of them are clear
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Denise
Hilariously awkward bible moments and nicely done artwork. Those easily offended pluck out your eyes, or don't read the book. Not for children. ...more
Dave Shepherd
Dec 05, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: bible, christianity
As a Christian, I was pretty skeptical at first, thinking this was just going to be another angry atheist expose of some sort. I was ready for a fight. In reality, it is a pretty challenging read. Not in its use of big words, but in its ability to challenge the status quo of Biblical illiteracy. At first, I was pretty annoyed with one particular illustration. In reality, it is now my favorite as it helped me realize I was being pretty myopic about who Jesus was. The only thing I hate about this ...more
Tiffany
Alright, first some good things: I loved the illustrations. They're hilarious. At first they appear to be just the normal, brightly colored pictures you'd find in any children's book... and then you realize you're looking at Adam sprawled out in a bathtub on a bed of ice, surrounded by bloody towels. That Moses is standing on the Ark with a martini. That there's a demon-pig falling off a cliff with smoke streaming from its nostrils.

I learned some things, too. I was already familiar with the horr
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Pat Wilson
Dec 05, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Unique, engaging, challenging, and smart! The first one of these I saw was the "poke" at creationists with the livestock mating in front of striped trees (to get striped offspring). I couldn't stop laughing! The second one I saw online was the modern-day retelling of a young virgin, raped and forced to marry her attacker.

This book might seem silly, but it is profoundly powerful - especially if you take the time to read the commentaries and understand the importance in modern culture. This is NO
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John Michael Strubhart
A Thoughtful Expose Of An Atrocious Book

It's good to examine the justifications for any belief that you have. If The Holy Bible is your justification for your religious beliefs, try actually reading it critically from an outsider's point of view. If you're a reasonable person, you will - at the very least - be quite troubled at what it says. Don't give me the song and dance about having to study it under "proper supervision" either. You have a brain. Use it.
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Dave Sippel
Aug 02, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Twisted and offensive or twisted and hilarious? Depends on who you ask. We are all familiar with the commonly known Biblical stories and quotes, but there is plenty in the Good Book that is less often talked about.

1. Forty two young boys torn apart by bears after they insult a prophet by calling him "baldy." Check.
2. God tried to kill Moses but changed his mind after Zipporah rubbed their son's bloody foreskin on her husband's feet. Check.
3. It is "disgraceful" for a woman to speak while in chu
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Thor Stambaugh
Jan 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Finally

The hardest thing to discuss with Christians is their own ignorance of the bible. Here we have a wonderful series of biblical quotes and stories that speak powerfully as to contradictions.foolishness.and downright idiocy. The apologists cannot stretch or twist the meaning and must simply ignore it or lie about it. Simply written and illustrated even a child or a mentally deficient person can understand the points.
Sara
Nov 19, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Can't wait for volume 2! ...more
Carl Fischer
Jul 21, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I like satire -- especially when it makes people uncomfortable by challenging long or deeply held beliefs. This book is dry and biting satire about biblical stories many of us learned as children, captured in the format of a "Children's Bible." Note the title includes the language Not Found in Your Average. It's not appropriate for young kids -- but then again, neither is the original. The illustrations are cute but violent and graphic. The content focuses on all the atrocities my church glossed ...more
Dang
Nov 25, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The artwork is wonderfully reminiscent of religious works I saw as a child. The beauty of the book is that it shows parts of The Bible that many adults never get around to reading. I wouldn't be surprised if many would deny they are even in The Bible, which just goes to show that there are many believers who haven't read, or absorbed, the book in its entirety. However, this book isn't about cherry picking. The verses are consistent with, and highlight, the entire chapter from which they are take ...more
Shelli Black Rose
Jan 02, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: atheists, christians
I got this book when the Kindle version was offered for free. It's not such an easy read on the Kindle; there's an awful lot of bouncing back and forth between the "front" and "back" of the book. Took a while to get the hang of it. It's worth it to browse through the entire book once, before trying to read it as it's meant to be read in the paper version.

Aside from the Kindle problem, this is actually a very good book. Very informative with excellent sources. The drawings were both funny and poi
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Dustin
Jul 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Utterly brilliant!

It's as though Gilgamesh & Tickheathen were reading my mind as I read through the Bible. So many WTF moments that have been passed down and translated and re-translated were presented perfectly here with the new modern translation by Gilgamesh and incredible illustrations by Tickheathen.

I will keep this out on my coffee table for everyone to enjoy, and I look forward to volume 2.
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Nicole
Jun 07, 2016 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'm so conflicted on this billion

Irreverent. Funny. Heretical. Thought provoking. Terrifying. Illustrated. Bloody. Minimizing. Clever. Valid. Interesting. Tricky.
I'm still not sure. But I will be going to my Bible and doing some research
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Greg
Jan 09, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
WOW, what a book!!! A quick, fun and colourful way to learn more about the bible, the Abrahamic god and Jesus than you would from decades of going to church. I look forward to volume 2.
Spencer
Dec 16, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A very funny and entertaining look at the more awkward moments in the bible with some brilliant illustrations, some of which I will now look to see if I can get them as prints!
Fox Bragg
Mar 21, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
why am i an atheist, this book can give some insight
Jason
Nov 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Puts many thing from the Bible that people like to ignore into public view. In depth analysis in the back too!
Brachiosaurus
My son (8) came back from school one day and had learnt about Noah's Ark. I asked him if it was OK with all the drowned people. "Yes, because they were all bad people"

He doesn't believe in God but I realized that even in 2021 they are still teaching these biblical stories as if they are all morally good.

So I found this book that I bought before he was born, and after some thinking I decided to read it for him.

The strength is that we get stories from both OT and NT. I am quite familiar with the b
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Tom French
May 04, 2022 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I followed Horus WAY back in the days when we'd have discussions on the internet -- remember that? Oh, how I loved his humorous take on the Bible and Christianity!

This book is a gem! It takes the most ghastly, horrible stories in the Bible and illustrates them like a children's book! It's dark and funny and wonderful -- it's also thought-provoking, interesting, and intelligent. It's one thing to mock something and laugh -- it's quite another to poke fun at something and then connect that to a la
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Shecola
Aug 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Awesome!

I loved everything about this book..... A great book about bible facts. I enjoyed all the jokes and illustrations. Nicely done
Rachel
Oct 06, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
More!

I would have given it five stars but I wanted more! I will now go read the second book and hope for a full series.
Misstress of the Bleeding Sorrow
The illustrations are hilarious. Loved it!!!
Iveta
Apr 23, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The best Confirmation gift!
Lynn
Dec 07, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Irreverent look at the Old Testament. Love it!
pallav mishra
Dec 28, 2021 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Insightful…esp for someone who had read redacted/reworded verses from the Bible..quite witty, irreverent, shocking, and yet faithful to the Holy Book..
Bjoern
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
VBergen
Jul 11, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: funny
The book is a collection of Bible verses (paragraphed), illustrated, and with some comments. The drawings are a little gory but beautiful with brilliant colors. I found in this book what I was looking for after listening how my girl was told the Noah's ark story depicted with a nice rainbow and smiling animals at the end of the story.

As the author says at the end:
"What really bothers us is when authors and publishers completely rewrite scripture for children's Bibles. In doing so, they often alt
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Andrew
Some funny ones to be sure, and here is the simple forewarning: this book, if you're going to use it in an argumentative way, is only relevant when dealing with biblical literalists. Those who are interpretive, who don't make the Bible the sole source of their Christian spirituality, and most Jews would look at this and say yeah, but you're not really getting it, are you? But if you can let go of that, and not worry about atheism vs. belief, blah blah blah, it's a funny book. ...more
David
Since the mid 1960s, millions of "Arch" books (cartoon illustrated children's bible stories) have been sold (Concordia Publishing of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod). This was my primary way of learning Bible stories when I was young. Horus Gilgamesh has written a similarly-styled cartoon book of Bible passages, but featuring passages that are specifically not children friendly. I like volume 2 a bit better than this first volume. ...more
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HORUS GILGAMESH was raised Catholic before being “born again” in college when he began following a calling toward full-time ministry. Early on, his efforts were focused on youth evangelism and Biblical literacy around the world. When he was on a missions trip to Africa, a fearless young boy approached, pleading, “Chakula? Maji?“- the Swahili words for “food” and “water.” Unfortunately, Horus had n ...more

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