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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Paellas: Living in Spain can often be more manure than roses.
LIVING IN SPAIN OFTEN IS MORE MANURE THAN ROSES.
Abbie had been living in Spain for over fifteen years when she met Mark; a charismatic, talented artist, apparent Phil Vickery lookalike and an all round arsewipe.
Now, thirteen years on, and wanting to slow down their hectic lifestyle, they decide to sell their successful business on the Spanish coast, and move to the countryside.
Faced with unrelenting insects, savage heat waves and ruthless farmers, she shares the good, the bad and the ugly of their venture. They learn that life in the country is very different than the coast, their idea of a dream home might be months without electric, mains water, chicken grabbing eagles and the old Spanish farmer who refuses to leave.
Is Mark in it for the long haul? Can he overcome the hardships and pitfalls of moving and starting all over again? He’s done it once, what could go wrong?
Lock, stock and Two Smoking Paellas is a light-hearted book that is not intended to send you running back home. But, life is a challenge, no matter where you live, and if you don’t speak the lingo you had better hope the sun keeps shining.
Abbie had been living in Spain for over fifteen years when she met Mark; a charismatic, talented artist, apparent Phil Vickery lookalike and an all round arsewipe.
Now, thirteen years on, and wanting to slow down their hectic lifestyle, they decide to sell their successful business on the Spanish coast, and move to the countryside.
Faced with unrelenting insects, savage heat waves and ruthless farmers, she shares the good, the bad and the ugly of their venture. They learn that life in the country is very different than the coast, their idea of a dream home might be months without electric, mains water, chicken grabbing eagles and the old Spanish farmer who refuses to leave.
Is Mark in it for the long haul? Can he overcome the hardships and pitfalls of moving and starting all over again? He’s done it once, what could go wrong?
Lock, stock and Two Smoking Paellas is a light-hearted book that is not intended to send you running back home. But, life is a challenge, no matter where you live, and if you don’t speak the lingo you had better hope the sun keeps shining.
267 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2023
About the author
E.J. Wood
16 books154 followers Wood is just a storyteller!
E.J. Wood is a British author of crime, horror, dark romance, and psychological suspense.
Aside from her memoirs, her books feature unhinged, and morally grey characters, although, some readers may argue that even her memoirs feature some very unusual characters.
Wood started writing in 2001. She published a 3-part series of erotic short stories (The Red Death Diaries) in 2015 with Smashwords, and later with Amazon in 2017. Her debut novel, Beyond the Pale was published in 2018.
She loves to chat with her readers and is very active on her Facebook page E.J. Wood Author, so please do reach out. If you have something positive to say about any of her books, she'd be grateful if you left a review and told your friends, as most of all, she just wants you to enjoy her stories.
To be notified about future book releases press "Follow"
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Facebook ➜ https://www.facebook.com/authorejwood
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E.J. Wood is a British author of crime, horror, dark romance, and psychological suspense.
Aside from her memoirs, her books feature unhinged, and morally grey characters, although, some readers may argue that even her memoirs feature some very unusual characters.
Wood started writing in 2001. She published a 3-part series of erotic short stories (The Red Death Diaries) in 2015 with Smashwords, and later with Amazon in 2017. Her debut novel, Beyond the Pale was published in 2018.
She loves to chat with her readers and is very active on her Facebook page E.J. Wood Author, so please do reach out. If you have something positive to say about any of her books, she'd be grateful if you left a review and told your friends, as most of all, she just wants you to enjoy her stories.
To be notified about future book releases press "Follow"
Book music PLAYLISTS - Spotify: E.J. Wood | Author
Facebook ➜ https://www.facebook.com/authorejwood
Instagram ➜ https://www.instagram.com/@_j_wood_au...
Goodreads ➜ https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Ratings & Reviews
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
October 31, 2023
I'm a big fan of Emma's crime novels, and was drawn into this by the very striking cover.
I didn't fully realise going in, that this would be a travelogue, but what a cracking read.
It follows the journey of the couple completely upping sticks and moving to a rural home that's slightly run down, with the vision of rebuilding and creating their perfect home.
It follows the year from purchase to the anniversary of moving in, and all the trials and tribulations along the way.
Some were laugh out loud funny, some made me wince. The link back to food was clever and a great way to tell a story and I'm 100% going to try a few of those recipes.
I loved the snippets of history, I love learning when I read. I didn't know Spain had quite such a rich history, I guess I'd not thought about it before.
The descriptive writing is brilliant and really puts you there, particularly during the 40+ degree days and the shimmering heat.
If you're thinking about a move to Spain or just want to see a great view of someone's experience, or just a lighthearted read, this is definitely for you. Highly recommended.
I didn't fully realise going in, that this would be a travelogue, but what a cracking read.
It follows the journey of the couple completely upping sticks and moving to a rural home that's slightly run down, with the vision of rebuilding and creating their perfect home.
It follows the year from purchase to the anniversary of moving in, and all the trials and tribulations along the way.
Some were laugh out loud funny, some made me wince. The link back to food was clever and a great way to tell a story and I'm 100% going to try a few of those recipes.
I loved the snippets of history, I love learning when I read. I didn't know Spain had quite such a rich history, I guess I'd not thought about it before.
The descriptive writing is brilliant and really puts you there, particularly during the 40+ degree days and the shimmering heat.
If you're thinking about a move to Spain or just want to see a great view of someone's experience, or just a lighthearted read, this is definitely for you. Highly recommended.
February 25, 2024
Good book, and a lot of fun.
I loved the cover and title of this book. It really caught my eye when it was recently on promo, and I couldn’t resist buying it. A few pages in, and I knew it was just my type of book!
This is a bit different-it’s not a retiring to Spain memoir: The author was born in Britain, but was brought up in Spain, so she's already been living there for 30 years. She and Mark (who she met in Spain) live on the coast, and are wanting to swap for a countryside experience. They’d like to be off-grid, grow their own, and have some chickens, and a piglet.
The author tells of their property searching, and unexpected hurdles. She blends their house-hunting adventures with info and history of the foods, and includes some relevant recipes, there are plenty of laughs in there too. Very enjoyable.
It’s a quick, easy read. Fairly brief chapters, so you'll whiz through it just fine. I wonder if she'll write more about their adventures? I do hope so.
I loved the cover and title of this book. It really caught my eye when it was recently on promo, and I couldn’t resist buying it. A few pages in, and I knew it was just my type of book!
This is a bit different-it’s not a retiring to Spain memoir: The author was born in Britain, but was brought up in Spain, so she's already been living there for 30 years. She and Mark (who she met in Spain) live on the coast, and are wanting to swap for a countryside experience. They’d like to be off-grid, grow their own, and have some chickens, and a piglet.
The author tells of their property searching, and unexpected hurdles. She blends their house-hunting adventures with info and history of the foods, and includes some relevant recipes, there are plenty of laughs in there too. Very enjoyable.
It’s a quick, easy read. Fairly brief chapters, so you'll whiz through it just fine. I wonder if she'll write more about their adventures? I do hope so.
October 27, 2023
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review
I haven’t read any travel books like this, and at first I didn’t realize it was a travelogue. I kept waiting for the crime, or the dead body to show up. But as I relaxed into it, I liked hearing the many trials and tribulations the author experienced in uprooting their lives and starting a new chapter drastically different from her previous chapter.
The inclusion of the recipes a nice touch and I’m sure the author went thru many test batches to get to a recipe she liked. She incorporates history in all of her novels so I was not surprised but pleased when she included the history of the places she researched and went to in her travels
I haven’t read any travel books like this, and at first I didn’t realize it was a travelogue. I kept waiting for the crime, or the dead body to show up. But as I relaxed into it, I liked hearing the many trials and tribulations the author experienced in uprooting their lives and starting a new chapter drastically different from her previous chapter.
The inclusion of the recipes a nice touch and I’m sure the author went thru many test batches to get to a recipe she liked. She incorporates history in all of her novels so I was not surprised but pleased when she included the history of the places she researched and went to in her travels
October 25, 2023
I received an arc in exchange for an honest review.
I have read a few travel books and this one had me laughing in hysterics. It's good to see their adventure all laid out. It's a warts and all tale of this couples change of life and the characters they meet along the way, some even cring-worthy. All in all it was a great read.
I have read a few travel books and this one had me laughing in hysterics. It's good to see their adventure all laid out. It's a warts and all tale of this couples change of life and the characters they meet along the way, some even cring-worthy. All in all it was a great read.
November 3, 2023
This book is a travelogue and it’s starts with Abbie and Mark who have decided to live in Spain. What is their journey to find that special dream home?
I absolutely adored the characters of Abbie, Mark and Shelia, Marks mum, she is a real character. What makes Shelia so funny? Who is Duncan and what stories does he have to tell?
This book takes you on a journey through Spain. Some of the topics are local food traditions, the vast population of birds, the festivals and a volcanic bomb. But what makes this book so unique is the inclusion of recipes.
The author has stuck to her tradition of including historical events which I always find fascinating and again very unique.
This is the first travelogue I’ve read and it certainly won’t be the last as it has real laugh out loud stories and one liners, looks at friendships and relationships and a very poignant ending.
One fantastically written book easy 5 stars
I absolutely adored the characters of Abbie, Mark and Shelia, Marks mum, she is a real character. What makes Shelia so funny? Who is Duncan and what stories does he have to tell?
This book takes you on a journey through Spain. Some of the topics are local food traditions, the vast population of birds, the festivals and a volcanic bomb. But what makes this book so unique is the inclusion of recipes.
The author has stuck to her tradition of including historical events which I always find fascinating and again very unique.
This is the first travelogue I’ve read and it certainly won’t be the last as it has real laugh out loud stories and one liners, looks at friendships and relationships and a very poignant ending.
One fantastically written book easy 5 stars
February 28, 2024
Absolutely love this book. A lighthearted and easy reading Spanish delight by the author. After being on a horror reading fest for quite some time, this was such a refreshing and welcome change of direction for me to read.. Thank you for the ARC Emma.
October 2, 2024
Rural Life in Spain
The author gives an account of her life in Spain with Mark, & details customs & traditions. It’s around the time that they have decided to move inland from the coast. They tour through rural Valencian Community to an assortment of ramshackle buildings in considerable disrepair. Life in the countryside with a quieter, more organic life is what they are after. An interesting read.
There’s a selection of mouth-watering authentic recipes, including paella & patatas bravas.
The author gives an account of her life in Spain with Mark, & details customs & traditions. It’s around the time that they have decided to move inland from the coast. They tour through rural Valencian Community to an assortment of ramshackle buildings in considerable disrepair. Life in the countryside with a quieter, more organic life is what they are after. An interesting read.
There’s a selection of mouth-watering authentic recipes, including paella & patatas bravas.
July 12, 2024
Let me start by saying I enjoyed the gist of the story. However, someone really needed to proof read it, as the grammar and punctuation was atrocious (this may be a Kindle edition issue rather than the author).
One issue issue that was down to the author was that the story jumped around too much. Sometimes the asides went on for so long, I forgot what the original topic of the chapter was. Overall, there was no real structure to the book. It had a start and an end but the middle was just a jumble of everything else.
One issue issue that was down to the author was that the story jumped around too much. Sometimes the asides went on for so long, I forgot what the original topic of the chapter was. Overall, there was no real structure to the book. It had a start and an end but the middle was just a jumble of everything else.
October 28, 2023
I read this as an advanced reader for an unbiased review.
E.J. Wood's first travel memoir is full of ouch moments that at times I thought "better you than me". Her hilarious take on a new life in rural Spain had me laughing out loud. I have been to Spain on holiday and her descriptions brought back fond memories. I'm filled with admiration, not everyone would be so brave. I look forward to reading more.
E.J. Wood's first travel memoir is full of ouch moments that at times I thought "better you than me". Her hilarious take on a new life in rural Spain had me laughing out loud. I have been to Spain on holiday and her descriptions brought back fond memories. I'm filled with admiration, not everyone would be so brave. I look forward to reading more.
October 26, 2023
I throughly enjoyed reading this book. It makes you want to move to Spain.When I was reading this book and seeing the recipes it was making us feel hungry.I can highly recommend this book.
May 28, 2024
Throughly good read.
I read this book in one sitting. Very good read. No nonsense and very informative. Good humour and very straightforward.
I read this book in one sitting. Very good read. No nonsense and very informative. Good humour and very straightforward.
November 2, 2023
Really enjoyed this it was like you were watching on enjoying the trials and tribulations of the start of the good life. Also a look into a little known side of rural Spain. Don’t think I want to become a pooh expert though !
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews