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Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me

3.36  ·  Rating details ·  2,680 ratings  ·  387 reviews
Relationships end and even the most callow among us take something away. That's what this books is about - whether it be major life lessons, like 'If you lie, you will get caught', simple truths like, 'Flowers work', or something wholly unique like, 'Watch out for the high strung brother in the military'.
Hardcover, 223 pages
Published February 4th 2008 by Grand Central Publishing (first published February 1st 2008)
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3.36  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,680 ratings  ·  387 reviews

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Jan 19, 2008 rated it it was ok
Anthologies can be kind of repetitive, with entry after entry harping on the same tired theme. The theme for Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me feels particularly uninspired, as the topic of men bitching about women is arguably the most prominent in the history of literature. But the credentials of editor Ben Karlin (co-editor of America: The Book) combined with the book’s impressive list of contributors (Andy Richter, Stephen Colbert, Neal Pollack, more) piqued my interest all the ...more
Apr 08, 2009 rated it really liked it
I heard this in its Audiobook format, which probably led me to appreciate it more than I otherwise would have. Having each author read their short essay was perfect, especially with such instantly recognizable voices as Patton Oswalt, John Oliver and Will Forte. It's a very short read, even the audiobook was barely over three hours long, but one that will have you chuckling all the way. I particularly liked Dan Savage's ode to the vagina that scared him out of the closet and Larry Wilmore's "my ...more
Feb 07, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: greatreads
I know what you're thinking and no I am not and was not a lesbian, not that there is anything at all wrong with that. I picked up this book at ye old Costco, simply because of some of the writers names on the cover: Nick Hornby, Stephen Colbert, Bob Odenkirk, Andy Richter, and Dan Savage, to name a few. Also, I secretly wanted to know what relationships were like for men. As a straight woman, you never can tell. Men are simple in their thoughts and emotions - NOT SIMPLETONS - just not as complex ...more
Dec 10, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: toppler, 3-stars, 2017, humor
As any other anthology some contributions are funnier than others. I was in need of a quick, humorous book for a 24 hour toppler (readathon) and it did the trick.
Hannah Garden
Dec 16, 2008 rated it it was ok
Eh. I'd hoped this was going to be hilarious and insightful, but all the humor was pretty much the same thing all the way through--low-grade irony and drab self-flagellation. Buncha weinerdogs.
Feb 08, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: single guy friends, or any guy friends in general
Shelves: memoir, collections
This is a great read. The writing from most of the contributors is funny, interesting and enjoyable; I think there was only maybe one or two works that were sort of "meh" for me. On the whole, I found myself very engaged in the writing, having finished this book in two days (I took a break to watch the first disc of Pee-Wee's Playhouse).

The formatting of each essay/anecdote differs, including comic-strip contributions and and illustration (Marcel Dzama!). My favourite entries include "Lesson #9:
Feb 10, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: short-stories
I was expecting much more from this book. Edited by Ben Karlin - former editor of The Onion, former executive producer of The Daily Show and co-creator of The Colbert Report - this book should have been a rip-roarin'-romp through male inadequacy and insecurity. It started out strong, but somewhere along the line it became the male version of chick lit: dick lit. And boring to boot.

At first, it was good for a few laughs. But then I laughed less. And got bored. And maybe started to skim a bit. And
Dec 31, 2008 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Those who enjoy short stories, essays, humor.
Shelves: humor
This was one of the funniest books I have ever read, and it's one I will reach for many times to read again. A collection of humorous short stories by some of the funniest, wittiest men of our time, this is a book that never fails to cause me to laugh out loud until the end.

The book is a collection of essays written by hilarious men such as Nick Hornby, Stephen Colbert, Bob Odenkirk (who discusses why nine years is the perfect amount of time to be in a bad relationship ("by year nine you try eve
Jamie Collins
Mar 01, 2009 rated it it was ok
Shelves: humor
This is a pretty weak collection. I ended up skimming over several of these essays.

I expected better from Dan Savage (his books about his family are very good). David Wain's entry composed entirely of cellphone conversations was good. I also liked Patton Oswalt's essay where he explains how a past relationship with a crazy stripper puts his minor quibbles with his wife into perspective. And Ben Karlin's mom's forward was better than Karlin's essay.
Books Ring Mah Bell
done. chucklelicious. I was not sure who half these people were, very funny men. easy and quick. just like your mom.
Apr 14, 2010 rated it it was amazing
This book reminds all the ladies that not all men are insensitive cheating bastards.
Elevate Difference
Apr 18, 2009 rated it liked it
I have a love/hate relationship with liberal publications, like the New York Times, that discuss progressive issues and at the same time print articles that seem to use stone age mentality to “prove” the differences between women and men. I am forever intrigued by science’s never-ending love affair with sexual dimorphism, and articles with the headlines “What Do Women Want?” and “Varying Sweat Scents Noted By Women” seem to fill the pages of publications every day.

I have a similar love/hate rel
I threw on the audiobook to kill a slow day at work. All the writers read their own pieces, which, if for nothing other than hearing John Oliver slag Nick Hornby, is worth it. The best pieces come from where you'd expect - David Wain dealing with a perpetual stander upper; Bob Odenkirk detailing his Nine-year Bad Relationship Plan; Dan Savage coming to terms with his sexuality; Stephen Colbert's heavily redacted (by his wife) reminiscence of a fellow waitress; and the mighty Patton Oswalt's supr ...more
Mar 03, 2009 rated it did not like it
Bad. Disappointing. And further evidence that Stephen Colbert is not funny in print. A piece by Patton Oswalt was quite amusing, in which he realizes how awesome his wife is particularly in comparing her to his ex-girlfriend (a terrible, violent, uneducated stripper.) Actually, now that I think about it, Damian of Kulash, Jr. (of OKGO) had a pretty sweet (as in aww) piece, and Adam Schlesinger (of Fountains of Wayne. I know.) did an interesting and humorous breakdown of a cheesy love song. Oh, a ...more
Kimberly Ann
Jan 25, 2016 rated it did not like it
Oy ve! Where did they get this many whack-jobs?

So, I want to tell you, these are Not the type of men I'd be with! They are in no way, shape or form even qualified as mensch. More like, schlemiel...clueless.

What's more is all of these guys are now the pride & joy of their mammalas! All are now very successful comedians! But did I find them funny, well not at all...... I'm thinking, that this book written by men is for men...because I honestly didn't get what they were talking about.....

Do I b
May 24, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: read-2010
Meh and meh and meh. This is pretty much what you'd expect -- a bunch of moderately clever dudes being self-deprecatingly funny -- except less funny than you'd hope. Despite a whole lot of filler, there are some some great moments, like when Andy Richter calls the people who run television networks a bunch of "gutless cunts" or when Dan Savage describes his first time putting his finger in a vagina as it feeling like "a large, lukewarm piece of lasagna with hair". David Rees is funny. Will Forte ...more
Feb 08, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2008
Really funny collection of essays, including, but not limited to: Bob Odenkirk's transcription of part of his seminar: "9 Years is Exactly the Right Amount of Time to be in a Bad Relationship," Stephen Colbert's would-be heart-warming story that is all but completely blacked out by his wife's marker to keep things private, Will Forte's reminiscence of a girlfriend who kept riding off on another guy's motorcycle but kept insisting they were "just friends," Patton Oswalt comparing his wife at her ...more
Mar 24, 2008 rated it did not like it
Recommended to Kim by: found it on my own
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Marissa Morrison
Feb 17, 2008 rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Feb 05, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonphixion
I was hoping for more laugh-out-loud stories, and while there were many smiles, I ended up feeling a little down -- these are stories wrought with insecurities, damages, and regrets written within plenty of self-deprecation -- It had me, and will have others (guys and girls), reflecting on past romances that left their psychological welts and fond memories behind.
Jan 31, 2015 rated it liked it

luv it


It's something for us, girls, to read.
Apr 24, 2015 rated it did not like it
My husband I listened to this on a car ride. We expected it to be a comedy, and while some of the short stories were humorous, overall, it was very disappointing. We didn't laugh, and we found ourselves skipping over most of the "chapters" because they were just crude and not funny. Very disappointed especially with all of the contributors.
Feb 20, 2008 rated it liked it
A collection of essays from male comedians and writers about dating, relationships and their issues with women. Some of the contributions were entertaining and others not so much. I laughed out loud a couple times, but not quite as often as I hoped. Overall a quick, light read with a little something fun for anyone who has ever dated anyone, ever.
Jan 25, 2008 rated it did not like it
I thought there was going to be something interesting or at least funny in this book. I really found neither.
Jun 10, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great audio book, with essays read by the authors (very funny men, with some witty observations on dating -- usually unsuccessfully).
Mar 03, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2008
Highly recommend Paul Simms' "I'm Easy" which can be read at The New Yorker under the title "Four Short Crushes":

Apr 30, 2009 rated it liked it
At first I was like, "oh, how cute. Men are sensitive and insecure etc." Eventually I found myself thinking, "Where are your huevos?"
May 10, 2019 rated it it was ok
Listened to this as an audiobook, which made the good stories better and the worse stories much worse. Tired tropes about women and bitter garbage storytellers. Since I, for mystery reasons, listened to this three hour audiobook, I'll break down every one of these stories.
(view spoiler)
Feb 04, 2019 rated it it was ok
This one landed with a big wet "meh."

I saw the list of contributors and expected a humorous, wry deep dive into relationships.

What I found was primarily shallow attempts. Very few of these tales ended up actually being funny (despite having some genuinely funny writers represented so I have no idea what happened) and most of them leave you just feeling like these guys are willfully ignorant about women - despite the title, many essays made it sound like the authors hadn't learned anything at all
I must have bought this as preemptive consolation for future breakups, thinking that the words of famous people telling me how they got through their heartbreaks would help me with mine.

I guess what I really should have realized was that it was the words of famous men, and even worse, comedians. Comedians who live and profit under the Women are from Venus mantra and tell stories about getting women drunk and learning from their mistakes. It's a man's man book, though it doesn't have to be. Imagi
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