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Is It My Fault?: Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence.

4.14  ·  Rating details ·  65 ratings  ·  15 reviews
Save Me From Violence proclaims the gospel of healing and hope to victims who know too well the depths of destruction and the overwhelming reality of domestic violence.

At least one in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in their lifetime. The effects of domestic violence are physical, social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual, and ca
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Kindle Edition, 176 pages
Published May 1st 2014 by Moody Publishers (first published February 11th 2014)
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Average rating 4.14  · 
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 ·  65 ratings  ·  15 reviews


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Anastasia Kinderman
It's no secret that there is an epidemic among certain churches in America. Abuse (usually by men) is justified by both the abusers and church leaders when it comes to light. Christian wives are told to submit, told they're responsible for the abuse, and receive no real help from the institution that should be helping them the most. The sad reality is that this cancer has been allowed to fester in certain churches spheres for quite awhile and too many women have been hurt.

This book i
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Mary
Oct 06, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction, religion
I received this book from Good Reads in a giveaway. Originally I missed the detail that it is written from a Christian, biblical perspective. Honestly, that put me off of it at first, before I started reading it, because often those types of books aren't grounded in good theory. I was pleasantly surprised to find as I read that the authors had extensive backgrounds and experience in public health, theology, and domestic violence work. The book is a good mix of religious perspective and helpful i ...more
Lauren
Got this book for free on goodreads giveaways. Glad I got it when I was working at the women's center.
Gives a lot of good information about domestic violence. Has a very religious aspect, which I wasn't expecting when I got it. Some of the information was new to me, but most of it was just a refresher on what I was already learning.
Will be helpful for some people who are going through a domestic violence situation (or those that want to learn a lot about it). It includes the power and con
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Kristi-Joy
Jun 19, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I will be recommending this book to anyone who will listen. No matter your connection to Domestic Violence - personal, friend, relative, congregation, or don't even know it might be around you - this is a fantastic resource. Excellent background, information, help, and theology of how to deal with domestic violence specifically as Christians.
Aaron
Feb 29, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: abuse-prevention
I first picked up a copy of Is It My Fault? after reading God Made All of Me by the same authors. Abuse has so many different manifestations and all of them are tragic. While God Made All of Me is a book written to help parents prevent sexual abuse of their children, Is It My Fault? looks at the tragedy of abuse from another angle; that of the the adult victim who is suffering abuse in her home. Sadly, this is happening in more households than we may suspect.

Justin and Lindsey Holcomb understand the gravity of the situation.
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Julius
Mar 21, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Justin and Lindsey Holcomb's Is It My Fault? Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence offers a compassionate and faithful voice to the conversation about domestic violence. And that voice echoes with these simple words: "It's not your fault".

No matter what kind of abuse you have experienced, there is nothing you can do, nothing you can say, nothing you think that makes you deserving of it. There is no mistake you could have made and no sin you could have committed to m
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Stacy
Oct 06, 2015 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Marissa
Oct 01, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: first-reads
I received this as a First Reads giveaway.

To start this off, I have to mention I did not realize this was a religious book. I work with families who deal with DV, so when I saw this giveaway, I jumped on it without looking further into it. I'll also state that I do not consider myself a Christian (I was raised Christian so I do have a soft spot for the religion, but I am not practicing). So I was a bit nervous when I realized that this is a faith-based way to handle DV.

Th
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Richard Minor
I thought the author did a great job in the writing of this book. It gives the comfort only the gospel can bring to a horrific situation. It provides strong arguments to the victim on why they should leave their abuser and how to get away from their abuser.

This is also good for pastors. 1 3-hour credit of counseling is all that is mandatory for pastors in many seminaries. Let's face it, the content in a basic counseling class doesn't prepare us for a person coming into our office who
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Amy
Apr 10, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Is It My Fault? is a must read for all involved in or have been involved in domestic abuse. Being yourself or someone you know, this book helps one to have a better understanding about abuse. I wish I had this book handy when I was in my first marriage. Even though that relationship has been over for over a decade now, I now see how much danger I was in.
I would definitely recommend this book for all of those in an abusive relationship. Including teenagers, those in a same sex relationship, and
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Rachel
Dec 30, 2014 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: got-bored
Although I think the content of this book was wonderful. It was a bit too focused on the religious aspects of healing, for my personal taste. Personally, although I understand the importance of religion to some, I was disappointed that this book included so many references to religion as I feel that it greatly narrows down its potential audience. The book has a lot of potential and still has a lot of valuable content, but would be much more influential were those pieces to be omitted or kept to ...more
Linda Madden
Dec 27, 2014 rated it it was amazing
An excellent read for those either living a nightmare of domestic violence, or those reaching out to support and understand what a victim is struggling with each day! The statistics surrounding the long-lasting impact domestic violence can have on the victim as well as the children are alarming! I love the author's Biblical perspective of God's grace, healing and hope for the victim.
Cameron
Nov 05, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Phenomenal book on domestic abuse from a healthy Christian perspective. Greatly needed in the church - especially considering that Christian women are more likely to stay in abusive relationships due to a distortion of beliefs. Also very easy to read. Can't recommend enough.
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Lindsey A. Holcomb counsels victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. Previously, she worked a case manager at a sexual assault crisis center and a domestic violence shelter. Lindsey provided crisis intervention to victims of sexual assault and domestic violence and conducted a variety of training seminars to service providers. She earned a Master in Public Health with a focus on violence a
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“The abuse does not define you or have the last word on your identity. Yes, it is part of your story, but not the end of your story.” 2 likes
“Intentional: The abuser consciously or subconsciously sets out to use deliberate abusive tactics to achieve his/her ends. The abuser chooses to abuse and he can choose to stop abusing at any time. • Methodical: The abuser systematically uses a series of abusive tactics to gain power over the partner and to control her. • Pattern: The abused partner often at first sees the abusive tactics as isolated and unrelated incidents, but they are really a series of related acts that form a pattern of behaviors. • Tactics: The abuser uses a variety of tactics to gain power and to control his partner such as threats, violence, humiliation, exploitation, or even self-pity. • Power: The abuser aims to acquire and employ power in the relationship. For example, the abuser may use force or threats of physical harm to intimidate his or her partner, thereby gaining physical and emotional power. Or the abuser may prohibit the partner from working, making the partner financially dependent on the abuser, and thereby gaining financial power. • Control: With sufficient power, the abuser can control his partner—forcing or coercing her to do as the abuser wishes. For example, the abuser controls the decision making for the relationship, or controls who has social contact with the partner, or determines the sexual practices of the partner. The goal of the abuser is to force compliance. • Desires: The abuser’s ultimate goal is to get his emotional and physical desires met and he aims to selfishly make use of his partner to meet those needs. Most abusers are afraid their desires will not be fulfilled through a normal healthy relationship. Fear motivates them to use abuse to ensure that their desires will be met.” 1 likes
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