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Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

4.05  ·  Rating details ·  2,203 ratings  ·  231 reviews
Dr. William Glasser offers a new psychology that, if practiced, could reverse our widespread inability to get along with one another, an inability that is the source of almost all unhappiness.

For progress in human relationships, he explains that we must give up the punishing, relationship–destroying external control psychology. For example, if you are in an unhappy relatio
Paperback, 368 pages
Published January 6th 1999 by Harper Perennial (first published 1998)
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زیبایی خاص گردنبند های رزینی همیشه جذاب و مورد استقبال همه بوده است.

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Kater Cheek
Nov 10, 2013 rated it liked it

My best summary of Choice Theory is that unhappiness almost always results from an unsatisfactory relationship, and unsatisfactory relationships almost always involve one person trying to control the other. You can't control another person, you can only give them information.* This book expands this to discuss how to use this knowledge to become a better spouse, parent, employer, teacher and friend, though he assumes you don't try to control your friends.

I've read a lot of self-help type books,
Apr 29, 2012 rated it it was amazing
After years of hearing about "powerlessness" how refreshing to recover my own innate voice that said, "you always have a choice"
Azita Rassi
Sep 05, 2018 rated it liked it
Some chapters were great and merited five stars, but overall it had lots that could be trimmed. I fully agree with the theory and hope I can put it to practice more often.
Jan 09, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Todos
Choice Theory as created by Glasser is really extraordinary. Basically humans choose everything that we do, we are in control directly or indirectly of everything.

Hold up there, then why are so many people depressed and miserable, you ask? Well, a person would not intentionally choose to be miserable, but they may choose behaviors and thoughts that make them so. See, the way Glasser puts it (as I understand it) is to say that humans have 5 needs: 1) Love and belonging, 2) Power 3) Survival 4) F
Victoria Drob
Apr 13, 2018 rated it liked it
I'm a big proponent and advocate of this theory, employing it daily in my psychotherapy practice and personal life. However, the book is tedious, repetitive, and unnecessarily lengthy for a relatively simple concept. The author is self-aggrandizing and insists that this is a catch-all/cure-all, which it is most certainly not. He discusses multiple examples of how he used the theory with his therapy clients, including a hypothetical one based on a fictional character from The Bridges of Madison C ...more
Arezou Keshavarz
Jun 23, 2019 rated it really liked it
I liked the idea that you can feel empowered if you know that your feelings and even to a great level, your pain, is under your own control. Even though I felt some parts of the book were hard to relate to (especially the very beginning and the end), the parts I liked about the book were the parts where the author explains how he actually applies this theory to patients in therapy, and how this can strengthen relationships and lead to better and more fulfilling lives and even more productive wor ...more
Gerald Thomson
Jun 01, 2015 rated it liked it
Very interesting ideas put forth by Dr. Glasser. The main assumption is that you can only deal with what is happening right now, and what your actions will be in the future. You can’t change the past. This is a refreshing idea in a world that insists on digging up the past, or opening up old wounds, to help them heal. In most cases, wounds heal best when left alone. Glasser also emphasizes actions to feeling. You may feel that you want to kill yourself, but what are you going to do that is produ ...more
Naser Farkhideh
Jul 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book opened a door to personal freedom for me. The simple way of explaining such wonderful ideas leave you speechless for hours while you are going through pages like a thirsty wanderer in search of water. The book talks about how easily relationships could be more and more relaxing, fruitful and for god's sake more sensible. After reading this book, relationships are more realistic to me and in more control. The word "control" is not the best one to define anything about this book though s ...more
Feb 07, 2020 rated it did not like it
Some words are better left unsaid, and some books are better left unwritten. Choice Theory is a textbook example of such literature. The content is not unlike most people’s lower intestines: stinky, and loaded with danger. I’m at a complete lack of words for describing just how disgusting this capitalistic gospel of opportunism really is, but I will try my best.

One way to think about Choice Theory is that it bears some resemblance to what I would imagine it’d be like to be the victim of an abusi
Pedram Lajevardi
Mar 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I enjoyed reading this book. Too often we blame a conflict or a stressful situation on others, and forget about the impact we can have. Many examples in the book make it easier for the reader for the reader to understand the concept.
Aug 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Great book, one of my first books that I didn't feel time while reading it.
although chapters 10 and 11 were a bit dull to me.
Romeo Verga
Mar 18, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-development
William shows a shift if focus from placing blame on external things and empower yourself to make different choice if not better by shifting your thoughts and actions
Kruno Stjepanović
Oct 12, 2018 rated it really liked it
A refreshing view on human psychology and relationships. While not a self-help kind of a book, it is certainly very useful and with advice everyone should incorporate in their lives.
Abolfazl Kakaey
May 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Most of the books and authors talk about same things with different languages and don't have a new mindset. But this book is totally different in regard to mindset and method.
Mr. Glasser learns new beneficial concepts that can lead to change our lives, if master them, even when just know them
Feb 16, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Choice theory helped me--to some degree--take control of my life. Everything in our life happens because of a decision, and people make thousands of decisions each day. The sections of this book regarding dealing with people was especially helpful to me, recognizing types of harmful people based off the evident decisions they keep making time and time again. I have a copy covered in sticky notes with especially fantastic portions sitting around somewhere.

I fully recommend this to anyone who feel
Feb 22, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: psychology
Glasser argues human misery comes from unsatisfying relationships. We need to abandon external control psychology, where we seek to control others and believe others control us, in favor of choice theory where we focus on only what we can control: our own behavior. In truth, all we can give one another is information, and it's up to us to choose what to do with that information. This can be a difficult thing to accept, but once we focus on what we can do in the present, and that's what matters. ...more
In Choice Theory, William Glasser puts aside the traditional way of psychotherapy. (Something that I've always had problem with). He criticizes what he calls External control phychology.
The book contains three main parts that describe how this theory would adjust to different situations and how can we be able to make use of it in different parts of the society from household to school, working places, neighborhoods and prisons.
What I really liked about the book is the new look witch is no longe
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Okay, guys, this is a MUST read for everybody!
I was at my most vulnerable point in life when I piked up this book, and I still can't believe how it healed me down to my bones. This book is a manual for being a human being. Do you want to know where your feelings come from? Why you feel and do things? William Glasser explains in the simplest chopped-down form, what it is to be human and how we can try to get along with each other better. If we feel unhappy at any time in our lives, it can be tra
Jul 11, 2013 rated it it was ok
I will admit to some skimming and choosing certain parts to skip, but overall I thought the book had some excellent key ideas that could help improve the relationships of many that I know. His tone is a little self-righteous and most of his examples are presented in a case-study style from people he has treated. However, I do feel I have a broader language of expression in terms of my own needs and how I can serve those needs without using them to attempt controlling others. Give it a perusal, a ...more
Feb 08, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-improvement
Some phenomenal concepts that might lead us towards a perfect world. Some good examples of practice & some a little far from my willingness to try. I once had a psychologist talk to me about the balance between connection & control & think this book contributes to me understanding this. I think this book is about finding peace - is it a peace we can find in this world?
A great book that walks a different path to current society.
Deane P.
Apr 12, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Nothing new about the information presented - what is new and dazzlingly brilliant is the way the information is connected, and the implications for lasting peace and happiness in all levels of society from the most personal to the most global. There are few books I would consider to be "life changing". This is one of them.
Chris Weaver
Aug 23, 2012 rated it really liked it
I found this to be one of the two most helpful theories to follow when dealing with teen-age students, helping them to guide their decisions to get the results they desire. Great help to my counseling profession.
Sep 25, 2008 marked it as to-read
This book is great. I can only read so much at a time, then I have to process for a while.
Jan 16, 2011 rated it really liked it
Required reading for my graduate level counseling class. Helps readjust your perspective and improve your daily thought process.
Sep 03, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Liberating. We all have a choice.
Scott Stafford
Dec 01, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Should be required reading at school. Brilliant
Maryam Bakhtiari
Jun 16, 2018 rated it really liked it
Why didn't I read this book before?!
This is an amazing book! Why? It helps you dig in your memory (but not in a painful way) and find out what is wrong and how you should make a decision!
Nov 19, 2018 rated it liked it
An okay choice, a review of Choice Theory by William Glasser M.D.

Throughout my life I have read many nonfiction books, but few have presented such a contrast of astounding conceptualization and minimalist writing as Choice Theory. The author William Glasser, M.D. is clearly a master of the mind, but a novice when it comes to pen and paper. Personally I believe that due to this contrast the book can be considered as fulfilling neither the qualifications of true excellence nor those of mediocrit
"The seeds of almost all our unhappiness are presented early in our lives when we begin to encounter people who all have discovered not only what is right for them - but also, unfortunately, what is right for us. Armed with this discovery and following a destructive tradition that has dominated our thinking for thousands of years, these people feel obligated to try to force us to do what they know is right. Our choice of how we resist that force is, by far, the greatest source of human misery. " ...more
Nov 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Let’s get this out of the way first. This being published in the late 90s, its a little outdated in regards to some of the ways Glasser describes relationships and social structures. With that said, I get A LOT of Glasser’s Choice Theory concepts.

I read this to review a bit of both Reality Therapy and my first read of Choice Theory (for counselors) when I was in grad school. I use Choice Theory often with my college students who are all current and former foster youth who I believe, can benefit
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There's something great about a paperback book: They're perfect book club choices, you can throw them in your bag and go, and they've been out in...
55 likes · 17 comments
“It is no kindness to treat unhappy people as helpless, hopeless, or inadequate, no matter what has happened to them. Kindness is having faith in the truth and that people can handle it and use it for their benefit. True compassion is helping people help themselves.” 9 likes
“To achieve and maintain the relationships we need, we must stop choosing to coerce, force, compel, punish, reward, manipulate, boss, motivate, criticize, blame, complain, nag, badger, rank, rate, and withdraw. We must replace these destructive behaviors with choosing to care, listen, support, negotiate, encourage, love, befriend, trust, accept, welcome, and esteem. These” 4 likes
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