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Listening When Parts Speak: A Practical Guide to Healing with Internal Family Systems Therapy and Ancestor Wisdom
An expert therapist and teacher leads you on a transformative journey of self-discovery and healing from collective and intergenerational trauma, based in the powerful practice of Internal Family Systems therapy.
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychotherapy is acclaimed for its power to help us recognize and integrate disparate parts of ourselves—a revolutionary course of treatment that can yield extraordinary results. But not all the work of IFS takes place in the confines of traditional therapy sessions. In this thoughtful and compassionate guide, Tamala Floyd, LCSW, gives readers the resources to expand their "parts work" beyond the therapist's office and into daily life—where the real healing happens.
To write Listening When Parts Speak, Floyd draws on 20-plus years of experience as a psychotherapist, teacher, consultant, and coach specializing in healing trauma, and in particular, intergenerational trauma. Each chapter offers lucid explanations of key concepts, illustrative stories from patients (as well as Floyd's own experience), and a guided meditation that can be used either in between therapy appointments to support and reinforce the work or as a way to begin an IFS therapy journey.
In these pages, readers
Explore the healing principles of IFS therapy Get to know their own parts—including wounded "exiles" and dedicated "protectors"Foster a trusting connection between the parts and the secure Self that connects them allStart to free themselves from beliefs that no longer serve themConnect with the wisdom and guidance of ancestors for deeper understanding and healing
Practitioners, too, will find Listening When Parts Speak an invaluable resource for supporting their patients and enhancing their own practice.
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychotherapy is acclaimed for its power to help us recognize and integrate disparate parts of ourselves—a revolutionary course of treatment that can yield extraordinary results. But not all the work of IFS takes place in the confines of traditional therapy sessions. In this thoughtful and compassionate guide, Tamala Floyd, LCSW, gives readers the resources to expand their "parts work" beyond the therapist's office and into daily life—where the real healing happens.
To write Listening When Parts Speak, Floyd draws on 20-plus years of experience as a psychotherapist, teacher, consultant, and coach specializing in healing trauma, and in particular, intergenerational trauma. Each chapter offers lucid explanations of key concepts, illustrative stories from patients (as well as Floyd's own experience), and a guided meditation that can be used either in between therapy appointments to support and reinforce the work or as a way to begin an IFS therapy journey.
In these pages, readers
Explore the healing principles of IFS therapy Get to know their own parts—including wounded "exiles" and dedicated "protectors"Foster a trusting connection between the parts and the secure Self that connects them allStart to free themselves from beliefs that no longer serve themConnect with the wisdom and guidance of ancestors for deeper understanding and healing
Practitioners, too, will find Listening When Parts Speak an invaluable resource for supporting their patients and enhancing their own practice.
257 pages, Paperback
Published August 20, 2024
134 people are currently reading
327 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
February 8, 2025
Amazing resource. The meditations in this IFS guide were great.
July 15, 2025
Tamala Floyd does an excellent job of merging ancestral lineage healing with IFS. Overall, her book helped widen my understanding of and answer my questions about IFS. Also, if you're one of my goodreads' friends who feel like they've hid a roadblock with inner healing, IFS is such an awesome modality to get past roadblocks or at least understand them better. It's been shown to help with neuroplasticity. Highly recommend. (But like definitely deep dive on how it works or go to a professional before trying.)
My notes to myself:
- Better understanding the importance of clocking a self-like part. Self-like parts cannot heal other parts, only actual Self can. "To identify [self-like parts] notice if your heart is open or closed. Ask yourself, 'Does the part seem to have an agenda?' Although self wants our parts to heal it doesn't push for healing. It offers healing as a choice and allows parts to decide. Self-like parts on the other hand, try to push parts and other people in a particular direction."
- Ancestors know so very much about our own unique histories and bloodlines. They will enhance the healing process. "Instead of only having access to your self-energy, which is sufficient for healing all by itself, you magnify the amount and intensity of self-energy by inviting connection with your self-lead ancestors." SELF-LEAD ancestors. If an ancestor feels dark or has an agenda, it is likely lead by an exile and will not enhance healing.
-"When parts are blended, they believe they are you. They have no awareness of a self who can support them and handle what they believe you cannot. The key to helping parts is to assist them to unblend. Self cannot make the part unblend, that is the part's choice. But self can encourage the process. Parts are usually willing to unblend after they experience some quality of self-energy." It's been a game changer when I'm activated to stop and ask myself "Am I blended right now?", because I always am when activated. Then, asking the part to unblend or at least let Self coinhabit has worked so well, since I've been putting so much time into getting my parts to trust Self.
-Cave meditation with ancestors 10 outta 10
-When unburdening ask, "What percentage of the burden is a legacy burden vs. a burden born from life experience?"
-Becoming Self led does not mean parts go away. But when led by Self, parts now can choose how to respond (exiles cannot choose until healed). Self can be with parts when the parts are in the seat of consciousness.
My notes to myself:
- Better understanding the importance of clocking a self-like part. Self-like parts cannot heal other parts, only actual Self can. "To identify [self-like parts] notice if your heart is open or closed. Ask yourself, 'Does the part seem to have an agenda?' Although self wants our parts to heal it doesn't push for healing. It offers healing as a choice and allows parts to decide. Self-like parts on the other hand, try to push parts and other people in a particular direction."
- Ancestors know so very much about our own unique histories and bloodlines. They will enhance the healing process. "Instead of only having access to your self-energy, which is sufficient for healing all by itself, you magnify the amount and intensity of self-energy by inviting connection with your self-lead ancestors." SELF-LEAD ancestors. If an ancestor feels dark or has an agenda, it is likely lead by an exile and will not enhance healing.
-"When parts are blended, they believe they are you. They have no awareness of a self who can support them and handle what they believe you cannot. The key to helping parts is to assist them to unblend. Self cannot make the part unblend, that is the part's choice. But self can encourage the process. Parts are usually willing to unblend after they experience some quality of self-energy." It's been a game changer when I'm activated to stop and ask myself "Am I blended right now?", because I always am when activated. Then, asking the part to unblend or at least let Self coinhabit has worked so well, since I've been putting so much time into getting my parts to trust Self.
-Cave meditation with ancestors 10 outta 10
-When unburdening ask, "What percentage of the burden is a legacy burden vs. a burden born from life experience?"
-Becoming Self led does not mean parts go away. But when led by Self, parts now can choose how to respond (exiles cannot choose until healed). Self can be with parts when the parts are in the seat of consciousness.
July 18, 2025
I moved back and forth into this book for some time. It is one of those books that needs time to compost in my system. Floyd takes the complexities of IFS work and uses narratives to walk through the process. The best part, for me at least, are the sets of meditations she’s included. I see these mediations, and this text, as one to revisit as I go about the business of life. I’ve enjoyed the couple I’ve done so far, and see the idea of options as useful in my future reflective practices.
May 30, 2025
Necessary Reading for Black American Descendants of Enslaved Folks and Those who Care for Them
The American slave trade and the subsequent dehumanization of Black Americans has led to a lot of internal fracturing in my family, self, and community. This book has given me new language to describe the healing process needed to unblend from fractured parts and become Self-led.
The American slave trade and the subsequent dehumanization of Black Americans has led to a lot of internal fracturing in my family, self, and community. This book has given me new language to describe the healing process needed to unblend from fractured parts and become Self-led.
November 24, 2024
Tamala does an amazing job of presenting IFS and expanding the practice of generational/ancestral burdens. This work offers guided meditations to aid in healing the hurt and dysfunction that gets passed on through our families of origin.
September 25, 2024
This book has so many valuable resources for clients and even individual work.
January 15, 2025
💯✍🏽💯✍🏽💯✍🏽
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 22, 2025
a solid primer on IFS
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews