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Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, Revised Second Edition: For Their Early Years - Raising Children Who Are Responsible, Respectful, and Resourceful
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Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, Revised Second Edition: For Their Early Years - Raising Children Who Are Responsible, Respectful, and Resourceful

3.98  ·  Rating details ·  1,002 ratings  ·  139 reviews
Positive Discipline for Positive Results!
Caring for young children is one of the most challenging tasks an adult will ever face. No matter how much you love the child, there will be moments filled with anger, frustration, and even desperation. There will also be questions: Why does my child deliberately lie to me? Why won't she listen to me? Should I ever spank her when sh
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Paperback, 368 pages
Published September 30th 1998 by Three Rivers Press (first published 1994)
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Average rating 3.98  · 
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 ·  1,002 ratings  ·  139 reviews


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Susanne
Feb 18, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Because you can’t highlight in a library book:
- Children have four basic needs: 1) a sense of belonging and significance, 2) perceptions of capability, 3) personal power and autonomy, 4) social and life skills. pg. 9
- Let children calm down and catch their breath before trying to solve a problem. "Children do better when they feel better." pg. 21
- "Mistakes are opportunities to learn" for both children and adults. pg. 36
- "If you want your child to be truthful, you must be willing to listen, to
...more
Rachel
Sep 07, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: mommy-baby-books
A great book, but a little too redundant. Could have been much shorter, especially since its written for parents of preschool children who generally don't have a lot of time. The general idea and theory in the book is very positive and focused on loving your child and seeing through their mind. The reading is a little too light at times. I would have liked more scientific reasoning behind why children do what they do and think how they think. I think this book is a very good addition to Dr. Sear ...more
Jessie
Jul 25, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting-books
I like the concept that one of the biggest things you can do for your child to help discipline them and help give them self-confidence and independence is to teach them skills. The more your child is able to do without your help, the happier they are because they feel more autonomous and less reliant on others. I've absolutely seen this with with my son - this is a huge reason why parenting him has become easier the older he's gotten (he was 2.5 years when I read this book). Him being verbal and ...more
Baley Whary
The idea of positive discipline sounds great. Unfortunately I didn't feel like the book was talking to "real" parents of "real" children. Some of the ideas were useful (learning how to avoid power struggles is a real life-saver), but I don't understand still what to do when my child just refuses to obey me, no matter how many choices I give her. Sometimes she's just going to disobey, and this book would have me basically ignore this bad behavior. I gave it 4 stars because it did give me a differ ...more
Phillip Bost
Nov 07, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: New parents
Shelves: non-fiction
This book contains a few actionable ideas to help parents guide their toddler(s) / pre-schoolers towards (eventual) responsible independence.
I appreciated the numerous scenarios provided--realistically frustrating situations are a good way to demonstrate how to employ the various concepts after they are introduced.
I also liked that there was time dedicated to single parents, kids with special needs, groups of children, and other often-overlooked scenarios. The author seemed to greatly respect th
...more
Marci Antoniuk
Dec 03, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book had a lot of helpful ideas. I appreciated learning what I can reasonably expect from my two year old and what will take more time to develop. I also liked the philosophy of looking at the end game, how my goal isn't to have a child who (grudgingly)follows rules to escape punishment, but to look at what traits I want my son to have as an adult, and work toward that end. Because of this idea I've stopped using time outs, and instead we have a sheet of cool down ideas on the fridge to hel ...more
Cool_Moms_Read
Feb 02, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As a parent, I often find myself in the stressful situation of trying to figure out how to do this thing called...raising a child. Not only how to raise a chid but how to do it so your child is a decent human being and functioning member of society. The preschool years and early development are emphasized as crucial, to basically the rest of their life. That my friends, is why I gravitated towards this book. Every parent essentially chooses what is right for their family and a parenting style th ...more
Jennifer
Jun 15, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I take all parenting books with a grain of salt, but this one caused me to take pause and reconsider some of the things that I'm currently doing. Not saying that I'm doing a complete overhaul on my approach to civilize my children, but this book makes some great points that I agree with...I had a few light bulb moments! While I would recommend reading the whole book, at a minimum read Chapters 11-15 which focuses on the differences between punishment and discipline...most of us use the two words ...more
Rebecca
I waffle between a 3 and 4 on this one. I found the perspective aligned with my ideals (not that I am always great about doing what I think I should!): children can learn to respect while being treated with respect themselves; children behave better when they feel better; children are misguided, not misbehaving. Sometimes I am the one that needs to go to timeout, and not the kids.

What I still find myself wondering about at the end is how to encourage a 3-year old to "solve her own problems with
...more
Carrie
May 27, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
I love all the positive discipline books, but this one is particularly special because it helps parents understand the stage of life preschoolers are in and how to relate to them. They are not mini-adults. They think totally differently, and I think the author does a good job of helping parents get in their kid's head. Also, I love the positive approach to trying to understand why a child is acting out instead of just using power to control the situation.
Anna
Aug 16, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I will definitely be incorporating some of these practices into my preschool program and the way I deal with my school aged kiddos. Sometimes we expect so much from these little ones forgetting that they are new to this world and aren't armed with all of the tools needed to deal with these new experiences. Our job is to give them these tools and watch them use them.
Laura
Jul 08, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I think this book provides a lot of worthwhile strategies that I try to employ. My only critique is that some of the strategies aren't practical for a family with multiple kids or busy lives. Having a newborn and a preschooler doesn't always allow for the level of time and flexibility required to employ some of the strategies the authors outline.
Sierra
Not to try to get into a power struggle with a two year old.
Wilmington
Nov 02, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
A friend recommended this book to me, or at least the 'Positive Discipline' series. On the plus side, the book is very easy to read and the aim of the book is exactly was I was looking for. The early chapters deal with development and personality traits of preschoolers, including the differences of attitudes based on birth order. So far so good. The first weakness of the book comes with the behavioural problems. I have experienced some of them with my boys, but the solutions suggested are much t ...more
Amanda
Jul 02, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Lots of good info on reasons for particular behaviors and positive ways to react to it, specifically for preschool age children. Helpful charts, and each chapter ends with "Questions to Ponder" related to the topic just covered. There was an entire chapter and portions in other places geared towards teachers and childcare professionals on issues that come up in those situations (how kids act around other kids and for a non-parent adult). The book also included chapters focused on sleep, food, po ...more
Finding My Star
Jun 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The Positive Disciple books came highly recommended to me but I never got around to reading any. I was very excited to have the opportunity to read this one. I love that is book isn't about punishment, instead it looks into the child's development and provides techniques that help continue having a strong bond with your child. I also like how it has a section on parenting children with special needs. So many books provide techniques for children that are typically developing but nothing for thos ...more
Anuradha Baliga
May 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A wonderful book on how to respectfully parent and ways to discipline kids . Jane Nelsen also goes into detail about why kids behave certain way and how we can provide appropriate response under these situations. The approach and techniques struck the right notes and seemed practical to me . This is a book I will be going back to again and again as just one read is not enough to understand the nuances . Must read parenting book if you want to follow respectful parenting
Tin
Jan 29, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
I actually skipped a lot of parts in this book. It is very comprehensive and has detailed sections on common concerns when it comes to caring for a preschooler, like choosing a good daycare, potty training, use of technology, etc. The sections that were related to our situation, particularly the first half of the book about positive discipline were very insightful. A really good book for parents with kids aged 6 and below.
Kasey
Jan 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is absolutely invaluable for parents. Like with most parenting books, it seems common sense to do these things, but they can be so hard in practice. This book helps by providing constructive actions to take and example scenarios. I'll definitely be booking up the others as my daughter gets older.
Katie Proctor
Feb 01, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
I enjoyed this book- it was easy to read and full of good strategies and parenting philosophy. I like that they discussed showing children respect as a way of modeling the respect they should give others and the way they include even young children in making decisions for the family and themselves.
Danielle
Nov 19, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I think this is a great intro to positive discipline, but if you've read any other parenting book on this method before, this won't give you anything new. So, not especially helpful for me, but I'm glad it exists in the world.
J.D. DeHart
Jun 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A fascinating look at the notion of positive discipline with young children. I would recommend this book as an early grades methods book and would be interested to compare it to discipline ideas for older children.
Ginger
Sep 16, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Common sense approach.
Pam
Nov 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Very informative. I recommend it often.
Kassy
Jul 30, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
While I don’t agree with everything in this book, there were lots of good tips that I’ll use as a preschool teacher and I’m sure the same tips will be very helpful as a parent.
Ching Li Shan
suitable for parent

this books provides children needs from many aspects. good knowledge. But as a preschool educator, it is only partly useful.
Angela Howe-stemrich
Good basic information for interacting with preschoolers; overall pretty basic though and seemed to be written at a third grade level. Nonetheless, it is a worthwhile quick read.
Katieknous
Feb 15, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
Some really good tips - but nothing life changing. There are still some issues that I felt the book did not address.
Brooke Riley
Aug 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2019
I love it when I find a parenting book that aligns with our family values. So many great suggestions for raising respectful and responsible kids without punishing them.
Ileana
Sep 29, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Didn't take away as much as I hope from this book. Didn't find it to be applicable in real life unfortunately.
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Dr. Jane Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in South Jordan, UT and Carlsbad, CA.

She is the author and/or coauthor of the Positive Discipline Series.

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